The Survival Games
by An Improbable Fiction
Summary: He was alone, she was desperate. She didn't mean to say it; it just slipped out. But the damage was done and there was no going back. But posing as a victors daughter in order to survive should be easy, right? SEQUEL NOW UP
1. The Prologue

**PART ONE: THE SURVIVOR  
><strong>

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><p><strong><em>Survive:<br>_****_v.__intr.  
><em>****1. **To remain alive or in existence.  
><strong>2. <strong>To carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere

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><p>P R O L O G U E<p>

Emery Matilda Hope. Emery was old English for survivor, Matilda for strength. People often said I had a such strong name, not realising the true meaning of Hope: Born on a wasteland. Yes, my name summed me up perfectly. Apart from the survivor part, or strength for that matter.

I was past hunger, past starvation, past living. I was just existing. I knew today was the day; the day I was going to die. I had spent the night lying against the trash cans of the bakery willing for sleep to come or better yet death.

My father died a few years ago in a mining accident, my mother last month, my sister a few weeks ago and my brother just yesterday. Death had taken everyone away but refused to take me.

When I lay down, it hurt. My ribs dug into my stomach. I just couldn't seem to stop shaking. I barely mustered the energy to move when the witch who owned the place chased me away with a poker.

I tried to walk down the streets, unsure of what I was actually looking for. Food, pity, mercy? But all I received was threatening glares. Parents covered their children's eyes and pulled them away from the skeleton from the seem. The merchants always hated us seem kids and we hated them in turn. They had considerably more money than us while we lived in poverty. And even when a girl of thirteen staggered down the streets they did not help. They turned a blind eye. Like I did not exist. To many of them I didn't. And the ones who did acknowledge me, shouted for the peacekeepers to take me away. If only. All I wanted was a bullet in my head. Quick. Easy. Painless. Nothing like this eternal torture.

I dropped to the floor but then heaved myself up again, determined to finish my walk to nowhere. My stomach churned, groaning loudly with emptiness. I leant up against a wall to regain my breath. I noticed a girl in my year staring across the square at me. Delly, I think her name was. I hadn't seen her for a while, I hadn't been to school. Not since mother died.

Delly looked around to see if anyone was watching. They weren't. No one cared about me. She darted across the square and into the shadows where I stood. She pulled out her crumpled handkerchief and undid it. Inside was a half eaten scone, most of it crumbs. "Sorry it's not more," she whispered, thrusting it into my hands. Most of the crumbs fell to my feet, but I barely noticed. I just stared at the pretty merchant girl in shock. She gave me a small embarressed smile.

"Delly," a woman, presumably her mother, called from across the square. "Come away from that thing. Mrs Mellark says she's been hanging around for weeks. She's probably diseased."

Delly ran back to her mother who dragged her away in search of a peacekeeper. That was my queue to leave. I staggered through the backstreets and scoffed my scone in one bite, but it was too much. Not minutes later I had vomited it back up again. Water, I needed water.

There was a puddle on the floor. I didn't care it was filthy, I would be dead by nightfall anyway. I cupped my hands and sipped the water. After I had finished I washed my grease and mud caked face. I crawled through the streets, less people were around here. I some how found myself across from the mayors house. They had it so easy; they had no idea what it was really like.

It was quite ironic how the people who worked the hardest and suffered the most always got less. There were families in the seem who worked ten times harder than the merchants, but were living in poverty.

As night fell it began to rain. Really rain. A downpour. My little spot on the floor began to flood leaving me in a puddle.

I wandered again, collapsing every few steps. After a few minutes, my legs gave way. I tripped and fell into a deep puddle. I didn't even have the energy to shield my face. It hit the ground hard. Something began to dribble out my nose. Blood. I groaned; refused to move.

"Kill me now, please..." I whispered, my voice desperate and hoarse. _It's not time yet_, the voice in my head sang.

When? I had suffered for months, was there no mercy in the world. I lifted my head up and found myself in the middle of the victors village. Only one of the houses contained a light. Haymitch Abernathy. The lone victor of district 12. He was rich, and a drunk. Surely I could get a few coins off him. A slice of bread or a cup of water? I heaved myself up and held on to the rail up the steps to his door. I knocked the door, but no one came.

I looked around and saw there was a bell. I rang it. No one answered. I rang again. And again. Taking out all my frustrations on this bell. The door suddenly swung open. I jumped back in surprise. There stood the man I had only seen from a far at the annual reaping. He was tall, scraggy and reeked of alcohol.

"What?" he asked angrily. I tried to speak but nothing came out. "Well." I continued to gape at him. He growled in frustration and went to close the door.

"Wait," my voice cracked. "Help me, please." "Sorry, kid. If I helped everyone who came to my door I would be broke," he said harshly.

For the first time, my eyes brimmed with tears as my last hope began to run further away from me. "Please, just give me anything. Scraps. I haven't eaten in weeks," I begged. I dropped to my knees and began to weep at his feet.

He tried to kick me away. I gripped on to his trousers.

"Why should I help you?" Haymitch asked. I looked up at him, my vision blurry with tears.

I didn't mean to say it. I don't know why I did. It just slipped out. But I was desperate. I needed to survive. "I'm your daughter," I sobbed, barely understandably.

"What?" he gasped, putting his bottle of liquor on the table by the door.

"I'm your daughter," I repeated, a little stronger this time. "My mother told me a few weeks ago... When she died." He stared at me stunned. "Who was your mother?" he stuttered.

"Carla Theréy," I said. It was the only honest thing that had came out my mouth. "I don't know a Carla," he said, trying to kick me away and close the door.

I held on tighter. "She said it was fourteen years ago, you were drunk." "I'm always drunk kid, but I've never been _that_ drunk."

I pulled myself up to stand and held his hand. "Please," I said earnestly staring into his bloodshot eyes, begging for him to give me a chance.

He sighed in defeat. "One night," he muttered. He stepped inside and held the door open for me.

**:-:**

I didn't stay for one night. I stayed for several. Haymitch never mentioned me leaving, so I never left. He gave me food and shelter and in return I cleaned, fed and looked after him. I soon learnt that Haymitch's drinking was a constant thing, but I did not mind. He had suffered greatly and it wasn't my place to tell him what to do. I think he respected me for that.

In the first few weeks we barely talked, but as time went on I began to open up to him. He told me very little about his life but I did not pry.

That changed on the day we went to the Hob. He had ran out of liquor and asked me if I would like to go with him to buy some more; he needed a hand carrying it. I could only oblige. Besides, I hadn't left the house in the whole time I had been there.

I had never been to the the Hob before, despite being from the seem. The place always scared me. But I felt safe when I was with Haymitch. The entire journey there and back we talked about everything and nothing. I learnt about his favourite season, why he loved the autumn, his favourite seller who worked at the Hob. I told him about my family, my life and my love for song.

In time, I began to actually care for him and him for me. I actually felt bad for lying to him. So when I told him that I was not his daughter, he simply replied: "I know." He told me he always did, and nothing more was said on the matter.


	2. The Boy with the Deer

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**

C H A P T E R O N E

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><p>"<em>You always think you know the better thing to do,<br>But in this case you could be wrong.  
>So you chuck of you shoes with an empty smile on your face"<br>- Number One Enemy, Daisy Dares You  
><em>

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><p>"Haymitch, I'm going into town do you need anything?" I shouted up the stairs.<br>He responded with a grunted 'no'. I shook my head and walked out the door. In the four months I had lived in the victors village, I had only seen Haymitch awake before noon a handful of times.

I headed out to the seam first; to the hob. I usually scavenged what I could there and then went into town for the things they did not sell. I felt a lot more confident going into the hob now. They were still a little suspicious of Haymitch's long lost daughter, but they accepted me now and the death glares and hackles had thankfully stopped.

We thought it best to keep up the father/daughter charade. It wouldn't look to good on Haymitch if it came out that a homeless seam girl was living with him. Even though that kind of thing was legal, it was still disgusting. The head peacekeeper Cray was wholly hated throughout twelve due to his approach to prostitution. I let out a small shudder and tried to let my thoughts wander as I walked down the dirt track to the seam.

It was quite a sunny day. It was April and in just two days time, Joanna Mason was to visit as part of her victory tour. Then, once she had left, Haymitch would leave for the Capitol while I would stay here all alone.  
>I had never seen Joanna's games. I had just caught the occasional glimps from the screens in the town square. My brother Alex and I were homeless by that point so we had no real means of watching the games... Thankfully.<p>

The morning mania of the hob was well underway so nobody really cared that I had arrived. However, there was even more craziness than usual. There was a large crowd of people gathered around by Greasy Sae's stall. I gasped in shock as people ran about shouting with cleavers, but then curiosity got the best of me.  
>Being so tiny, it was easy to push my way through the crowd. In the centre lay a large deer. Various customers were hacking parts off the animal while a girl about my age and a boy shouted for them to stop.<p>

"Hey, just get in line!" the boy shouted. I had seen them around here before. Greasy Sae told me that they were hunters and often did their trades in the hob. It was quite surprising that a girl my age could hunt, but you could see from the haughty look in her eyes that she was tough.  
>Haymitch liked his meats. We had never had deer before so I pushed my way up to the boy and took out my money bag.<p>

"Could I have some of the flank please," I said meekly, feeling very intimidated by his tall figure. He looked down at me with an amused grin and then turned to his hunting partner.

"Katniss, how much for the flank," he called.  
>"Erm... Ten?" she offered before turning back to her own customer.<p>

"Are you sure you have enough?" the boy asked. I jingled my bag tauntingly in his face. He looked a little peeved at the amount of money that was in there but took my ten coins all the same.

"Just cut what you want," he said.  
>I stared at him in disbelief. "With what, does it look like I carry a cleaver?" I sneered.<p>

"You could just look at it with those cutting eyes of yours," he said, handing me a knife from his belt.  
>"Funny," I said dully, barely resisting the urge to stick my tongue out at him.<p>

It was quite hard to get the blade in, but I managed to cut a smooth chunk out of the deers stomach. I pick-pocketed a plastic bag from a mans pocket and wrapped the meat up.

"Sae!" I called, fighting my way through the crowds.  
>"Oh hello Emery," she smiled. She was one of the few people in the hob that liked me. "It's mad in here today."<p>

"Oh I know yeah. I was wondering how I would cook this," I said, gesturing to bloody mess I was carrying under my arm.  
>"I would dice it all up and make a nice stew."<p>

"You and your stews," I grinned. The hunter boy came and stood beside us, but I ignored him.

Sae laughed. "Just add a few veggies and you'll be fine. Yes Gale, what can I help you with?"

"They're not moving," he moaned, gesturing wildly to the crowd hacking at the deer. "We wanted to take it to the butcher, but there's going to be none left."  
>She sighed loudly before banging her pots together. "Alright you scroungers, move!"<p>

I laughed loudly as she hit one of the men on the bag of my head. Gale stared at me curiously so I hid my head in my bag, seeing if I still had enough for Haymitch's alcohol.

"How do you have so much money?" he asked harshly, peering into the bag.  
>I snapped it shut. "It's rude to look in people bags," I hissed.<p>

"Is rude not to answer people's questions." he gave me an annoying 'haha, got you there' smirk.

I sighed in defeat. "My fathers Haymitch Abernathy," I mumbled. I hated saying it; I felt so guilty. But the lie was my method of survival and without it, I would be dead. I looked back up into Gale's grey eyes and saw realisation cross over them. There was a second pause before he burst into laughter.

"Haymitch, the drunken victor," he asked, still laughing lightly. "I didn't think he had ever been coherent enough to reproduce."

My blood boiled. How dare he? Did he not know what Haymitch had been through? All his losses, his kindness towards me. Gale had even insulted me. Well technically, he didn't know I wasn't Haymitch's daughter. Suddenly feeling very confident, I looked up at him and did the only rational thing. I swung the hunk of meat and hit him directly in his manly area.  
>He groaned loudly and sunk to the floor.<p>

"Next time you may want to think before you speak." I went to walk away but I turned back and crouched beside him. "Thanks for the meat," I whispered slyly, before skipping away. My little show had gained quite a bit of attention but I didn't care. That idiot had insulted Haymitch, and I was not going to let him get away with it.

I pushed my way through the crowds and over to the liquor stand. Technically, they should not be selling it to minors but when they told me this, I told them that they should not be selling it at all. No questions were asked after that. I left the hob with my steak, my vegetables and Haymitch's alcohol.  
>Next stop; town.<p>

I always hated going into the actual centre of District Twelve. It was filled with snobby merchants who would turn their noses up at me. I got even more looks than usual as I was carrying a crate of spirits. Ugh, this visit would be even shorter than usual. Not that I minded.

I popped into the utilities store and brought some cleaning products before going to the bakery. I popped my head around the door to check who was working today. It was the husband and the eldest son. Thank God, his wife was a witch. She was the one who tried to kill me with a poker a few months ago.  
>I smiled at them as I walked through the door. "Hi," I said brightly.<p>

"Hello, and how are we doing this morning?" the baker asked.  
>I shrugged. "Ok, I got some steaks from the hob." I weakly held up my bloody sack.<p>

"From Katniss and Gale?" I nodded. "I may have to get some from them if the price is right. So what can I get for you?"

"Just some rolls for the stew," I said, picking four out from the little window.  
>"Ah, so you're a skilled chef?" he joked.<p>

"If skilled means terrible then yes. Don't be surprised if you hear an explosion later."

He laughed. I really did like the baker. I often wondered how he ended up with someone like his wife. I was tempted to ask him a few times but then thought the better of it. He may get upset and I did not want to offend one of the few people who spoke to me.

The doorbell tinkled behind me before I heard an angry growl. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was.  
>"Mr Mellark, Katniss is around back and..." Gale trailed off.<p>

"Oh yes, yes," he said quickly. "That will be two coins Emery."  
>I hastily handed over my money before bolting out the door, completely ignoring all existence of Gale. I knew he would be angry, anybody would. It wouldn't surprise me if it was my body he was hauling into the hob next week. I shuddered at the thought.<br>My walk back home was short thanks to the spooky scenarios concerning my next meeting with Gale.

Haymitch was awake when I arrived. He was desperately rummaging around in every closet and cupboard. He didn't even look up when I came in.  
>"What are you looking for?" I asked, placing the boxes on the kitchen table. I threw of my shoes and have him a confused smile.<p>

"My suit, I need it cleaning for Monday," he mumbled. He swung open the cabinet under the sing and began throwing things out.  
>"Shouldn't it be in your closet?" I asked, sitting down at the table and laying everything out.<p>

"You would think," he mumbled. "Wow what's that?" he asked, his eyes catching the bloody meat for the first time.  
>"It's deer. Those kids caught it at the hob," I told him.<p>

Haymitch unwrapped it and let out a small whistle. "How much did this cost?"

"Just ten," I told him with a smirk. He grinned again and looked through the liquor bottles.  
>"Good haul." he pulled the cork out of one of the bottles with his teeth and took a large swig. He looked at the bottle thoughtfully before downing half of it. He let out a satisfied gasp before sitting down oppersite me. "So, what are you wearing Monday?"<p>

"Erm... This." I gestured down to a pair of dungarees from Haymitch's youth. I wouldn't let him buy me expensive clothes; that was a step too far.

"Well you have to wear something nice," he said, taking another gulp out of his bottle. I had only been in the house five minutes and the first bottle was almost gone.

"I thought we had agreed that I would stand nicely in the crowd and not say a word." The Capitol would find it very suspicious if a daughter suddenly appeared. Haymitch also thought that I would be used as a pawn in their games. Talk about paranoid.

"We need to be prepared if someone suddenly says: 'Where is your daughter?' - You don't want to look like a homeless kid from the seem."  
>"But I am a homeless kid from the seem," I said earnestly.<p>

"You're my daughter," he said sweetly. There were times that I thought he was so wasted when I told him the truth, he did not remember. But his wink that followed told me different. He downed the dregs out of the bottle and opened another.  
>"Come on, we're going to town," he said, picking up the remainder of the money.<p>

I groaned. "Ugh, please don't make me go back."  
>"Stop your whinging sweetheart. You never know, clothes shopping might be fun."<p>

It really wasn't. Haymitch got into an argument with the dressmaker, and the tailor. I tried on nine dresses before we came across one that was deemed acceptable. It was a bit too frilly and girly for my liking, but at least I would look smart for the ceremony.

On Monday evening, we all gathered around the mayors house for Joanna's speech. The entire town had been cleaned and various banners had been put up for the event. I stood near the front of the crowd at the foot of the stage. I shot regular grins at Haymitch who looked bored out of his mind. He sat at the size of the stage, his hand itching for a bottle. After a long wait, Joanna finally arrived. She was very pretty but I didn't know if that was natural beauty or Capitol enhancement.  
>She delivered her perfect speech about how she cared for the districts and how she loved the games. We may have been the dud district, but we weren't idiots. Everyone knew that these speeches were written by Capitol workers and recited by the victors in a feeble attempt to brainwash us.<p>

After the speech, Joanna, the mayor, Haymitch and her mentor went into the mayors house while the crowd dispersed. I began my wander back to the victors village but Haymitch's call prevented me.

"Em," he whispered. I spun around and found him standing at the side door of the mansion. "Quickly come on."  
>I checked the coast was clear and slipped under his arm into the building.<br>"I thought I was going home?" I asked, as he led me down the hallway. It was very grand.

"The mayor asked where you were. He wanted someone to keep his daughter Madge company," Haymitch slurred.

I stared at him in shock. "Are you drunk already?" It had only been ten minutes.

"So what if I'm a little tipsy. It's none of your business," he said with a smug grin. He was right, it wasn't any of my business. I understood why he did it, I just wished he wouldn't. After years of drinking his liver must be in a terrible state, he could drop dead at any minute.

"Why does Madge need a play date?" I asked, eager to change the subject.

Haymitch shrugged. "I don't think she has many friends." my heart went out to the girl. When I went to school, I was ignored for the most part. I was glad that I had managed to get away from that place.

Haymitch led us to a large dining room with grand ceilings and table settings. The room could easily hold twenty seam houses. Haymitch led me over to the mayor and the pretty blonde girl beside him.

"Ah, you must be Emery," the mayor said kindly, clapping an arm around his daughters shoulders. "This is my daughter Madge."  
>"It's nice to meet you both," I said, giving the most charming grin I could muster. Madge smiled at me shyly.<p>

"Now why don't you two run along," the mayor said. "Madge could give you a mini tour."

Madge nodded again and took me around the hall, showing me various painting and artworks. She didn't really talk too much and an awkward silence fell over us. I raked my brain for conversation starters, but Madge beat me too it.

"I've never seen you before," she said quietly. "Do you not go to school?"

"No, Haymitch home-schools me," I lied smoothly. She raised her eyebrows at me and then nodded over to where Haymitch was drinking straight from the punchbowl.

"He's not drunk _all_ the time. I honestly don't know why people think so bad of him. Like today..." I suddenly stopped myself from ranting but Madge was grinning at me wickedly. "What?" I asked her, confused.

"Gale Hawthorne," she whispered smiling. "He came by today mumbling about how someone had hit him in the-" she motioned 'down there' "-and about a drunk."  
>I sighed. Gosh she was good. "Yes, he was being mean about Haymitch," I admitted.<p>

She let out a loud bark. I would have never thought quiet Madge Undersee could make such a sound. I stared at her in shock. She regained herself and smiled. "Oh sorry. I know this sounds really bad, but he kind of deserved it." She let out a squeak and covered her mouth like she had said something awful. "He sometimes makes_ remarks _about daddy's position." she looked in to the distance thoughtfully for a few moments before laughing again. A few people looked our way. "Oh I'm sorry I can just picture it."

"Picture what?" a smooth voice said. I turned around and saw Joanna Mason standing beside us.

"Nothing," I said, mysteriously. I really didn't want my encounter with Gale to go around.  
>Joanna grinned slyly. "I'm victor, you have to do as I say and I want you to tell me." I dramatically pursed my lips. She huffed. "Please, I need some fun. This parties full of old men. You are the only people my age here."<p>

Joanna looked at us with huge sad eyes. Madge looked at her pitifully and told her. Sucker. "Emery kicked an annoying boy in his private parts today."  
>"I did not kick him, I hit him with a steak," I said, significantly. Joanna laughed harder.<p>

"Oh dear, why?" she asked.

"He insulted Haymitch?" I said, like it was the worst crime in the world.  
>"Your victor? I think he's brilliant," Joanna grinned. "All the others go around all high any mighty. Haymitch just does what he wants and has a laugh. It's nice to be around someone who's not serious all the time. How do you know him?"<p>

I looked up at her proudly, a genuine smile forming on my face. "I'm his daughter."

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><p><strong>Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed. <em>SilensFlos, Booksandmusic97, Morpheus357, God1801, lolamallark123 <em>and _Carly. _I was really surprised people actually reviewed concidering it was just the prologue and it was really short, so thanks a lot.**

**I kind of have most this story planned out, but normally, as i go on, everything changes. Im actually finding this really easy to write so hopefully expect the next chapter very soon.  
>And to anyone who is reading my other HG story 'The Returm', im really sorry but i have terrible writers block. I've wrote about a quarter of the next chapter, but ive just gone blank! I'll try and update if i can, but im just so into this story. I think you'll all love some of the ideas i have planned.<strong>

**Thanks so much for reading, let me know what you think.**

**Also, please check out my HG instagram: Districttwelve **


	3. The First Day of School

C H A P T E R T W O

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><p><em>"The last time I freaked out,<br>I just kept looking down,  
>I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinking about.<br>The next time we hang out, I will redeem myself,  
>My heart can rest till then."<br>- See You Again, Miley Cyrus_

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><p>Surprisingly, I was very lonely when Haymitch left for the Capitol a week later. In the past, I had tried telling myself that Haymitch was just my key to survival, nothing more. But I had grown accustomed to seeing him everyday and I actually enjoyed his company. I would even go as far as saying I... Cared about him? It was weird. He had become a sort of strange uncle to me.<p>

I spent his week away moping around by myself. I hadn't been back to the Hob since my incident with Gale and that was really the only good place to hang out. I walked over the bakery a few times but I got the impression I was annoying them a bit and slowing down work, so I returned back home.

I did visit Madge one day. I had to admit that for a merchant, she was alright. A little quiet, but I was slowly cracking her shell. She seemed quite happy for the company, as did her father who was elated for his lonely daughter. Madge begged my to come to school but I declined. I hated that hell hole.

The day before Haymitch came home, I decided to bake cakes. I could have easily brought something ten times as nice from the bakery, but this gave me something to do. Madge had decided to visit, well I kind of forced her really. I wasn't a great cook.

"And you think I'll be able to bake?" she asked as she awkwardly sieved the flour. "I have a staff of twenty. I've never even touched an over before."

"Ohhh, check out Princess Madge. 'I have a staff of twenty'," I mimicked airily. She nudged me in my ribs and flicked flour on my face. I glared at her before dipping my hand in the bowl and throwing a fistful over her hair.

She gasped. "Oh it's on!" We began to throw flour wildly at each other. Once it had ran out, I scrapped my finger in the dirty mixing bowl and smeared the mix on her face. Madge grabbed a pan from the sink and thew the water over my head. I screamed from the cold and picked up a bag of flour.

"I thought your job here was to clean, not make a mess," a familiar voice slurred from behind us. I dropped the bag in shock and then spun around.

"Haymitch!" I said, gleefully. It was like I was not in control of my body. My feet carried me forward as I launched myself at him, my arms squeezing around his waist.

He froze for a moment before awkwardly patting me on the head. "Erm... Are you ok?" he asked.  
>I quickly pulled back and regained myself. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said trying to sound indifferent. "Why are you back early?"<p>

"Had to get away from those fu-"  
>My eyes widened as I shook my head, nodding towards my friend behind me. Haymitch looked into the kitchen and smiled. "Oh hello, Maysilee," he said, his gaze softening.<p>

Madge's eyes widened. "H-Hello Mr Abernathy." she looked over to me, her face pale. "I'm sorry Em, but I have to get back. My dad will be worried."

"Ok?" I looked at her questionably but she shook her head. She smiled at Haymitch and walked out the door, leaving me to clean up the mess. Thanks Madge!  
>I took the mop and bucket out the utility room and began to clean the floor. Haymitch sat down at the kitchen table and watched me clean, a drink already in his hands.<p>

"So how was the Capitol?" I asked.  
>He groaned. "How'd ya think? Watching a young girl talking about murdering kids. It's the same shit every year." I looked down as I mopped the floor, kind of wishing that I hadn't asked.<p>

"Got to see my buddy Chaff though, so it wasn't a complete waste of a trip," he added. You had to give it to him; he was barely conscious, but he was still able to sense that I was uncomfortable. I was desperate to ask him about the Madge thing. But the tension and awkwardness was bad enough. Besides, I knew I would never get an honest answer off him.

"So, did you get me a present?" I asked trying to lighten the mood.

"Here," he said, handing me his bottle of half consumed wine. "Happy Hunger Games."

I stated at it in my hands. I had never tried alcohol before. We had never been able to afford it. I debated in my mind, a sip couldn't hurt right.  
>"Go on," Haymitch slurred. He somehow already had another bottle in his hands. "Chug, Chug, Chug."<p>

I took a deep breath before taking a gulp. The harsh liquid burned my throat as I swallowed. I coughed and spluttered as Haymitch laughed.

"Not funny," I muttered, wiping my mouth with my sleeve.

"Oh, you love me really. I think you missed me." he leaned back smugly in his chair.  
>"No I didn't," I said. It didn't sound too convincing. I smiled at him shyly. "Did you miss me?" I asked.<p>

Haymitch dramatically stroked his chin in deep though. "Nope!" he grinned wickedly and laughed, his glass toppling over to the floor.

Ugh, he could be such an ass at times. My eyes widened and I gave my best pout. "Oh, Ok," I said in a small voice. Haymitch stopped laughing and looked at me curiously. "I-I just thought that since we were kind of..." I trailed off and turned so he faced my back.

"Look, I'm sorry kid it was just a joke," he said in a guilty voice.  
>I spun around to face him with a triumphant smile. "And so was that," I said smugly.<p>

Haymitch pointed his finger at me angrily. "Wow, that was cruel. Although I have to admit your acting skills are superb. Bravo." I curtsied while he clapped.  
>"Shame there's no theatre around here. I would <em>own<em> this town."

"Yes, you could charm them with your kindness and modesty."  
>I stuck my tongue out at him. "So," I said sitting beside him. "I'm a great actress, but you are not. Care to share what happened with Madge. Or shall I say <em>Maysilee<em>?"

His eyes stayed fixed on the table in front. "I don't know what you're talking about," he muttered.

"Don't worry I'm not going to pry it from you." I held up my hands in defence. "But it's obvious there's a story there, and if you apply too much pressure when you bottle things up, there's more of a chance of an explosion."

He looked across at me, the corners of his eyes wrinkling into a smile. "Since when did you get so wise?"  
>"Me? I've always been smart," I grinned.<p>

"Too smart for school?" he asked cockily.  
>I huffed and slammed my drink on the table. This conversation was happening too frequently. "Let me say this one last time; Mockingjay's will sprout feet and cancan around the district before I step through those doors. There is no way in hell I will go to school."<p>

**:-:**

I glared at my reflection in the mirror. I could see Haymitch trying not to laugh behind me. I just ignored his existence, just like I had for the past week. The day after he returned from the Capitol, he marched straight over the the school and enrolled his 'darling daughter who was lonely at home'.

"Why the hell did you enrol me?" I shouted when he told me.  
>"Because you need an education," he said innocently. It was a load of bullshit. There was an alternative motive to why he was sending me to teenage hell, but like everything else is Haymitch's mysterious life, he would never tell me.<p>

"Why do hate school do much?" he asked me after one of my many tantrums. Like everything else in _my_ mysterious life, I would not tell him. Well, not yet anyway.

I rid my naturally straight hair of knots and let it lay loose over my shoulders. After deeming myself respectable, I left the house without another word or look at Haymitch. I knew I was being childish, but he was too; sending me school just for his own amusement. It was cruel!

The walk to District Twelve's school house wasn't very far. I never understood why it was called a house, it was at least double the size of the justice building. It had to big enough to fit the two hundred plus children of twelve. As I rounded the corner I suddenly felt nervous. The dreary building held so many memories, did I really want to go back? No, I didn't but I had to. I couldn't hide forever. I held my head high and strolled over to entrance.

Kids of all ages were running around, pushing their way through the doors, calling to friends, hugging like they hadn't seen each other in years. They looked like a bunch of saps, but I knew after a few weeks here I would be one of them.

I drifted my way through the busy halls until I found the door marked 'main office'. I gave it a sharp _knock_.

"Come in," a voice called. I stepped through the door and found myself in a very small and poky room containing only a desk and another door. A plump woman sat squished behind the desk, she had a very kind smile.

"Hello dear, how can I help you?" she asked. Her grin was infectious and I couldn't help but smile along, my fears about the day lifting away.

"Hello, I'm Emery. Emery... Abernathy," I said, unsure what name to use. Haymitch's was probably best since he had enrolled me. "Today's my first day."

The woman shot up out of her chair and began bustling around the room gathering papers. "Ah yes, it's so great to have you here. I think you'll love it here, it's the best school in the district." _It's the only school in the district_, I added silently. Normally, I would have voiced my words but I couldn't bare to upset this kind woman.

"Now, here is your timetable," she handed me a piece of paper. "Let me find someone to show you to your first class." she moved to the door but then stopped sharply. She smoothed out my t-shirt and told me to pull my jeans up to rid the crinkles. "We don't want to make a bad impression on our first day," she said. She reminded me of a mother hen with all her caring and kindness. It was nice to meet a genuine person, there were very few around and it was nice to know that there was one right here in my definition of hell.

The secretary walked out into the hallway and bobbed her head over crowds of students.

"Ivy," she called, waving her arms wildly. "Please come here." A very pretty blonde girl untangled herself from her group of friends and skipped forward. She wore a baby blue dress and had a daisy pinned to get chest. I hated her already.

"Could you please show our new student to math room fourteen please?"  
>"Sure Mrs Genie," the girl smiled sweetly. I gave my thanks to the secretary and walked out the door with the girl, vowing to be on my best behaviour.<p>

"Hello, I'm Ivy Greengrass," the girl said, her teeth were dazzling. They had to be fake.  
>"Hi, I'm Emery Abernathy," I said, giving her a small smile. I could see her trying to register my name in her eyes.<p>

"Abernathy?" she asked curiously.

"Yes," I said stiffly, knowing very well what was coming. She sensed my tone and didn't press further, smart girl.  
>"Have you every been to school before?" I had to give it to her, she was a good small talker.<p>

"Yes, I came her a few years ago but left when I was ten," I told her.

"Oh," she said, her face triumphant. "You're the girl who had rabies!"  
>"No," I said, staring at her blankly. Her face fell.<p>

As we turned the corner, a group of merchant boys came into view. Ivy giggled and shot them a winning smile. They all nudged each other and hollered at my tour guide.  
>"Now, if you want a boyfriend, those are the only acceptable ones to date," she whispered, once we were out of hearing range. "Baton, Mellark and Raymond are the ones you want," she added with a giggle. "However, Hawthorne's the beef of this school, but you don't go near him."<p>

"Why?" I asked dully. I frankly didn't care, but if her gossiping meant I didn't have to talk about myself, than it was all grand.

Ivy giggled again. "Because he's from the _seem," _she said, as though it was the most scandalous thing in the world. I had no idea who this Hawthorne kid was, but I felt bad that he was being ridiculed just because of his postcode.

I glared at Ivy. "So?"  
>"So what?" she asked, absentmindedly. I stopped and gestured wildly at my olive skin and dark hair. I didn't have the traditional seem eyes, mine were oddly brown, a rarity in twelve, but she seemed to get the message. Her little mouth formed a perfect 'O'. Thankfully, we had arrived room fourteen. I shot her a glare before storming into the room.<p>

Was she really that stupid? Was she do absorbed in her own perfect little world not to realise the color of my hair? It was people like her that caused those stupid rivalries and hatred. I stood in the corner of the classroom reeling in my thoughts until everyone had entered. I sat down in the last available seat, at the very front. Great, this day just keeps getting better and better.

The teacher handed me a quiz to assess my ability. I gulped, I hadn't been to school in years, surely I would be sent to work with the nine year olds. I hastily looked at the paper.

_"Q1. There are x number of coals, y is the number of bags. If the number of coals in a bag is the square root of 5x+3y=144. How many coals per bag?"_

I stared at it in horror. What was it talking about? That was impossible to solve, however a distant memory formed in my brain. It was years ago, my older brother Rhys was doing his math homework. I always enjoyed math so I went to see what he was doing.

The method suddenly clicked in my mind. I scribbled down the answer and continued with the rest of the paper. It wasn't that bad. Quite easy really. After ten minutes I had finished, I awkwardly raised my hand.

"Yes Miss Abernathy, is there a problem?" the teacher asked patronisingly.

"Erm... I'm finished," I said shyly.

His eyes widened. "Finished? But that quiz is timed at one hour. You've barely had ten minutes." He looked quite angry. I shrugged and handed him my work. Ignoring the rest of the class, he took out his pen and marked it. The other students found this hilarious for some reason and giggled constantly.

The further he got down my test, the more red his face got. Was it all wrong? After five minutes he slammed it back down on my desk.

_100%. _I stared at it in shock. How had I gotten full marks. The teacher seemed to be wondering the same thing.

"Well it seems that you are too advanced for this class." I shrunk down in my seat as the students around me giggled and made fun of me. I may have been good at math, but I was a complete disaster at everything else. The teacher took my schedule off me and scribbled out the room number.

"Stay here for today, but tomorrow you shall be in room five with the fifteen to sixteen year olds." I groaned. "Is there a problem?" he asked tartly.  
>"No sir," I mumbled. Could this day get any worse?<p>

I thought not. English went by easily. I sat in the corner by myself and wrote a five hundred word description of my favourite place in district twelve. No one spoke to me; I did not speak to anyone else. All was going fine until the last period before lunch: Gym.

"I don't have a kit," I said smugly to the coach. If there was one thing I hated it was running around a track on a path to nowhere.  
>The coach pointed me to a cupboard in the changing room. "Extras in there," he grunted before slouching away.<p>

I pushed my way through rows of half naked teenagers until I got to the cupboard. It was tiny, and just two uniforms lay crumpled on the floor. One, two sizes to big, the other too small. Should I look like a man or a slut? A man wins every time in my opinion.

I took of my shirt and pants and slotted into the shorts and tshirt. I took two steps but the shorts fell down below my ankles. I kicked them away and put on the slut shorts. The tshirt was thankfully long enough to hide my protruding butt.

I had taken so long getting ready, that when I arrived in the gym, everyone else had already paired off. Oh well, it's not like I knew anyone anyway.  
>I went and stood awkwardly next to the coach while he scanned the room for a partner. There was a lone greasy boy who seemed to have a hobby of staring at girls asses, but I daren't point him out.<p>

A loud laugh broke the coach from his hunt. We turned around and saw a few of the merchant boys pushing each other and dumbly messing about. I recognised them from the crowd Ivy pointed out earlier. The only ones deemed respectable enough to date. Wow, she had appalling taste.

"No, I'm not going to have another lesson of riots. Baton go with Potter. Mellark with new girl," the coach shouted. There was a lot of grumbling before they separated.

The stockiest one gave one last laugh and joke to his friends before coming to join me at the side lines. As he got nearer I noticed him to be the bakers youngest son. I had never spoken to him before, but I had seen him many times icing the cakes behind the counter.

"Hello," he said, giving me a dazzling smile, adjusting the ball in his hands. "So your new girl?"  
>"I prefer just to go by girl," I said, quite peeved at the coaches comment. "Or Emery, whatever floats your boat."<p>

He let out a pleasant laugh. "Nice to meet you girl, I'm Peeta." He threw the ball to me. I just managed to catch it in my finger tips. He had to jump for it when I threw it back. I had terrible coordination.

"Is this all we're doing?" I asked dully. I absolutely hated physical activity. I was more than happy to lie on the sofa all day eating cakes. It was a miracle how I wasn't paralysed with obesity.

Peeta motioned over to the hoops were a few boys were taking turns to shoot. "We can go over there if you want?"  
>"No, no," I said, shaking my head wildly. "This is already way past my limit."<p>

"No very sporty?" he asked.  
>"My idea of physical activity is walking to the fridge for more food."<p>

He laughed again. Peeta was by far my favourite person I had met today. He was not stuck up like the other kids, he was just a generally nice person. We stayed by the side lines lazily throwing the ball for the rest of the period. It was actually quite fun. He taught me some children's playground games that I had missed out on when I was younger. He was very hansom and charming. It was easy to see why so many of the girls were after him.

As we played, I could see Ivy and her group of friends glaring at me. I scoffed.

"What?" Peeta asked.  
>"Nothing," I squeaked. He turned around and laughed.<p>

"What did you do to them? I heard Ivy having one of her little moans earlier," Peeta said with a grin.  
>"Nothing, she was just being a brat about seem kids," I mumbled. I don't know why I was telling him this. He was probably joining in with them.<p>

"Just ignore them, they're just silly girls," he said with a smile. I was so surprised at his answer that I smiled too.

The bell rang signalling lunch time. Peeta put our ball back and invited me to sit next to him and his friends in the cafeteria.

"Thanks but I'm ok," I said, looking over to where Ivy was whispering and laughing, her eyes fixed on Peeta and I. Could she make it more obvious that she was talking about us?  
>"I think I'm sitting with my friend Madge," I continued.<p>

Peeta nodded. "Oh yeah, she normally sits by the far wall with Katniss Everdeen."  
>"Thanks," I said. He knew where she sat, maybe Madge and Peeta were friends too. That would be so convenient.<p>

I said goodbye to Peeta before going into the changing rooms. I threw off my kit and put my own clothes back on. They felt so much more comfortable and homely. I was desperate to get to lunch to see Madge.

I practically ran to the cafeteria. But as I rounded the hallway, I went crashing into someone. His books dropped to floor and his papers scattered around the hall.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry," I said, dropping to the floor to pick them up. I gathered up their books and looked up, my breath hitching in my throat. It was Gale, the boy I had hit at the Hob. His stoney expression told me that he had remembered me.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked again.  
>"Is that all you can say," he said harshly, towering over me. "Why we're you running anyway?"<p>

He was very tall. I only came up to his shoulder. He was very intimidating. "I-I..." began, but no words came out. I, Emery Matilda Hope had been rendered speechless. I just stood there like a potato while he glared down at me.

"What's wrong with you?" a smug smile began to tug at the corners of his mouth. What type of person takes pleasure terrorising a fourteen year old?

Finally regaining my composure, I returned his stupid smile. "Nothing. It's just your ass-bag stench is melting my mind," I said childishly. Really Em, is that the best you can do. He gave me a sceptically confused look, one I was sure I was mirroring. I gave him one last glare before darting off the cafeteria before I could embarress myself further.

Why was I such an idiot? I was usually fine when dealing with people I didn't like. But what was it about Gale that made me look so weird. I vowed that next time I would remain calm and redeem myself somehow.

When I finally got to my destination, lunch was already in full swing. I brought a very questionable sandwich and sat down at Madge's table, right where Peeta said. We talked about my day, but said little more. Katniss wasn't much of a talker but seemed nice enough.

I couldn't get out of the building quick enough when the bell rang after History. I gave a little wave to Madge and Peeta before speed walking home.

Haymitch was already sat at the kitchen table when I arrived back home. I don't think he had moved all day. He gave me a toothy grin.

"How was school?" he practically sang. He was enjoying this way too much.  
>"Shit," I answered simply, not really wanting to sugarcoat it. He cackled.<p>

"What happened?" he asked, unusually sympathetic. I sat down next to him and told him all about my horrific day. He laughed at my misfortune, especially the part about me running into Gale. By the end of our talk, I actually felt quite relieved and was laughing along with him. Only an extremely unlucky person like me could bump into their worst enemy in building the size of the school.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt a little better about the whole school thing. Sure, I would have rather stayed at home, but at least I had Peeta and Madge in my classes.

The only thing that was worrying me was Math. Today would be when I started with the fifteen to sixteen year olds. _Yay_. I didn't know what sounded more appealing this or a gossip session with Ivy.

When I arrived at school, I went straight to the room that the teacher had wrote on my schedule yesterday. I was upset to see that the seating was in pairs. That meant I would have to make conversation. On the upside though, the teacher seemed a lot nicer than the one I had the day before.

"My names Miss Coil," she said kindly patting me on the back. "If you would take a seat next to Hawthorne at the back then we'll begin." _Hawthorne_! The 'beefcake' Ivy was talking about yesterday. I looked to back and saw Gale sitting at the desk with the only spare seat. He was Hawthorne? I would have to sit next to him for the entire year and partner him in projects. The fates hated me.

Remembering my vow to appear calm and cool, I slowly walked down the isle of sniggering students to my seat. I was almost there when my foot tangled in the strap of my bag. I trip over and hit my head of the side of the table.

I sat up quickly hoping that no one had noticed, but if cause they all had. Even the teacher was trying to repress her laugh. I blushed and sat down, slamming my bag on to the floor.

"Smooth," Gale whispered in my ear, his breath tickling my neck. I hated him even more.

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><p><strong>Hi, sorry the endings a little rushed. I really wanted to get this up today. Hopefully the next chapter will be up thursday. That one will probably be the last happybonding one before all the drama starts.**

**Thanks so much for all the reviews: _Prettylittleliar, stayingalive223, queenmary, gottalovetigger _(you guessed a part of this chapter haha : ) _SilensFlos, God1801 and lolamellark123._**

**Thanks so much for reading let me know what you think.**

**E L E C T R I C B L U E M O N K E Y**


	4. The First Vow

C H A P T E R T H R E E

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><p>I saw a friend of mine the other day,<br>and he told me that my eyes were gleamin'.  
>Oh I said I had been away, and he knew,<br>oh he knew the depths I was meanin'.  
>And it felt so good to see his face,<br>or the comfort invested in my soul.  
>Keep your head up, keep your heart strong. keep your mind set in your ways.<br>'Cause I'll always remember you the same,  
>oh eyes like wild flowers, with your demons of change.<br>_- Keep your head up, Ben Howard_

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><p>For the entire period, Gale never spoke to me. He didn't even look at me. Not like I was complaining. I usually leant away from him with my head on my hand, nervously twisting the stud in my ear. We faced the opposite direction of each other, not even communicating during group work. The teacher must have known something was up. She asked me after a week after I joined the class if I was happy.<p>

I smiled and told her yes, everything was fine. It wasn't though. No one accepted me. I was the weird girl. The girl who could solve any equation, but could barely write a paragraph. I was also resented because of my 'father'. If I did not eat my peas at dinner I was being snobbish. If I did not play hockey, I was too high and mighty to share a field with them. I did not know how Madge stood for it. It made sense to me now why she was so withdrawn. For her whole life she had been ridiculed for who her father was. I wanted to scream at these stupid kids, but I knew it would just explode back in my face.

Surprisingly, my saving grace came in the form of a blond baker. Excluding Madge, Peeta was the only person who spoke to me for a conversation, not to give insult. He was my permanent partner in gym, something his friends were very peeved about.

"Don't they mind?" I asked, one day in May.  
>"Sure they do. But I spend all day with them, this is the only chance I get with my favourite girl," he grinned cornily.<p>

"Oh stop it Peeta, you're making me blush," I swooned and fanned myself like ridiculous old women did.

We were constantly messing around and flirting. I had been asked a countless number of times if there was something going on between us, even Haymitch had asked if I had 'shacked up with the bakers boy' but he was my friend. One of two. He was more like my brother really. And as reaping day approached I began to get quite worried for my new buddies. Ok, so we weren't in the reaping bowl as much as some people but the odds were never in your favour.

On the morning of the reaping I got up extra early to do my hair and make-up. If I were to appear across all of Panam, I wanted to look presentable and not let Haymitch down.

He was already awake when I came downstairs. And no surprise, he was drunk. He stood at the counter, trying to shove a bottle of _Crape's finest_ into his holdall.

"Good morning," I said, dully.

"What's so good about it?" he mumbled, chucking out a pair of shoes. They came flying at me and I had to duck. He was too drunk to notice.

"Aww, what's up Haymitch? Heartbroken over the idea of us being separated for a month?"  
>He shot me a filthy glare. "I'd rather have you here than on a train with me to the Capitol."<p>

I guiltily looked down. He was in bad spirits today, as expected, maybe I should be kinder. When I didn't reply, an awkward silence fell upon us. All that could be heard was Haymitch's rustling and swearing.

"I'm going into town," I announced, putting on my boots. "Do you want anything? What are you wearing later?"  
>He gestured down to his tatty shirt. "This."<p>

I rolled my eyes. "I'll see what I can do."

The walk to town was dull. Despite being a sunny day, a dark cloud of gloom settled over the district. Their were no children out playing games, no sellers gossip. The streets were almost bare. The few people that I passed gave me sympathetic looks, but there was a feeling of 'better you than me' around. Not that I blamed them. I felt the same way.

I went to the tailors first and picked up a tie for Haymitch. I had a riffle through a rail of blazers but did not know his size. He wasn't too big. Probably about a medium. If it was wrong I could always return it, or force him into it. Anything was better than the rags he was wearing. After I had paid for the dark grey ensemble, I went to the bakers.

Like all the other stores it was empty. Well, empty except for my blue eyed friend behind the counter. I couldn't help but smile when I saw him.

"Hello, you're looking very pretty today," he said. A small blush tinged my cheeks.  
>"Wait until you see my dress. It looks like a pastry," I said honestly. It was awful. But Haymitch insisted on wasting the Capitol's money on it.<p>

"A pastry? Sounds right up my street," Peeta laughed. I laughed along too, but then my expression turned somber.

"How are you feeling today?" I asked softly.

He shrugged. "I don't know. Tiger is pretty rough though. It's his last year and he's in that bowl a lot."

A customer came in behind me and began speaking to Peeta's dad.

"How many times are you in there?" I whispered.  
>He looked down then over to his dad who had gone into the back room. "Six," he mumbled.<p>

My eyes widened. "Six!" It wasn't as much as some people, but it was still twice more than me. "Oh Peeta." It was all I could see. My stomach began to churn in fear for my new friend.

"How many times are you in?" he asked.  
>I looked down. "Three," I mumbled. "I feel really guilty for worrying though. I just have this awful feeling. Haymitch has made me really paranoid."<p>

I heard an annoyed grunt from behind me. We turned around and saw Gale Hawthorne glaring behind us. Was that the only expression he had?

"Don't let me disturb your conversation," he said sweetly.  
>"No please," I said, gesturing wildly with my hands. "You obviously have something to say. Enlighten us."<p>

"No, I don't want to worry you even further. Since your names in the reaping bowl so many times," he sneered.

"Oh is poor little Gale the only person allowed to be worried," I asked with a mocking pout.

"Well apologises princess but my name is in there thirty times. I suspect you never had to take in tesserae out? You wouldn't know suffering if it hit you on the head with one of your shopping bags." He looked at me with such loathing that I was taken back.

Peeta's father came rushing back in at the sound of the shouting. "Is everything ok?"

Gale gave a curt nod before turning to go out the door. I looked down and saw the little 'sale clearance' tag sticking out of the bag of Haymitch's clothes. Gale knew nothing about me. Nothing. Everything I had been through, all my troubles. Everything I had tried so hard to shut away, conceal from others including myself. I don't know why, but the blood red tag made me snap.

"You don't know anything," I spat. Gale stopped at the door and turned to face me. "you think my life's perfect? So I wasn't suffering when my dad died in a mining accident. I wasn't suffering when my brother was reaped for the games." I stopped and paused, I hadn't spoke about that in years. Tears stung my eyes, but I had opened a can of worms and the words flowed out my mouth as though I had no control over them.

"I didn't suffer when he died, I didn't suffer when my mother hung herself in sorrow. Or when we were made homeless or when my sister died then my brother. And I was completely fine when I was dying on the streets in starvation," I was well aware that I was shouting now. The tears were rolling fast and fierce down my cheeks. I didn't wipe them away, I just let them go.

Gale, Peeta and Mr Mellark all stared at me in shock as I grabbed my bags and made a beeline for the door.

I stopped next to Gale and looked up to him. I had never felt so small. "You think my life is perfect? Please think next time you speak," I whispered, my voice completely broken. I blinked the tears out my eyes and tried to perk up a bit.

"Good luck at the reaping guys." I gave Peeta a small smile before leaving the bakery.

As I walked down the streets, an unnerving smile formed on my lips and the more I walked, the larger it got, eventually turning into a wide grin.

I felt free, my chest felt lighter. The hate I had for the world had disappeared from my stomach. I had been carrying the pain of my past inside me for years, telling no one, just bottling it up inside until it was erased from my memory. But now I had finally accepted what had happened, admitted the pain and set it free. It felt amazing. _And_ I got to teach Gale a lesson. The scoreboard was now two-two, neck and neck; I was determined to beat him.

I practically skipped back to the victors village. Haymitch had given up packing and took to carving patterns on the dining table with his knife.

"Hello," I said brightly. His head snapped up.

"Why are you so happy?" he asked suspiciously.

I shrugged and handed him the bags. "I've got you a present!"

He took out the suit and held it up against him. I was glad to see that it was his size. He grunted a thanks and then shoved it back in the bag. I took it back off him and smoothed the clothes out.

"It'll crease if you do that," I said, folding them smartly. "How will you cope without me?"

"Same as I always do," he grumbled. I looked at him sadly before going up to my room to reapply my makeup which had been completely washed away by my tears.

As I worked, I thought about Haymitch. He was the one nagging pain in my chest that I couldn't rid. I was constantly worried about what he would do next. It was like having a small child. I knew he was worried about the games; I understood that. But there was no need to drink himself into an early grave.

He had to live a long happily life. Not because it would benefit me, but because he deserved it.

After I had sorted out my face, I put on my puffy beige dress. It had a tight lace bodice then puffed out at the waist. It wasn't that bad to be honest. But it was more Capitol wedding than District 12 reaping. There was a matching lace butterfly barrette that I clipped into my hair. I placed on a pair of flats and went downstairs to find Haymitch waiting for me at the bottom of the steps. He was wearing the suit I brought him earlier. My face broke into a smile.

"You're looking sharp," I grinned, straightening out his tie.

"You look beautiful," he said softly. A cloud of emotion appeared on his face and then disappeared as quickly as it came. He cleared his throat. "We should get going," he mumbled.

We walked through the streets in silence. All though they were filled with people, barely a sound was made. The only noise came from a group of old men betting on who would be reaped. It sickened me.

When we neared the stage Haymitch stopped and put a hand on my shoulder. "Good luck," he mumbled before taking his seat on the stage. I had the feeling he wanted to say more, but with the crowd around us, he never did.

I pushed my way through the crowds and stood with the other fourteen year old girls. A few glared at my ostentatious dress, but I did my best to ignore them.

I found Madge standing solemnly near the front. I gave her a reassuring smile but we did not speak. After a few minutes the district twelve escort, Effie Trinket, stood on the podium and gave the same dreary speech she did every year. Our ancestors rebelled, so we were punished with the games. Not that I blamed them. If the opportunity was there, I would rebel. But I knew the chance would never come; not in my lifetime anyway.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I barely noticed when Effie moved over to the reaping bowls.

"Ladies first," she announced in her annoying capitol accent. My heart began to beat crazily, I could feel my face hotting up. _Please don't be me, please don't be Madge_, I silently begged. My stomach churned; I was going to be sick.

Effie dipped her hand into the bowl and pulled out a little white slip. I held my breath.

"And our female tribute is... Ivy Greengrass."

I let out a small breath of relief before I realised. Ivy Greengrass, the girl who showed me around on my first day. Madge and I looked at each other with wide eyes before searching for Ivy. We didn't have to look far. She stood in the row in front of us, frozen to the floor. There was a seconds silence before she let out a pained cry. She sobbed wildly as the peacekeepers dragged her up to the stage. It was really uncomfortable to watch. I never liked Ivy. She was rude, gossipy and one of the many people who mocked me at school. She was the one who started the rumour about Peeta and I. However although Ivy was cruel, I still felt sorry for her.

Completely ignoring Ivy, Effie walked over to the boys reaping bowl. My leg began to jangle and shake in worry for Peeta.

"Oakham Mead," Effie called. I knew that name. But I couldn't think where. A boy from the sixteen year old section strolled through the crowd. I knew his face too. He was from the seam and looked very skinny. The poor guy wont last five minutes. As he walked up to the stage, he held his head high. I could see the fear in his eyes, but he was holding it together. Probably so the district didn't look even more ridiculous. Ivy was still sobbing as she was dragged off the stage and into the justice building.

Madge and I stayed together as the crowd dispersed. We looked around for Peeta, but all I could think about was Oakham. I knew him, but I place him.

Peeta suddenly appeared and put an arm around each of us. "We're safe for another year," he said happily. "Feel quite bad for Ivy though."

Madge nodded along. None of us liked her, but it was always hard when someone you knew was reaped.

"How are you doing?" Peeta whispered in my ear.  
>"I'm fine, please just forget it. Do any of you guys know Oakham?" I asked.<p>

They both shrugged. "I've seen him a few times around school," Madge said quietly. "But he's from the seam keeps to himself."

The seam. A memory from my childhood popped into my mind.

_I was five years old and I was playing on the track outside my house. My neighbour 'Hammy' was with me. We threw an old deflated ball back an forth.  
><em>_"Emmy," Ham called. "Do you want to go into the woods?"_

_My eyes widened. "Don't go into the woods. The peacekeepers will take you away."  
><em>_He scoffed. "You're such a baby!"_

_"I am not!" I cried stamping my foot.  
><em>_He threw the ball back to me. "Fine, I'll go with someone else."_

_He shot me a condescending smirk before running to his friend from schools house up the road. _

_"I'm telling my mommy," I shouted before going back inside.  
><em>_Our friendship kind of dissolved from there, but I still saw Oakham everyday until my mother died and we were thrown out. _

"I know him," I whispered before taking off into the justice building. I ignored their calls and ran through the doors, praying that I wasn't too late.

Oakham had no one if I remembered right. His mother had died during childbirth and his father had been paralysed in a mining accident and lived in a mental institute. I had to go see him. He had to know that there was one person out there who cared.

One of the younger peacekeepers, Darius I think, who hung out at the hob, stood lazily in the hallway.

"Hammy - which room is he in?" I asked breathlessly.  
>"Who?"<p>

"Oakham!" I practically shouted.  
>"Alright no need to shout," Darius scolded, but he had an annoying smile on his face. "He's in room five." he pointed down the hallway.<p>

I ran to the door and knocked lightly.

"Yeah?" a strained voice called out. I reluctantly opened the door, wondering why I even bothered. I hadn't seen him in years; he had no idea who I was.

He was standing my the window his eyes puffy. I have him a reassuring smile.

"Hi, you probably don't remember me," I said quietly. "We used to live next door to each other when we were little. I'm -"

"Emery Hope," he whispered. He strode across the room and engulfed me in a hug. I returned it, squeezing him tightly. It didn't matter that we hardly knew each other. Oakham just need someone to be therefore him.

"I thought you were dead," he mumbled into my hair. He pulled back and gave me a weary smile. "But obviously you've found money." he gestured to my dress. "You look good. You're eyes seem brighter. You look happy."  
>"I am," I whispered, a genuine smile forming on my face.<p>

"And what about you? Ugh, I can't believe it took until the reaping for Ham and Em to be reunited again," I said. A tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek. He wiped it away and gave me a watery smile. We stood in silence until Darius knocked on the door.

"Time to go," he said, holding the door open for us. Haymitch was standing at the end of the hallway, eyeing me suspiciously. I took Oakham's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Oh, do you have a district token?" I asked, suddenly remembering the important hope of home that the tributes were allowed in the arena.

He shook his head. "No, only my friend came before you and he didn't have anything."

I rummaged around thoughtfully and pulled out the lace barrette from my hair. "Sorry it's all I have. But I can guarantee you'll be the best accessorised tribute in the arena."

He let out a small laugh before hugging me again. "Thanks, I'll miss you Emmy."

"Hey, keep your head up. We'll see each other again Hammy."

He gave me a small unconvinced smile. I leant up on my tip toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek before someone grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me away.

"Sorry," Darius whispered in my ear. "Have to act tough when the cameras are here." I had no idea who this guy was but I decided I like him. He deposited me at the door next to Haymitch.

"You know him," he asked, pointed to Oakham who was being guided to the back door with a quivering Ivy at his side.

"I knew him when I was little," I said quietly. "He's really fast. And he always won at hide and seek. But try and get him to bulk up a bit, he's skin and bones. And Ivy, she can charm anyone. Try and get her to make allies, she'd never survive on her own."

Haymitch gave me an unusual smile. "Maybe you should be mentor."

"Hopefully I'll never have to be." Tears began to sting my eyes.

For the first time, Haymitch hugged me first. I snuggled into his chest and took in the familiar smell of liquor and wood. I don't know why, but he always smelt like he had been rolling around in the trees.

"Stay safe." he kissed the top of my head before walking to the car, leaving me alone for the next month. Three had left, but I prayed that two would return. However, the odds were slim and I would probably never see my little Hammy again.

Two years ago I stood in this very spot at watched Rhys go. I wondered how many others had watched their loved ones go; watched them die. I also wondered how many we're like Oakham; alone and forgotten forever. Just another discarded pawn in the Capitol's game for fun.

My stomach boiled as I thought of them living in their large houses, eating all the food they wanted, buying everything they wanted. But then I realised: that was me.

I vowed to change, to help my district. To make sure that no one else would die in vain. I vowed that one day we would be free again. I don't know how to do it, but the Capitol would be overthrown. And soon.

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><p><strong>Hello, sorry I said it would be up by Thursday, but this chapter was really difficult to write. I'm not too pleased with it, but the next one will be better. I'm also sorry that time seems to be shifting fast, but the first five chapters or so are introductions before the real action starts.<strong>

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed: _QueenMary, StayingAlive223, God1801, lolamellark123, SilensFlos, PrettyLittleLiar and GothGirl69 _(Who reviewed X3 : )**

**Thanks for reading, let me know what you think.**


	5. The Truce

C H A P T E R F O U R

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><p>And if we should meet one another in passing<br>Despite these techniques there is sometimes no avoiding  
>We'll raise high our white flags and say hi and shake hands<br>-_ Truce, Dresden Dolls_

* * *

><p>I spent the night alone. As soon as I left the Justice Building, I raced back home and cried. I changed out my dress and into some sweats before falling asleep on the couch with a knife by my side. Being alone in this big house scared me, and although it was weird, the knife gave me comfort. Like Haymitch was here through the paranoia he had given me... I was really starting to lose it.<p>

I lay on the couch for the entire weekend only moving for bathroom breaks and to get food. I stayed in silence mostly but the mandatory viewing of the opening ceremony on Friday night forced me to take a break from my solitude. As usual, District 12 were the least inspiring Districts. The stylists had resorted back to making the tributes go naked, covering them only in black paint that was supposed to resemble coal dust. Ivy looked like she hadn't stopped crying in days and Oakham looked deflected; like he had completely given up hope. I wished there was someway for me to contact them and tell them to perk up. No one would sponsor them if they looked so miserable. But alas, Haymitch had torn the phone out of its socket years ago so my advise was useless.

On Monday morning, I got up early to take a shower and rid myself of my couch potato stench. I was dreading going to school. I would have to face Peeta and Gale. Although I was happy about getting things off my chest, I was pretty mortified how I handled the situation. Screaming your problems out in the middle of the bakers didn't really give you any self respect.

I threw on a pair of ripped jeans and polo shirt before tying my hair in a top knot and walking to school. It wasn't a long walk but there were not many distractions so it gave me more time to think. About? I don't know. But I had spent the weekend so lost in thought and fantasy that it felt weird to see human interaction.

I dodged people in the hallways and made my way to math unnoticed; one of the many advantages of being invisible. Gale was thankfully not here yet. He didn't actually turn up until ten minutes into the lesson. Miss Coil was halfway through her explanation on probability when he came racing through the door, his face bright red from running.

"Sorry I'm late mam," he panted, weaving his way through the isles to our table at the back.  
>"Thank you for finally joining us Mr Hawthorne," she scolded. "I'll see you at the end."<p>

Gale nodded curtly and took out his notes. He tried to copy from the board, but was too far behind. I sighed and pushed my notes towards him so he could get the work down. I could see him eyeing me curiously, but I refused to look at him.

For the first time in months he did not glare at me. Throughout the lesson he tried to catch my eye but I avoided him successfully. I knew exactly what he wanted to talk about. I did not want his pity or his sneers. I just wanted to forget about the whole thing.

When the bell rang, I gathered my things and practically ran out the room. I don't know why, I had English next period. I always felt like such an idiot in those lessons. Today we had to write a description of a piece of coal. I never thought I'd be happy to get to gym.

I changed quickly and was the first girl to arrive. All the boys were gathered in a huddle, talking boisterously among themselves. I could see Peeta standing in the middle of the group; he saw me looking and beckoned me over. I shook my head.

"Em!" he called again. All thirteen boys turned to stare at me. I walked over and stood next to Peeta. They all continued to stare in silence.  
>I looked down. "Well this isn't awkward," I said loudly.<p>

"And by saying its awkward, you've just made it even more awkward," Peeta muttered. I narrowed my eyes at him. He got me into this mess, he was supposed to be on my side.

"Not necessarily," I answered smartly. "By saying that it was awkward, it's made us talk, therefore making it less awkward. I know what I'm doing," I added smugly.  
>There was a pregnant pause before a few of the boys laughed. Peeta smiled.<p>

"So where did you disappear to after the reaping?" he asked.

"That's none of your business," I said. But translated that meant: _I'm not going to tell you here in a circle of strangers._ He nodded.

"Hey, you don't mind if Peeta's my partner today do you?" a boy asked. I recognised him as one of Peeta's good friends. Well, not too good. He was always in his circle, but I didn't know his name.

"No sorry," I said with a sweet smirk. "He's all mine." There was a few wolf whistles while Peeta blushed. "Not like that; oh why do you always have to twist everything?"

"Because it's fun," a small boy giggled. He was definately not old enough to be in his class.

I wanted to give a cutting remark but the coach came in the room and told us all to huddle up.  
>"Dodgeball," he said as soon as we had all gathered. The boys cheered while the girls groaned. I stood there dumbfounded.<p>

"What's dodgeball?" I whispered to Peeta.  
>He let out a small gasp. "You don't know what dodgeball is?"<p>

"I'm guessing you have to dodge a ball?" I asked stupidly.  
>"Well basically you have-"<p>

"Ok, boys on the right, girls on the left," coach cut in.  
>"Sorry Em, guess you'll have to learn the hard way," he laughed.<p>

I glared at him before standing with the simpering giggling girls. The boys all huddled at the other side of the net while I stood alone trying to figure out the rules.

The balls were balls lined up in the middle. Did coach use a net to catapult them to us? What was the objective of the game?

"Ok go!" Coach said suddenly. I did not have time to ponder. Everyone ran into the centre and faught over the balls. Oh dear. The little boy who spoke to me earlier picked up a ball and sent it hurdling towards me. It smacked off my face and bounced back to him hard.

"Hey!" I shouted.

"Abernathy out," coach called.  
>"Coach, he just threw a ball in my face!" I whined.<p>

He stared at me like I had gone insane. "That's the rules of the game. Now sit down on the sidelines."

I stomped over to the benches and watched the game carefully. Get people out, but don't get hit. The people who were dodging seemed to be doing better than the brash ones throwing the balls. It seemed to be easy enough.

Peeta was not very fast so was out quite early in the game. After the annoying boy who hit me in the face led the boys to victory, we were all invited back on to play again. This kid was going to pay.

Once the balls were laid out, I crouched down ready to pounce. I could see Peeta eyeing me suspiciously. Normally I did not care for sport, but there was an exception for everything when revenge came into play.

Coach counted down this time. As soon as he blew the whistle I sprinted to the centre and had a ball in hand before the others were halfway across the gym. I took my aim and threw it straight in the annoying boys unsuspecting face. It hit him hard, causing him to stagger back.

"Bush, out!" Coach called, a hint of amusement in his voice. I did not waste too much time on the boy, I took another ball and scanned the room for my next prey: Peeta's teasing friend.

I was unforgiving. It was like a strange force had taken over me as I weaved in and out, throwing the balls at anyone who dared look at me. I didn't know I had it in me. I was extremely unfit and panting after a few minutes, but I powered through. I don't know why but I felt like I had to win. I had unintentionally gone into the place inside me that I felt no shame. The last time I was there was when I was standing on Haymitch's doorstep begging for him to let me in.

After five minutes, we had taken out the whole team. They sat on the sidelines, staring dumbfounded with their mouths open. My cheeks tinged red as I began to return to my senses.

"Girls win!" Coach called. "Now go get changed."

The girls began jumping up and down squeezing, dragging me into their huddle.

"We never win!" Delly Cartwright squealed happily. I nodded along and then detached myself from the group. Woo-who, we won. What was the big deal? I got dressed quickly and raced out the door to find Peeta waiting for me.

"Oh Hello," I smiled.

"You were a monster out there," he grinned. I scowled. "But it seems to have lifted your spirits."

I was about to protest, but then I realised it was true; I had been a bitch all morning but Gym had really helped me to get my mind off things after a weekend of wallowing in self pity.

"So, do I get to know where you disappeared to on Thursday?" Peeta asked.  
>"You're very nosy, do you ever shut up," I was joking, but there was a serious undertone to my voice.<p>

His sweet blue eyes twinkled. "I'll go away when you ask me to."

I didn't want him to go though. I loved having Peeta around. He was my best friend, probably even more so than Madge. Don't get me wrong, I loved her. But Peeta and I were very similar; he really understood me. Even more than I did myself sometimes.

I smiled at him and sighed in defeat. "I went to see Oakham. I knew him as a kid."  
>His joking expression softened. "Oh, I'm sorry. How are you doing?"<p>

"Ok now I guess. But tomorrow will be hard when the games start."  
>He nodding understandingly. "Does it bring up bad memories about your..."<p>

I nodded. "I think the best thing to do though is just to stay away from a TV and forget the whole thing. But damn mandatory viewing makes that impossible."

We had reached the cafeteria. We walked over to the lunch ladies and picked up the dirty mental trays.

"I had no idea about your brother. I'm so sorry. What games was it?"  
>I hesitated. I wasn't too comfortable talking about my feelings, but it seemed to help.<p>

"Two years ago. The 70th. The boy from district 2 went insane. Decapitated and tortured him. Then the boy from 4 tried to help. He ended up the same way," I muttered, my eyes brimming with tears. As I stared into the distance I could see it all unfolding again. "They showed it live in school. This place holds too many memories. It's why I never wanted to come back."

I looked up when he put his hand on mine.

"You don't have to talk about it you know," he said softly.  
>I shrugged. "It's probably not the best lunchtime conversation," I laughed weakly, trying to lighten the mood.<p>

I waved goodbye, but he followed me across the room to my table. "You're sitting with me?"

"Why not. It's more fun than talking about soccer," he shrugged.  
>"Wow Peeta, you really know how to charm a girl."<p>

He laughed loudly and sat down beside me. Katniss and Madge were already seated. Her eyes lit up.

"Are you sitting with us today?" Madge grinned.  
>"If that's ok," Peeta said, becoming suddenly shy. "Hello, I'm Peeta," he said to Katniss.<p>

"I know," she muttered, barely lifting up her head. "I'm Katniss." Wow, I think that's the most she's ever said!

It was great having Peeta sit with us. His friends weren't happy, but I was, so I didn't care. It was quite sweet how he tried to get Katniss to join in, but she wasn't much of a talker, so he just let her be. The four of us walked to History together. It was dull as usual. The bell that signalled the end of the day was heaven.

"So does anyone want to come to mine to keep me company?" I asked as we packed away.  
>"Sorry I can't. I have a piano lesson and then I have to watch the interviews in the square," Madge said guiltily.<p>

"Peeta?" My voice was hopeful, but I knew he couldn't.

"Working," he said, holding up his hands.  
>"You suck," I moaned as we walked out the class. By the corner Katniss and Gale looked like they were having a heated discussion. I held my head down and tried to sneak past them.<p>

"Please Katniss, just take them straight home," he asked loudly.  
>"Fine, but you better a get a move on. You've just missed her," she said stiffly.<p>

"What, oh Emery!" Gale called.

I froze. What did he want with me? I nervously turned around. "Erm... Yeah," I said, feeling very shy all of a sudden.

"Could I talk to you," he said awkwardly. "We could talk while you walk home?"

I stared at him in shock. What could he possibly have to say to me that couldn't be said in public? My ok-ish day was quickly sinking.

"Ok," I said awkwardly. Katniss was glaring at me, Madge looked as though someone had killed a lamb right in front of her and Peeta was in guard dog position. It wouldn't surprise me if he followed us. I gave him a small smile before pushing my way through the crowds, but Peeta grabbed my hand and pulled me back.

"Are you sure this is safe?" he whispered. I rolled my eyes are turned to Gale.  
>"Do you want to kill me?" I asked innocently.<p>

"What? No," he said, looking quite scared.

I shot Peeta a smug look. "I'll be fine. But if I'm not in school tomorrow, call the cavalry." It was so funny seeing the normally calm baker in such a state. I weaved my way through the halls with Gale on my heels until we were outside. He followed me out the gates then walked beside me.

"Ashamed of me or something?" I asked with a grin.  
>"No," he said harshly, looking down. "I was just-"<p>

"I was joking," I said dully. There I was trying to be friendly, and he just slammed it back in my face. "So, I'm guessing you're not here for my comedy routine?" I snapped, getting to the point. The sooner I could get rid of him the better.

"Erm... W-well," he stuttered. "It's about what you said the other day, in the bakery. I wanted to apologise."

"For what?" I asked awkwardly, suddenly finding the path we were walking along very interesting.  
>"How I just jumped to conclu- Ok this is really awkward for me." he stopped walking.<p>

"Imagine being me," I muttered. I turned around and walked back toward him. "I really don't get what you're apologising for."  
>"For being so hard on you," he said, expasterated.<p>

"You were only hard on me because I was hard on you, Because you were mean to me, because I hit you in your Yankee doodles because you insulted Haymitch," I babbled. He stared at me like I had grown five heads. Well, it made sense in my mind.

"Yankee Doodle?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips.

I rolled my eyes. "Is that all you picked up from my little peace offering."

"That was a peace offering?" he smiled and began walking again. This guy had serious mood swing issues.

"Well it was more of a compromise. Our little war was no ones fault and we forget about the whole thing," I said. Usually, I was not so keen to forgive and forget, but I had so many problems and there was no need to be caught up in an unnessisary argument.

"So are we friends then?" Gale asked, his face screwed up in confusion.

"I wouldn't go that far. More like not enemies. Or how about just math partners?" I offered. I held out my hand.  
>"Math partners," he said, shaking it.<p>

I thought he'd go back home but he didn't. He continued to walk with me in silence as though he was thinking hard.

I took him down the short cut path that was filled with trees and flower bushes. Being spring, it was beautiful and everything was in bloom. I thought he'd might like it since he was into all that hunting and nature stuff.

As we walked through I could see him smiling slightly, taking in the beautiful surroundings. While he was looking away, I studied him. Although it pained me to say it, he was very good looking. I could see why all the merchant girls made such a fuss about him. But he was way too tall though. I was a good inch shorter than his shoulder. However his height had shaded me from the hot sun so it wasn't all bad.

"Can I take one of these," Gale asked, breaking me from my trance. I blushed slightly and hoped he hadn't noticed.  
>"One of what?" He pointed to a rose bush. "Yeah I guess so, just don't hurt yourself on the thorns."<p>

He rolled his eyes and expertly tore away a small white rose. His hands were so filthy and scared, yet there was something quite delicate about the way he moved the bud. "For my sister Posy. She loves flowers."

"She would have to with a name like Posy," I joked. He shot me a glare. "I didn't mean anything bad by it," I back peddled quickly. Ruining our truce ten seconds after it was made wouldn't be good. "It's just that everyone around here has flowery nature names. Posy, Katniss, Ivy, Gale. I feel left out," I said with a smile.

"I'm sure you won't loose too much sleep over it," he said simply. Ugh, why did he have to crush any topic of conversation I started. If he wanted it to be awkward, then fine, I would not speak.

However, while it was uncomfortable for me, Gale seemed fine. He looked around the path with interest, taking in every little plant and twig.

"It's a shame not many people know this is here," he said after a while.  
>"I think I'm the only one," I said honestly. "And now you of course. Haymitch always uses the main road into town."<p>

We were almost at the victors village. The wall of one of the houses replaced the foliage as we neared the end of the path. I squeezed my way through the bush and held it open for Gale to follow.

The bush opened up into the middle of the victors village where the lawn and fountain was. Gale let out a small whistle.

"It's disgusting isn't it?" I said dully. "Twelve huge houses enough to hold eight. One is occupied."

It really did make me sick. People were homeless and these houses were left empty in case a government official decided to come and visit. _Because district twelve is such a great tourist spot._ I thought bitterly.

"Well that's the Capitol for you," Gale said brazenly. "As long as they're getting the coal, all is fine."

I looked around, half expecting peace keepers to jump out at us. "You really shouldn't speak like that; not around here," I muttered. Haymitch thought that the place had been bugged, it was one of the few things we agreed on. The place wasn't safe from the Capitol, no where was.

Gale rolled his eyes but said no more. "Which ones yours?" he asked.  
>"That one," I said, pointing to the house on the end. Despite being occupied, it looked as vacant and full as the others. "Do you want to come in for a drink?"<p>

He shook his head. "No, best get back. See you around."

He gave me a small wave before trudging through the bushes. Part of me thought I had imagined the whole thing. One moment he was there and the next he wasn't. He hated me, but still offered a truce. Did I hate him? No. I still disliked him though... I think.

But The only thing I was certain about was that Gale was the most confusing person that I ever met.

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><p><strong>So sorry it took me so long to update. This was originally part of a huge chapter, but it was way too long so I cut it off. But the good news is that I've almost finished the next chapter so it'll be up soon. I know i said more would happen in this chapter, but i was talking about the bit that happens in the next chapter; i promise it wont disappoint.<br>Thanks to everyone who has reviewed _Mocking Verse, Butterfly in the Sky, Littleanjel, StayingAlive223, SilensFlos, God1801, lolamellark123 _and _Silents-in-the-library._**

**Thanks so much for reading, let me know what you think : )**


	6. The Invitation

C H A P T E R F I V E

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><p>So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light<br>Cause oh that gave me such a fright  
>But I will hold on as long as you like<br>Just promise me that we'll be alright

But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view  
>And we'll live a long life<br>- Ghosts That We Knew, Mumford and Sons

I froze as the old TV was wheeled into Gym. The games were due to start in the next few minutes and it was compulsory that we watched.  
>The interviews last night were dull to say the least. Unfortunately, both Ivy and Oakham were extremely uninteresting and if I didn't know them personally, I would have sure forgotten them.<p>

I was sitting next to Peeta, my chin resting on my knees; my arms cuddling my legs. Everything was silent. Ivy was one of us, she used to be in this class. And now she was about to fight to the death while the entire country watched her live. Sure, not many people liked her. But the Hunger Games was not a fate you would wish on your worst enemy.

The tv flickered on and Claudius Templeman's voice boomed around us. "Good morning and happy Hunger Games. In just under five minutes the 72nd Hunger Games will begin but first let us recap the tributes journey so far..."

There were clips from the opening ceremonies and interviews while Claudius recapped the training scores. He also threw praises at the favourites. District twelve got exactly 3.5 seconds of screen time. I counted.  
>"Ok, the tributes are ready for launch."<p>

We watched as the tributes rose into the arena. It was like a desert. Sand on sand for as far as I could see. The only difference was the giant cornucopia that over flowed with weapons and supplies. It looked like a difficult arena. Most the tributes would die of dehydration before the week was up.

The countdown began. "60, 59. 58..."  
>I could see Ivy she looked worn, but there was a spark of determination in her eye.<br>"52, 51, 50..."

Oakham stood furthest away from the camera, he only had one close up shot. I was distraught to see how defeated he look. The look in his eyes scared me. It was though he had already lost and there was no point in trying.

"37, 36..."  
>Please Oakham. Don't give up, I silently begged. Come home.<p>

"25, 24..."  
>The tributes began to crouch into running position, ready to launch themselves of the plate.<p>

"10, 9, 8..."  
>I couldn't look, I squinted my eyes shut but the booming count down still rang throughout my ears.<p>

"3, 2, 1."

I couldn't help myself. I opened my eyes as they lept off their podiums. My eyes tried to keep tabs on Ivy and Oakham but it was complete madness.  
>They all sprinted to the cornucopia, fighting over weapons and supplies. The girl from ten and the boy from three got into a fight over a backpack. He sliced her neck open with a knife. The first cannon boomed.<br>I could barely make anything out, it was all moving so fast.

"There's Ivy!" an eagle eyed girl said. I squinted and saw Ivy's blonde hair flash across the screen. She had managed to acquire a sword and was defending herself against the girl from two. Anyone could see she was a novice fighter, but she was putting up a good fight. God knows where Oakham was, hopefully he had gotten out of their fast.

"Come on Ivy," I muttered, as she knocked her opponents sword out her hand. A cheer rang throughout the room.  
>Ivy smiled, as though she could see us, before she gasped. Most people screamed, others turned away, but I couldn't. I watched as the boy from two drew his bloody sword from her stomach.<p>

She collapsed to the ground. Dead. Lifeless. He helped his district partner up and walked over Ivy's body as though she was nothing. She was no one, not to him anyway. Just another obstacle in the game.

**:-:**

I got to school early the next morning. I walked dully around the school field, kicking up the dry patches of grass. The night before I turned the tv around to face the wall and muted it's annoying commentary. They didn't really show Oakham, just a small clip to show that he was alive and well away from the fighting. But this was a new day, and anything could happen.

When I arrived at Math, Gale was already seated. He hadn't spoken since our little truce walk. I often had to ask myself if it had happened at all, or was it just my lonely mind playing tricks on me.

The lesson started off as normal, but five minutes in, the tv in the corner automatically turned on. Miss Coil actually gave a startled jump before sitting at her desk and turning toward the TV. Something important had to be going on if an unscheduled viewing had occurred. I knew it was Oakham. My heart sank.

He appeared immediately after the anthem had played. He was sitting in a sand bank looking haggard and tired, despite only being a day in. The screen split to show the career group approaching as Oakham attempted to hide. They too looked a little worse for wear. I bet the game makers regretted putting them in such a hot climate. My predictions yesterday seemed spot on; the dehydration had kicked in and it looked as though no one had any fight left in them.

The class was silent as the careers approached the bank. Oakham closed his eyes, his knife in one hand, the other gripping my barrette that was attached to his shirt. My eyes brimmed with tears as the careers spotted him. Their faces broke out into sick smiles.

"Oh look, it's the other waste of space from twelve," the girl from one said, perking up immensely at the site of prey. She looked way to old to be taking part in the games. He gingerly opened his eyes.

"Please just do it quick," he begged.

"What?" I whispered, my voice cracking. Gale torn his eyes away from the screen and looked at me. I ignored him, only having eyes for my broken friend.

The boy from behind them laughed. I hadn't noticed him before. I looked closer and saw he had a small 6 emblazoned on his collar. What was a boy from district 6 doing with the careers? But I could see it in his eyes. He was brutal, tough and slightly insane from the day spent under the sun.

"Quick, do you think we show mercy? This is going to be as fun as possible. Well, for us anyway," he cackled again.

The boy from four rolled his eyes. "Titus, just kill him. There's no point in playing around," the boys from one panted. Titus, he sounded like a brute.  
>Titus snarled which caused the careers to look away. He was frightening. His eyes bulged out of his head, his face was bright red, but yet I could not turn away. Everyone's eyes were transfixed on the screen.<p>

"Let's find somewhere to shelter," District one said. "Come on Cashmere."  
>"We're leaving him? Thank god," she mumbled. She shot Titus a filthy glare before departing with the other tributes.<p>

Titus smiled at Oakham hungrily. "I'm going to enjoy this."

"I'm not," Oakham said dryly. In another circumstance, it would have been funny. Titus' sick smile dropped from his face. The way the spoke to each other was strange, like they had a history. I wondered if something had happened in the training room, but I guessed I'd never know.

"What's it like having no sponsors?" he taunted, pulling out a canteen and sipping water. He licked his lips.  
>Oakham ignored him but the rest of the class didn't. They all turned to face me. It was the mentors job to secure sponsors. Haymitch had failed him. And for some reason, according to my class, that was my fault.<p>

Titus looked down at my friend before unexpectedly kicking him hard. He kicked him again and again until blood flowed out of his mouth, desparately escaping his battered body. The girls in the class were crying, even some of the boys looked teary.

"Fightback," I whispered earnestly at the screen. "Why won't you fight back?"  
>A few surrounding people looked at me in shock. I wanted to escape, but leaving the room was forbidden.<p>

Titus ripped my barrette from Oakham's collar and twirled it in his grubby fingers. I hated it in his hands. He was toying with the last piece of home Oakham had.  
>"Is this from your girlfriend?" he asked in a baby voice. My blood boiled.<p>

"How do you even know what a girlfriend is? I suspect you've never had one before," Oakham panted. His comment earned him another kick. Why didn't he just take it, he was making things worse for himself.

"Well I hope little girlfriend enjoys this as much as I do." Titus raised his knife and slowly traced it from his temple to jaw. Oakham let out a pained cry as the animal laughed.  
>My eyes were fixed on the knife clutched in his hand, why wouldn't he fight back? Blood oozed out of his skin as Titus traced various shapes on his face. Soon his entire body was covered in the crimson liquid.<p>

"Fight back," I whispered, my vision blurry with tears. "Fight back!" I shouted loudly. But my voice was just a scrambled sob. Most of the people in the room were crying or whispering pleas of mercy.

Oakham looked down at his knife and then to the barrette in his opponent's hand. "Sorry Emmy," he mumbled before raising the knife and plunging in through his heart.  
>I screamed. As did several other people. A cannon boomed and He was gone.<p>

But that didn't stop Titus. He swore loudly and threw his canteen away in rage, angry that he wasn't the one to win and kill.

I thought he may leave but the psychopath didn't. He took out a smaller knife and raised it to Oakham's head. He was going to scalp him.  
>My breakfast churned in my stomach. I didn't care about compulsory viewing, I need to get out.<p>

I rushed out of my seat and ran out the door, heading for the bathroom, but I couldn't hold it in. I just about made it to a trash can before vomiting up the contents of my stomach.

I was shaking, my whole body hurt as I wretched. Oakham... He was dead. And that boy... Titus. An image of him with a knife to Oakham's head sent me heaving again, but there was nothing left in my stomach and tangy stomach acid stung my taste buds.

I collapsed into a heap on the floor. There was a vile taste in my mouth but I had no water. And there was no way I was going back in there to watch the game makers remove his mangled body.

How could he be dead? I couldn't believe it. The worst part of it was how cruel that Titus boy was. He was trouble. If he was crowned victor, there would be nothing stopping me from attacking him at his victory party.

I didn't understand why I was so upset. Sure, what I had seen was disgusting, but no one else had reacted like this. I barely knew Oakham, but I acted as though we were brother and sister.

But we were in a way. We hung out as kids and as everyone around me died, Oakham was the only person from my old life at the seam left. My parents had died, the games had stolen my brother and now Oakham. And now he had just disappeared.

Who was I now? Was I still Emery Matilda Hope. The tough girl from the seem. Or was I Em Abernathy, the spoilt victors daughter. The girl who would swan around town buying whatever I wanted, rubbing it in people's faces.

Had I forgotten than just a year ago I was starving, there were still people starving and I didn't help them. Sure, I would say loads of liberating speeches in my head, but did I ever carry them out? No I didn't. I was too busy wallowing in self pity about my traumatic life.

I put my head on my knees and began to sob again. I just wanted to run away, but I could never make it. I wanted Haymitch, Oakham, Peeta, my family...  
>Someone sat down silently beside me. They didn't speak, or offer any comforting gestures, they just sat there. Between a gap in my legs I could see their haggard and scared hands: Gale.<p>

My head snapped up. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see of you were ok," he said simply. "I didn't realise you knew him."

I didn't answer him. I just continued to stare at the floor in front, the image of Oakham killing himself replaying over and over.

"That was your hair clip wasn't it." I nodded. "I recognised it from the reaping," he continued before stopping abruptly.  
>I looked back up again and saw that his eyes held a foreign softness to them. It was warm and comforting. His grey eyes felt like home. I relaxed slightly.<p>

"W-what happened?" I whispered, not sure if I really wanted to know.

Gale cringed. "The boy scalped him... And then turned cannibal." I let out a squeak. I hoped somebody killed that sick manic, and fast.  
>"Miss Coil pulled the plug," he continued.<p>

"What!" I snapped up.  
>"It got too much, really graphic, so she pulled the plug on the TV."<p>

I suddenly felt worse, if that was possible. "She shouldn't have done that," I murmured darkly.  
>"It had to be done," he said in the same tone.<p>

We sat in silence, both of us too traumatised to talk. But then something clicked, the reason why Gale was so upset.

"You knew him too," I stated. He didn't correct me. "You were his friend who went to visit him." Again he stayed silent. I sank back into the wall. There was another pregnant pause. "What if he's forgotten?" I asked.

Gale looked at me curiously. "He won't be," he answered simply.

"That's my biggest fear you know, for people to forget me. To die without leaving anything behind. To die without having an impact on anything," I whispered, my eyes brimming again. I don't know why I was telling him this, but I couldn't help myself.

"Oakham won't be forgotten," he said strongly. "He's obviously affected you, and everyone else in that class today. We won't forget him. We'll live for him. We'll make up for his life that was cut short. And when the time comes we'll avenge him."

I should have really disagreed and scolded him for talking about rebellion in such an open place, but I agreed with him wholly. "And I always pegged you for a dumb ass?" I smiled slightly, trying to lighten the mood.

"I always were thought you were smart. Guess we were both wrong."  
>I elbowed him in the ribs, he hit me back but there was a small smile on his face. It freaked me out how close we had become in the last few minutes. I quickly stood up and brushed myself down. He too regained himself and put a few inches between us.<p>

"So... We forget this?" he said, cringing slightly.  
>I couldn't help but smile. "It never happened."<p>

And it didn't. We went back to being 'math partners' speaking only in class. However there was a small part of me that wished for more. He wasn't too bad for an arrogant dumb ass.

**:-:**

The next few weeks were hard. I spent most of it alone, counting down the infinite days until Haymitch returned.

After day 17 of the games, Cashmere, the girl from one won the games after Titus was killed in a landslide. She wasn't exactly an angel but none of the victors ever were.

For the first time in weeks, I was in an ok mood. I had escaped the games for another year and Haymitch would be home that very afternoon. I walked to math in good spirits however my mood changed as soon as I walked through the door.

Instead of Miss Coil's smiling face greeting me, I was met by another cold, hard one. Her hair was scrapped back into a bun and her skin was wrinkled and stoney.

"You're late," she snapped, as I walked through the door. I looked at the clock, it was exactly nine.  
>"I'm on time," I said, patronisingly pointing at the clock.<p>

"Well I expect you to arrive five minutes early and..."  
>I walked straight to my desk and ignored her annoying drawl. She would not ruin my day. I sat down next to Gale and saw him and a few other oppressing laughs at my lack of respect.<p>

"Now, as I was saying," the woman continued. "I am Ms Dragg."  
>"Where's Miss Coil," Nathan pipped up from the front.<p>

"You will raise your hand before you speak!" she snapped her ruler against his desk.

"Where is Miss Coil?" he repeated, his hand in the air. We all laughed. Oh, this woman was an idiot.

"Miss Coil has been detained for criminal activity and will not be teaching you anymore," she said smugly.

"Criminal activity?" I wonder allowed. "As if Miss Coil-" I stopped. Could she have been arrested for turning off the TV, surely not. But it was the only thing on everyone's mind.

Miss Dragg's name described her perfectly. She was snappy, strict, the polar opposite of her cheery predecessor. The entire class walked out in a huddle at the end, all speaking in hushed whispers.

"You don't think-"

"It must be," Nathan said, looking around suspiciously. "She wouldn't have done anything else. She was only trying to protect us."  
>"What do you thinks happened to her?" Mae asked. There was an awkward silence.<p>

"If stealing is punishable by death, I'd hate to know what happened to poor Miss Coil," I muttered.

The rest of my day was solemn. So much for my half-good mood. At the end of the day, I practically ran home. I took the short cut through the garden path, scraping my arms a few times along the way.

I skipped through the door, a genuine smile on my face. "Haymitch!" I called.

A grunt came from the kitchen. I ran in to find him passed out of the table. A bottle in one hand, a knife in the other. I snatched the bottle from his hand and poured it lightly over his face. He shot up immediately and waved his knife around, I jumped back out of its path.

His expression softened slightly when he saw me, but only slightly. "What are you doing here?" he mumbled.

"I live here and I haven't seen you in weeks." I moved in to hug him, but he stepped away. "What's going on?"  
>"Nothing, I just don't think it's best of you... Live here anymore," his eyes began to fill up slightly.<p>

"What's wrong?"  
>"Nothing," he shouted, spinning around. He staggered over, but caught onto the chair. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up.<p>

"Tell me," I demanded. He stayed silent. "If this is about Oakham..."  
>"It's not about your boyfriend," he spat. "It's just not safe."<p>

"What isn't?" I hated it when he was like this. There was obviously something important going on but he was too drunk to tell me.  
>"The Capitol know about you," he whispered. "Snow want to meet you."<p>

He dug into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled letter. It had my name on it in elegant loopy writing. I ripped it open and found it stamped with the presidential seal. A small rose pettle fell out. I gulped.

_Dear Miss Abernathy,_

_Let me first offer my condolences over the death of your friend. His loss of life so young really was a tragedy.  
><em>_But that is not the reason I write. I have heard wonderful things about you recently and it has come to my attention that we have never met. I make it my duty to meet all of the_ special _people in my country. __Which is why I am inviting you to the Victors Ball next February. _

_I will see you then. _

_President Snow_.

My face paled. I looked at Haymitch desparately.

"Who-W-What do I do?" I asked frantically. He shrugged and took a gulp out of his whiskey.

"Not a lot we can do," he whispered, looking at me sadly.

There was nothing more he could tell me; I knew. When you received a letter of the Capitol, it was not an invite, it was a demand. There was no other option. I had to go to the Captiol.

* * *

><p><strong>For once I have updated when I said I would. This chapter was really difficult to write, but next chapter should be easier and filled with some familiar faces : D<strong>

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed: _lolamellark123, Butterfly in the sky, Story lover3, StayingAlive223, Mocking Verse, SilensFlos and Anon._**

**Thank you for reading, let me know what you think : )**


	7. The Party

C H A P T E R S I X

* * *

><p>Turn the lights out now Now I'll take you by the hand<br>Hand you another drink, drink it if you can,  
>Can you spend a little time<br>Time is slipping away Away from us so stay  
>Stay with me I can make<br>Make you glad you came

- Glad You Came, The Wanted

* * *

><p>"Please Peeta," I whined.<p>

"No," he said simply, walking back around the bakery counter. I followed him around but his brother, Tiger, put the flap down. I glared at him before following Peeta on the other side.

"Why not?" I asked.  
>"Because I don't want to be your boyfriend," he hissed, looking around to see if anyone heard. They didn't.<p>

"I don't want to you to be my boyfriend." Tiger looked up from his kneading and gave Peeta a sly grin. I ignored him. "This is just one friend accompanying another friend to a party." The victors tour kicked off tonight and I had been invited to the party at the mayors house but since Madge had gotten a D in her history test, she was not allowed to come, leaving me all alone with a bunch of old officials and peacekeepers. "Please, it's not my fault Madge failed her test."

"Yes it is, you kept throwing bits of eraser at her head," he sighed. He was getting annoyed now, but I wasn't one to give in.

"I am begging you," I practically shouted.

"I know, you've been here for the past hour," Tiger mumbled. I shot him a glare and then turned to Peeta giving my best puppy dog look.  
>"But everyone will think we're together," he muttered.<p>

"Since when have you cared what people think?"

He looked down and started to ice a cookie, ignoring me completely. A memory last week popped up in my mind. Peeta had sat with us at lunch and kept staring at Katniss Everdeen, completely ignoring Madge, like he was avoiding her. "Oh my god, you love Madge!" I screeched.

His head shot up and he dropped the pipping tool. "What no!" I sighed heavily, a small smile forming on my lips.  
>"It all makes sense now, why you avoid looking at her by staring at Katniss, how you were so protective over her failing her test, and how you don't want to go because it will-"<p>

"Emery!" he shouted loudly. "I don't like Madge."  
>I screwed my nose up in confusion. "You don't?"<p>

"No, of course not." I felt myself smiling a little.  
>"Good. I don't want to loose you to anyone anyway. You're all mine."<p>

He gave me a small embarrassed smile. "What happens if I get a girlfriend?"  
>"I'll scare them away," I said with a grin. "Now back to the topic at hand. Come on Peeta please."<p>

"Yes please," Tiger said, slamming his knife down on the table. "Just get her out of the shop so we can work in peace." We both stared at him expectantly. Peeta sighed in defeat.  
>"Fine."<p>

I squealed and awkwardly hugged him over the counter. "Anything you want, you've got it."

"Can you leave?" Tiger begged.  
>"Yes, please," Bannock, the oldest Mellark brother, shouted from the back room. I didn't even know he was there. I pursed my lips but I could stop the smile of relief that was plastered on my face.<p>

"Fine, now you kids have fun now," I said in a sickly sweet voice. "Meet me by the stage after the annoying speech."

I waved before exiting the store, the bell from the door ringing as I left. I practically skipped to the hob. It was such a weight of my shoulders to know that I wouldn't have to face this awful evening alone. It would be bearable, probably even enjoyable, with Peeta around.

I hadn't high hopes for the evening. Cashmere was the girl who discovered Oakham, therefore leading to his untimely death. I looked down to the tatty piece of lace that was tied around my wrist. It was the only recognisable thing that came back in the coffin. He wore it in the arena to remind him of me, I wore it always to keep him alive. My eyes welled up as I thought of my lost friend. I broke out into a jog, trying to rid all sorrowful thoughts from my mind. When I finally arrived at the hob, I was panting. It was quite disgusting how out of shape I was.

Despite it being a Saturday afternoon, the place wasn't too full. I could easily see Haymitch standing at Greasy Saes stall, buying two bowls of stew. I grinned and strolled over.

"Thanks," I said, taking the bowl off him.  
>He didn't let go and pulled it away. "Who said its for you?" he asked. I gave him a knowing smile.<p>

"Oh Haymitch do you have a lady friend? Have you been charming the elderly again?"  
>"Hey!" Sae shouted. "We'll have none of that cheek here." I looked down, as Haymitch sniggered.<p>

I really needed to be more observant and think before I speak.  
>"I've seen more tact in a piece of coal," he muttered.<p>

"Shut up," I whined, stealing back my stew and eating it quietly. It was quite tasty if I was quite honest, Gale and Katniss must have had a good haul.

"Where have you been all morning?" Haymitch asked as he rummaged through his small sack of money.  
>"I had to see Peeta at the bakery."<p>

He sighed, but the corners of his lips were turned up in a faint smile. "What did you con that poor boy out of this time?"  
>"I didn't con him <em>out<em> of anything," I said indignantly. "However I did con him _into_ coming to the party with me tonight." I had to look down to hide my triumphant grin. Haymitch knew me too well.

I looked to my left and saw Katniss Everdeen and Gale bartering with a jewellery seller. Gale and I hadn't really spoken since our little heart to heart the day Oakham died. Sure, we exchanged the occasional "What did you get for question four" or "Do you have a ruler I could borrow?" but our relationship was strictly professional, just the way I liked it.

I look a gulp of my stew but almost choked when someone laid a heavy arm across my shoulder. Coughing and spluttering, I looked up to see Darius, the peacekeeper behind me with his arm thrown lazily around my neck. Sure, we joked around, but we were no way in contact territory.

I ducked under from his arm and smirked expectantly. "May I help you?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips.

My actions seemed to amuse he as he let out a small laugh. "Look at you miss attitude." I relaxed my arms which only caused him to laugh harder. I held them awkwardly at my side, but I felt uncomfortable at his words. I twisted the stud in the top of my ear, a nervous trait of mine.

"So, did you just come here to annoy me?"

"Pretty much yeah," he said, leaning casually against the beam of Saes stand. "Are you going to the party tonight?"  
>"Unfortunately yes," I answered through gritted teeth. The sooner the victor tour was over, the better. Tonight would just be a sample of my Capitol adventure to come.<p>

"Maybe you could save me a dance?" he winked at me cheekily.  
>I gave him the most charming smile I could muster. "That would be great, but I have a date. Sorry," I added, unsympathetically.<p>

Darius mock gasped. "A date? Who would ask you out?"

"She asked him," Haymitch cackled from behind me.

I spun around and glared. "Hey! You're supposed to be on my side."  
>He shrugged. "Says who?"<p>

"Says the rules of family!" I could see he was about to retort, but he couldn't really say it in public. Haymitch pursed his lips with a knowing smile. He knew I knew what he was going to say, but I had no answer. He had won this round.

As Gale and Katniss walked passed us, Darius took her hand. "Katniss, my love, you'll dance with me won't you?"

"No," she said dully, snatching her hand away. I had to laugh at her unenthusiastic tone.

"Sorry, Darius, you're just unlovable," I said, giving him a small pout.

"I am not!" he protested. "When I sell my kisses the queue is around the block."

"Of course," Katniss said. "We can barely see you through all these crowds of adoring women." It was the first piece sarcasm I had heard from her. She gave me an embarrassed smile as I laughed again. I liked this Katniss a lot better than the brooding, aloof girl who sat with us at lunch.

"Would you like to buy a kiss?" Darius asked her.  
>"Sorry, it's my sisters birthday, I can't afford it," she said with a shrug.<p>

"What about you?" Darius turned to me.

I grinned and cornily flipped my hair over my shoulder. "Well..."

"Ok that's enough," Haymitch said, pulling me away from our little group.  
>"But you can't pull me away from my one true love," I called after Darius. I spoke louder than intended and a few people turned to stare.<p>

"I will you find you on the dance floor my darling," he shouted dramatically back. Katniss' eyes held a rare look of amusement while Gale looked pissed. Spoil sport.

Haymitch and I walked home in a comfortable silence. Well, I was silent. Haymitch had a habit of muttering under his breath as he walked.

As soon as we got in, I raced upstairs and began to make myself look presentable for the party. I hated going to the speeches dressed like it was a ball, but stupid mandatory attendance made it impossible to go home and change. I was wearing the dress I wore to the reaping. Haymitch insisted on buying something new, but I turned him down. I hated showing up in the middle of a crowd of starving people wearing the latest designs from the Capitol. I did tie a grey ribbon on my waist to change it up a bit though.

I put my hair up and placed a large circle necklace around my neck. It wasn't anything special, but I hated going out with a bare cheat. It looked weird.

When I finally went downstairs a note was left from Haymitch at the table.

_You were taking too long, I've already gone. _

Great! How kind of him. I grabbed my bag and stomped out the door, not even bothering to lock it. I didn't even want to go to this thing anyway.

As I stormed to the justice building, I thought back to last year. It was a year since I had met Madge. The mayor introduced us at the last victors dinner. I felt quite sad that she couldn't attend. Maybe I could talk to him later and persuade him to let her.

The square was already pretty full when I arrived. I stood near the back, stretching my toes to find Peeta in the crowd. It was hopeless. I didn't recognise many people. They all glared at my attire and made loud comments to each other that was intended for me to hear. I held my chin up high and pushed my way nearer to the front so I could get a better view.

Cashmere already stood at the microphone waiting patiently for her cue. She looked confident, like she was better than everyone in the district put together. Part of me approved of that. You had to be thick skinned to be a victor. Haymitch had told me many awful things about President Snow but in a week, I wouldn't just have heard stories, I would be a witness.

The light on a Capitol camera turned red, before switching to green. Cashmere gave a smile before beginning her speech. She knew how to work the crowd. Sure, she was coincided and flipped her hair every ten seconds, but if I didn't know that Ivy almost killed her and that she was the one who found Oakham, I would have actually believed her words of sympathy.

Her eyes glistened with fake tears as she ended her speech. Although the round of applauded that followed was weak, it was a lot louder than previous years.

Cashmere was ushered inside as the peacekeepers moved the crowd back to their homes. I made my way over to the stage and waited for Peeta. I spotted him immediately on the far side, getting his hair combed back by his mother while his brother laughed at him behind her back. It was a funny sight, but Peeta looked very ticked off. I didn't want him in a bad mood for the rest of the evening.

"Hey!" I called. The five of them turned around to face me. "Peeta we should really get going."  
>"Oh good, bye mom, bye dad." Peeta grabbed my hand and pulled me away from them before I had time to wave. I had to laugh.<p>

Once we were safely around the corner, Peeta let go of my hand and let out a nervous laugh. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be." I looked up at his gelled back hair curiously. "Do you like it like that?" He shook his head and rolled his eyes at his mothers dictatorship. I stood up on my tip toes and ruffled up his hair, giving him a more rugged and approachable look.

"Much better," I said with a grin.

He laughed and took in my appearance. "You look very nice," he commented.

"You too." He looked very smart in his shirt and dress pants combo. Sure, he wouldn't be as fancy as most the people here, but he looked great.

We walked up to the steps and gave our names. "Abernathy," the peacekeeper said. "Keep your father away from the fountain, we had some trouble last year."

"Just for that comment, I'm going to jump in with him," I whispered to Peeta once we were out of earshot. He let out a laugh but then stopped abruptly as we reached the front hall where the mayor, Cashmere and her mentor was waiting to greet us.

"Good evening Emery, Peeta," the mayor said, shaking our hands.

"Hello Mayor Undersee," I said with a smile. "How is Madge?"

"Now, don't get sly with me Miss Abernathy, I know what you're trying to do," he joked.

I gave a small pout. "Please Sir, today's our friendship-aversary."  
>"Your what?" Peeta asked skeptically.<p>

"A year ago today, the mayor introduced us. It's only fitting that Madge is present."

The Mayor sighed and gave me a defeated smile. "Fine, go up and bring her down."

I jumped but then realised where I was. "Thank you," I said, before making my way over to the stairs. A peacekeeper stood in my way and pushed me over to where Cashmere and her team were standing.

"You have to congratulate," he said in a dull voice. I could see in his eyes that he thought this whole affair as stupid as I did.

I walked over to Cashmere and shook her hand. "Hi, congratulations."

I moved on to her mentor and repeated the process until there were no more people to suck up to.

"Peeta, come on!" I called, ushering him up the stairs as soon as I had dropped her stylists hand.

Peeta took his time to diplomatically talk to everyone before following me up the stairs, his large feet thumping along. We turned through the winding corridors until we reached Madge's room. Peeta knocked sharply on the door.

"Come in," she answered dully. He opened the door and laughed. I curiously followed him in and did the same. Madge was sitting on her bed, her face made up, in her best dress.

"Wishful thinking?" Peeta asked.

Madge grinned. "In case you managed to spring me. Have you?" I nodded. "Oh you guys are the best."

She stood up and put her arms around our necks, squishing us into an awkward hug.

"I think we should go down," I said, after a minute of no air. Madge set us free and walked down to the party. I wouldn't actually call it a party though. The few officials and important people of the district stood around talking while our guests sat dully in the corner.

"See Peeta, aren't you glad you came?" I asked sarcastically. He grunted and sat down at a table with food already laid out. Eating was the only entertaining thing to do really.

We tried to make conversation with each other, but our laughter and shouts seemed out of place so we quietened down and continued to eat in silence. About half way through desert, Darius slid up to our table and sat down beside me.  
>"How much fun is this?" he said in the same fake excitement tone I used earlier.<p>

"I know, I can barely contain myself," I said monotonously. "Where's drunken Haymitch when you need him?"

"He's in the kitchen getting the good liquor; got some for myself." he motioned under the table and pulled out a bottle of clear sparkly liquid. I snuck a look to see if anyone was watching before taking a gulp.

"Emery!" Peeta scolded.  
>I held up my hands in defence. "What? It's the only fun we'll have at this party."<p>

He shrugged. "Fair enough." he took the bottle off me before taking sip. He coughed and spluttered while Darius and I laughed. "I don't think I'll be having anymore."

"Suit yourself," Darius said, taking it back off him. "Any what about you darling?" he asked Madge.

"No thank you," she said in a small voice. Darius smiled at her kindly. He began to down the bottle before pulling back abruptly and pointing at me.

"I've just remembered, you promise me a dance," he said with a grin.

"To this?" I asked, gesturing to the dreary lullaby the small orchestra was playing.

"No, come one." he stood up and grabbed my hand. I tried to sit down but he was a lot stronger than me. "It's a dance or a kiss." I stood up immediately and moved to the dance floor with him. He left me in the middle and walked over to the orchestra.

A few people stopped their conversations and curiously stated at us. I looked desparately over to Darius who was having a heated discussion with the conductor.

"Fine," he said to Darius. He waved his little stick before beggining an upbeat tune. It was one of the dances of twelve. The fastest most complicated one. Most people fell about while dancing it, and idiotic Darius had chosen it.

I glared at him as he gave me a boyish smile. I went to move away but he grabbed my hand, not saying anything, just grinning. His eyes were sparkling, begging me to challenge him in front of all these people. I sighed in defeat and tore off my shoes, throwing them in the general direction of Madge. A crowd had formed around the dance floor as we waited for the beat to start again.

Darius stood a few feet in front of me grinning. "One, two. One, two, three go!"

We skipped up to each other and then skipped back. We did this a few times until I put my arms onto his shoulder and he boosted me up, twirling around. We then kicked our feet wildly between each other as the crowd cheered.

"Oh my god, I can't remember anymore," I squealed as he picked me up again.  
>"Just go with it," he panted. We jumped around a little more until it was time for the big finish; the spin.<p>

We linked hands and then spun wildly in a circle, the room becoming a blur around us. I screamed and Darius laughed.

"Ready to let go?"

I didn't have time to answer, he let go of my hands as I went twirling into the crowd as he crashed into the floor laughing. I staggered over and tried to help him up, but I fell over too. I couldn't help but giggle along with him. As much as I hated to admit, that was a lot of fun.

A few members of the crowd, including Peeta and Madge, got onto the dance floor and positioned themselves for the next beat. I noticed Cashmere standing wistfully on the sidelines. I pointed her out to Darius who grinned wickedly. He strolled over to her and held out his hand.

"May I have this dance?"

She blushed and took his hand, standing opposite him with a stupid smile on her face. Darius' held the same expression. Considering they had only met ten seconds ago, they were smitten.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to find Haymitch standing behind me. He gave me a bow before skipping toward me, beginning the dance again.

It was a lot more chaotic this time. Couples crashed into each other and span out of control. Haymitch was wasted and dropped me on several occasions but I didn't mind. For the first time in months I actually found myself having fun.

This morning when I woke up, I did not want to come to this party but now I was finding it difficult to leave. The party went on well into the morning. The crowd from district one had so much fun, they actually postponed their departure to the morning.

"Glad you came?" I asked Peeta with a grin at the end of the night.

"Deffinately. District twelve isn't the richest or most exciting districts, but no one can say we don't know how to have a good time."

I could only agree.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry, no Capitol this chapter, but I promise it will be in the next one. Again, the chapter was getting a little long and I like to keep them under 5,000 words if possible.<br>Thanks to everyone who reviewed: _Silents-in-the-library, Kaitaru Sera Viktoria Hatake, lolamellark123, MrsHutcherson, Talee, Anon, Staying Alive223, CSIGetteBlue, Buddleduck123 and God1801_ (who pointed out a huge and stupid mistake I made. Thanks )**

**Thanks so much for reading, let me know what you think : )**


	8. The Capitol

C H A P T E R S E V E N

* * *

><p>Decision to decisions are made and not bought<br>But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot  
>I guess not<p>

Control yourself  
>Take only what you need from it<br>A family of trees wanted to be haunted  
>-Kids, MGMT<p>

* * *

><p>Unfortunately I had to go to school the next day. Since we didn't get in until two am and Haymitch spent the remainder of night having nightmares about the mysterious 'Maysilee' I only got about an hours sleep.<p>

I threw on a pair of dungarees and trudged to the school. I hadn't even bothered to change my hair, it was still in its up-do from last night.  
>The clock in the town square read 9:05; damn. I arrived at school ten minutes late. I ran into math and hoped to sneak in at the back, but Miss Dragg was giving a rare speech.<p>

"Nice of you to join us Miss Abernathy," she said as I sprinted through the door. I mumbled my apologises and took my seat at the back, almost tripping over in the process.  
>"Now as I was saying. The annual visit to the mines is the pride of our district and attendance is compulsory," she continued.<p>

I froze. The mines, I could not go down there. That was where my father and so many other people had died. Hundreds of innocent workers had gone underground and never come out. My hand shot in the air.

"Miss Dragg, when you say attendance is compulsory..."  
>"I mean everyone must attend," she said sternly.<p>

"But I'm two years younger than everyone else," I protested.  
>"The visit will take place during the time allocated for mathematics, so you will attend."<p>

I could feel my face hotting up and my hands became sweaty. "I-I c-can't go down there," I stuttered. My stomach churned as it threatened to throw up.  
>"W-why not?" she mocked.<p>

I held my breath and stayed silent. Miss Dragg gave me a triumphant smile before carrying on. I zoned out though. There was no way I could go. I wasn't claustrophobic as such. I could deal with tight spaces filled with people. It was being underground I did not like. Anything could happen: A fire, a cave in, and there was no chance of escape. I am an animal, I have survival instincts and my goal in life is to live. I would not go into a place where there was only one way out. If that lift broke, I would be trapped forever.

"So, the class shall meet on Friday morning outside the mines," Miss Dragg concluded.  
>"This Friday?" I interrupted again, my hopes rising slightly.<p>

"Yes this Friday, You would know that of you weren't late," she snapped.  
>I grinned and let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank God, I'm in the Capitol then," I said without thinking.<p>

A gasp rang throughout the room as everyone turned to face me. I cringed. I had purposely not let my visit to the Capitol become common knowledge. Why? Because I knew they would react like this.

"The Capitol?" Gale asked in a disgusted voice beside me.  
>"Erm, yeah the president invited me and I couldn't exactly turn him down," I mumbled.<p>

There was another gasped. "The president?"  
>I hung my head down, I was such an idiot. The whole class seemed disgusted or frightened. Well, all except Miss Dragg who seemed absolutely delighted.<p>

"Oh you'll have to tell us all about it," she said cheerily. I didn't think she was capable of happy emotions. My smile was more like a grimace but she seemed to accept it and continued with the lesson.

The class seemed colder with me though, even more so than usual. Gale, who usually ignored me, sent me death glares throughout the entire period. He looked as though I was a slab of mud on his shoe.

I had no idea what the big deal was. Sure, I was going to the Capitol, but I didn't want to go. Could I make them understand though? I would love to see Miss Dragg's reaction of my story of events. There would probably be an uprising right here in 11B math.

Needless to say, I was extremely happy to get out of the class and head for English. A painstaking hour passed before my new favourite class: gym.  
>I only liked it because I got to goof of with Peeta, but it was still the most fun part of my day. I dressed quickly and practically ran into the gym but found my blond haired friend no where in sight. I double checked and saw I was right the first time; he was not here.<p>

I saw Delly Cartwright, the shoe makers daughters, standing in the corner talking with some friends. She and Peeta seemed to get on well, I wondered if she knew where he was was.  
>"Hey Delly," I called, walking over to her.<p>

She turned and gave me a warm smile. "Hello Emery. How are you doing today?"  
>"I'm good thanks, I was just wondering if you knew where Peeta was?"<p>

A few of the girls in her circle giggled, but she hushed them. Delly gave me an apologetic smile. At least she didn't believe those stupid rumours.  
>"I went to the bakery this morning and Tiger said he was ill," she continued. "Though even when he's sick he has to work," she added in a hushed tone.<p>

I nodding understandingly. Peeta and his father were lovely people and his brothers were pretty tolerable, but his mother was a witch. I would never forgive her for chasing me with a poker when I was on deaths door.

"Do you know if it's serious?" I asked.  
>She let out a small laugh. "Oh goodness no. Just a headache and sickness. Wait, wasn't he at the ball with you last night?"<p>

"Yeah but..." I stopped. Could Peeta really be hungover after two glasses if champagne. I laughed with Delly. "Oh gosh, she's such a lightweight."  
>Delly wasn't too bad to hang around with. Sure, she was very happy and wouldn't have a bad word said against anyone, but I thought that was kind of nice.<p>

And with Peeta gone, I had no one to partner with. Delly took the hard job of partnering me for the session. Normally, I was avoided like the plague, so I was very thankful for her kindness.

The end of this awful day could not come quick enough. I practically ran from history to the bakery to see how Peeta was.  
>When I arrived, he was plaiting dough, looking very tired and haggard.<p>

"Hey ditcher, where were you today?" I asked, giving him the brightest grin I could muster.  
>"Sick," he mumbled.<p>

"Hungover," I corrected. "But you've got to admit, last night was fun."  
>He looked up and gave me a small smile. "It was alright."<p>

"I found it highly enjoyable," a voice said from behind me. I turned around and saw Darius walking lazily through the door.  
>"I knew you would," I said with a cheeky grin. "How's your girlfriend?" I joked.<p>

"She fine thank you." He walked coolly over to the counter, but a small blush tinged his cheeks. I walked over and stared up at him expectantly.  
>"What happened?"<p>

"It's none of your business," he said loftily.  
>Peeta scoffed. "I can see in your eyes that you're dying to tell someone so you may as well cut to the chase."<p>

He blushed again. "At the end of the night I kissed her." we both gasped. "And then one thing lead to another..."  
>My eyes widened. "You didn't." He cringed, but there was a distinctive happiness in his eyes. "Darius, she's a victor."<p>

"And I'm a peacekeeper," he said superiorly.  
>"There's a bit of a difference," Peeta butted in.<p>

Darius looked down at us. "I wasn't asking your opinions anyway. You're too young to know about this. How old are you anyway. Twelve? Thirteen?"

"I'm fifteen," I said loftily.  
>He rolled his eyes and looked down sadly. "Well it doesn't matter 'cause I'll never see her again."<p>

I shared a knowing glance with Peeta and placed a comforting hand on Darius' back. "You actually liked her didn't you?"  
>He stood up straight and tried to regain some composure; it didn't work. "I won't get all mushy, but she's the type of girl I'd go for. And I don't come across one of them very often."<p>

I begged to differ and wanted to bring up his constant flirting techniques in the Hob, but now was not the time.  
>"Well, I'm going to the Capitol next week. Maybe I could speak to her and you could become pen-pals?" I offered. He scoffed. "Take it of leave it pal."<p>

I tutted his teeth but said no more. If he wanted a chance with Cashmere, then I was his only hope.

**:-:**

"We're almost there," Haymitch said on the train a week later.  
>"Praise the lord," I mumbled. The ride had taken a whole day. Haymitch was drunk the entire time and since the only other people on the train were Avoxes, I spent most of it in silence.<p>

Haymitch did try to give me some instructions on how to behave and who to talk to, but he passed out about three hours into the journey leaving me alone. I would have loved to take Peeta or Madge with me, but it wasn't safe.

I spent most of the ride leaning up against the window, watching the country fly by. I really should have been more excited, it being my first time out of the district, but my stomach was in knots.

I gazed out the window unmoving for the last hour. This visit would change everything. I don't know how, but it would. The stories told of this sugarcoated place had me on edge. And most visitors from the districts never returned.

The train began to slow ever so slightly before The Capitol came into view. I gasped. As much as I hated it, I had to admit it was an amazing sight.  
>We crossed a deep blue lake that glistened in the sweet bright sun. The large and artistic buildings reflected in the water, giving a dream like look. It was easy to see why so many people were intoxicated by its power. It was daring, exhilarating, mighty but not beautiful. It was too large and brash and nothing natural about it.<p>

"What do you think?" Haymitch asked with a laugh.  
>"It's..." but that was all I could muster. I couldn't decide if I wanted to run the rest of the way singing or hide away in the bathroom and throw up.<p>

As we neared the city, our speed decreased progressively. We crossed a bridge and then entered a tunnel. Everything was black but I could tell we were headed underground.  
>"Where are we going?" I asked skeptically.<p>

"Just to the train station," Haymitch said, gathering his things. I could not move though; I was frozen to my seat by the window.  
>But only a few seconds past before light burst back into the train. I looked outside and saw Capitol photographers lining the platform.<p>

"What are they doing?"  
>Haymitch laughed. "Taking photos," he said dumbly.<p>

I rolled my eyes. "Yes I know that. They want to take pictures of you?"  
>He gasped. "That really hurt," he said, holding his heart. "They like to capture the arrivals of the victors."<p>

I nodded but still didn't understand. No disrespect to Haymitch, but I'm sure all of the action was with Cashmere and the rest of her team. Not the drunkard lone victor of twelve.  
>As soon as my foot left the train, I was blinded with flashes. I hid behind Haymitch and scuttled along the platform, shielding my eyes.<p>

"Mr Abernathy, who is your guest?" a reporter called.  
>"Haymitch, what is your comment on Cashmere Doe!"<p>

"Mr Abernathy, is it true that Miss Doe found love in your district?"

I pursed my lips and found it very difficult not to laugh. The small letter in my pocket suddenly grew heavier.

"Little girl, who are you?" a man asked rudely.  
>Haymitch stopped and glared at the reporter. "This is my daughter, Emery." I stood awkwardly as they attempted to take my picture. Haymitch grabbed my hand and pulled me along into the waiting car. As soon as the porters had our luggage in the car, we zoomed away from the circus.<p>

I had never been in a car before so I took the time to inspect the interior and the driver. I could feel Haymitch silent laughing next to me so I stuck my tongue out at him. New experiences only happened once. And although I was at the place I hated the most, I was determined to have as much fun as possible.  
>We pulled up outside a tall building with more reporters outside, but this time it was more controlled.<p>

"This is the training centre," Haymitch told me. "Its where we normally stay during the games."  
>I nodded and followed him out of the car. He whistled for an attendant to grab the bags and went inside. The lobby was huge. There were doors and stairways everywhere. There was even a set of glass elevators that ran up to the top of the buildings.<p>

Groups of victors stood idly catching up about the last few months. I suddenly felt very intimidated by the whole thing. Everybody knew each other but I didn't have a clue. It looked like I would be spending the next few days alone.

Haymitch led us past a circle of younger victors containing sex symbol himself Finnick Odair, to the corner where a man about Haymitch's age sat drinking alone.

"Alright Chaff," My pretend father said, patting his back.  
>"Haymitch!" the man said a little too loudly, the liquid in his bottle sloshing onto the floor. It was easy to see what the common ground of their friendship was.<p>

"Chaff I would like you to meet my daughter Emery," Haymitch said, pushing me forward.  
>I smiled and held out my hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."<p>

Chaff laughed before lunging himself at me, pulling me into a suffocating hug. His drink spilt down my front, making me smell almost as bad as Haymitch.  
>"Great," I mumbled, trying to ring it out, but it was useless.<br>"Nice one," Haymitch grunted, but I could see he was trying not to laugh. "At least you fit in with us now."

I pretended to laugh along before 'knocking' into Chaff. The small remainder of his drink dripped over him. It wasn't much, but it was payback.  
>Haymitch laughed louder. As did the group of young victors next to us who were obviously eavesdropping on our conversation.<p>

"Had an accident Chaff?" Joanna Mason called.  
>"No, but Haymitch did," he said cruelly pointing at me. It was all in good humour but I wasn't happy, neither was Haymitch. He punched Chaff square in the jaw before his so called friend pushed him against the wall. They began to fight as the rest of us looked on.<p>

"Shouldn't we do something?" I asked no one in particular.  
>"Don't worry, they do it all the time," Finnick Odair said. "They'll be drinking buddies again before you know it."<p>

I nodded and tried to hide the blush that was creeping up on my cheeks. He was by far the best looking man I had ever seen. I could now see what the big fuss was about.  
>"You're Emily right?" Joanna asked.<p>

"Emery," I corrected.  
>"Near enough," she shrugged. I didn't mind though. We had met over a year ago; I was surprised she had remembered the 'Em' part.<p>

"We met at Cash's party," Gloss said. I honestly couldn't remember so I nodded along. He seemed to notice my vacancy and laughed. "Don't worry if you don't remember, I seem to remember you running wildly around with a boy."

I gasped. "Oh gosh yeah, I'm so sorry. The mayor just told us that Madge could come because she cheated on her test and couldn't come before, so Peeta and I... You have no idea what I'm talking about so I'm going to stop," I laughed nervously as they looked at me in amusement.

"No need to stop, your stories are interesting. You were the girl who kicked the boy in his balls?" Joanna asked brashly.  
>I grinned and nodded. "It was a steak actually."<p>

"You kicked a boys stake?" Finnick asked.  
>"Yes Finn she damaged a stake, what a fabulous story." she rolled her eyes at his stupidity. Finnick gave an embarrassed smile as he realised his mistake. Joanna was a little harsh on him, but he didn't seemed to mind.<p>

"Well I have some business to attend with Brutus, so I'll see you kids later." Gloss gave me a small nod before walking over to a huge muscly man on the other side of the room.  
>Joanna scoffed. "Ugh, I hate that guy."<p>

"Which one?" Finnick asked, motioning to the two victors shaking hands.  
>"Both of the to be honest. Can't trust them as far as you can throw them. And you can't throw them since their so fat."<p>

I giggled but then stopped myself, not sure if I was welcome in this conversation. She didn't seem to mind though.  
>"Gloss is alright though," Finnick defended.<p>

"As I said, can't trust him. He's a career," Joanna said loftily.  
>Finnick raised his eyebrows and stared at her for a long while. I suddenly clicked what was going on a repressed another laugh. He too was a career. Technically anyway, since he came from four.<p>

"Oh you know what I mean," she muttered. Finnick smiled at her warmly and then turned to me.

"So Emery, how old are you?"  
>"Fifteen," I answered in a small voice. I'm sure he didn't mean to be, but he was quite intimidating.<p>

"So are the rumours true?" Joanna asked.  
>Finnick rolled his eyes and put a hand on my shoulder. "Joanna," he murmured.<p>

"What?" she said innocently. She turned back to me and lowered her voice. "Did Cashmere really hook up with a guy from your district?"  
>Finnick slapped her arm. "One, she's just a kid, don't ask her immoral questions and Two, stop being nosy."<p>

"Sorry, but I live a dull life, this is the most fun I get." She turned back to me and annoyingly tapped her foot on the floor.  
>I smirked and looked up at her, meeting her challenging gaze. I'd show them who was just a kid. "I'm sorry, but that's classified information."<p>

Finnick laughed but curiosity got the better of him. "So is that a yes?"  
>"It's an 'I'm not allowed to say," I corrected loftily.<br>Joanna scoffed. "It's a yes. So what are the gory details?"

Should I tell them? Them seemed nice enough and not the type to spread nasty rumours. Besides, if I said no, what would we talk about then. I would rather share secrets then suffer awkward silences.

I sighed in defeat. "Promise me, this doesn't leave this circle." the nodded and Joanna raised her pinky. I ignored it and continued.  
>"Ok, so his names Darius, he's a peacekeeper. They danced and the party and dot, dot, dot. He claims to really like her and I think I believe him."<p>

Joanna let out a low whistle. "Go Cashmere. She's been a victor for barely six months and she's already landed herself a guy. If only I could be as lucky."  
>Someone cleared their throat. I turned around and saw that Haymitch had returned. His nose was a little bloody, but other than that he seemed fine. Well, fine for Haymitch.<p>

"So, Finnick, Joanna, you have won the great honour of showing my darling daughter around the Capitol."  
>"What?" Joanna and I asked simultaneously. I rolled my eyes and looked to him desperately.<p>

"Seriously, we've been here for what, twenty minutes, and you're already leaving me?" He should at least pretend to act like my father.  
>"Well sweetheart, it's rendezvous with these two or sit in a bar with me and Chaff?" he gave me a knowing smirk.<p>

"We'll see you in a few hours," I said, standing by Finnick. They both laughed.

We said our goodbyes and went outside. It was quite comical how fast their car appeared. Joanna didn't seem too pleased about devoting her day to babysitting me, but she held her tongue.

"So Emery, what do you like to do?" Finnick asked. I thought hard. I didn't have any hobbies. I wasn't really good at anything really, except math, but I didn't think he meant that.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't really do a lot to be honest. I go to school, hang out with friends, look after Haymitch and go for wanders around the district. As you can see I leave a very exciting life."

He smiled at me kindly. "Do you like music."  
>I shrugged again. We didn't really have music in twelve. There were a few songs that we knew and a couple of tunes we danced to, but no real singers, bands and genres. The only reason I knew they existed was because of an old unused record player in the attic.<p>

"Sorry about all the questions," Finnick apologised after my silence. "I'm just trying to think of something to do."  
>"Just take her to the mall. Bet you've never seen one of them before."<p>

"What's a mall?" I asked Joanna.  
>"Its this huge building with stores and restaurants and stuff."<p>

I smiled at her sheepishly. "What's a restaurant?"  
>Her eyes widened. "You don't know- oh never mind. It's a place that sells food."<p>

"Like a market?" I asked, feeling pretty stupid.  
>"No, you eat it there," Joanna answered. She looked pretty annoyed but I didn't care. I was too intrigued by the weird Capitol lifestyle.<p>

"So you buy food and they cook it for you. Why not eat it at home?"  
>"Why would you if someone's willing to do it for you. Wow, I've never met anyone like you. Even four has a few restaurants." Finnick said in awe.<p>

"Well sorry that we're not all well off," I snapped. I hated feeling stupid and these two were making me look like a complete idiot. I could have sang with joy when the car pulled over to let us out. But then I remembered I had to spend the day with them. Great.

As I got out, Finnick lightly grabbed my arm and pulled me to one side.  
>"Look, I'm sorry if I upset you earlier. I didn't mean any harm." He looked genuinely sad that he had offended me.<p>

I gave him a small reassuring smile. "I was being sensitive."  
>His face broke out into a dazzling grin. I was quite took back by his beauty. "Come on, let's go in."<br>He grabbed my hand and led my through the doors followed closely by Joanna.

I can't really explain a mall. It was weird. There were moving staircases all over the place and elevators that shot up to the sky. It was a bit like the high street with stores that lined a path, but it was all indoors.

The strangest part was the Capitol citizens. They dressed so weird. There was one woman dressed like a deer. I think she was a deer anyway; she was wearing antlers.  
>As we walked around, many people stopped and stared. A few people jumped and squealed at the sight of Finnick Odair. There was a bit of enthusiasm for Joanna but Finnick owned the show.<p>

Women, and even men, of all ages brushed past him, gave him flirtatious stares and asked for photos. One woman even gave him her address. But the most appalling thing was Finnick's response.

He smiled back, whispered apologies into the ears of the girls who bumped into him. He laughed and flirted as they had their photos taken. I thought he was alright as well.  
>I shot him a filthy glare as we were stopped for the twentieth time. "Do you have a multiple personality disorder?" I asked boldly. It was rude, yes, but flirty Finnick was really annoying.<p>

"Are you jealous of all this female attention?" he asked, getting very close in my face. If I wasn't so angry and disgusted I probably would have swooned. But I didn't.  
>"No, you're just pissing me off," I said bluntly.<p>

He looked down. His face loosing its slappable grin. "Sorry, but I have to keep up appearances."  
>My stomach churned. Again, I felt guilty. Victors lead a hard life, I shouldn't have been so judgy. There was a reason why Finnick was acting so weird, but I could not ask. I mumbled my apologys again. And looked around, desparately trying to find a new topic of conversation.<p>

"Oh is that a bakery?" I asked, pointing to a steaming store across the fountain.

"Yeah, their foods great," he said, a little too happily. I guess he was happy for the change of subject.

The bakery was a lot more lavish then the Mellark's. A menu of food spread across the wall and little tables filled the room. I guess this was a restaurant.  
>"I'll have a stack of pancakes," Finnick told the attendant. "Jo..."<p>

"Same." Finnick looked to me and I nodded. I had no idea what it was, but they couldn't hurt to try.  
>Finnick took out his wallet but the bakery shooed it away. "Free of charge Mr Odair."<p>

He thanked him and lead us over to a secluded table with our pancakes. They were delicious. I would have to get Peeta to make them.  
>After I had finished I went over to the baker and smiled at him sweetly. "Hello, those pancakes were amazing."<p>

"Thank you my dear," he said kindly. I was about to ask for a recipe but I looked at the bread he was rolling and gasped.  
>"Bread of eleven?" I asked, pointing to the crescent shaped rolled.<p>

He looked up at me curiously. "How do you know that?"  
>"Oh my friends the baker in my district," I said, offhandedly.<br>"Your district?" his eyes widened further. "You're not from the Capitol?"

"I'm from twelve," I said a little shyly. His face lightened considerably as he took out some fresh dough.  
>I reluctantly ducked under the counter after he beckoned me over.<p>

"You're district bread doesn't really sell well," he said, rolling out the familiar blocks.  
>"Because it's gross," I said bluntly. He laughed but it was the truth. It was often made with tessera grain. Thankfully, we could afford the good stuff but if real flour was not in stock, we had to have the traditional bread.<p>

"I've made some variations but it still doesn't do too well," he told me.

"It's probably due to our lack of victors. I bet four sells well," I said, motioning over to Finnick. He laughed.

The baker was pretty nice for a Capitol person. We spoke about breads for a few minutes. I was sure Peeta would love it here but I hoped he never would be...  
>After I had managed to worm the pancake recipe off him, we said goodbye and went off insight of clothes shopping.<p>

That was easier said than done. The Capitol fashions were strange and I didn't fancy wandering around school with a parasol. I did managed to get a few things though, and since the store owners were giving us freebees (thanks to my new friends) I took way more than necessary. You never known, some poor person in twelve may need a knew coat. I also picked up a few toys as a plan began to form in my mind...

The day wasn't too bad until we passed a store on the way out. Initially, I thought it was just a toy store. Children were gleefully playing outside, waving around their new purchases; playing games. But as we got nearer I saw a moving photo of Finnick with his trident in the window.

"What-" I saw the name of the store: _The Hunger Games Official Merchandise_.

The children had not toys, but mock swords, bows and arrows, axes. I froze.

"Maybe we should..." Finnick said, trying to lead me away but me feet were glued to the ground; my eyes transfixed on a group of children. They were about ten, both boys and girls.

"I'll eat you alive!" a boy with a sword said dramatically.  
>"Ah no, no," the smallest boy said.<p>

"I am Cashmere, and I say we move on!" the girl cried.

The boy dropped his sword and rolled his eyes. "Your not victor yet," he said dropping the facade. He picked up his sword and pointed it at the small boy on the floor. "What shall it be twelve. A knife in the stomach or an arrow in the chest."

My heart dropped. They were reenacting the games. The part where Titus killed Oakham. To these children, it was all innocent fun. They did not realise that Oakham, Cashmere and even Titus were real people who died because of their sadistic lifestyle.

I began to shake as my eyes welled up. I wanted to scream; cause a riot right here. The consequences did not matter, I just had to do _something_.  
>I marched forward, but Finnick grabbed my arms.<p>

"What are you doing?" he asked desparately.

"Those children, they're..." I couldn't speak, I was shaking so much. I blinked away the tears but they kept coming.

Finnick pulled me around to face him, gripping my arms tightly. "Emery, it's awful I know, but there's nothing we can do."  
>"He's right, if you say anything you and Haymitch will get into trouble," Joanna said.<p>

I sighed. They were right and I couldn't afford to get into anything with Snow. Especially with the ball tonight.

I picked up my bags that I had dropped on the floor. "I'd like to go back now," I muttered, before storming to the exit, my stomach still churning in pure hate for the Capitol.


	9. The Help

C H A P T E R E I G H T

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><p>Help! I need somebody, Help! not just anybody,<br>Help! You know i need someone,

When i was younger so much younger than today,  
>I never needed anybody's help in the way,<br>But now these days are gone and I'm not so self assured,  
>Now I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors.<p>

Wont you please, please help me?  
>- Help, The Beatles<p>

* * *

><p>The train ride home was awful. Even worse than the arrival. I spent the whole time in my room, unable to bare the Capitol anymore. Even the interior of the train annoyed me. I lay in bed with the quilt over my head, trying desperately to think of anything else. But my conversation with President Snow seemed to be playing on repeat.<p>

_ "Ah, you must be Miss Abernathy," he said, when I literally bumped into him at the ball. _

_"Yes sir," I mumbled, figiting with the hem of my dress. I hated the way he was looking at me. It was as though he was assessing me. His cold dark eyes bore through mine but I remained silent, staring back as defiantly as I could. But I was scared and I was sure I looked like a baby deer about to be shot.  
><em>_"Your a pretty little thing aren't you? I hope to see you here soon." And with that he left. _

To anyone else, that would have been a normal conversation. To me at the time it was. But what I didn't realise that Finnick had heard every word. He ran to me and clutched my shoulders, asking if I was ok.

I was confused and asked what was going on. But then he told me four simple words. "Read between the lines." I didn't understand why was he so freaked out. He told Joanna what happened. She swore under her breath and relayed the information to Haymitch. He paled.

"We were right," he mumbled before taking a large gulp of his drink.

This was being completely blown out of proportion. Surely, our conversation was fine, it could have gone a lot worse. But then the stories of victors ran through my mind. How they were tortured, forced to live not the life of ease as portrayed, but one of hell. Haymitch had no one left to hold him down, until now.

Snow's words rang throughout my mind. _"I hope to see you here soon."_ It was then I realised why they were all so frightened. In a few months, the games would take place. And there was little doubt that my name would be pulled from the reaping bowl.

Last week, I hated the Captiol, but now I loathed it; their lack of value for anything, the way they threw up their food because they wanted more, the way they build needless buildings that could home others, the money spent on clothes that could be given to the districts. They had no idea about the world around them.

I knew life in twelve was awful, but I did not realise how bad until now. For years I had made promises to improve and done nothing. But my short time in the Capitol had knocked some courage into me and today was the day to change.

I woke up early the day after we arrived home and dressed warmly. There had been a blizzard last night and the paths were covered in the coal dust tinted snow. I wore my new fur hat and green coat. It was ostentatious, but it so cold I did not care. Everyone hated me anyway, despite what I wore. I needed to see Darius and tell him that the letter delivery had been a success and give him the letter of Cashmere. But this was more important.

I hauled my freebees from the Capitol in a sack and walked to the Seam, my wellingtons splashing in the slush. Thankfully it was early and I met little people on the way. I had no idea where he lived, but I had a rough idea. I went to a familiar house in the Seam and knocked on the door across the street.

A man in his forties answered. He looked gruff and stared at my hat in pure loathing. It was probably worth more than his house. I put on my best smile.  
>"Hello, I was wondering if you knew where the Hawthorne's live?"<p>

"No," he mumbled harshly, before slamming the door in my face. I groaned in frustration and stomped down the steps. I hadn't said anything offensive, some people were too judgemental.

At the corner of the street, I saw a girl about my age walking with a young boy, presumably her brother. She went to school, she was in my gym class, but I couldn't place her name.

"Excuse me!" She turned around and her face fell. Tough crowd in the Seam. "Hi, do you know where Gale Hawthorne lives?"

She pursed her lips in thought. "He lives in the next street but I don't know the number."

I thanked her awkwardly before following her instruction. The next street was even more run down than my old one. There were gaps in the shackles, and the blizzard had blown the tiles of many of the roofs.

The owner of the first house I tried thankfully knew the Hawthorne's. They lived at 72d. I gave my thanks and walked down the slippery track to 72d. The numbers of the homes didn't really make sense. Over the years, shacks had been knocked down or added wherever there was space. But soon enough I spotted it next to a run down house falling to pieces. It wasn't much, but they had tried to make it look as presentable as possible.

I nervously walked up the wooden steps onto the little porch and rapped on the door. There was rustling on the otherside until it opened slightly, a woman peering through.

"Erm... Hello, is this the Hawthorne house?" I asked, cringing at the superiorly tone of my voice.  
>"Yes, how may I help you?" the woman said warily. I could hear children asking who was at the door in the background, but she ignored them.<p>

"I'm Emery Abernathy, I was wondering if Gale was home?" if it was any other person, I would have said I was a friend, but I had no idea what was going on between Gale and I.  
>"Abernathy?" the woman asked, recognition passing over her face. She may not know me, but Haymitch was famous in twelve. "Gale's not awake yet, but you are welcome to wait," she said opening the door.<p>

"Thanks," I smiled brightly, before going inside. It was quite dark inside, but kept neat like the outside. Just a few clothes hung drying in the kitchen that the woman hurriedly dashed away, I pretending not to notice.

"Can I get you a drink?" she asked, rummaging through the cupboards. "Water? Or I'm sure I have tea here somewhere..."  
>"Waters fine," I said, not wanting her to go through any trouble.<p>

"I'm Hazelle by the way, Gale's mother," she said, handing me a chipped glass.  
>I smiled at her warmly. "It's nice to meet you."<p>

"And my names Posy," a squeaky voice called from beside the sofa. I jumped up in surprise while Hazelle rolled her eyes in amusement. I looked down and saw a tiny girl squished between the wall. She was different from other Seam kids. Her hair was red and her eyes had a tint of green. I felt a sudden fondness of this girl; I too not having the traditional Seam looks.

"Hello Posy, I am Emery" I said kindly.  
>"Hello, Emerly," she said sweetly. I didn't have the heart to correct her.<p>

"Posy, come out from the sofa please," Hazelle scolded. She pouted.  
>"I can't mommy. I'm playing hide and go seek with Wory and Vick."<p>

Hazelle grunted. "Boys!" There was giggled before two mini Gale's burst through the door. "What have I told you about playing hide and seek with Posy and leaving her?"  
>"Did they forget me?" Posy asked.<p>

"No Posy," my voice thick with fake enthusiasm. "You won, yay!" Being so young, she took it as sincerity. She sprung up and stuck her tongue out at her brothers.  
>"I win," she cried.<p>

"Did not," the younger boy scoffed.

They broke out into an argument while Hazelle held her head and I tried not to laugh. I really missed the sibling banter; I started to get a bit emotional.

Posy suddenly plonked herself on my lap and stroked my hair. Her mother tried to get her off, but I didn't mind, she was doing no harm. I took off my hat and placed it on her head. It fell over her eyes, but she seemed to like it.  
>"I'm a bear, Rawww!" she shouted.<p>

"Posy," her mother shushed, pointing to a door which was presumably Gale's room. I hoped he wouldn't be too long. It would ruin my plan if he got up late.  
>"It's my birthday tomorrow," Posy said, out of the blue. I looked to Hazelle who nodded in confirmation, you never did know with kids.<p>

"Wow, that's so cool. How old are you going to be?" I asked. She held up three fingers. "Three? You seem a lot older than that," I said honestly. It was true. I thought she was at least four, not two.

"And I'm getting a dolly," she said gleefully.  
>"Posy, remember what mommy said, the dollys at the store have gone on holiday, so you may not be able to get one," Hazelle said. My stomach churned. I waited until Posy had engaged in games with her brothers before going into the kitchen, bringing my sack with me.<p>

I rummaged through and pulled out a newly packaged Capitol doll. She shook her head. "I can't afford that," she whispered.

"No charge." She was about to protest but I held up my hand. "Don't worry, it was free, I payed nothing. Please take it, it would make her day," I guilt tripped.  
>She took the doll off me and stared at it in shock. "Thank you so much."<p>

I smiled but began to feel uncomfortable, so I sat back down with the kids. I watched them play in peace for a while, learning that Rory was the elder of the two. Hazelle and I gave mindless chatter; about the weather and now nice the holly bushes looked this time of year.

"Who are you anyway?" Vick asked, interrupting our conversation. "Are you Gale's girlfriend?" he and his brother laughed, while Hazelle reprimanded then. Normally, I would have said yes and made a huge joke out of it, but I knew it would annoy Gale and that was the last thing I wanted.

The two began to laugh until loud banging footsteps were heard on the other side of the door.

"Hey! I thought I'd told you two-"  
>The door swung open to reveal a very tired looking Gale, in his boxers. He stared at me in surprise but all I could look at was his toned stomach. Wow, I had no idea he was so... I averted my gaze, feeling disgusted with myself but he had seen my staring.<p>

"So Emery what are you doing here?" he asked with an annoying smirk on his handsome face. _Handsome_, ugh what was wrong with me.

"I need to talk to you," I said professionally. I daren't leave my gaze from his face.  
>"Ok, let me just get dressed. Unless..." he trailed off with an obnoxious grin.<p>

I scoffed. "Just put some clothes on." He saluted to me and went back into the room, shutting the door behind him.

I looked to Hazelle and saw her giving me an amused look. I wanted to scream and protest at her, but it wouldn't be fair since she had been so sweet to me.

Gale took only a few minutes to get ready. He walked to the front door and held it open for me. I thanked Hazelle wholly and followed Gale outside.  
>"So..." I said awkwardly, desperately trying to think of a way how to start.<p>

"How was the Capitol?" he sneered.  
>"Awful," I said bluntly. His superior expression dropped. "It was... Disgusting." I noticed I was staring off into the distance. I shook my head and turned back to him. "I'm not here for chit chat. I need your help." He motioned for me to continue.<p>

"Ok, so due to _recent events_ at the Capitol, there is a high probability that I am going to be reaped."  
>"But your names only in there three times," he interrupted.<p>

I raised my eyebrows. "If the chance to get back at the embarrassment of Panam, Haymitch Abernathy, arose, do you really think they'd care about that? I bet the bastards have put my name in that ball a hundred times more than three." My insides turned when I swore, but I was so angry I didn't care.

"So I know we're not best pals or anything but I really need your help. Will you teach me how to fight and survive?"  
>He looked a little taken back. Whatever he was expecting me to ask, that was not it. I would rather take help from anyone else, but Gale was the only man for the job. He hunted in the woods, he could fight, word in the Hob was that he made snares, he was also incredibly fit and I was desperately out of shape.<p>

Gale gave me a small apologetic look. "I'm sorry Emery, I don't think I-"  
>"Please," I begged earnestly.<p>

He looked down on the floor but his eyes landed on my sack. "What's in there?" he asked.

I glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone was looking and then opened the sack. Inside was filled with clothes, toys and other various items from the Capitol. "This was part two of the plan. I was going to give them to Seam families who needed them."

He gave an out of character grin. "This is brilliant," he said, digging deeply in the bag. His eyes were bright like a little boy getting presents for his birthday. "How much did all this cost?"  
>"It was free."<p>

"Idiots," he scoffed. He handed the sack back and looked at me expectantly. "So how are we going to do this?"

"We?" I asked. I was going to run around giving out what I could. If Gale tagged along there was a high chance we could get caught. When I told him this, he rolled his eyes.

"I'm coming, you think you can do this alone? You can tell me this wonderful action plan while we work." He ran into the house and came back out with two balaclavas and my fur hat that I had left inside.

"It may be small," he said, handing me the balaclava. "It's Rory's, but your so little it doesn't matter."

I scowled but he was putting on his own disguse so could not see. I huffed and put on my own mask. My hair got wrapped up though and spread across my face. Gale laughed and pulled it out the way.

"How are you going to make a simple snare if you can't put a balaclava on?" He took back my hat and plonked it on my head over the balaclava.  
>"I'll have such a fabulous tutor," I said, checking my reflection in the window. I looked terrible but I was warm, so didn't care.<p>

He tutted. "Flattery will get you nowhere." He hauled the sack over his shoulder and set off down the road. He was walking so fast I had to run to keep up with him.  
>"So where are we going?" I asked.<p>

"Blank End, it's where the most deprived houses are," he told me.  
>"I know what Blank End is," I snapped. I used to live just two streets away. Everyday I would see a starving person going door to door begging for food.<p>

We walked in silence until we reached the dark narrow street that was Blank End. It was even more run down than Gales street. The holes in some of the walls were so huge you could clearly see the occupants sitting down to breakfast.

Gale strolled up to the first house and knocked briskly on the door. A young haggard woman answered almost immediately. Her eyes widened at the sight of us.

"Please, I don't have much," she begged, thinking we were here to rob her or something.  
>"Don't worry, we're here to help," I said kindly. I wanted to take this stupid mask off but if we were caught or someone let slip of what we were doing, I knew it wouldn't end well.<p>

"May we come in?" The woman nodded warily.

We went inside and found three children playing on the floor. No father was around but a picture of a man dressed in a miners uniform sat proudly on the shelf...  
>Gale opened the sack and showed it to her. "What do you need?"<p>

"I can't afford it," she mumbled.

"It's free. Do you need clothes, food, toys, money... Do we have money?" Gale asked turning to me. I nodded. I didn't have too much with me, but I could spare a bit. The woman was reluctant at first but soon took some bacon and blankets. I also gave her a handful of coins as we left.

Gale and I went from house to house for the next few hours. Some were too proud to accept, some would not let us in, but most were too desperate to care and accepted our donations with open arms. A few children cried at the sight of brand new toys. I had to step outside for a bit of air when that happened; no one could see me tearing up.

"It's good helping people," Gale admitted as we walked along the beaten track to the homes nearer the border of twelve. "Normally I just have enough to feed my family. It hurts to see them starving everyday and being so powerless.

"We're like a Robin Hood team," I said with a small smile.  
>"A what?" he asked skeptically.<p>

"Robin Hood. Oh please tell me you know the story?" I thought everyone knew it. Gale shook his head. "My momma used to read it to me in a book of fairytales. He could've been real though. It was thousands of years ago. Before Panam, even before America. There was a prince who ruled unfairly. The people suffered so Robin used to steal from the rich and give to the poor."

"How did he do that?" Gale asked with interest.  
>"He was a skilled archer," I said but then laughed at the irony. "And he also had help from the beautiful and fair Maid Marian. She was 'friends' with the prince."<p>

Gale scoffed. "You're making that up. Its too similar."

"What are you saying I'm fair and beautiful?" I teased. He blushed and began to protest, but I held up my hand. "_Anyway_, to answer your question, it's true. We used to have a book of fairytales, handed down in the family. He was in there. Robin always stood out to me. He was the savour in the dark. I wonder what happened to that book, it's probably under the rubble of my house..." I'd love to go back to my old house and see if there was anything I could salvage but I didn't think I could face it.

A hand suddenly waved in my face. I turned and saw Gale grinning at me. "You space out a lot, huh?"  
>I gave him a vague smile. "So, have you thought of my offer?"<p>

His smile dropped. "I don't think it's such a good idea," he mumbled. "It's time consuming and dangerous. Those career kids have been training their entire lives, I don't think it would help."

"Oh, ok," I said quietly, trying to hide this disappointment out my voice. "I probably would have quit after a day anyway. So should we get going?"

I gestured to the huts that had just came into view. An awkward silence fell between us as we walked. I had actually had fun today but now I was forced to watch as my last hope walked away from me.

:-:

The next morning before school I went for a run. Just because Gale wouldn't help it didn't mean I would be a sitting duck. I needed to get into shape. Just five minutes in I was puffing and panting but I wouldn't give up. I slowed down into a walk and then lightly jogged back.  
>I showered and then walked to school thinking of a survival plan as I went. I could ask Haymitch for help. He did win the games once and wasn't 100% helpless. I could also phone Finnick or Joanna and ask for tips.<p>

I was late for math yet again but Miss Dragg didn't seem to mind.

"How was the Capitol?" she asked with an excited smile.  
>"Fine," I said vaguely, taking my seat next to Gale, I don't think she would have appreciated the truth.<p>

"I saw photos of you and Finnick Odair in a Capitol magazine my sister in law sent me." A gasp came from the merchant girls as I banged my head on the table. Of course she would have to mention that.

Miss Dragg rummaged through her bag and pulled out a glossy Capitol magazine. A few girls passed it around the class but I snatched it off them.

Across the pages was the headline 'Odair's new woman'. It was fillied with photos of Finnick and I shopping, one of him hugging me after the hunger games fiasco and one of us talking at the ball. I didn't even know these pictures had been taken.  
>"So what happened?" Amy asked excitedly.<p>

"Nothing. We went shopping with Joanna Mason, that is all," I said, visibly annoyed.  
>"Is that her?" Gale asked pointing to someone's arm in the corner of a picture.<p>

"Must be," I mumbled. It was amazing how easy the Capitol could manipulate a situation. With just a few words and some clever cropping, I was the Capitol whores new play thing.

"_Emily Abernathy, daughter of D12 victor Haymitch, has been spending a lot of time with Mr Odair lately. Looks like our favourite boy has found a new play thing. Let's see how long it lasts_..."

They couldn't even get my name right. Miss Dragg settled the class down before beginning the lesson again.

There was no words to describe how angry I was. First the Capitol took away my childhood, then they took away my future and now, with just a few months of my life left, I was being ridiculed in front of everyone. Like always I welcomed the bell for English happily.

"Hey Emery," Gale called as I stormed out. I held back in shock, he never spoke to me in public. "Why did you give my mom the doll?"  
>"Because it was Posy's birthday." Did he really need to ask me that. It was obvious, wasn't it?<p>

"No but why didn't you give it to her. It was off you?"  
>I shrugged. "I don't know, I thought it would mean more if it came from her. I'm sorry, but I need to get to class." I gave him a small wave and headed to English.<p>

Gym was fun as usual. I actually tried for once though. We had to climb a rope and I made it half way up. My upper body strength was weak. I needed to work on that. I was quite proud at my progress though. You never knew, maybe rope climbing would come in handy in the arena.

Peeta was a little miffed that I never came to see him yesterday but he understood that I was 'tired.' When I went back to the changing room a small note was left inside my locker. I checked to see if anyone was around before opening it.

_Meet me in the meadow at five am on Saturday - Gale_.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks so much for all the reviews, sorry i didnt give shout outs before. Thanks to <em>Ravenclaw slytherin, lolmellark123, whistle in the wind, silensflos, keepinthesecret, talee, tswifthg, emmettcullenlover7, magic4ever, bubbleduck123, stayingalive22, crazy-forever, kaitaru Sera Viktoria Hatake and anyone else I may have missed. <em>**

**_Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think : )_**


	10. The Training

C H A P T E R N I N E

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><p>Tranquil as a forest, But on fire within<br>Once you find your centre, You are sure to win  
>You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot<br>And you haven't got a clue  
>Somehow I'll make a man out of you<p>

I'm never gonna catch my breath  
>Say goodbye to those who knew me<br>Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym

Be a man, You must be swift as a coursing river  
>Be a man, With all the force of a great typhoon<br>Be a man, With all the strength of a raging fire  
>Mysterious as the dark side of the moon<br>_- I'll Make a Man Out of You, Mulan Cast_

* * *

><p>Saturday could not come quick enough. In true Gale fashion, he did not speak to me for the rest of the week. I was a little wary of him though, he had more mood swings than a pregnant woman. One moment he would joke, then he was cruel, then he'd apologise, then he'd sneer at me, flirt, be quite tolerable, then me mean to me and then the process would begin again.<p>

He was the most indecisive person I had ever met. I wasn't 100% convinced that he would come on Saturday, but I still got up at four thirty all the same.

I didn't know how long we would be so I had to blow off my plans with Peeta and Madge but I could catch up with them anytime, this was more important. I dressed in grey sweatpants, a tank top and a hoodie, all courtesy of the Capitol and made my way to the Seam. It was a little chilly but hopefully I would warm up once I was moving.

The streets were pretty dead, considering the time, but I was still very wary of my surroundings. Training for the games was illegal. Sure, districts one, two and four did it, but they were favourites of the Capitol. I didn't think they would take it too kindly if children of twelve were training and providing hope. Besides, their stupid revenge at Haymitch plan would not work if I could fight and win.

_No not win Emery_, I thought desperately. _Don't get your hopes up. Just fight, and go as far as possible. Don't roll over and take it, never give in._  
>Oakham had welcomed death but I had escaped it so many times that I would never accept my fate. That's what the Capitol wanted and if I was to die then I would put up the fight of my life.<p>

The meadow was foggy and it took me a few minutes to spot the grey shadow standing beneath a tree. Checking over my shoulder, I jogged over. Gale stood lazily under the tree looking tired but determined.

"Hello," I said awkwardly. He smiled and looked down at the tatty cracked watch on his wrist.  
>"Five minutes early, someone's eager."<p>

I shrugged. "It's important. So what are your conditions, how much money do you want?"

"We'll decide that later but for now I'm just asking for you to keep this a secret."

I scoffed. "Because training for the games with you is something I want to advertise." I mentally kicked myself at the harshness of my tone but he didn't mind. He actually looked amused. A grin crossed his face but he masked it quickly.

"Just keep it quiet. Now come on." He walked across further into the trees until we came to the metal fence which was the boundary of the district.

"We're going in there?" I asked skeptically. The fence was powered with electricity twenty four seven, was he trying to get us killed.  
>"Who knew you were such a wuss? Listen."<p>

I put my ear again the fence and heard nothing. It was off. "Fair enough," I said, getting onto the floor and sliding under after him. It was easy to get in. Suddenly I wasn't so impressed with their hunting scheme. But no one else had thought of it so the joke was on us.

I followed Gale in silence for about five minutes before we came into a clearing. He ordered me to tie my hair up. Cold air whipped around my neck but I couldn't moan. I had to be tough and suck it up.

"Katniss will be here at seven so you'll need to leave at quarter to. We go and sell eleven so come back at around two thirty," he told me, taking of his jacket and placing it on the floor. I decided to do the same, despite the cold.

"Come back? Don't you mind wasting your day?" I asked.  
>"Once a week for six months, it'll be a miracle if we get through half. So, what can you do?" He stood opposite me.<p>

I stood with me feet shoulder width apart and balled up my fists, making sure my thumbs were on the outside.

"Good, continue."  
>I screwed up my face and cringed. "That's all I know," I mumbled.<p>

"That's all you- ok, never mind," he said shaking his head. He mirrored my stance. "Hit me."

My eyes widened but I had to do this. I punched him in the stomach. His bored expression never wavered.

"That was pathetic. Harder." I punched me with more force, but his face still never changed. "Harder." I punched him with everything in me. "Harder." He was annoying me now. I drew my arm back and punched him square in the stomach. He stumbled back slightly.

"Good, but could be improved. That would have only gained you about two seconds and it was predictable."

We spent the next hour and a half throwing punches and blocking. It was frustrating how bad I was. I had underestimated how hard this was. If I could not defend myself from an underfed sixteen year old, then how could I deal with trained killers?

At 6:45 Gale left to collect his snares while I made my way back to the town. There were more people around now, setting up their things for the day. Despite my lack of understanding, I felt quite accomplished. I had snuck into the woods and actually learned a few hints and tips. It was obvious I needed to try harder on the weights, but in time that would come.

I went straight to bed when I got back home and slept until ten. Haymitch still wasn't awake when I got up. I dressed more properly than my morning attire and walked to the bakery.

"Ah, she's alive!" Peeta said as I walked through the door. I rolled my eyes but still felt a little guilty.

"Hahaha, your so funny," I said monotonously. I hoisted myself up onto the counter and sat there until Tiger pushed me down. I glared at him and sat crossed leg on the window ledge, he couldn't moan at me for doing that.

"So, How is Peeta?" I asked my friend.

"Peeta is good," he answered smiling slightly, he couldn't stay mad at me forever. "How is Emery?"  
>"She is lonely without Peeta."<p>

Tiger threw his fork down on the counter. "Will you two shut up."

Peeta and I looked at each other, his eyes sparkling with amusement. I began to laugh and had to look down to contain it.

"When do you get off later?" I asked.  
>"About two."<p>

I inwardly groaned. "Could we somehow make that twelve?"

He looked down and shook his head, but his hands began to work faster, rolling the bread with such speed he had a new batch in the oven in under a minute.

"What are those, buns?" He nodded. "I'll take six when they're done."  
>"I've got some in the back," Tiger said, running out and grabbing me a bagful. He really was desperate to get rid of me.<p>

"You really love me don't you Tiger," I said sarcastically.

"More than life itself," he said dully. "And as much as I enjoy these little chats, can you please leave. You're distracting the workers."

I took my bag and gave him the money.

"I'll see you at two?" Peeta asked hopefully.  
>"I'm a busy bee. How about tomorrow, we're going to make Pancakes!" I said excitedly, suddenly remembering the recipe I had taken from the Capitol.<p>

"Pan-what?"

"All will be revealed tomorrow." I waved goodbye and went to the butchers.

Rooba had just had a delivery from 'those two Seam kids'. I tried my best to hide my grin. I brought two turkey legs before going back home.

Haymitch was finally awake when I got to the kitchen. He looked up at me dully with the same sad expression that had been on his face since our return.  
>"Stop looking at me like that Haymitch," I said quietly cutting the buns in half.<p>

"Like what?" he muttered darkly.  
>"Like I'm about to die."<p>

"You are about to die." He took a swig of his drink, the liquid sloshing down his front. I sighed and marched over to him, snatching the bottle from his hands and throwing it to the floor. It shattered into a thousand pieces.

"Don't you dare give up on me," I said, tears brimming in my eyes. I turned away back to the sandwiches, not wanting him to see me cry. I buttered the buns and placed bits of turkey on them.

When I turned back around Haymitch was still staring at me dumbfound. I placed his plate in front of him and looked down guiltily.

"Haymitch I'm sorry, just get some more."

My words seemed to snap him back into reality, but he still did not go and get another bottle. Instead he sat quietly and ate his turkey sandwich. I made one for myself and then two extra for when I saw Gale later, it was the least I could do.

After he had eaten, Haymitch picked up the knife next to him and began to stab it in the table. It was quite pathetic how bad his aim was, but I suppose that's what years of alcohol did to you.

"So where did you go earlier?" He asked, still playing with his knife.  
>"The bakery and the butchers," I said, my eyes fixed on my sandwich. I looked up at him and put on my best blank and innocent face.<p>

"It's no point looking so innocent, I heard you sneak out at five," he said. Damn it.  
>"I went for a run," I said simply, taking a huge bite out of my sandwich. If I was chewing, I didn't have to answer his questions. He let it go though, but there was still suspicion in his eyes. Great, that was Peeta and Haymitch who knew something was up. This was going to be harder than I thought.<p>

After I had eaten I decided to pay a quick visit to Madge. I felt bad for always overlooking her. I spent a lot of my free time with Peeta and completely forgot about Madge half of the time. I stayed with her until one, then I had to get ready for round two with Gale.

"Oh by the way. Do you want to come to my house for breakfast at around ten. I'm making Peeta cook," I said with a grin.

She laughed kindly. "Sure, why not."

I said my goodbyes and then went home. I needed to somehow get in with Haymitch noticing, but that would be a difficult task since he had become so observant.

I climbed over the wall of the pathway and shimmied down the fences until I came to our house. I lept onto the top of the porch but went over of my left ankle in the process. There was a loud crash where a tile slipped off the roof. I quickly jumped into my window before Haymitch could come out and assess the damage.

When I tore up my pants my ankle was swollen already. Great, I was meeting Gale in an hour. How was I supposed to train like this? I couldn't blow him off on the first day. Putting on a brave face was my only option.

I put on my clothes from earlier and went to the window. It looked even more difficult to get down. I sat down and shifted myself to the edge of the roof. I slid down onto the ledge making sure to land on my right foot.

Once I was down, I hobbled to the meadow. It hurt too much but I had to power through. When I got to the meadow there was no sign of Gale, just a few children playing.

Maybe Gale had gone back into the woods, not wanting to wait. I went into the trees and crawled under the fence, feeling quite rebellious. It was amazing how free I felt. But I didn't like being in the open.

I limped through the trees to the clearing we were in earlier. My foot felt a little better now but I knew it would kill in the morning. I sat down against a tree and began to impatiently drum my fingers on the floor.

As I heard rustling further on in the trees I began to worry. Maybe I should have waited in the meadow. This place was filled with wild animals and all I had to defend myself was a limited knowledge of fighting and two turkey sandwiches.

I stood up to leave and hobbled in the general direction of the fence. I pulled back the foliage and froze. There was a bear in the distance just a few metres away from me.

I did not move but it was too late, he had seen me. He let out a low cry before making its way toward me. I took a step back, desperately raking my mind for things to do. If I ran he would attack but he seemed pretty mad already. It was a little early for the end of hibernation and this guy looked hungry.

He trotted forward as I backed away, looking for a weapon to defend myself. There was a large branch a few metres away, but I knew that would do nothing.

The bear growled at me, gnashing his teeth. This wasn't a normal bear. There was traces of mutt in him. He was too large and too angry. It's pupils we're blood red.

I had to run, there was no backing down. I looked behind him back and saw a gap in the trees. I had to try, I couldn't just sit and wait to die. I could never out run it, but maybe if I got near enough to the fence someone could hear my cries. Screw the trespassing law, I was a dead girl anyway.

I braced myself and then sprinted forward, grabbing the branch as I ran. My foot hurt so badly but I couldn't stop. I could hear the bear behind me. I swung the branch behind me without turning around, my focus on running.

He let out a loud wail. I had hit him.

I continued to run but my ankle gave way. I let out a cry but scrambled back up. The precious seconds I had gained from hitting him had been lost and the monster was gaining quickly.

But suddenly he let out a loud cry before hitting me on my back, collapsing on top of me, it's claws scratching my shoulder. This was it, he was going to eat me.

But he didn't move. He lay crushing me. I tried to pull myself out but he was too heavy. I was vaguely aware that my head was bleeding but I didn't care.

A pair of shoes came running into my view before the person they belonged to bent down. Gale. He threw down his bow and lifted up the bears arm. I pulled myself out, placing my sleave to my head, it wasn't too bad. Neither was my back. It was just a scratch.

"Are you ok?" Gale asked, cupping my face and checking my wounds.

"I'm fine." I swatted his hands away and gave him a weak smile. His expression turned murderous.

"What were you doing out here? You could have been killed. Don't you realise how dangerous it is out here. When I heard your scream... When I saw you..." He kicked a stone angrily across the dirt.

"Chill out. I'm sorry ok, lesson learned. Can't you just sell the meat and forget the whole thing?"

He retrieved his arrows from the bear and lifted up its eye lid. "As suspected its a mutt," he said quietly. "Can't eat it. I could skin it though and sell the fur."

I sat against a tree and tried to regain myself as Gale took his knife out and skinned the fur off the animal. I had to look away; it was disgusting.

"Weak stomach," Gale smirked, watching me cringe. I screwed up my nose but didn't say anything.  
>There was an awkward silence while he cut away the fur. About half way through he gave up. "I won't sell this much anyway." He dumped it in a pile on the floor and turned to me.<p>

"Don't you ever come in here alone again, understand me?"  
>I nodded slowly. "Thanks by the way," I mumbled. He gave me a curt nod before pulling me up.<p>

"How are your injuries?" he asked, cleaning up my cut with the canteen of water he had tied to his belt. A tingle ran throughout my head.

"Fine," I said, ignoring the pain in my ankle. "Oh I almost forgot. I made you this." I dug through my pockets and pulled out the squished turkey sandwiches. They looked gross but Gale's eyes widened.

"This is real bread," he said in wonder, taking it off me. "Wow, I've never even had bread made with flour before. Thanks." He scoffed it in seconds so I offered him mine. He declined.

"I had a big lunch," I lied. He devoured it immediately. His reaction was cute and I didn't want to spoilt it. Plus, he had saved my life. A measly sandwich was the least I could do.

"Ok, we'll practise what we did earlier and then move on to some kicks. You do need to start doing weights though."

Recapping punches and blocks was fine, it was kicks that was the problem. My ankle was weak and couldn't support my body weight. I fell over immediately. Gale rushed to my side and pulled up my pants leg. My entire ankle was swollen purple.

"How'd you do this. It wasn't the bear, it's too soon."  
>"I did it sneaking out," I mumbled, feeling embarrassed. Great first day we were having.<p>

"And yet you still came?" he asked rhetorically, smiling slightly. "Sorry but we need to get you checked out, it could be broken." He sighed before picking me up bridal style and walking to the fence. I uselessly swatted my hands around.

"What are you doing put me down!" I cried.

"I'm taking you to a healer. You need help," he said simply.  
>"What about the secrecy thing, that lasted long," I snapped.<p>

"I'll think of something." We had reached the fence now. He put me down before sliding under. I followed with the intent to walk the rest of the way but he picked me up as soon as I was on the other side.

The sky was cloudy and was beginning to darken so thankfully not may people were around. He led us just a few houses down from the meadow to a shack that was falling apart. I was surprised to see a goat and a cat in the front garden. It hissed at us as we passed.

Gale knocked on the door loudly before letting himself in. "Mrs Everdeen," he called. Wait, Everdeen? This was Katniss' house.

A girl of around ten and a woman, who both looked like merchants, sat at the table. I had seen the girl hanging around the bakery occasionally. It was pretty embarrassing being carried in like an invalid but Mrs Everdeen rushed to my side immediately.

"What happened?" she asked, getting Gale to put me down on a chair.  
>"She was attacked, probably for her possessions. I found her at the side of the road," he lied smoothly. "Her left ankles in a bad state."<p>

Mrs Everdeen pulled up my pants leg and gasped. "Prim go to the barrel. There still should be ice in there." The little blonde girl ran out side with a cloth in hand.

I felt a tugging at my shirt and saw Posy looking up at me with her huge innocent eyes. "Are you ok Emily?"

"I'm fine Posy," I said, putting on my best smile. I looked into the small living room an saw the entire Hawthorne clan staring at me. Great.

Posy tried to sit on my lap but Gale picked her up and held her in his arms. This time I didn't protest. I was pleased to see the little Capitol doll squeezed securely under her arm.

"Hey Gale, what's wrong with your girlfriend?" Rory sneered.  
>"She's not my girlfriend," Gale mumbled, looking frantically around the room.<p>

"She's not here," Mrs Everdeen said with a smile. Who wasn't here? Oh wait, Katniss. I knew there was something going on between them.

Prim came running back in and placed the cloth on my ankle. It was so cool and soothed it immediately. I let out an involuntary gasp of relief.

For the next ten minutes Mrs Everdeen treated my injuries. She was a very good healer. I bet she could easily become a doctor if she wanted to.

All was going fine until she noticed the small scratches on my back. "Mugged and attacked?" She whispered to Gale and I. We looked down but she had a strange look of amusement in her eyes that was gone before I had time to register it. But she didn't ask any questions. I suppose with the amount of people that came in, she'd be here for years if she had to query everything.

It took an hour for her to sort me out and the sky was now very dark.

"It's a miracle its not broken," Mrs Everdeen said, wrapping my ankle tightly in bandages. "But it's a bad sprain. Try not to walk on it for at least a week."  
>"A week?" I asked.<p>

"And no strenuous activity for a month," she continued.  
>"A month!"<br>"Yes a month," she snapped. "Or you'll be here again." She gave me a spoonful of medicine before leaving to get more bandages.

I had to stay still for a month. How was I supposed to train. There wasn't enough time as it was. Fate hated me. First day of practise and I was almost mauled by a bear and deemed an invalid for a month. Six months of training had been whittled down to five in just a day.

At some point while she was treating me, I drifted off into a dreamless sleep. When I woke up it was completely dark outside and the moon was high in the sky.

"Shit," I mumbled sitting up and grabbing my things. I tried to stand but my foot gave way. The Hawthorne's, minus Gale, had all left and been replaced by Katniss. Thank goodness I was asleep and didn't have to face her questions.

"What time is it?" I asked, trying to stand up again. Gale and Mrs Everdeen came over to the table and sat me back down.

"Just after ten," Katniss called from the living room. She looked quite wary and shocked that I was in her kitchen. Her eyes flickered to the scratches on my back. She wasn't an idiot. She must have known where I was.

"I need to get home," I said earnestly.  
>"You are welcome to stay here," Mrs Everdeen said.<p>

I shook my head. "I can't. Haymitch will be worried." _I think_, I added silently.

"But you can't-"  
>"I'll take her," Gale cut in. "I best be getting off anyway."<p>

Katniss stood up and opened the door as he embarrassingly scooped me up in his arms.

"Oh wait," I said digging into my pockets and pulling out a fistful of coins. "Thanks." She didn't protest.  
>"I'll see you tomorrow," Katniss muttered to Gale before swinging the door shut behind us.<p>

The night air was bitter and cold against my bare back. I let out an involuntary shudder as my teeth shattered.

Gale rolled his eyes and put me down on a battered bench outside the house. He took off his jacket and hung it over my shoulders.

"Oh no, I'm fine," I said, taking it off. But I was already back in his arms and walking.  
>"I'm used to the cold," he said simply. I relaxed into his arms, my tiredness overpowering my dignity. As much as it pained me to admit it, it was quite comfy and warm in his arms. He smelt woodsy and the scent alone was enough to send me to sleep, but I had to keep awake.<p>

"So what do we do?" I asked sleepily, trying to wake myself up. "About the training," I added.  
>"We resume after you're better," he said professionally.<p>

"But I'm fine. I want to learn now!" Gosh I was whinny, but I couldn't stop myself. Whatever Mrs Everdeen had given me was sending my brain the mush.

"You're not fine. Don't worry as long as you don't go running back in the woods alone again, you'll be ok. Promise me."  
>I looked up and saw his amused grin from earlier had disappeared. "I promise," I said, snuggling back into his chest.<p>

I must have dosed off again because before I knew it we were in the Victor's Village. The lights from my house were all turned on and I could see people moving in the windows. Someone in a peacekeepers uniform ran to the window as we walked up the steps, shouting inaudible orders.

The front door swung open before Gale had even knocked. Peeta stood their with a frantic expression on his worried face. Madge, Darius and a Peacekeeper I didn't know stood behind them while Haymitch hung in the background, a bottle of whiskey at hand.

"See I told you she'd be-" Haymitch stopped when he saw the state I was in. Peeta rushed forward and tried to take me off Gale but he held a firm grip on me. He settled for moving out the way and guiding us to the sofa. Gale softly put me down before stretching out his arms.

"What happened, are you ok?" Peeta asked, collapsing on the floor beside me. "Madge came over to give you strawberries but when you didn't come back for hours she began to worry. We couldn't find you anywhere."

He looked so upset it broke my heart. I hated lying to him but I had to. Especially with Peacekeepers around.

"I was attacked and mugged. Gale found me and took me to the Everdeen's to heal me up." A gasp rang throughout the room. "It's really not as bad as it sounds. It's just my ankle really. I've sprained it and can't walk."

Madge came and sat beside Peeta. "I was so worried Em."  
>"I'm fine really. All thanks to Gale really." I wanted him to have some credit for this. He always seemed to be over looked.<p>

Darius and the other peacekeeper asked me questions about my attacker but I said I couldn't see anything. In all honesty I just wanted to sleep; it had been a long day. My eyes closed somewhere between Madge's cry and Darius' damsel in distress joke.

When I woke again, it was morning. I hated this lack of control I had over my consciousness. I had to remember to never have that medicine again. I was still on the sofa when I regained consciousness. Peeta was still asleep on the floor as Madge lay snoring on the chair. I could hear rattling from the kitchen. I knew I shouldn't be walking but if I had to stay in the living room for a week I'd go mad.

I grabbed a broom that had been left out and hopped to the kitchen, using the stick as support. Haymitch sat at the table with a cup of coffee and a slice of plain bread.

"Morning sweetheart," he called. "Quite the ordeal we had yesterday."  
>"Yes, I heard you were quite concerned." I sat down and pulled over another chair for my bad leg to rest on.<p>

"I was. Those muggers must have been vicious. Claws and everything." He pointed to where Gale's jacket had slipped down. The scratches from the bear were obviously visible. I pulled it back up to cover my shoulder but the damage was done.

Haymitch gave me a rue smile before pulling up his sleave revealing three faint gashes similar to mine. I inspected them for a second before taking a slice of bread from the loaf on the table. As always he never asked me, so I never asked him. I was dying to know what his encounter was but that would mean spilling the beans on my adventure yesterday.

"I'm surprised you're not drinking," I said, eager to change the subject. Haymitch picked up his coffee and held it up to my nose. I took a whiff. Brandy. I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously? Ten am. When are you going to tone it down?"  
>"When are you going to tell me what's going on with you and that hunting kid," he said childishly.<p>

"One, his names Gale and two we're just friends. You make it sound like we're sneaking off together."

"You said it not me," he mumbled, taking a sip of his coffee. I snatched it off him and took a huge gulp myself. It warmed up my cold and empty stomach. Haymitch let me keep it and poured himself another cup.

"Oh, I almost forgot." He walked into the hallway and came back with a large box. My name and the Capitol seal was emblazoned onto the front. I gulped and snuck a look in the living room. Both my friends were still asleep.

_I hastily opened the box and pulled out the letter that was rested on top._

_Hello Emery, this is Finnick Odair, we met in the Capitol._  
><em>I heard you're interested in tying knots so I've drawn you some examples of ones you may like to learn.<em>

_I'd also like to say that both Jo and I really enjoyed your company on the victory tour. Jo especially loved the shopping. I do have to admit that cute and innocent dress really suited you. There was something quite mysterious about it. We think you should go with that look more often._

_Hope to see you soon. Keep practising your knots._

_Finnick Odair._

_Ps. I've enclosed some records from old America I thought you may like. You didn't really seem into the Capitol stuff._

I let out a sigh of relief and read through the letter again. To any peacekeeper checking through the letter, it was fine and completely innocent. But it was filled with hidden messages.

First of all he had sent me the knots to learn for the games. Secondly, he thought I should go with Joanna's helpless strategy that led her to victor, but add more mystery so that I wasn't a target. But I didn't really get why he sent me music, I supposed it was to cheer me up.

I stashed the box away when Peeta and Madge awoken. They were both very worried about my attack but I assured them that I was fine.

The morning was actually quite carefree. Peeta attempted to make pancakes while Madge and I threw flour at him. I didn't know but apparently you had to flip the batter. That was very interesting, but he figured it out soon enough.

I was quite sad to see them leave at noon but they had spent the night and had prior commitments.

I had no idea how I was going to cope with a week of being stuck in the house. But Haymitch brought down the record player and I listened to Finnick's gift. It was a great way to pass time and soon enough I knew most of the lyrics.

Some of the artists such as _The Beatles_ and _Ed Sheeran_ I liked straight away but some I didn't.  
>He had sent me a crazy woman with freaky long Capitol legs called <em>Nicki M<em>- something. At first she annoyed me like hell but after I was forced to listen to her, I realised she wasn't too bad.

There were some positives to being housebound. I didn't have to go to that stupid school. But when the week was up I couldn't take it anymore. And even though I could walk, training was still off for another three weeks.

I practiced Finnick's knots religiously and Peeta gave me advice on wrestling. He was very protective of me now and didn't want me to get mugged again.

A mysterious book about edible plants was also left on the porch one day with no note attached to it. I had a good idea who that was from.

Gale pretended to be aloof but I knew there was a small part of him that cared. He wouldn't have done the things he did if he didn't. And as much as it pained me to admit, his company wasn't completely awful. But I owed him. Big time.

* * *

><p><strong>Hello, I am so sorry that I haven't updated. But my great aunt died and I had to go to Paris for her funeral. I didnt know her very well but my nanna was devistated so my brother and I stayed with her for a week. It wasnt too dull though, we went to disneyland and went sight seeing. It was actually quite fun.<br>So as an apology, ive written this long chapter. Borderline dragging on, but I dont care. Next chapter will be a lot more interesting. It depends how the word count goes, but it may contain the reaping... But I've already started it so expect it to be up Wednesday or Thursday.**

**I want to thank everyone who reviewed last chapter. There was loads so thank you so much. _BakaBlack13, iris129, Supernovaserenity, lolamellark123, Lauren, Lou the Third, May, La-Lucy, crazy-forever, Ravenclaw Slytherin, StayingAlive223, KeepingTheSecret, SilensFlos._**


	11. The Lake

C H A P T E R T E N

* * *

><p>There's a boy across the river with short black curly hair<br>I want to be his lover but I want to be his peer  
>There's a boy across the river but alas, I cannot swim<br>And I never will get to put my arms around him  
><em>- Alas I Cannot Swim, Laura Marling<em>

* * *

><p>"Again," Gale said in the same bored tone.<p>

"Again?" I whined. We had been at it for hours and my joints were beginning to ache. He nodded patronisingly. I huffed but did as he asked, sending various kicks and punches toward him.

It was early June and reaping was less than two weeks away. As soon as I was deemed able after my accident I was back in the woods with Gale. And, if I may say so myself, I was pretty good. Not half as good as the careers and if two of them jumped me, I would be a gonner. But for someone who had been through just five months of training, I was good. Better than good really.

I could fight, throw a knife on target, dual with a sword, shoot an arrow (though my aim was off). Gale had also thought me various survival skills. We had covered basically everything and I was sure to be the best all rounder there. After I had completed the sequence, Gale crossed his arms and walked over to the large sticks we had been using as swords and spears.

"That was too weak," he commented.  
>"I told you, I don't like hitting you." One time I kicked him in the temple and cut his eyebrow. I had been a little reserved ever since.<p>

"Don't give me excuses, you weren't trying." He handed me a stick as I bit my tongue.

We were constantly arguing. He would mock me, I would retaliate with a snooty comment. He would say how I wasn't appreciative of his help, I would say how he wasn't appreciative of my efforts. We would end the session in a mood and not talk all week. But yet, every Saturday morning, despite our differences, he would be waiting for me in the meadow.  
>However soon we realised that once a week was not enough so we would meet twice, sometimes three times. And as the nights became lighter, we would come after school. Initially there was a lot of suspicion, but by now, no one cared. I felt guilty about drifting away from my friends but it was that or my life.<p>

"Now no reservations," he said, snapping me back to earth. "Just fight me, for the next five minutes I'm not Gale."  
>"Who are you then," I said, twisting and twirling the stick in my hand.<p>

He grabbed my hands to stop me. "Take in seriously," he scolded. "Now on the count of three."

I braced myself and waited for the countdown to end. He launched at me, but I blocked him with my stick. I ducked as he brought it over my head and did a low spinning heel kick across his ankles, knocking him to the floor. I stood up triumphantly but he did the same to me. My stick went flying as I fell to the ground. Gale was beginning to scramble up, I needed to move fast. I swung my legs back and flipped off the floor, getting into a standing position before Gale had even stood up properly. He looked at me with wide eyes at my maneuver, but it was too late. I picked up the two fallen sticks from the ground and pointed them at him. A small smile spread across his lips.

"Good. You've finally got it." I grinned and threw the sticks down, trying my best to contain the happy dance that was bubbling up inside of me. "That flip was good, I didn't know you could do that," he complimented.

"I've been practising in my room. You said it was all about the element of surprise." He sat down against a tree and crossed his legs. I did the same and sat opposite. Digging through my pockets, I took out two cheese sandwiches.

"Sorry it's not more. The people who catch the game have really been lacking lately," I joked cheekily. Gale took his sandwich as him expression remained impassive.  
>"Yeah, I hear the guy that gets it has been helping this brat train." I hit his arm.<p>

"Hey, I thought we were passed the name calling."  
>"But you are a brat," he shrugged.<p>

There was a long silence as we ate. Despite our strange friendship there was still the underling thought of our status. I was from the Victors Village and he was from the Seam. It didn't matter to me where we were from but it mattered to Gale. He loathed the merchant kids with their easy lives and I was one of them. And being a 'victors daughter' I was the worst of the worst.

"Hey Emery?" He called breaking the silence. "All of this is just a precaution, right? There's no way you can be chosen. Your names only in there four times." His tone was strained, like he was trying to convince himself. As the reaping drew nearer, it was becoming harder by the day. I often woke up shaking in the night. I put on my best reassuring smile for Gale.

"Yeah, I may not even be reaped. It's could be Haymitch being paranoid, you know what he's like when it comes to the games and the Capitol."

"I hate them," he said suddenly, with such vemon in his voice that I shrunk back. "I just wish we could do something to show that they're not in charge."  
>"But they are in charge."<p>

"Yes but without the districts they'd be nothing. What would happen if no one worked at the mines?" he asked smartly.

"No one would get any money and there'd be even more famine," I said hysterically. I really hated when he was in one of these moods. He sighed heavily and threw a stone angrily across the clearing.  
>"You know that's not what I meant."<p>

"I know what you meant," I mumbled quickly. "But you can't start a rebellion all by yourself. We got the games last time, imagine what they'd do to us if we rebelled again."

He scoffed. "We can't hold back because of what ifs..."

"No but we can't be reckless. Something needs to happen, a spark to set it all off. But until then there's no point causing trouble. You're no good to anyone on a noose Gale."

We looked at each other for a long while, neither of us wanting to breakaway. He sighed in defeat and looked down. A triumphant grin was plastered across my face but I let it fall as I didn't want to rub it in. We fell into another awkward silence as I slowly ate my sandwich. I was starving but eating was just something to do.

"What now teach," I said after he had enough time to sulk.

"I think we've covered almost everything. What about arena's. Can you climb?" I nodded. "Can you swim?" I froze.

"Oh my god Gale, I can't swim. We have eleven days and I can't swim. What am I going to-" He put his hand over my mouth.  
>"Relax Em. There's a lake about an hours walk away. Do you want to go?" I looked down at my attire. I was no way dressed for getting wet, but I could hardly turn the opportunity down. Especially after my mini panic attack.<p>

As we walked through the trees, Gale quizzed me on the plants we passed. He would point them out, ask me their names and uses and if they were edible or not.

"Is nightlock just lethal if ingested?" I asked as we passed a bush of the little black berries.  
>"What do you mean?" he asked.<p>

"I don't know. Could you coat a dart with them or something," I said with an embarressed smile. He turned around and gapped at me in shock, but there was a look of amusement in his eyes.  
>"You're lethal you know. But yeah, I suppose you could. I can say I've never tried it though." I processed the information as we walked. If I couldn't get any weapons at the cornucopia, I could easily make a dart or steak and soak it in nightlock juice, that is if there were any in the arena.<p>

After about an hour we came to a beautiful lake. It was so marvellous, I caught my breath. The clear blue water glistened in the sun as various plants popped up around the edge. It was so peaceful yet so full of life with the little fishes that inhabited the depths. It was a shame that no one knew it was here. I bet I was part of a only a handful of people who had witnessed its beauty.

"Wow," I whispered. It was all I could muster. Gale smiled and bent down to the plants at the waters edge.

"This is water cabbage and see the white flowers over there, that's Katniss."  
>"Katniss?" I asked with a grin. He nodded and pulled a leaf off the cabbage.<p>

"Both are edible but this one could easily be mistaken for a drew plant. Note the markings." I took the leaf and studied the vines before ripping a piece off and chewing it cautiously. It was bland but I suppose if I was starving, it wouldn't matter.

"So, ready for your swimming lesson?" I gulped as Gale set down his things and made his way to the waters edge. I did my best to look away as he took of his shirt. We didn't need a repeat performance of last time. He seemed to notice my uncomfortableness though.

"I knew you liked me better shirtless," he said, turning so his toned stomach faced me. I scoffed and did my best to hide the blush that was threatening my cheeks.  
>"Don't flatter yourself doll face."<p>

He threw off his pants before diving professionally in the water. He bobbed up not seconds later. "So are you coming in or have I rendered you speechless," he smirked.

I glared. Two could play at this game. I kicked off my boots and shimmied out my pants before I slowly took off my tshirt. I was glad I was wearing dark blue current underwear, not the tatty stuff I still owned but never got round to throwing away. As I tore away my shirt, I could see Gale gapping at me in the water. I felt a little exposed as he stared at my lacy bra but I the opportunity was there and I had to get my own back.

"I see I've rendered you speechless," I quoted, making my way over to the bank. He did not speak but instead looked out onto the water, just as I did earlier. I sat down on the edge so my feet were dangling into the pool and lowered myself in. The water was warm and my feet thankfully touched the ground.

"So what now," I asked as he swam over to me. He took my hands and led me over to a deeper arena where I could barely stand. I began to panic slightly. Was he crazy. I could quite easily drowned and no one knew where I was.

"You're going to really have to trust me on this one," he told me. I took some calming breaths before nodding. "Ok, lie on your back and relax."

I tipped my head back but went under, the water flooding my mouth. Gale had a good hold on me though and pulled me back up. He put his hands on my lower back causing tingles to run up my spine. Stupid tickle spot.

"Just relax. Seriously don't panic. You're fine, I've got you. Close your eyes if it helps." I complied and relaxed my muscles as though I was going to sleep. My butt rose up as I floated to the top. I could vaguely hear Gale's praises but I didn't want to lose my concentration. His arms moved from under me as I stayed a float by myself. But I panicked and sunk back underwater. However I was prepared and managed to fight my back back up with little help from Gale.

"You were doing fine, why did you panic?" he asked as I unsuccessfully brushed the water from my eyes.

"Sorry, let me try myself this time." I had to be fearless. Sure the water was scary but I needed to do this now. There may not be another opportunity. I relaxed like before as my body floated to the surface. I did my best not to move.

"Great, kick your feet." I splashed them around but almost sunk again. "Lightly but quickly, barely move them." I followed his commandment and found myself moving slowly across the water. He swam on his front to meet me.

"Look at me, I'm swimming," I said, as a dribbled of water seeped into my mouth. I spat it out but lost my concentration. Gale caught my waist. My feet searched for the bottom but it was not there; we had gone too far out. I instinctively put my arms around his neck as he laughed. "It's not funny, I could have died," I pouted.

"We could both die if you continue to strangle me." I grinned and slightly released my grip, but only slightly. He continued to swim with me attached to his neck. It was quite relaxing to flow through the water without a care, but the further we went out, the more I began to panic.

"Can you stop showing off?" I called, feeling a little insecure.  
>"Are you scared," he teased.<p>

"Yes," I answered bluntly. He smirked at me before swimming back to shore. Once we were in the shallow end, I put my feet firmly on the ground. When I looked back up, Gale was turned away from me, his shoulders shaking with laughter. I grabbed his arm and spun him around to face me.

"Hey, why are you laughing?" I asked, the smile evident in my voice.

"For someone who acts so tough, you sure are a wimp."

"Don't call me a wimp, I've been very brave today." It was my first time in water. I thought I had done remarkably well.  
>He snorted. "Keep telling yourself that."<p>

I narrowed my eyes at him before running my hands along the surface, throwing water at his face. "Oops," I said indifferently, bracing myself for the wave that was about to come. The water sparkled across his olive skin as he smirked wickedly at me.

"So you want to play?" he ducked down under the surface. I could see him swimming toward me through the clear water. I tried to run away but he pulled me under. I kicked him away hard, spluttering as I resurfaced, he laughing beside me.

"You're mean," I sulked, flicking water at him. He cupped his hands and scooped up the water, drenching my hair. It was full out war as we splashed each other, squealing and laughing as we did so. Well I was squealing, he probably did this all the time. He began to back away into the deeper part of the lake. Chicken. He wasn't getting away that easy. I pushed off the ground and leapt at him, landing dangerously in his unsteady arms.

I laughed. "You had to ruin the fun."

"You know I could quite easily just let you go..." he whispered slyly. I gripped my arms around his neck. I studied him carefully as our laughs died out, suddenly realising our proximity; his arms on my thighs, one arm around my waist. Me, subconsciously pulling him closer, our faces mere inches apart. I could feel his nervous breath on my lips. He inclined his head toward mine as our noses brushed together. His eyes faltered behind me for a moment before his hands slipped from my legs and I fell under, tugging him down with me.

But this wasn't like before, my feet couldn't reach the bottom. I screamed, the water filling my lungs. I kicked and thrashed, trying to fight my way to the surface but it was no use. Gale came beside me and tried to help me up, but I was panicking too much. He grabbed my arms and practically threw me into the shallow part. I pushed my way up to the top as my feet touched the ground. Water spluttered out of my mouth as I coughed. My face was flushed but I knew it wasn't from almost drowning...

"I think we've had enough excitement for one day," he mumbled before getting out of the lake. I couldn't agree with him more.

I hoisted myself out and put my clothes back on, not even caring that I was soaking wet. The water seeped through my clothes, making my tshirt see-through but I really didn't care. My mind was too preoccupied on what almost happened.

We walked back to the meadow in silence. No quizzes on fighting or queries about plants, just my own thoughts to keep my company. And I could tell from Gale's deep thoughtful expression he was doing the same. I couldn't comprehend what was going on. One minute we were playing around and then we were almost kissing. To be fair though I was being flirty, but so was he. And we were almost naked... Oh I was such a slut. I had never even properly kissed a boy before; I was about to just throw it away. And to Gale of all people.

But did I like Gale? My immediate answer was no, but the more I thought about it the more sense it made. He was incredibly hansom, and kind and quite caring considering how we used to hate each other. But did we really hate each other or was it just light friction? I was so confused. I was dying to know what was going on in his head. But I didn't know how I felt about him.

But in the lake, it was He who pulled away and dropped me when he looked behind my shoulder. Was someone watching us? But then it clicked. There was a bed of water plants behind me, and more importantly, a large group of katniss. I knew he had feelings for her, why was I getting all worked up at the possibility of us getting together. It was just in the moment, a romantic setting, flowers and swimming. I bet it happened all the time. I wanted to laugh at my stupidity. I can't believe I had a crush on Gale, sure it only lasted ten minutes but it was there. How sickening.

Gale was rude and snobby and judgemental. He was filthy too and his hands were covered in scars, something he was quite proud of and said they 'reminded him of hardships'. He was so sappy. Like the time when I was attacked by the bear, he was actually more worried than I was. And he carried me all the way to a healer. And then there was that time he brought me cake from the bakery when I probably could have got it for free. How stupid was he? I felt a lot better after my mental rant.

Gale had longer legs so reached the meadow a few minutes before I did. When I arrived he stood in the centre, seemingly having a silent argument with his self. He stopped pacing when I cleared my throat.

"Everything ok?" I asked, trying to hide the waver in my voice. A huge fake smile plastered across his lips.  
>"Yeah fine. I was just thinking about your progress and I think you've learned everything you need to."<p>

"Really?" I gapped, not liking when this was going.  
>"Yeah, there's no real need for us to continue this. You should go and enjoy yourself. Go back to your baker, go shopping and what not." I glared at him.<p>

After all this time, his opinion had not changed of me. I was still the idiot airhead who threw her money around. And now he didn't want to train me anymore. Well fine, if what happened earlier freaked him out so much, then I would gladly leave. I didn't voice my opinions. Instead I went into emotionless actress mode, the girl who cared for no one but herself. The girl who Gale had be painted me out to be.

"Cool thanks so much," I said with a smile so huge my cheeks hurt. He nodded awkwardly.

"Well then I guess I'll see you around." He walked down the small path that led back to the fence before turning around abruptly. He stormed back over to me looking disappointed and hurt.

"Is this it?" he asked gesturing between us. I screwed my nose up in confusion. "After all we've been through, are we just going to end like this?"  
>"You're the one who freaked out," I said. He took a step back.<p>

"The lake? You're telling me that's a good idea?"  
>"No, it was a mistake, I'll admit that," I shouted. "But there's no need to push me away and act like it didn't happen. What are you still doing here anyway?"<p>

He remained silent. I nervously twisted the stud in my ear. He swatted my hand away. "What's making you so uncomfortable?" I narrowed my eyes at him questionably. "You always play with your ear when your nervous."

My eyes widened. As if he noticed that. He looked down as though he had said too much.

"Are you gonna answer my question?" he mumbled.  
>"Are you gonna answer mine?" I asked with more confidence than I felt. But traitor tears escaped across my cheeks. "What's the point in all this anyway. I'll be dead in a fortnight."<p>

That was it. He snapped. Gale roughly grabbed my shoulder and shook me. "Don't say that!" he shouted, though it was more like he was trying to convince himself. I instinctively leant back but he sighed as he rested his forehead against mine. "Just don't," he whispered, closing his eyes.

We stood there for a while, unmoving. Waiting for the other to speak or do something. But neither of us did.

After a few minutes he snapped back to reality and removed his hand from the back of my neck. "I should go," he mumbled before walking away from me, this time not coming back.

Despite our argument, I came back the next morning. I waited an hour under our tree but he never came. He wasn't at school either and I feared that was the last time I would ever see Gale Hawthorne. But what a memory to hold.

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><p><strong>I updated when I said I was going to! I am actually really shocked. I decided not to include the reaping here so its all together next chapter.<strong>

**I was also really bored last night and couldnt sleep, so i made a Gale/Emery picture on my phone. It may not look like much but none of it was done on the computer so im quite proud. Its on my tumblr 'districttwelve1' so check it out of you want.**

**Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter: _WeasleyGirl394, Heatherstone, Luna8Moon, Talah, lolamellark123, FortuneFaded2012, anon _and _Crazy-forever._**


	12. The Reaping

C H A P T E R E L E V E N

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><p>I can feel a phoenix inside of me<br>As I march alone to a different beat  
>Slowly swallowing down my fear I am ready for the road less traveled<br>Suiting up for my crowning battle  
>This is test is my own cross to bear<br>But I will get there

It's never easy to be chosen, Never easy to be called  
>Standing on the front line, When the bombs start to fall<br>I can see heavens, But I still hear the flames, Calling out my name  
>- Who am I living for, Katy Perry<p>

* * *

><p>I woke up the morning of the reaping with a churning in my stomach and a bad taste at the back of my mouth. I raced to the bathroom and made it to the toilet just before the little food I had eaten the day before came up. Even after my stomach was empty, disgusting acid and fluids invaded my mouth.<br>Hands grazed my neck as they held my hair away from the pan.

"It's ok sweetheart," Haymitch said, awkwardly patting my back. He stretched and ran the tap before giving me a glass of water.  
>I wiped my mouth and leant against the cool wall, taking small sips, but it just made me want to hurl more.<p>

Today was the day. After months of dread it was finally here. I didn't know whether to run or to smile, because there would be no need to worry anymore. It was all over. But not yet. The ceremony was at four and there was still a day of turbulence left. I had planned a busy day though.

I dressed in casual jeans and a tee and made my way to the seam. I was shaking, despite the heat. As much as I fought, the games kept coming into my mind.

There were not many people about as I wandered through the streets, like all other reaping days. Those older citizens with no children looked at me with pity. And those who knew or knew of me looked with hatrid. Emery Abernathy, the girl with a bed of roses. But little did those idiots know...

As I walked, I took in the sights: The worn houses, the paths, the meadow. I skipped passed that one though. Too many painful memories. I knew what it would do to me, but I still walked over to our tree.

I leant back against the trunk and put my head back, looking up at the sky. It should have been a beautiful blue, the shade of a hydrangea or Peeta's eyes. But there was a dark grey cloud set over the sky suffocating us. Even the small things in life, the Capitol were determined to crush.

I bit down on my lip to stop it from trembling, drawing blood in the process. I angrily wiped it away. The blood on my hand was the last straw. I collapses in a heap on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.  
>This was the first time I had cried properly. The games was my fate, and I had to live with that. Today would be emotional and it would be best to dry my tears out while I could.<p>

Was my life really that awful though? I should have died years ago, have it not for Haymitch's kindness. Most people exist, without really living, especially in this district. Not many people could say they hung out with victors at the Capitol, been attacked by a bear or baked a cake so huge it took seven merchant families to eat it. I had swam in a lake, learnt to play the piano, actually brought laughter to the great hall the night of the victors ball. My short life had actually been worth living, a thought that startled me.

I had no right to be wallowing in self pity. This day had been coming for months. All the other tributes were surprised at their fate. But I had time to train and practise. I could do this.

I scrambled up and somehow found myself at the ruins of my old house. I hadn't been here since my mother died, it was surprising it was still standing. Usually the houses of ruin were cleaned away so new homes could be built. But I suppose as there was no official confirmation for the death of the last remaining Hope, the house still stands.  
>Well, sort of stands. Only half the ground floor remains and even that is buried under a foot of rubble.<p>

I walked in to the mess, surprisingly not feeling too emotional. This site didn't even resemble my old house, it was not my home anymore.  
>The dust and wood crunched under my feet as I walked. I closed my eyes and tried to picture where everything used to be. I should be standing somewhere near my mother and fathers room. I tried to picture them, but my memory was cloudy. My mother was faintly there, but my father was just a shadow in my mind. I had forgotten my own parents.<p>

I shrunk to my knees and dug through the rubble, hoping to find something, anything, that would help me to remember them.  
>There was a dress, half of a broken mirror but nothing of any significance. That was until I came across my mothers jewellery box. I opened it with steady hands but alas it was empty. My head flopped forward and banged against it. Of course, my mother had sold everything to pay the bills.<p>

I stood up to leave but a small glint a few inches away from the box caught my eye. I bent down and saw my Aunt Matilda's bracelet. It was covered in dirt and mud but it was undeniably the thin piece of gold I always admired.  
>I hooked it around my wrist, adding it to the ever growing array of bracelets.<p>

After brushing myself down I went to the Hob for one last time. You could always count on the Hob being full, whatever the day or weather and today was no exception. It was nice. It felt normal.  
>I made my way straight to Greasy Sae's stand and ordered two stews.<p>

"Don't forget to wrap the other one up," I told her. Haymitch would get cranky if he knew I had soup without him. "Actually put an extra one in for me too."  
>She rolled her eyes but made up two extra bowls all the same.<p>

"Any meat today?" I asked, hopefully wondering if Gale had come in yet.  
>"No sorry," she said, taking the money off me. I thanked her and sat down at one of the little tables.<p>

It was one of the reasons I came to the seam today. I wanted, no needed, to see him. I don't know why, it's just my stomach churned at the thought of never seeing him again. He had been a big help to me and I never got the chance to thank him.

There was a tap on my shoulder before Darius came and squeezed himself down next to me with a huge grin on his face. "Excited for the reaping?"

"Ecstatic," I said, lazily dipping my bread roll in my soup. It was made from the tessera grain and was disgusting. But it didn't matter, it's not like I could stomach anything anyway.

Darius dug into his pocket and drew out a letter with _Cashmere_ written looping on the front. "Could you give this to your old man for me?"  
>"I may as well keep it. I could deliver it in person," I said tartly. He awkwardly patted my back.<p>

"You'll be fine, your names in there like what, five times?"  
>"Four," I corrected.<p>

"See, even better. I've got to run so I'll see you later." He gave me a carefree smile before pushing his way through the crowds.

I watched as his red hair disappeared into the distance before shoving my soup and the letter in the bin. I made it not five steps away before turning back and retrieving the letter. What I did was spiteful, there was no need to be bitter of Darius' semi-happy relationship. I was confused why he bothered though. The law was that peacekeepers were not allowed marriage or children for twenty years. And to my knowledge, Darius had been in service for less than five. But it was his decision and I had no right to intervene.

Before I left, I checked around for Gale. He was no where in sight. He had somehow dropped off the face of the earth. I hadn't seen him in almost a fortnight. And as much as it pained me to admit, I missed him.  
>After the Hob, I subconsciously found myself walking to the bakery. Peeta and I barely spoke anymore, and in this case I quite openly admitted that I missed him. Madge too. I barely saw them anymore.<p>

But when I got to the bakery, Peeta was surprisingly not there. Just Tiger and Bannock stood behind the counter talking in high spirits. Both brothers were out of the reaping now, the previous year being Tiger's last. Peeta was the only Mellark in that bowl now.

"Hello," I said politely as I walked through the door. Bannock smiled friendly but Tiger looked thoroughly annoyed.  
>"Hello, what can we get you?" Bannock asked.<p>

"Just a small loaf please." I doubted we'd have time to finish it. As Bannock went out back to get my bread, I turned to Tiger. "No Peeta today?"

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "He's playing soccer with some _friends_ from school." he really emphasised the word friends. It was weird.  
>"Okay then..." I said, ignoring his smug smile.<p>

Bannock finally came back and handed me a bag. "That's 2.50."  
>I handed him three. "Keep the change."<p>

I waved and left the shop, the annoying bell jingling after me. But as soon as I stepped outside, I bumped straight into Peeta and his soccer friends.

"Oh sorry," I said, bending down to pick up my bread but Peeta was already on the floor. He handed it to me and gave me a rue smile.  
>"I haven't seen you in forever," I admitted.<p>

He smiled shyly. "I know yeah." An awkward silence fell between us as his friends scoffed and pulled faces. How old were they?

"How are you doing?" I asked. "I thought you'd be working today."  
>"My mom actually gave me the day off." My eyes widened. "I know I thought the day would never come."<p>

I laughed. Even though we hadn't had a conversation in weeks, he could still make me feel at ease and not awkward.

"How are you feeling about the reaping?" he asked kindly, having no idea about the constant bubbling in my stomach. I stuck my tongue out then put on my best smile. He grinned and let out a small laugh. "You'll be fine Em."

My gut churned with guilt. He thought my name was in their four times, little did he know that I would be the tribute.

"I best run," I said hastily, feeling the tears forming in my eyes. "Good luck with the reaping guys." I walked briskly away from them but then turned back again, running towards Peeta.

"Could you come and see me after the reaping?" I asked, my voice thick with emotion. A stray tear escaped down my cheek. Peeta wiped it away with him thumb and stared at the glistening speck.

"Em, is there something you're not-"  
>"I'm fine," I said, turning my carefree grin back on. "Just promise me, please."<p>

He nodded. "I promise. I'll be at your house before Effie Trinket's even trotted of the stage."  
>"Thanks Peet." I waved goodbye and made my way back home.<p>

Poor Peeta thought that our reunion would take place at my house, but really it would be an early wake held in the justice building.

Haymitch was pacing the kitchen when I got back. He clutched the chair in front of him when I walked in, looking up at the ceiling and muttering to himself.

"Where have you been? I thought you'd done something stupid."

"What do you mean, it's only," I looked up at the clock and saw it was after two. I had been gone hours. "Wow I'm sorry, I just lost track of time."

Despite having just an hour and a half to get ready, I sat down at the table and took out the food I had brought. "Want some soup?" I asked. He nodded but eyed me suspiciously, though I was about to explode at any moment. "I got some bread too. Not too sure I could stomach it though."

Throughout our meal I tried to make conversation, but Haymitch remained silent. I wanted our last meal to be normal and memorable, but he was having none of it.  
>At three o'clock I stood up to leave. "Haymitch, stop sulking," I sighed. "I've accepted it. Now you must too."<p>

I gave him a weak smile before going upstairs to get ready. Now this was the tricky part. What look would I go with?

I know the original plan was to play innocent but I really wasn't feeling a pink ankle length gown with frills. I needed to find a medium. I tweezed my eyebrows while I debated and finally decided on 'girl next door'. Innocent, sweet but yet mysterious and teenager-y. I pulled out a yellow printed button up dress from the Capitol and decided to wear my hair up.

As I looked over my appearance in the mirror I felt young, despite the make up and the dress. I felt like a little girl, being sent off to war. Which, when you think about it, is true. Like every other reaping, Haymitch was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.

"Ready to go?" he asked, his eyes red and bloodshot. I nodded and followed him out the door.

As we walked to the square, I realised that Haymitch had not had a drink today. And come to think of it, he hadn't one yesterday either. The world was a seriously messed up place.

He stopped when we reached sign in. His expression told me he wanted to say something important and heartfelt. But he didn't. He mumbled a wish of luck before patting my shoulder and making his way to the stage.

I stood in the line, everything suddenly becoming real. I was here, this was it, and there was no backing out now. I hardly even winced as they pricked my finger for blood, my thoughts were elsewhere. A peacekeeper ushered me away to the fifteen year olds section. I found Madge and silently stood next to her. We both offered each other smiles but it was all I could muster.

My feet tapped restlessly on the floor as the sickly taste of pennies invaded my mouth from the back of my throat. _Please don't be sick here_, I begged the heavens. _You owe me that much_.

After what seemed like milliseconds, Effie Trinket came up on stage looking as chipper and happy as ever. Her heels were at least seven inches high; she could barely walk in them. I held back a giggle.

"Welcome, Welcome," she said slowly in her thick annoying Capitol accent. "Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favour." _They're not in my favour tonight,_ I thought bitterly.

She continued with the same story told every year about 'war, terrible war' and how we were punished with the Games because of ancestors uprising. But when we were treated like this, could you really blame them.

When she finished her speech my heart was pounding. I was sure that I was shaking like a little dog, but I didn't care.

"Ladies first," she said, tip toeing over to the glass ball. She slowly lifted her hand and dropped it into the bowl.

Maybe Haymitch was over reacting, it couldn't be me. It was too risky. What happens if someone knocked the bowl over and saw that all the names were mine. Or Finnick may have asked to get me out, he was always a favourite at the Capitol.

My breath hitched as she dramatically pulled out a name. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as she walked back to the microphone and undid the slip.

"And our District 12 female tribute for the 73rd Hunger Games is... Emery Abernathy."

My heart sunk, the last piece of hope I had fading away. Whispers echoed throughout the square. Even if they didn't know me they knew my name. It didn't take a genius to connect me to the miserable man sitting on the stage.

The girls around me turned to look and backed away. I took in a deep breath before slowly walking into the isle but Madge grabbed my hand. Tears were brimming in her eyes, I felt bad, but I didn't need that right now. I thrust my arm away and stepped out of the crowd, peacekeepers surrounding me, leading me up the stage.

I put on my best strong face, even though I could barely contain myself. But I had to swallow my fear, every pair of eyes in Panam would be fixed on me.

Effie ushered me onto the stage and led me over to the microphone. "Emery Abernathy. I'd bet my vintage McQueen's that you're Haymitch's daughter."  
>"Yes Ma'am," I said politely. She squealed in delight of my manors.<p>

"Let's give a round of applause for our female tribute."

A weak clap lasting seconds rang throughout the square. They didn't care for me. The selfish victors daughter who got everything she wanted, it was a sacrifice they could afford.

I kept my eyes straight ahead, looking at the sky in the distance, but my eyes couldn't help but flicker to the crowd. Madge with tears streaming down her face, Peeta looking pained and distraught, Katniss and Delly both looking shocked and Gale's angrily glare.

I could see my mom, my dad, my brothers and sister, Oakham, Ivy and so many other faceless people who had died needlessly. I shook my head, determined not to cry and turned my attention back to Effie who was dipping her hand through the boys bowl.

She pulled out a slip and ripped it open. I barely had enough time to hope for my friends before she read out the name.

"Thor Reynolds," she announced. The crowd parted as a tall but very skinny and underfed boy came forward. Well I say boy, he must have been eighteen. His hair was dark, his eyes grey; typical seam look. I had never seen him before, not that I remember anyway, something I was shamefully happy about.

Effie didn't ask him any questions she just told us to shake hands and smiled for the photo. His hands were cold in my warm ones. When our eyes met I was surprised to find them lifeless. He look liked he didn't care that he was about to die. But what frightened me the most was how familiar they seemed. Just a few years ago, I was sure mine looked the same.

I faced the audience as the anthem played, followed by a message from President Snow on the big screen. "We salute your courage and your sacrifice and wish you a happy Hunger Games," he called.

Courage and sacrifice my ass, as if we had a choice. Forgetting where I was, I stuck my tongue out at the screen before snapping it back in my mouth, looking around to see if anyone had noticed. They had. A few people in the crowd were giggling or held amused looks. I prayed it hadn't been caught on film, if it was televised, I was toast.

Once the cameras were turned off, we were herded away into the justice building behind us. I looked desperately around for Haymitch but he was no where to be seen.

Peacekeeper Purnia pushed me into a room and slammed the door behind me. The room was clean and filled with expensive antique looking furniture but I had little time to admire because about a minute later the door opened again and Peeta walked in.

My rule about not crying broke when I saw him. His blue eyes were red and swollen. I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck, sobbing into his shoulder.

He hunched down as I was so short and burried his face into my neck. He was shaking and I could feel the wetness of his tears seeping through my dress.

"Shh Em it's ok," he whispered, kissing my check. He mumbled various versions of my name, alternating between squeezing hugs and desperate kisses on my neck up to my forehead. It was strange being so intimate with Peeta but it was just the comfort I needed.

He kissed my forehead and pulled me closer to him, resting his chin the top of my head. "You knew, didn't you?"  
>I didn't have to answer. "I kept my promise of coming to see you." he laughed weakly, but it came out more like a strangled sob.<p>

Tears streamed down my face as I looked up at him. "Please don't speak," I whispered, shoving my head against his chest. He softly stroked my hair, twirling it between his fingers. It was soothing, I could have stayed like that forever. But the door opened...

We tightened our grip on each other expecting peacekeepers but it was just Madge. We extended our arms to her so we were in a triangular huddle, our heads bashing together in the middle.

"I can't believe it," Madge cried. "I just can't believe you're going into the games."  
>"I know. And I need you to promise me that you'll look after Haymitch."<p>

"Emery-"

"Let me finish," I said, breaking away from the hug and holding my hand up to them. "He can't look after himself properly. Peeta bring him bread, he'll pay you. And please visit him Madge. He needs company and he likes you."

"You're not going to die Em, you'll be fine. I've never met anyone as determined as you," Madge said. She looked down to the pin of a bird on her chest. She took it off and gave it to me. "I know you have a lot of choices of district tokens," she said, gesturing to bracelets on my wrist. "But it would really mean a lot if you could wear this somehow. It's a mockingjay."

I hugged her tightly. "Oh Madge thank you," I said, welling up a little. I took the pin off her and clipped it to the braclet I made from Oakham's token. "I have way too many bracelets. It's going to be hard to discard them."

"Then don't." Peeta bent down and pulled out one of his laces. He threaded it through my bracelets and tied a knot. "There, several tokens have become one."  
>I grinned. "You're brilliant."<p>

There was a knock at the door and a peacekeeper stuck her head around the door. "Time."

I threw my left arm around Peeta's neck and grabbed Madge's hand with my other, tears flowing down my face.

"Keep yourselves safe. Please don't do anything stupid. I want to thank you both for being my friends, I don't know where I'd be without you."

Another peacekeeper came in and pried Madge away from me. I turned to Peeta and put my other arm around him, gripping on to his shirt with my dear life. This was the last time I would see him and I had mere seconds left.

"You'll be fine, just stay focused and come home. You need to come home," he said earnestly, holding my face in his hands.  
>"I'll try," I said weakly. "I love you Peeta."<p>

He kissed my head. "I love you too Em." The peacekeepers pulled us apart and pushed him out the door. Our eyes met one last time before they slammed the door.

I walked across to the sofa and flopped down, trying to control my breathing. The tears were flowing fast and furious now. My best friends... I would never see them again. Sweet and kind Madge, Peeta who was my brother in everything but blood, were gone. He was more than a brother to me. It was like we were soul mates, but not romantically. Sure there was love there but it was completely platonic.

My thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door. I stood up but was surprised to see Gale standing in front of me. I smoothed out my dress and wiped away my tears. We did nothing except stare at each other, both of us unmoving.

I studied his expression. He looked shocked, sad, pained, angry and a million other feelings that I hadn't the time to register.

"I thought you were exaggerating, you know," he said, breaking our silence. "I'd never thought, you'd get reaped."  
>"But you still helped me though," I said quietly.<p>

"I still helped you," he murmured. I began to unintentionally edge myself forward.

"I hate them," he said, his expression so venomous that his nose screwed up and his eyes became dark. "They've played you. They actually cheated this whole thing. I can't believe they could take someone as sweet and-"

I grabbed his hand and held it in mine. He seemed to calm down a little. I gave him a weak smile. "Better me than an unsuspecting twelve year old. At least I've had time to practice."

"You're right," he said returning to his usual self. He put his hands on my shoulders and nudged my chin up with his finger. "You can do this Em, I know you can. You're pretty, you're charming, you'll have no trouble getting sponsors."

I blushed and looked down and our hands, toying with them lightly. I wanted to ask about the lake, but I hadn't the guts to. Instead I settled for second best.

"Where have you been? I thought I'd never see you again."

He didn't answer, he also averted his gaze to our entwined hands, as though he had only just realised that they were connected. He didn't pull away though, he just rubbed his thumbs against my tiny fingers. It was completely out of character for him, but it was nice.

He sighed heavily. "Listen Em, about the lake I-"

"Time!" Purnia and two other peacekeepers barged into the room and took Gale away. After the fisco of before they were prepared. He barely had enough time to wish me luck before the door slammed behind them.

"No!" I cried dramatically banging on the door. What was he going to say? What was he going to say? I practically growled as I leant my back up against it. After weeks of wondering, he was going to tell, but now I guessed I'd never know.

There was yet another knock on the door before Darius came in looking sad and pitiful. "It's time to go." He put his arm around my back and guided me out the room down the long corridor I had watched Oakham and Rhys disappear down, but now it was my turn.

"You've been a big help to me Emery, if there's anything I can do..." Darius whispered.

"Yes, my friend Gale, you know Gale?" he nodded. "He wanted to tell me something. Can you find out what and send word to Haymitch?"

He tutted and looked down. "I can't do that..."  
>"But you've spoken to Cashmere. Please," I begged.<p>

"I'll do my best." He discreetly squeezed my hand before handing me over to the other peacekeepers.

"Hey Emery." Darius stuck his tongue out at me and gave me his signature boyish grin. "That was my favorite reaping moment ever."

I rolled my eyes at him and put my tongue out back. I could feel myself smiling as I held back a laugh.

The peacekeepers pushed me outside and ushered me into the car. I spoke not a word as we drove to the station. I just looked at the district as it passed, begging that I would return to see the coal dust and clouds again. I knew I would come back here, but would it be in a fancy train or a coffin?

**END OF PART ONE.**

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><p><strong>Sorry for any typos, I went through the story and edited, but it didnt save. I redid it but will worn effort so dont be so harsh on me.<br>Thank you for all the reviews last chapter, again you never cease to amaze me with your support. Especially _Luna8Moon_ who sent me a lovely PM. Cheers to _Heatherstone, lolamellark123, Malian, , La-Lucy, emmettcullenlover7, iris129, Ravenclaw Slytherin, CSIGetteBlue, crazy-forever, God1801_ (Minor future spoiler: he found the lake himself, Katnis doesnt know he knows... : ) ,_ and SilensFlos._**


	13. The Train

C H A P T E R T W E L V E

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><p><strong>PART 2: THE FLICKER<strong>

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><p><strong>Flicker:<strong>

**1. **To Burn unsteadily; shine with a wavering, small uncertain light  
><strong>2. <strong>Unsteady, brief

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><p>You know the one thing you're fighting to hold<br>Will be the one thing you've got to let go  
>And when you feel the war cannot be won<br>You're gonna die to try what can't be done  
>Gonna stay stay out but you don't care<br>Now is there nothing like that inside of you anywhere

Just take the fall, you're one of us  
>The spotlight is on<br>- _Spotlight, Mute Math_

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><p>The train station was manic. Photographers and reporters flooded the place. It was even worse than when I went to the Capitol because this time, they were here for me.<br>Cameras and recorders were shoved in our faces as Effie tried to hold the animals back. I was surprised to see how calm Thor was. Like when his name was called, his expression never wavered. He looked bored, like he did not care that he was about to board a death train. I barely knew him, but I respected him for it.

When I caught sight of myself on the big screen I looked awful. Well not too awful, but my eyes were swollen and you can tell I had been crying. I didn't breakdown at the station though and I tried to remain as impassive as possible. It was embarrassing that the country would see me like this but who knew, it could work to my advantage.

I had been on the train before, so it was nothing new, but I still had to listen to Effie's ramblings. She led us into the dining/communal cart, but Haymitch was no where to be seen.

"Excuse me," I said, interrupting Effie's speech. "Where's Haymitch?"  
>"Haymitch normally stays drinking in his room until dinner." She screwed up her powdered face in disgust.<p>

"Thanks." I went to move over to the door but she stepped in front of me.  
>"And where are you going?" she asked sternly.<p>

"To see Haymitch." Wasn't it obvious. She let out an annoying chipper laugh.

"Oh no you can't. When Haymitch is ready he will come to the dining cart and if he's feeling up to it, he will coach you." Her tone remained impassive, but I could see by the way that her eyebrows flurried that she was not Haymitch's biggest fan.

I stomped over to the window seat as Effie restarted her speech, but again I toned her out. After ten minutes of being with her she was annoying me. This would be an interesting journey.

I kicked off my shoes and sat down. I was still in my reaping dress and it rode up a little, but I couldn't careless. I leant my head against the cool glass and watched the country go past. I could see twelve disappearing in the distance, the chimneys of the mines barely visible.

Reluctantly, I allowed my mind to wander home. What would Peeta be doing now? He had probably just gotten home and was sitting down to a meal with his family. Madge would be spending it with his father, he overjoyed that his daughter had not been reaped. Sure, the district had needlessly lost two teenagers tonight. People were a little sad, but it was better Thor and I than their own children.

I wondered what Thor's family was like. I felt guilty for not knowing who he was but I couldn't exactly walk over to him and strike up a conversation.  
>He looked so dull sat on the uncomfortable looking sofa, his eyes still looked blank yet slightly amused by the outrageous interior of the train. I wanted to talk to him, I don't know why but there was something quite interesting about him. But I couldn't grow attached.<p>

So in true ignorance, I continued to stare out the window. The three of us sat in silence, Effie reapplying her theatrical make up, Thor staring blankly around the room and me singing songs in my head. I wish I had brought my records along, that would have made this journey more tolerable.

"Emery, can you stop that please," Effie asked. I looked at her in confusion but then realised that I had been humming along under my breath. I apologised and looked down, my cheeks going red.

The reaping hadn't gone too bad if I was being honest. I looked pretty but not beautiful, I was sad, but not a blubbering idiot who was an easy kill. Hopefully, I would be able to slip under the radar and make it to the top eight. But that was easier said than done.

Thankfully I had training; I couldn't imagine what it must be like for Thor. Where would I have been without Gale? My mind drifted away to him. His handsome looks, his mysterious personality, his hard exterior but sweet actions. I wouldn't lie to myself anymore. I had a crush on him, a big one. But he would never look my way. I was two years younger than him and looked four thanks to my height and youthful looks.

However he did come and see me. I was dying to know what he wanted to say, it probably wasn't even that important. But I could be going away to die, I needed to know his last words to me.

My thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door. I looked up expectantly, hoping to see Haymitch but it was just a pair of Avoxes bringing in a cart of food.  
>They silently set the table, not even looking at us. Once they were done, they made to leave, but Effie rudely snapped her fingers.<p>

"Would you fetch Mr Abernathy and tell him dinners ready?"  
>The girl avox nodded and ducked through the door, her companion following. I took this as the cue to move.<p>

I strolled over to the table and sat down, looking in awe at the spread. Again, the Capitol's lavish excessiveness made me sick but as Finnick said, there was nothing I could do. It would just get me into even more trouble.

I placed the napkin on my lap, ready to eat but Thor had already dug in. Being from the Seam he was underfed. Anyone could see that from his skinny arms and hollow cheeks.

He didn't even bother to use any cutlery. He ate with his dirty hands, scooping it up and shovelling it into his mouth, half of it falling down his front. He couldn't get enough.  
>It was disgusting, but I couldn't judge. The poor guy had probably never eaten a proper meal in his life.<p>

Effie, however, was seething. She stared at Thor is horror, her mouth actually hung open. I picked up my knife and fork and ate with more care than I normally would, trying to catch Thor's eye. But he didn't get the message. I shrugged and continued to eat. It was sad, but it wasn't my problem.

"It's nice to see someone has table manners," Effie complemented me stiffly. Thor froze and looked as his hands embarrassedly. My heart went out to him. A few years ago, that would of been me.

I placed my cutlery back in their original position and ate my chicken with my hands. It was juicy and gross but it was worth it for the look on Effie's face, she looked as though she would faint. Thor gave me a small smile before continuing eating with his hands, just a little more refined this time.

"Great, finger food," a voice slurred from behind me. I turned and saw Haymitch swaying in, a bottle in his hand. To say he was wasted would have been an understatement. I had never seen him bad before. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he sat down at the table.

"Waiter!" he called, dramatically snapping his fingers. He flopped to the side but some how managed to pull himself up. "Food."  
>An avox scurried over and scooped some chicken onto his place. It was very rude of him but I couldn't correct him. Haymitch was a nightmare when he was like this.<p>

We ate in silence, the tension even higher than before. After she had finished her first course, Effie loudly put her knife and fork on her plate.

"So Haymitch, you are the mentor. Any advise?" she asked. As much as I disliked her, I had to give her props.  
>"Stay Alive," he cackled cruelly, his food spraying from his mouth.<p>

Effie sighed. "Same advice every year, it wasn't even funny the first time. I don't know why I bother," she muttered. She clicked her fingers for the next course but I barely paid attention. I couldn't believe Haymitch would act like such an ass. The games were in five days and he was wasted, fooling around.

"Is that it?" I snapped, throwing my fork on the table.

"I'm sure you're _well prepared_ sweetheart." he raised his eyebrows at me knowingly.  
>"Well he's not." I pointed to Thor who looked down embarrassedly. "Is this what you do every year just give up. Did you shun Oakham, Ivy? Rhys?"<p>

I mentally kicked myself for bringing up my secret brother, but he was too drunk to notice. I watched him look at me boredly through my blurred vision. I angrily wiped away a tear that had escape.

Haymitch gave me a smug smile before bringing the bottle back to his lips. My blood boiled. I swiped my hand and knocked it to the floor; it shattered loudly. Haymitch shot up and I followed. He brandished half the broken bottle at me, but I pushed his hand away, sending that to the floor too. It was pathetic how weak he was.

"Stop being so god damn selfish and sort yourself out." My voice was even, but held a threatening tone that freaked even me out.

I glared at him before stomping away to my room. I made it to the door before going back to the table and picking up some bread. I was hungry but I refused to eat with him. I raised my head high and continued away.

There was no bedroom assigned so I just went to my room I had before. As soon as I opened the door, I ran to the bed and threw myself down. Why was he doing this? Sure I could take care of myself, but I needed emotional support. Haymitch had said nothing to me since the house which seemed like a lifetime ago.  
>And even if this was his way of grieving, he still shouldn't take it out on Thor. But as earlier, it did dawn on me that he did this every year, Effie's words backing up my argument.<p>

District Twelve never had victors because we had no support. All 46 dead tributes from our district didn't stand a chance because of Haymitch. But surprisingly I wasn't angry, I was sad. And more importantly, determined. If I won I could become a real mentor and actually help the kids from the 12. They may actual stand a real chance then. And who knows, I could manage to bring some home.

I sat up and looked at my reflection in disgust. My makeup had smudged around my eyes and my dress was all crinkled. A light stain lay on my shoulder from Peeta's tears. I tore off my dress and went into the shower. It was amazing. The water washed away all my angry I had towards Haymitch, I was in there for half an hour though.

I dried my hair and wrapped a towel around me, looking through the closets. I wanted some sweats but only skirts and dresses were in there. Pyjamas would have to do. I didn't care what Effie said about it. I threw them on and tied my hair into a bun.

It was really dark as I made my way back to the living area, and I bumped into the walls a couple of times. When I finally made my way back, Haymitch, Effie and Thor all sat around the big screen on the wall watching the reapings from the day.

"What did I miss," I said cooly, sitting down on the floor, leaning against the sofa next to Haymitch's legs. I could have quite easily made a catty remark, but I was willing to forget.

"Just one and two. But they're the bastards you need to watch out for," Haymitch slurred, on the same wave length as I was. Effie tutted her teeth at his swear but didn't say anything.

I turned my attention to the screen and watched two insignificant looking kids from three get chosen. But who was I to judge, looks could be deceiving.

After a small commentary from Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith, they skipped to District Four. A small smile crept onto my face at the sight of Finnick sitting in the background. A gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Haymitch, despite how drunk he was.

"It's your fancy fella," he laughed, pointing at the screen. I elbowed him in the shin while Effie squealed.  
>"Oh you're his girlfriend from the victory tour. This is marvellous, it could work to our advantage. You being the heartbroken-"<p>

"He's not my boyfriend," I cut in angrily. "He helped me out and I'm happy to see him. That is it." I childishly spun back around and crossed my arms, turning my attention back to the reaping.

Even if you didn't know it was four, you could tell it was a career district. Everyone looked more meaty and held a healthy glow in their cheeks, probably from the sea air. I wasn't saying they didn't suffer, but there were more people in new white dresses than there were back home.

The boy who was reaped looked lethal and the girl was tiny, only twelve. But I barely had time to feel sorry for her as a cocky blonde about my age volunteered.

The longer the reapings went on, the skinnier and more hopeless they became. Only a boy from five and one from ten looked like they would make it passed the first day. I cringed as the camera introduced district twelve.

I hated seeing myself on TV, especially how helpless and weak I seemed. Why couldn't I be more like Thor, who held a certain ease with him. If I was from the other districts, I would be keeping an eye on him, despite his skinny frame.

I was a little apprehensive that my little gesture had been caught on camera. The camera cut to an outshot of the district, but the last frame they showed was of me sticking my tongue out.

"Nice," Thor said, speaking for the first time. His voice was really deep, making him seem quite scrutinising and powerful.  
>"That was disrespectful," Effie huffed.<p>

"It was to a friend in the crowd," I lied quickly.  
>"Make sure you clear that up, it doesn't reflect well on us."<p>

I rolled my eyes but said no more, a sudden wave of tiredness coming over me. I knew as soon as I got into bed I would be wide awake. But being alone in my room seemed more appealing than being criticised out here.

It took me hours to get to sleep. The sky was beginning to turn a light blue and the birds were whistling past the train before I finally nodded off. It seemed I was only asleep for ten minutes before Effie banged on my door. "Up, Up, Up, we have a Big, Big Day ahead of us."

I groaned and shoved my head under the pillow. I heard the door open and tottering heals across the floor. Suddenly, cold air whipped around my legs as Effie pulled my quilt up.

"Hurry, hurry. We'll be in the Capitol in just a few hours"  
>"Stop repeating words," I mumbled, pulling my quilt back over my head. She sighed before stomping away, muttering threats about me being late.<p>

I tried to get back to sleep, but it just wasn't happening. I took another long shower and looked through my closet. I spied a pair of dungarees hanging up, but I couldn't wear them. I had to make an impression and I couldn't do that looking like a farmer.

It would be hot, could I wear shorts? No that wouldn't be acceptable. There were a lot of dresses in here but they were all Capitol-fied. Finally, I found one that was semi-normal. It was a blue summer dress that was layered with white lace. I put it on and went to work on my makeup.

I looked awful. Thanks to all the crying yesterday and my lack of sleep my eyes had swollen luggage under them. No matter how much concealer I put on, it didn't seem to cover them entirely. Sighing, I coated my lashes with mascara and made my way to breakfast.

I met Thor on my way coming out of his room, which was opposite mine. I smiled to say hello but then took in his outfit. He wore the same ratty, dirty clothes he wore to the reaping.

"You can't wear that!" I blurted out. His eyes widened in shock at my rudeness. "What I meant is that as soon as you step of off the train they'll be on you. If you want sponsors you'll need to make more of an effort," I amended.

He rolled his eyes. "And why would I want sponsors?"  
>It was my time to sneer. "Everyone knows that you need sponsors to win."<p>

He looked down at me and narrowed his eyes. "Who said I wanted to win?"  
>I gapped. "You've just given up. What about your family, your friends?"<p>

"They don't need me," he mumbled. I didn't know anything about him but I was sure he was wrong. I had to help him. He couldn't just give up. I looked down the corridor to see if anyone was coming before taking his hand and dragging him into his room.

I let go as soon as we were inside and went to his closet, digging threw his clothes. Capitol men clothes were a lot less ostentatious than women's. It was easy to find him a nice shirt and pants. I threw them at him but then spotted a checked shirt hidden behind a velvet blazer.

"Wait," I said, pulling the shirt out. I went over to the underwear draw and pulled out a black wife beater. "Put these on instead. Don't button up the shirt."  
>"What?" he protested.<p>

"Just trust me. And mess up your hair a bit." I stood up on my tip toes and shook my hand through it. His hair wasn't that long, though it seemed to do the job. "There. Now you're the cool uncaring guy."

He stared at the clothes in his hands and then back at me. "Why are you helping me?"  
>"Because... You shouldn't be at a disadvantage just because your mentors a drunkard," I mumbled awkwardly.<p>

"But it's not your problem," he stated.  
>I shrugged, feeling very embarrassed and uncomfortable. "Get dressed. We'll be there soon."<p>

I ducked out the room and into the dining cart where Effie and Haymitch were already up.

"About time," Effie said. "We'll be there in a matter of an hour and I need to brief you."

She waited until Thor arrived looking suave in his outfit before filling us in on what would be going on when we arrived. Haymitch occasionally cut in offering various pieces of advise. It was obvious he was sucking up a little because of yesterday but I didn't care. As long as Thor got some tuition than I was fine.

For the last half hour of the journey I sat by the window, watching the skyline from the Capitol grow bigger in the distance. I held my breath and closed my eyes as we went into the tunnel that lead to the train station. Even now it still freaked me out. I opened my eyes as light flooded the train again and saw the reporters lined up on the platform. Great. There were even more than before, if that was possible.

I gave a small smile and wave as the cameras spotted me before standing up and brushing myself down.

Effie ushered Thor and I to the door and tidied us. This would be so much harder than before because this time the spotlight was on me. And one small mistake could cost me my life. Many people thought the games started at the countdown but they don't. It's now.

Let the 73rd Hunger Games Begin.

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><p><strong>So sorry this is late. this chapter was impossible to write, but next time will be better. I promise. It'll be extra long to make up for this one, and then hopefully chapter fourteen will be the games.<br>Thanks so much for all of the reviews. _Selina, lolamellark123, mistiquerave, Ravenclaw Slytherin, Heatherstone, Talee, Kaitaru Seras Viktoria Hatake, KeepingTheSecret, La-Lucy, Luna8Moon, iris129, CSIGetteBlue, anon, GirlWhoTookNightlock and Crazy-forever_**

**Thanks for reading, let me know what you think.**


	14. The Tributes

C H A P T E R T H I R T E E N

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><p>I like to be around you<br>When your not trying to be somebody  
>And i like to hang with you<br>Talk about whatever we talk about.  
>Don't care who we see<br>what they say, you and me we'll be ok  
>if we dont get caught by scrutiny<p>

You dont have to be cool  
>Don't have to be smart<br>Don't need to know anything all the time  
>Its alright if your a little bit out of it<br>I dont care i just wanna be your friend  
><em>- Friend, Kaitlyn<em>

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><p>I stood by the chariot, my arms folded tightly across my chest. To say I was fuming was an understatement.<p>

"I'm not going out there," I growled brattily.  
>"You have no choice," my annoying stylist Rohm smirked. I had known the man for five hours and I was already wishing his slow and painful death.<p>

"It's perverted!" I shouted, moving my arms for a second to gesture to my costume, or lack of. Excluding a pair of black panties, body dust and a mining helmet, I was naked. A few surrounding tributes began to stare at the scene I was causing. It took everything in me not to flip them off. Lack of sleep, Capitol idiots and me were not a good mix.

"What's all the commotion about?" a silky smooth voice said from beside us. Even the sight of Finnick Odair couldn't cheer me up. I turned to glare at him.

"I'm naked."  
>"I can see that," he smirked. I pushed him away roughly.<p>

"If your going to be annoying guy, you can leave me alone."  
>He straightened up immediately, sensing I was not in the mood to be teased. "I was naked in my chariot."<p>

"Yes, but you could pull it off." I blushed, realising what I had just said, but thanks to the black paint, it wouldn't be seen.

Finnick gave me a rue smile before snapping his fingers. "I've got it, I'll be back in a jiffy." He ran away in the direction of the backstage area.

"What? Finnick!" I called, but he had already disappeared behind a door. I muttered curses under my breath as Rohm ushered me on to the chariot next to Thor.

"Now try to look at least the tiniest bit happy," he said. "If that's even possible." He strolled away to the stands without another word.

How I loathed that man. Even my idiot stylists were nicer than him. They had praised me on my attempt of keeping my eyebrows tidy. But all I got out of Rohm was how he hated working for an outline district and that there was nothing he could do for them.  
>The good news though was that he was being promoted to five next year. I would be the last person to suffer his condescending words and vile outfits.<p>

Thor and I stood in an awkward silence as the final finishing touches we're made to the other tributes. We were shunned by our prep teams, left to our own devices.  
>I looked around constantly for Finnick's return but he was no where in sight. I began to get a little nervous as the chariots lined up, realising that I would have to parade around the Capitol, the whole country watching, naked.<p>

I sighed and wiggled myself around, trying to prep myself up as District One went out to the crowds.

"Emery!" Finnick called. I turned around and saw him sprinting towards us with two trowels and some rope in his hands. By the time he had reached us, he was panting and district two had already gone out.

"Quickly, hands up." I obeyed immediately. "Hold these in place for me?" he told Thor cupping the trowels to my chest. Finnick expertly tied knots around me, creating a bra with the gardening tools. I couldn't help the stupid smile that overcame me.  
>He tapped the 'cups' several times to make sure they would stay in place before doing it again and again, a cheeky grin on his face.<p>

"Finnick," I scolded but I could help but laugh, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. "How did you-"  
>"Stole them from the caretaker." District Eleven left. "You can thank me for my amazingness later. Now go. And put a smile on your face for once."<p>

I didn't even have to fake it though. I was so relieved that I didn't have to go out naked.

As the chariot pulled out we were blinded by flashes. Despite the fact that I could not see, I smiled sweetly and waved to the crowds. Next to me, Thor stood unmoving, but that was his loss. I needed to get noticed. I made my smile even bigger, hoping that it would somehow be seen on my dark face. It was a wonder I didn't blend into the night.

The crowd cheered us madly. They jumped up and down, threw flowers on the road, one idiot teen was crying with excitement. I waved to her all the same though. If they were willing to buy, sometime selling out was the best option.

When we neared the circle, I looked up to the boxes to see if I could recognise someone. I was pretty sure Cashmere was sitting somewhere in the middle but it was near impossible to tell. As the chariots began to slow my eyes fell on the embodiment of evil: Snow.

The hate bubbled inside my stomach as he stood up, waving happily to the thousands of adoring fans. I wonder how'd they react if they found out he'd fixed the reaping... They probably wouldn't even care as long as they got a good show.

Snow began his speech after our chariot came to a stop. He gave us the same old cock and bull speech as every year, so I tuned him out and focus on the other tributes. This was the first time we had all been together and I needed to assess the damage.

My eyes fell to the tributes from one and two, the districts whose reaping I'd missed. You could tell they weren't related, they looking nothing alike. Yet they all held the same strange look in their eyes that I couldn't place. It was a mix of superiority, determination, hunter and a million other scary things which made them look lethal, which was saying something since one were dressed in pink feathers and diamonds.

Both from two looked like they could have troll blood in them, they were huge and had faces like they had been punched so much, healing wasn't an option.

Despite them being huge, I knew one was the big competition. Both looked fit and lethal, and were quite good looking. Sponsors would be lining up to throw money at them.

I raised my chin a little higher and tried to put on my best pretty/innocent face but thanks to the body paint, I soon learnt that it was unnoticeable. I slumped down and listened to the rest of Snows dull speech before we were pulled back to the garage.

I hated this, how we were shunned for being an outline. We got rubbish costumes, ass bag stylists and no attention. They over looked us. But the joke was on them. I couldn't wait to show what I could do in training.

Effie, Haymitch, Rohm and Thor's stylist Silvan waited by our space, the latter two looking furious.  
>As soon as we pulled up they were on me. "You ruined my costume!" Rohm shouted. He looked murderous.<p>

"I didn't ruin it. He did," I said, pointing to Finnick who walked passed.  
>"Thanks Em, thanks a lot," he mumbled before going over to his own tributes.<p>

"But I do admit I asked him too. I told you I wasn't comfortable going out their naked. And I thought Finnick was creative. It looks better," I continued. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I cringed. As did Thor, Haymitch and Effie when Rohm started shouted.

"Listen you little bitch-"  
>"Hey, hey, hey," Haymitch cut in, waggling his dirty finger in Rohm's face. "That's my daughter you're talking to." I felt a swell of pride when he said daughter. "She told you she was uncomfortable, so really you only have yourself to blame."<p>

"Yes but I am Stylist. My word is final."  
>"Stylist, not God," Haymitch pointed out smugly. Effie, Thor and I watched the exchange with wide eyes, too curious to but in.<p>

I looked around and saw that a few of the tributes and mentors were looking our way. "I think it's best if we carry this on upstairs," I mumbled.

Effie frantically looked around and put her hand on mine and Thor's back, guiding us to the elevators. "Yes, yes. We don't want to cause a scene on the first day, do we?" she let out an annoying giggle.

The three of us, plus Haymitch squeezed into an elevator with the District One tributes. They seemed pretty annoyed about sharing air with us, but it was only for one floor.

"Emery?" a voice called. I turned and saw Cashmere leaning up against the glass. "Sorry, I didn't recognise you with all that stuff on your face."  
>I gave her a weak smile that turned into a pained grimace. "Hi, how are you doing?"<p>

"Fine thanks. Do you... Have anything for me?" she asked. What? I screwed up my face in confusion but then it hit me.

"Shit," I mumbled, covering my mouth. Effie scolded me but I ignored her. I had left Darius' letter in my reaping dress pocket, which was on the train.  
>"I'm so sorry," I apologised. "It's in my dress on the train."<p>

"No worries," she said, though I could see she was a little miffed. "I need to learn to cope without you. I'm going to miss you if you die."  
>"I'm going to miss me too," I mumbled. Cashmere was alright, but she was still a career. A brutal, uncaring career.<p>

Her beautiful tributes stated at us in confusion, obviously confused about how we knew each other. But there wasn't long to ponder as the doors opened on the first floor. Cashmere gave us a small wave before getting off with her tributes.

As soon as the doors shut I groaned. "Oh Darius is going to kill me."  
>"What was it?" Haymitch asked.<p>

"He gave me a letter to give to Cashmere, which I left on the train." My stomach churned as a horrible thought dawned on me. "What if he doesn't send my message because of this." Surely he would still said my message off Gale, if he could worm it out of him.

The three of them looked at me as though I had gone mad. "You know there's not a part of that sentence I don't need explaining," Thor said.  
>"I'm with you there son," Haymitch said, clapping him on the back.<p>

The elevator slowed before opening up on our floor. Effie strolled out and showed us around. I had been here before so again, it was nothing new. Just an over the top display of the Capitol's wealth.

"There's many advantages being from twelve and one of them is that you get the penthouse." Effie told us.  
>"Another being that we're all super skinny due to the lack of food," Thor said mockingly, in a fake Capitol accent. Effie and I stated at him in shock while Haymitch laughed again.<p>

"You know kid, you're alright."

I froze, my insides bubbling. "I'm going to get ready for bed," I announced before taking off to my room.

Thor couldn't be 'alright'. I didn't want Haymitch thinking he was bad, just... Tolerable enough to help him. I could see them bonding in my mind and tomorrow it would be Emery who?  
>I know, I was a selfish bitch, but Thor didn't even want to win. He would die and then we'd all be heart broken because we got attached to him.<p>

I wouldn't lie. Thor did seem alright. He reminded me of my brother Rhys: cool, calm and quick witted. But I knew the stakes, and there was no way I could be friends with him. And the sooner Haymitch learnt that, the better.

**:-:**

I woke up early the next morning with splotches of body paint still stained on my skin. No matter how much I showered and scrubbed, my body still had a grey tinge to it. It was impossible and my skin was hurting from rubbing so hard.

I put on a pair of fresh pyjamas, feeling too lazy to dress properly, and trudged to the living area. Everyone was awake when I arrived, including Rohm. I ignored him and sat down next to Haymitch.

"It's about time. Training starts in half and hour. Now it's important that you stick to schedule," Effie began. "Your stylists will dress you after breakfast and these outfits are not optional." She glared at me pointedly. "I will then escort you down where you will spend the rest of the day for three days. On the third day you will have private tuition."

I nodded but I was really eyeing up the stack of pancakes that an Avox brought over. I had heard this a thousand times before. Everyone in Panam knew how this worked.

"Don't go to mad in group training," Haymitch said, looking surprisingly sober. "Keep to yourselves, learn something you haven't done before and then whip out the big guns in your private session."

"But I'll need to practice my fighting. I already know all the survival skills," I whispered to him.

"That's fools talk. No one knows everything. If you want to live, do as I say," he scolded.

I nodded and looked down, feeling a bit like a cocky idiot. Only one thing could cheer me up now: pancakes. I took my plate to the serving table and took three. I was a growing girl and needed my strength for a hard day of training. No, correction, a hard day of sitting on my butt and pretending to be helpless.

Haymitch noticed my surly mood and turned to Effie. "Do you have the-"

"Oh yes." She walked over to the couch handed me a bag. "I got this especially collected."

I looked inside and found my reaping dress. I gave her a genuine grateful smile. "Thanks Effie." At least Darius may be able to get his happy ending now.

I pulled out the crumbled letter from the pocket and handed it to Haymitch. "Could you give this to Cashmere for me please?"  
>He took it off me and inspected it. "Why is there stew on it?" he asked, pointing to the large stain on the back.<p>

"Because I put it in the trash," I mumbled, taking a big spoonful of my pancakes. I still felt guilty for that.

Haymitch tucked it into his pocket. "Whose it from?" he asked nosily.

"You know who it's from," I said, not really wanting to bring it up in front of a table of strangers. He looked at me blankly. He should know. That was, if he wasn't so out of it at the victors tour. "It's from Darius." I sighed in defeat.

Haymitch perked up and began digging through his other pockets. "Speaking of Darius. This came for you this morning."

He handed me a telegram. My stomach churned as a small smile crept onto my face. This was it, it was the note off Gale. I wasn't sure how I felt about it though. I had probably built my hopes up too high and all the telegram contained was a mocking note. I turned it in my hands before ripping it open, the suspense killing me.

_"I'll tell you when you come home..." _

That was it. After our big goodbye that's all he could say. But then my heart swelled. He wanted me to come home, he believed it. I was completely over thinking it but I didn't care. It was my fuel to keep me going. A stupid grin crept across my face.

"See we read it and couldn't make head or tail out of it," Haymitch said, gesturing to him and Thor.  
>"You read it?" my eyes darkened. Why was he bonding with Thor, why? And why did he read my letter. "That was private."<p>

"It was addressed to me," he said smugly. I rolled my eyes but said no more, he had a point. "So whose it from?"

My cheeks tinted pink. I didn't really want to say. If I told him the truth he would think that there was something going on. Haymitch was already super suspicious about how I spent my free time. He tried to have 'the talk' with me when there were rumours that I was dating Peeta.

"It's time to get ready," Effie clapped, pushing her plates toward an avox. Whether she did it intentionally or not, she saved my neck. I shot her a grateful glance before going back to my room with Rohm on my heels.

He shut the door behind us, a pained expression on his face. "We got off on to the... Wrong start yesterday and I was wondering if you wanted to start anew."

I could tell from his tone that was the least thing he wanted. Effie or Haymitch had put him up to it. But I could hardly say no, could I. "Sure, why not," I said giving him a weak smile. His brash exterior returned immediately.

"Good, good. Now this is your training outfit," he said, thrusting a large blue jumpsuit into my hands. "You have to wear this, now go try it on."

I got dressed in front of him, all self respect and privacy went out of the window yesterday. The jumpsuit was huge, at least two sizes too big for me. It sagged on my body and the arms fell way passed my wrists.

"Why is it so huge?" I asked Rohm.

"So you can move more. You need to practise moving with baggage..." he stopped suddenly as though he had said too much. So I needed layers for the arena. So it must be cold, or very hot and baggy layers may be needed to protect us from the sun rays.

I rolled up the sleeves and pretended I didn't notice his slip up. The suit drowned me and I looked even tinier than before.

"Is there any way we can -"  
>"No!" Rohm cut in angrily. He recovered himself and gave me a fake smile. "Sorry, its the rules. Now what shall we do with your hair." He pulled it out of my band and ruffled it up.<p>

"I normally wear it in a bun or topknot," I told him, edging away. I'd rather have mean Rohm than fake kindness Rohm. At least I knew where I stood with him.

"We'll go for that. You'll be able to recreate it in the arena if you get that far."

He tied my hair to the top of my head and ruffled it up so a few cascading curls fell around my face. "There," he said. "Now that's your signature."

As he applied my simple make-up my mind slipped home and to Gale. I wanted to speak to him so bad, why did the stupid peacekeepers have to interrupt us? What he had to say was obviously private and personal, but was it just in the heat of the moment. It was the type of thing you say to someone you'd never see again. I feared that even if there was a miracle and I made it home, I'd never find out what he really meant.

"Ok, we are all done," Rohm said, pushing me towards a mirror. With my light mascara and pink lipgloss I looked like a sweet teenage girl; it was perfect.

Effie was already waiting with Thor at the lifts when we got outside. "Please hurry, we are two minutes behind schedule," she chipped. I mumbled an apology before following them into the lift. My stomach lurched as it jolted down into the training area.

As usual Thor looked bored. I was annoyed to see that he looked fine in his jumpsuit. It was a little loose around his middle, but at least you could see his hands.

Effie straightened out our suits, stopping on me when she got to my wrist.

"What's all this?" she asked, tugging on my brackets.  
>I yanked my arm away protectively. "Its my district token."<p>

"That should have undergone investigation. Can I -"

"No," I said, a little too harshly. "I'm sorry. I know it sounds stupid, but I can't do without them. How about I give them to you before the arena."

She looked a little miffed but she nodded then turned to Thor. "What's your district token?"  
>"Don't have one," he shrugged before turning his attention back out of the window. We were underground now and the lift was slowing down.<p>

We stopped with a jolt before the doors opened into a long corridor. The place was lined with peacekeepers; it made me feel queazy that all these people were watching, guarding us.

We followed Effie down the hall, she chatting admirably as usual. When we got to the far door she stopped.

"Ok, this is the training room. We're a little on the late side so go in quickly. They'll explain what to do." She seemed pretty miffed that I had made us late but I didn't care. It's not like I would be missing out anyway. She gave us a curt nod before tottering away back to the elevator.

Thor gave me an awkward reassuring smile before opening to doors. The room was huge but I didn't have any time to admire it as my eyes immediately landed on the group of impatient tributes in the middle.

"Nice of you to join us twelve," a woman in the middle called. We looked down and kept quiet as the other tributes giggled or glared at us. I don't know which was worse.

The woman, who turned out to be Atala, gave us a long and boring speech about what would be going on over the next few days. They moaned about us being late, but this was just a complete waste of time, I had already heard this twice off Effie.

"Now you may go to which ever station you wish," Atala concluded.

The kids with 1, 2 and 4 ran to the station with the dangerous looking weapons while the rest of us held back, debating where to go.

I decided to screw Haymitch and at least get a feel of the fancy Capitol weapons. I moved toward the smaller weapons station with the knives but Thor grabbed my arm.

"What are you doing? You heard what Haymitch said," he hissed.

I rolled my eyes. "Do you really trust Haymitch's tac-tics? How many kids has he brought home?" it was harsh, but I knew what was best for me.

It was Thor's turn to sneer. "Didn't he say to you, not half hour ago, that it was stupid to go around acting like you know everything."

"Do you listen to everything he says." Thor remained silent. We stared each other down for a few seconds until he turned away and walked to the starting a fire workshop. I glanced wistfully at the weapons before reluctantly following him. He shot me a smug smile, which I ignored. Fighting with my district partner would get me no where.

For me, the station was a waste of time, but Thor knew nothing about nature. I spent the day shadowing him, helping him out when the instructors wouldn't. As time went on, I grew more snappy but I still never left his side.

We never spoke apart from the occasional tip or fact. I was still angry at him for earlier. Plus he was annoying me with his bondage with Haymitch.

Haymitch had barely spoken to me since the reaping but he and Thor were getting on like a house of fire. Yes, I was jealous, but there was no way I would admit that aloud.

As I knew all of the basic survival skills, I took my time scoping out the competition. The boy from one was handy with a sword, the girl seemed to favour knives. Two's boy was nifty with a spear while the girl seemed to be good with a bow. Not perfect, she missed the target a couple of times, but she was better than I was. The boy from three could throw a good punch but the girl was learning survival skills like us.

I learnt that fours tributes were Ethos and Hydra. Ethos seemed pretty useless to be honest and his title of 'career' seemed to be his only weapon. The girl, Hydra though seemed a pretty average all rounder though, like me. She caught me looking at her a few times, an evil condescending smirk appearing on her face when she did.

I decided to ignore the careers from then on, though that was a little hard to do at lunch. The six of them gathered around the food cart, talking and laughing boisterously, trying to intimidate the rest of us.

"It's like high school all over again," Thor muttered from beside me.  
>I looked at him surprised. "Don't you go to school?"<p>

He shook his head. "No, it's the mine life for me. I almost nineteen."

"Oh." it was all I could say. It must have been hard for Thor, to escape the reapings all these years only to fall at the last hurdle.

A silence fell between us. "I hate lunch at school," I said simply.  
>"Did the 'cool merchants' sit in the middle too?" he asked.<p>

"Uh huh," I nodded. "Then the smart people next to them."

"Then the nicer kids from the seem who we're all for equality," he continued with a small grin. "I sat on the outskirts."

"Me too." He looked at me curiously. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing, I just would have thought you would have sat with the merchants," he said simply.  
>"Why because my dads the richest man in town? No, everyone hates me. I thought you knew that?"<p>

"Not everyone hates you," he said quietly.

I let out a humourless laugh. "Ok, excluding about five people, the entire district hates me."

"It's because they don't know you. You're quite bratty from a far. Quite bratty in general today actually."

I looked down guiltily. Thor hadn't done anything wrong, all he had done was talk to Haymitch. And who was Haymitch to ignore him, especially after my rant. I was no one special. Thor had just as much right to win as I did, and at least I had training. He would need all the help he could get. I felt quite rude and selfish about the whole thing.

I thought about all the times that Gale had called me a brat, even Peeta slipped it out once or twice. I always joked and blew it off, but they were right.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.  
>Thor shrugged. "Doesn't matter. You have helped me a lot today."<p>

It seemed like he wanted to say more, but the booming laugh of the careers interrupted us. He looked down to his plate with an annoyed crinkle on his forehead.

"Those guys are really beginning to piss me off," he said quietly.  
>"Ditto to that district brother."<p>

The corners of his lips turned up when he heard his new nickname.

I looked over to the careers and for the first time, saw uncertainty in their eyes. I always believed that they were cool hard born killers but to them this was just a game of tactics like it was for me. A wicked smile appeared on my face as I turned to Thor.

"Just start laughing on the count of three," I whispered.  
>"What?"<p>

"One, two three," I laughed loudly but Thor didn't join in. The room turned to stare at me like I had gone mad.

Thor was silently laughing beside me. I hit him hard on the arm. "You suck!" I said with an embarrassed grin.

He held his hands up in defence. "Ok, we'll try again."

Out the corner of my eye I could see the district seven girl and the boy from three looking at us curiously. "Join in," I whispered. "One two three. Ha, Ha, Ha." I cried, doing the best stage laugh I could muster. To my surprise they joined in with us.

It was so staged and so awful that I couldn't help but give out a genuine laugh. As did Thor and the people around who had caught on to what we were doing.

The careers looked furious about having their thunder taken but there was little they could do. All eyes were on the geeks in the outskirts. Screw staying under the radar. This was more fun.

The afternoon was a lot more pleasant. The tension between Thor and I had now gone. We still weren't bosom buddies but we didn't work in a strained awkward silence anymore.

But for me, the day was not almost productive enough, but yet still tiring. As soon as we were dismissed I raced straight to the first elevator open. The district four tributes were in there, but I needed the toilet and couldn't care less.

I turned my back to them though and looked out the window, jiggling my leg.

"What's with the dance?" Finnick said from behind me. I spun around and saw him standing behind his tributes. I didn't even notice he was in here.

"Will you stop sneaking up on me?" I asked him a smirk. "I know I'm so fun to be around but there's really no reason to stalk me."

He let out a mocking laugh. "Don't flatter yourself Abernathy. And anyway, you owe me a thank you and an apology."

"For what?" I cried.  
>"For dropping me in it with your stylist."<p>

"I apologise. But he would have skinned me alive."

"You blamed poor Finnick for something _you_ did?" Hydra butt in. "That's so mean." She tried to seductively stroke his arm, but he shrugged her off. I tried very hard not to laugh.

When the doors opened on the forth level, Finnick stayed put. "I'm going to see Haymitch." he told them quickly before shutting the doors and pressing the button to my floor.

I laughed on the dumbfound expression on Hydra's face. "Looks like you have an admirer."

He groaned. "I know, she's my tribute and I have to help her but she's driving me around the twist. She came into my room on the train wearing nothing but a flimsy nightie and pretended to cry and get in to bed with me."

I cringed. "Slut," I said simply. I would never in dream about throwing myself at my mentor. But then again my mentor was my pretend dad. Ew, thats really gross.

As soon as we reached the twelfth floor. I pushed Finnick toward the living area and raced to my bathroom. The annoying thing about jumpsuits was that toilet access was impossible, I hadn't been all day. After I was done I threw on some track suit bottoms and went back out.

Thor had arrived up and was talking admirably with Finnick on the couch. He gave me a small smile.

"I'm going to take a shower. It was nice meeting you Finnick." I sat down in Thor's place as he went to his room.

"Are you not showering?" Finnick asked.  
>"Is that I hint?" I asked in feign hurt.<p>

He nodded seriously. "Yes you stink. I don't know how I'm conscious right now."

I grinning wickedly and stretched out my arms, holding them up in the air.

Finnick rolled his eyes but then pulled out a small rectangle with a white circle on from his pocket. "How'd you like the songs."  
>I rested my arms and gave him a thumbs us. "They were fab."<p>

He connected a small wire with three ends to the rectangle and threw me a strange bud thing.

"Put that in your ear." I complied but then took it out as music blared down my ear. He laughed. "It's an MP6 player. It plays music."

I eyed him curiously before putting it back in. To my surprise _Super Bass_ by _Nicki Minaj_ flooded my head.

I began to sing a long with Finnick joining me. We listened to music and joked around for the rest of the evening until an avox came and handed Finnick a weird note. He left in a hurry but left the MP6 in my hands.

After all of the stress, it was nice to just chill and relax because who knew what the next few days would bring.

* * *

><p><strong>I know a lot of people may get a little annoyed about the way Emery acted but I thought she would be jealous. She's had Haymich to herself for years but now a boys come along and is getting more attention than her. She's a really complecated character and has a bit of a messed up head, something I'll be exploring in the next few chapters.<strong>

**Ive also planned this tale out properly. Instead on one long story, I've decided to divide it into three, three parts in each. And i know i said the games will be next chapter, but they'll be the one after that, this chapter was getting a little too long.**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed _SuzziQ, Liveh, Kaitaru Seras Viktoria Hatake, La-Lucy, smilin steph, lolamellark123, melody magic _(Hope i answered your question) _heatherstone, TheGirlWhoWasOnFire21, Ravenclaw Slytherin, crazy-forever, Lorelei Eve, _and _Talah_**

**Sorry for any typos**

**thanks for reading, let me know what you think : )**


	15. The Last Day

C H A P T E R F O U R T E E N

* * *

><p><em>On my last night on earth, I wont look to the sky<br>Just breathe in the air and blink in the light  
>On my last night on earth, I'll pay the high price<br>To have to regrets and be done with my life  
>- L. I. F. E. G. O. E. S. O. N, Noah and the Whale<em>

* * *

><p>The rest of training was dull. For the next two days Thor and I went from station to station, ignoring the weapons as much as we could.<p>

When we were back in the apartment though, that was a different story. I took it upon myself to teach Thor how to throw a knife but once Haymitch found out he joined our secret training team. We tried to keep it as secret as possible but Effie soon discovered the chunks of wood missing from my bedroom door.

There was a big problem though. Thor had no aim, whatsoever. He hit the wall several times. Since he worked in the mines he was pretty strong, despite having little meat on him, it was just that he couldn't hit a target to save his life. Literally.

Surprisingly, our saving grace was Finnick. He tactlessly hid in our quarters most the time. Every time he visited he had an even more disturbing story regarding Hydra. But he put himself to use and taught both Thor and I self-defence and basic survival skills that we may need in the arena.

"Don't you have your own tributes to attend to?" Effie asked him on the second night of training. Finnick was teaching Thor how to kick and block while I was showing off how high I could kick my leg.

"My tributes don't need me," he said simply.

Finnick wasn't an idiot, he saw what I saw. Twelve was shit on by everyone else, we were always put to the back of the pile. For once, we deserved an equal chance with everyone else.

Finnick may look careless and rude to everyone else but he was right. His tributes had been training their entire lives for this, they didn't need him. But Thor did.

On the last day of training I was hyper. After all this time I would finally be able to show what I could really do. I needed the best score as possible. If I did bad, the careers would see me as an easy meal, but if I got a high score they would back off a little. Why would they go chasing after me when they had no idea what I could do? The weakness card had been a fail for me, but mystery always worked.

It was quite dull though, waiting for the other tributes to finish their private session and surprise, surprise, twelve went last. After about an two hours of waiting, Thor was called in.

"Good luck," I called, giving him a small reassuring smile. He gave me a nervous nod before going through the door.

After what felt like an eternity, my name was called. I dusted myself down and followed the peacekeeper down the hallway, my heart beating twice as fast as normal. I nervously twisted the stud in my ear and played with my braclets, trying to calm myself.

The training room looked the same as usual except for the game makers who were sat talking on a balcony. I walked steadily to the centre of the room and looked up at them expectantly. They didn't move.

I squinted closer and realised that they were drunk. I was an expert on determining drunkard characteristics and these guys were way over the limit.

My blood boiled realising that yet again, twelve had gotten the short straw. Well I would give them the show of their lives and if they missed it, than it was their loss.

Ignoring Rohm's nagging voice in my head, I unzipped my jumpsuit and tied the arms around my middle. Now I was free to move.

I went over to the weapons and grabbed three knives, weighing them up in my hands. They were heavier than I was used to, but it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

I threw the first knife at a target, aiming a little higher than I would normally. It landed in the outer circle of the bullseye. I grinned and turned to the game makers.

They were still completely oblivious to my presence, laughing at a joke that Seneca Crane had told.

I growled loudly and threw the remaining knives simultaneously, both hitting the centre of their targets. I looked back up and saw that one of the game makers were looking with interest. That's good enough for me.

I whistled one of the attendants over who came at me with a fake knife. I defected it so easily it was pitiful.

Two more came over, looking a little more threatening than captain scrawn who I had just fought.

The first guy punched my head but I ducked down and swept his feet from under him. I picked up his rubber knife and lunged at the second attendant. He grabbed my wrist and twisted it with unnecessary force. I let out a small wimped of pain. He smiled.

I had gotten them all riled up. It wouldn't hurt to conflict some pain on them. I twisted around and kicked his side. He pushed me to the floor but I managed to flip up and push the rubber into his neck.

He looked like he wanted to continue but it was against the rules. As he saunted back to the others I turned to the game makers. Over half now were staring in interest. A triumphant grin forced it way onto my lips, but I covered it quickly.

I ran over to the survival skills area, doing cartwheels and flips as I went. It was showing off but I needed to get the best score as possible.

I spent next five minutes building fires, tying knots and creating snares. I knocked one down and it successfully caught the stuffed pigeon. Gale would be proud. I was halfway through building a trap noose when Seneca Crane's voice interrupted me.

"You are dismissed," he called boredly.

"But I'm not finished," I said, trying to sound as polite as possible.

A small gasp rang throughout the room. I looked down guilty, I shouldn't have said that. Seneca glared at me. I put out my fire and dusted myself down, apologising under my breath.

I nodded my head at them before jogging out.

What had I done? Talking back to the head game maker? I was in so much trouble. All my hardwork would go to waste. Sure, I could have done a lot worse, but I was guaranteed a low training score.

When I got back up to our floor I was surprised to see Haymitch, Thor and Finnick laughing on the couch.

"What are you doing here?" I asked a little harshly, trying to keep my jealously at bay.

"I've come to see my favourite people," Finnick answered, seemingly unfazed by my rudeness.

"Hydra annoying you?"

He gave me a cute boyish grin. "So, how did it go?"

"Ok," I said, sitting beside Haymitch. "They didn't really pay much attention to me though." I decided to leave out the part about me answering the head game maker back, it would only worry them.

"Me too," Thor piped up. "I'll be lucky if I get a three. Bastards."

"The curse of twelve," Haymitch said dully. He held out his whiskey bottle to me but I shook my head. I always declined, yet he always offered. It was cute.

"So are we free for the rest of the day?" I asked, I looked to the clock and saw it was a little after two. It would be nice to be able to relax for a while and not worry about training. But then I remembered about the interviews tomorrow. Damn.

"Yes you are, and so am I," Finnick said. "We should do some sightseeing."

"No," I said immediately, we didn't want a repeat performance of last time. He sighed and took a large gulp out of his energy drink before crushing it in his hands.

"Thor will come won't you?"  
>Thor shrugged and stood up with him. "Haven't got anything better to do."<p>

The two of them looked at me expectantly. "We'll get some pancakes and ice cream," Finnick tempted.

I smiled in defeat. "Fine," I mumbled, but then realised I was still in my jumpsuit. "Two minutes," I said before racing off to my room.

As I had untied it earlier, my jumpsuit easily slid off. I sprayed myself with a deodorant before putting on a pair of shorts and a tshirt. It seemed to be ever sunny in the Capitol, something I was desperate to take advantage of.

The last time I had been outside was the opening ceremonies. It would be nice to get some fresh air and sunlight. It was a wonder I hadn't shrivelled up.

They were already waiting for me in the elevator when I came out of my room. Thor looked elated. Well, not really, but compared to his usual 'life has no meaning' droop, he was practically bouncing off the walls.  
>My stomach churned in excitement as we walked through the lobby. Were tributes allowed to leave, who knew? But they couldn't stop us. And now was the last chance to be free.<p>

Finnick took us for a pizza. It was a hard bread with tomato and cheese on it. It was pretty greasy and gross, yet tasted amazing. Not as good as pancakes, but still good. I dragged the two of them to the baker next where we had our pancakes.

The owner remembered me from last time and gave us free ice cream too. He also wished me look and told me that he had placed a bet that I would win. It was a pity and novelty gamble but I didn't care. At least someone believed I could do this.

"Where to now?" Finnick asked once we had eaten.  
>I shrugged. "I don't know, but we need to get back soon. They're announcing the training scores."<p>

He swore loudly under his breath. "I forgot about that."  
>"It's a good thing we keep an eye on things," Thor joked.<p>

"I've barely seen my tributes today," Finnick mumbled before shrugging. "Oh well, they can take care of themselves," he said with a guilty grin. He took a swig out of his can of soda. I think it was soda anyway. Initially I had thought it was beer but he assured me it was just something to keep him going. Energy drink, I now remember what it was called. It sounded fishy but he assured me it was fine.

"How about the mall?" Finnick suggested. I narrowed my eyes at him and was about to give a cutting remark but Thor beat me to it.  
>"Wants the point of buying clothes if we're going to be dead before we can wear them?" he asked dully.<p>

"Yeah Finnick, why?" I stirred the pot. It was nice of him to take us out and all, but I was tired and our training scores would be announced in less than an hour. I would kill him if we missed it.

"Why are you so grumpy, spoilt sport?" he pouted.  
>"We have been in training all morning thank you very much," I defended.<p>

Finnick brought his face closer to mine, his breath tickling my face. "Are you sure-"  
>"That it's we're going back," I said standing up. I could not deal with flirty Finnick on the best of days. He thought he could just purr at women to get his own way. Well I wouldn't allow that.<p>

"You've got to stop doing that," I scolded as we walked down the street to our car. It sat on the corner, the spooky driver unmoved since we left.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it," he said. After months of knowing him I realised he was right, he couldn't help it. But that was no excuse. We got into the car, Finnick sandwiched between Thor and I.

"How are you going to land a girl?" I asked sarcastically. For some reason, Capitol idiots loved fake-Finn.  
>"No matter what I do she doesn't return my feelings. Not that I blame her," he muttered. Finnick put his head in his hands as Thor and I exchanged a confused look over his shoulder. What the hell was he on about?<p>

Thankfully it was only a short ride to the training centre. Finnick finally got off at his rightful floor. We both thanked him, feeling a little ungrateful for his efforts. He wished us look before leaving us alone, rising to the penthouse.

"Well that was fun," Thor said. I couldn't make out if he was serious or not so I settled for a small smile.  
>"How mad do you think Effie's going to be that we left?" I asked.<br>"Very."

That was an understatement. As soon as the elevator doors opened she was on. I had no idea how long she had been waiting there for but by the looks of her frazzled, unkempt hair, it was a while.

"Where have you been? Do you not know that it is against the rules to leave without your escort's permission. You could have ran away, and where would have that left me, hmm? And your training scores are in ten minutes!" she shouted. I shrunk away and hid behind Thor, hoping that he would get the full blast of it. "The security here is lacking. How did you even get out?"

"Finnick took us for dinner," I told her quietly.  
>Her frown turned into a triumphant smile as the angry lines in her forehead smoothed away.<p>

"Did any photographers take pictures?" she asked.  
>Thor nodded. "They were waiting outside."<p>

Effie clapped excitedly. "This is perfect. Publicity is just what we need. Now Emery I hoped you looked a lot happier than you do now. Remember that you and Mr. Odair are..."

I tuned her out and sat by Haymitch on the large sofa who had a brandy in hand, waiting for the scores. I kicked my shoes off and pulled my legs up. I debated resting up against Haymitch but I knew he wouldn't like it.  
>Effie and Thor sat next to me while Rohm and Silvan sat on the arm chairs.<p>

Effie continued to chatter right up until the anthem played and Caesar Flickerman popped up on screen.  
>I jumped back in shock. His hair was dyed bright red, making him look as though he had suffered a terrible head injury and was bleeding to death.<p>

He turned and smiled at the camera. "Hello and welcome to the 73rd Hunger Games training scores results." he went off and described what we had been doing for the past few days.

My stomach began to knot. "Has anyone ever gotten a zero?" I asked, slightly panicky.  
>"You won't get a zero," Haymitch answered quickly.<p>

"You don't know that," I mumbled, but no one answered.  
>My heart was in my mouth as Caesar read out the scores. The boy from one, Nik got a ten! His district partner, Rainbow got an eight. I had to do my best not to laugh at her name.<p>

Two's brutal tributes both got nines, three scored fairly low.

Ethos', from fours, hard face appeared on the screen with a ten next to it followed by Hydra who got a nine. I was happy to see that she hadn't received the highest. That would knock her down a peg or two.

The rest of the tributes varied from low to average scores. I began to get nervous. It seemed like hours before Thor's picture appeared on screen.  
>"From district twelve: Thor Reynolds... Seven."<p>

We all clapped wildly as Thor looked down, his ears tinged pink. It wasn't the greatest score, but our district hadn't had such a high score in years.  
>My picture was replaced with Thor's. "Also from District Twelve, Emery Abernathy," Caesar paused dramatically. I stopped breathing, there was silence in the room. "Ten," he said with a small smile.<p>

"Ten?" I asked in shock but sure enough the number appeared next to my picture.  
>Haymitch clapped me on the back as the others cheered. "See, told you you'd be fine."<p>

Thor came over and awkwardly squeezed my arm. "Well done Em."  
>"You too," I said embarrassedly. "Who knows, we may have a chance now."<br>He mumbled something quietly under his breath but I didn't have time to answer him as Effie dragged me away to Rohm.

"We're in now but we have our work cut out for us tomorrow with the interviews."  
>I groaned loudly. The interviews, how I could I forget the most importantpainful part of the build up. And it was tomorrow.

**:-:**

An attendant pushed me down in my seat with seconds to spare. As soon as I hit the chair, the anthem played and the curtains arose. I placed my hands on my legs in a feeble attempt to ease their jiggling; it didn't work.

My eyes blurred as the cheering crowd came into view, their colorful outfits mixing together like paint.  
>The entire day of prep could not have prepared me for this. I had spent my time split between Haymitch and Effie, both of them stating they could do nothing for me. I could walk in heels, lie and act perfectly. It was all up to me now.<p>

I zoned out slightly and ran through my plan in my head as the other tributes were interviewed. I would be cute, charming, ditzy, clueless and innocent. How I got a ten in training? I had no idea; then I would giggle. It was obnoxious to say the least, but it was all part of the game. Part of the character I had invented. I could do anything, probably even fight people, if I wasn't myself. I just had to zone out and go to that place inside of me where I felt no shame.  
>All too soon, the bell for the district eleven boy rang out. It was my turn.<p>

I squinted my eyes to shield myself from the flashes and walked slowly to the front, my five inch heels tottering loudly across the stage.  
>Caesar stood up and took my hand, leading me over to the chairs. I plastered a great smile on my face and sat down as gracefully as I could, trying to ignore to roaring crowd and focusing my attention on him. It was just the two of us having a normal conversation...<p>

"Emery, Emery," he began dramatically. "Don't you look ravishing." He flicked up the corner of my puffy red dress.  
>"Thank you, as do you. We match," I said, gesturing up to his blood red hair. The crowd laughed loudly, it was easy to amuse these people.<p>

Caesar chuckled. "Ah yes, but I think you look just the teeniest bit better than me."

I mock gasped. "Oh never. That's why there was a record number of volunteers this year, they wanted to see you!" I snuck a sly glance at Hydra who looked murderous.

"Oh stop my darling, you're making me blush," he said dramatically.  
>"Please don't, then we won't be able to see where your face ends and your hair begins," I said drily. I didn't mean to say that, it slipped out and wasn't part of my plan. But the crowd loved it, even Caesar laughed.<p>

"Oh my darling, I could talk to you all night, but let's get down to business. Training. A ten. The highest score from an outline district in twenty seven years if I'm not mistaken."

I looked down at my feet and pretended to be embarrassed. "I seriously have to idea how I got that score. I mean look at me, I've seen tea cups bigger than me."

He affectionately patted my knee. "Come on Miss Abernathy, they are no secrets here. What really happened in the training room? We won't tell anybody, will we folks?" the crowd shook their heads and cheered loudly.

I gave them a small smile. "It's really not that exciting. But I can't tell you, you know the rules..." I added mysteriously.  
>They groaned and begged for answers but Caesar hushed them immediately, his tanned shiny hands waving them to silence.<p>

"Oh no, I have a better question for you." The crowd went silent. "Two words Miss Abernathy: Finnick Odair." They screamed again, so loudly that I squinted away from them. I feared this, especially since the photos from our lunch yesterday were released. Strangely, Thor had been cropped out all of them...

"Honestly, we're just good friends." It was the first truthful thing I had told him, and the fool didn't believe me. "No it's true," I smiled, rebuffing his probing.

"Do you have a fella at home then?"  
>I could feel my cheeks hotting up for a reason unknown to me, but I covered it quickly by a shy shake of my head.<p>

"Come on, a beautiful girl like you, I don't believe it."  
>"Sorry but no male attention for me and even if there was I fear Haymitch would just scare them away."<p>

The crowd laughed again loudly. I looked out to them for the first time and tried to find Haymitch but it was an impossible task.  
>"So what's it like to have the legend that is Haymitch Abernathy as your father?"<p>

My eyes finally found his sitting near the back of the balcony right next to the bar. I could have easily come up with a witty comment, but I didn't.  
>"It's the best," I said quietly. "People only really see one side to him and judge him. But there's so much more to him than the drunkard lone victor from district twelve."<p>

A small sigh and a chorus of 'Aws' rippled around me. My legs began to shake again as my guard was let down but thankfully the bell rang out behind me, signalling that my time was up.  
>Caesar gave me a rare sincere smile which looked quite creepy. He took a hold of my hand and kissed it lightly. "Well I hope he won't be a lone victor for long," he mumbled against my knuckles. He grabbed my hand and trust it into the air. "Ladies and Gentlemen from District Twelve, Emery Abernathy!"<p>

I let out a sigh of relief as I walked back to my seat, passing Thor on the way. I gave him a small reassuring smile which he returned before sitting down in my vacated seat next to Caesar.

I returned to my place next to the other victors, most of them giving me glares. I took that as I good sign; I played the crowd well.

"Hello Mr Reynolds!"  
>"Hello Mr Flickerman," Thor replied in the same polite tone. His eyes looked droopy and uncaring. Considering he didn't want to win, he really was holding his own. With his training score and attitude, he could do quite well.<p>

"Let's get straight to business. A seven in training?" the crowd clapped lightly as Thor shrugged.  
>"Average. Suppose for an outline it was ok, but Em got a ten."<br>I was all for him getting the attention off himself, but not putting it on me. I looked down and played with them hem of my dress and the camera blasted my face onto the big screen.

Caesar laughed and squeezed Thor's shoulder. "I've got to say, I haven't seen anyone so unfazed by this experience in years. Even at the reaping you looked untroubled. Tell us, what was going through your head?"

Thor lifted his head up toward the crowd, his hansom angular face becoming illuminated by light. "You wanna know?" the crowd cheered. "It's numbing. Your names pulled out the jar and there's nothing you can do about it. And unless you've been training, there's no hope for you. I'm a dead man and there's no point dwelling on that."

A small gasp rang throughout the square. My head immediately jolted up to the balcony where Haymitch sat with his hand slapped across his forehead.  
>That was one of his few rules: don't say anything stupid. Just play it their way, even if it was wrong. If you offended the game makers you would suffer later. The tributes were supposed to pretend that the games were a blessing but Thor had given them an insight into how things truly were. Not in my lifetime had anyone been so blunt.<p>

"Surely you're wrong, what would your family say, your girl?" Caesar said in his usual chipper voice.  
>"They would be sad but better off. I use more money than I earn. And I have no girl," Thor said boredly.<p>

"No girl, what is wrong with you district twelve. Two good looking people, single?" Caesar asked in a desperate bid to turn the interview around. The crowd laughed.

Thor looked behind him and caught my eye. I slightly shook my head. _Stick to your plan_, I urged him. It was as though he could read my mind. He inclined his head downward before turning back to the audience.

"I'm not normally this jolly," he said monotonously. It had the desired effect as everyone erupted into laughter. Even the tributes from five and eight smiled slightly.

His interview went smoothly for the next few minutes until the bell rang out. I let out a sigh of relief as the curtains went down.

Attendants came and ushered us away to the lobby. I got a little lost in the crowd, but I knew my way around. I got into the elevator with the district seven mentors and their tributes. Joanna Mason nodded at me shortly as I came in before turning back to the other mentor, moaning about a Capitol girl who had knocked a drink into her lap.

I toned her out and focused on the rising Capitol skyline, realisation suddenly hitting me. I had been so anxious about the interviews that I had completely forgotten that the games were tomorrow.

I waited for the others to get off on the seventh floor before sliding down the window, huddling in a ball on the floor of the elevator. In just over twelve hours I would be in the arena.

As much as I hated the Capitol, I would rather stay in its sheltered lifestyle than go through tomorrow. Because by this time tomorrow I would have become a murderer or be dead. And frankly I didn't know which one was worse.

I wasn't going to kid myself. I wasn't strong enough to be a decent person and hide away somewhere until the end. No, I was selfish, impulsive. As my previous actions showed I would do anything to survive. If a kid came at me with a knife, I doubt I'd hesitate to stab him first.

But soon there would be no wondering about it...

As we reached the twelfth floor I dusted off my dress and tried to calm myself down a little. It didn't work. I slowly stepped into our apartment but found it empty. I kicked off my shoes that were digging into my feet and stomped over to the sofa.

As soon as my butt hit the chair the elevator dinged and the rest of the party walked in, Effie looking chipper, and Thor looking strangely solemn. But there was someone missing.

"Where's Haymitch?" I asked.  
>"I don't know but I could probably guess where," Rohm said, throwing himself down on the sofa opposite me and pouring himself a glass of champagne.<p>

"Oh."

I glared at Rohm. I don't know why he was drinking. He had nothing to celebrate, nor nothing to morn. When we died in the coming weeks he would get promoted. We meant nothing.

"Now this is usually the part of the evening filled with last minute advice but since your mentors disappeared I think it's best if you go to bed early," Effie said. "You've got a big, big day tomorrow."

Thor and I nodded and silently left for our rooms, both of us stopping outside but neither of us quite knowing what to say to the other. I studied him for a moment, taking note of his once hollow cheeks, the pink flush on his skin. It was a sin that he had finally gained some life in him, only for it all to be ripped away tomorrow.

"Good luck tomorrow," I said quietly. "And please don't give up." He stared back at me curiously but I was already half way in my room. Awkward conversations made me uncomfortable.

When I got inside I looked around my room for something to do. There was no way I would be going to sleep anytime soon. I took off some of my makeup only to reapply it five minutes later. I changed out of my dress into another one, before trying on the Capitol outfits in my closet, well the normal ones anyway.

I then put on my pyjamas, lay there for ten minutes before getting up and cleaning my room then going back to bed.

I couldn't stand it. If anything I just wished the games were now. At least I wouldn't have to wait so long in this torturous room. The walls began to close in on me; I had to get out there.

I grabbed a jacket and raced outside. The clock in the hallway read 1am. Great.

I needed some air but there was no way I was going downstairs in my pyjamas. Someone had mentioned earlier that there was a roof garden. But how did you get up there?

I poked my head in the elevator and saw no buttons that indicated there was a garden. An Avox was cleaning the kitchen floor so I ran over to her.  
>"Excuse me, do you know where the roof is?"<p>

She nodded and pointed to a door on the far side of the room that I thought was a cupboard. I opened it and saw a stairway leading from the bottom of the building to the top. But the twelfth floor wasn't where it stopped, it continued for another flight. I thanked the woman and raced up the stairs, feeling even less tired than before.

The cold air hit me as I opened the door but it was refreshing. I stood there and took in the beautiful surroundings. The buds, the flowers. It was a shame so few people knew this was here.

I walked around the garden but froze when I saw a figure at the edge, overlooking the skyline. But I knew his perfect posture anywhere, the silhouette of his perfectly quaffed hair and the can of energy drink in his hand.

"Finnick?" I asked.

He jumped a little before spinning around to face me, a small smile on his lips. "Hello Emery, can't sleep?" I shook my head. "If it's any consolation I bet the other tributes aren't either."

"It's not," I mumbled drily. He smiled again and beckoned me over. I stood beside him and let the cold swim around me, taking my nerves and troubles with it.

"Your interview was good. There's buzz about you. You should be proud," he told me.

"Proud? Because I didn't choke in an interview. I've done nothing with my life. I'm going to die tomorrow and there is nothing to show for my life." He went to protest but I continued. "I've never watched a sunrise or set. I've never been to a real party that wasn't hunger games related, I've never been in love, I've never been kissed, or had a rant about my boss because I've never had a job. I haven't lived yet," I said quietly.

Finnick grabbed me roughly and pulled me into his arms. I sobbed loudly, burying my face into his chest. "I'm not ready to die," I whispered. He stroked my hair softly.

"I know, but you can't stand here crying about it." he pulled back and took me by my shoulders. "This could be your last night and I have an idea."

"Wha-"  
>"Just go to your room and put a nice dress on, I'll be in your lounge. Go."<p>

I reluctantly went back down the stairs and to my room. Luckily, thanks to all the procrastination earlier, I knew exactly what dress I was going to wear. It was simple black and fell to the knees, perfect for any occasion. I was a little apprehensive of what Finnick had planned but I trusted him enough for it not to be too horrible. Besides, It was go out with Finnick or lie in bed unsleeping, loosing myself in awful daydreams about the games.

He was waiting for me outside the elevator. His hands shoved in his dress pants pockets, still wearing his clothes from earlier, though looking slightly dishevelled.

"You look lovely," he said, taking my hand. "Now I'm sorry but flirty-Finn will emerge tonight, please don't hate me."

I shrugged realising now that it was all part of an act. If you wanted to survive here, you needed to play up to them. I had to do the same.

"So I guess it's time to morph into sweet fun and innocent Emery?"

He nodded. We took the elevator to the lobby then took a taxi into the town. Cars didn't really faze me anymore so I spent the ride quizzing Finnick on where we were going. He remained tight lipped though.

We pulled up outside a dingy building, a light up sign reading 'Vintage' the only sign of life.

"I wanted to take you to a real party, and I know you hate all the Capitol stuff so I thought this would be perfect," he said leading me inside. A small thud of familiar music began to flood my ears.

"Is that Nicki Minaj?" I asked.  
>He laughed, "Welcome to the only underground America bar in the Capitol."<p>

He swung open the doors to reveal a room lit up with different colored lasers and lights. The place was filled with Capitol citizens dancing, drinking, laughing. But what struck me the most was how normal they looked. They were dressed like I was, no feathers or sequins. Just... Normal.

"This is incredible!" I said excitedly, feeling my feet moving by themselves and tapping to the music.

"Hey Finn!" a tall man with a scraggly beard called, coming over to us. "Whose your- Emery Abernathy?"

I nodded smally. "Hi."  
>"She's in need of a good last night," Finnick said to him.<p>

The guy seemed to regain himself and pulled us over to the bar, fetching us drinks. I did not hesitate; I just drank with the rest of them, wanting to enjoy my final night.

Finnick asked the barmaid if I could work for half an hour, getting me my first job. Though the night seemed to blur after about an hour as I danced and drank with Finnick and the Capitol teens, forgetting completely about my fate tomorrow. Ryan, the guy with the beard, was an expert on American music and was constantly over at the DJ picking songs to play.

At around 4am, the manager came in and said that the peacekeepers were on their way. Finnick grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs, but our car had gone.

"Guess we're walking until we find a cab," he said, pulling me along. I stumbled slightly and giggled.  
>"If I can walk." I looked up at the sky and saw it getting lighter. Maybe I would see a sunrise after all.<p>

Finnick smiled and rolled his eyes. "You're an awful drunked," he said, slurring his words. I laughed loudly, a little too loudly.

"Look who's talking." A silence fell between us for a few minutes as we walked along the busy road.

"Thanks for tonight," I said suddenly, as we neared the training centre. "It was a lot of fun."  
>"I had fun too. Could have spent it with a bunch of girls, but I can honestly say your better company."<p>

I laughed and leant up again a wall, kicking off my shoes and picking them up. I didn't care if we were nearly back, my feet hurt too much. "I saw them all crowding around you. Bravo for turning them away."

"Were you jealous?" he asked, staring down at me.  
>I scoffed. "You wish."<p>

It all happened so quickly. One minute I was laughing and the next minute Finnick's lips were on mine, pushing against them forcefully. I jumped back in shock, putting my shoes between us.

"What are you doing?" I cried hysterically.  
>"I thought you wanted to-"<p>

"No. Gosh Finnick, not every girl wants to get with you!"

I gave him one last fleeting glance before storming up the steps to the training centre. He looked so sad and regretful but I didn't care. That was my first kiss and he had wrongfully stolen it.

I looked up at the sky and saw that the sun had risen sometime during the incident and I had missed it. Stupid Finnick Odair.

* * *

><p><strong>Im so so sorry i havent updated, but I've had exams these past few weeks. I still have a couple left, but I forced this chapter out of myself as it has been three weeks!<strong>

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed _Kerry, , La-Lucy, TheGirlWhoWasOnFire21, Talee, KeepingTheSecret, SilensFlos, Ravenclaw Slytherin and Crazy-ForeverxXx._**

**Its the games next chapter so the story will take a little darker tone, but I have some nice moments planned for chapter sixteen...**

**Thanks so much for reading, let me know what you think : )**


	16. The Arena

C H A P T E R F I F T E E N

* * *

><p>Run, run, run and hide<br>Somewhere no one else can find  
>Tall trees bend their leaves<br>Pointing where to go  
>Where you will still be all alone<p>

Run, fast as you can  
>No one has to understand<br>Fly high across the sky, from here to kingdom come  
>Fall back down to where you're from<p>

- Kingdom Come, The Civil Wars

* * *

><p>My head pounded the next morning. My eyes seemed to burn as the sunlight exploded into the room. Where was I? I squinted into the light and saw Rohm had opened the curtains, a hair dryer and brush in hand. Oh, today was the day.<p>

"You had quite the night," he said loudly, sounding very amused. His voice seemed amplified in my head.

"What?" I tried to sit up but the room span around. I gasped as the events from the night before came rushing back. I snuck out, I got drunk in an underground bar and Finnick kissed me! I groaned again and shoved a pillow over my face.

Had I been too hard on him? I was drunk and had unintentionally hinted earlier about never being kissed. But he shouldn't have just kissed me, we were friends right? And in a few hours I would be battling for my life.

He really needed to learn how to be around girls. Not everyone was interested in the physical part of him. Sure he was good looking, but I didn't like him in that way. There was someone else who kept evading my mind...

For the millionth time in the past few days Gale appeared in my mind. His awful short hair cut, his scarred hands, his tanned skinned which made him look dirty. But yet he was always in my head, and for some reason I couldn't shake him. Even though I was hundreds of miles away, hanging out with the sex symbol of Panam, he was here. Even now I was getting excited for the next time I saw him. Well, if I saw him.

I slowly opened my eyes and sat up. I couldn't be thinking about this now. I needed to get focused.  
>But something Rohm had said sent a churn in my stomach. "How did you know about last night?" I must have been caught on CCTV. Oh, I was in trouble.<p>

"Well-"

Effie came barging through the door, waving her tablet, which she read the news on, around. "Emery, you are by far the best tribute I've ever looked after," she chipped happily.

"What?" I asked, getting out of bed too quickly, my head swirling. Stupid hangover. I took the tablet and was immediately greeted with video footage of Finnick kissing me and me pushing him away, hitting him with my shoes in the process.

"Oh no," I muttered, sitting back down on the bed. Last night was already embarrassing enough, now the entire country knew. I would be a laughing stock.

"What's so terrible. The sponsors will be queuing around the corner!" Effie said excitedly, her annoying Capitol accent laced with fake reassurance.

Rohm pulled me up and shoved me into a plain white tank top and leggings. "You get changed later, but it's a long ride to the arena," he told me.

I began to panic again. But the anxiousness was soothed with the arrival of Haymitch at the door. Despite my throbbing head, I ran to him and threw my arms around his torso.

"I thought I'd never see you again," I whispered into his chest.

He hesitantly put his arms around me before pulling me into closer, his grip on my shoulder hurting slightly. But it was a good pain.

"Of course not kid, I need to do some mentoring." He rather knew nothing about the Finnick thing or was just ignoring it for my sake. Probably the latter, you couldn't miss anything with Effie about.

"Now when you first get into the arena, ignore the cornucopia."  
>"What?" I asked, pulling away.<p>

"They don't call it a bloodbath for nothing. You're the girl who got the mysterious ten, it's the perfect time to dispose of you. Just run, put as much distance as you can between you and the other tributes. Find shelter, find water. Hopefully you'll last until nightfall. If you get sponsors, which I sincerely think you will, than I will get you a weapon. Something small until you can get your hands on a better one. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I nodded. Kill to get a weapon and supplies. His voice was unusually calm, but his eyes were frantic, his hands shaking. I knew he wanted to say more, but it just wasn't in his nature to be so open. I was closer to him than anyone, but he still had up a wall.

I looked up at him as Rohm ushered me out of the room and wondered where I would be without him. Dead. I had so much to thank him for, not just my life. He had unwittingly made me a better person.

I blinked away a stray tear as I was guided to the stairs that led to the roof. Haymitch still stood in my doorway with Effie looking small and young, despite his haggard look.

I gave him a weak smile before going through the door.

"Emery," he called softly, his voice thick with emotion. "Thanks for knocking on my door.

My smile was unforced, genuine as the the tears flowed freely down my cheeks. "Thanks for letting me in."

**:-:**

Waiting for us on the roof was a small hovercraft. I don't remember much from the ride. As soon as we got on board, my tracker was implanted in my arm. It hurt but I barely had time to protest as a needle was placed in my neck, rendering me unconscious.

It didn't do a great job though, I occasionally drifted awake. The time on Rohm's watch changing drastically.

When I woke up properly, the watch read ten am. We had been traveling for over two hours. Where was the arena?

"We need to get you changed and made up," Rohm told me, leading me off the hovercraft. I nodded trying not to think about anything.

As he did my hair and makeup, I closed my eyes and tried to think of home. What Peeta and Madge would be doing. Peeta would be working, it was a Tuesday, though it could be Friday. I had completely lost track of time since I had been here. Either way, Peeta would be working, he had to keep himself busy.

He would then go to the Square and stand with Madge, who would need him to keep calm. She would be in one of her usual pretty dresses, probably white or cream.

Gale would probably be at home, muttering death wishes on the Capitol. For some reason, this comforted me. I mentally joined in, poking fun at Rohm's stupid neck tattoo that made him look part tiger.

"Ok I'm done," Rohm said, handed me a bunch of black material. "Heres your uniform."

I looked curiously at the clothes in my hand. It was a jumpsuit similar to our training uniforms but thankfully a little smaller. I took off my pants and slid into my uniform. Even though it was a perfect fit, Rohm secured a belt around my waist.

"It's for supplies. Weapons and stuff," he explained. "Got your token? Good. I guess we're done then." He looked at his watch. "With twenty minutes to spare."

He tried to get me to eat something but it was no good. I thought I was going to be sick. The sleeping serum had thankfully cured my hangover but a new pain had arrived and it was spreading throughout my body. My feet tingled, my legs shook, my stomach churned...

Okay now Emery focus. You can do this. First days just a sprint, finding shelter, that's all I had to do. My thoughts couldn't assure me though. My mind wandered back home though but all it did was make me even more emotional.

All too soon it was time. Rohm pulled me up and led me over to the tube. I felt sick, I was going to be sick. I made it to the bin just in time as what little food I had eaten came up.

Rohm gave be a sip of water before pushing me back toward to tube.

"Tight schedule," he explained. "Now try not to look to awful. Maybe smile once and a while. I've got a reputation to withhold."

"Sorry to be an inconvenience," I mumbled, stepping into my round transparent coffin. Rohm shut the door behind me. He gave me a small nod before I began to rise up.

I frantically put my hands on the glass, shaking uncontrollably. I hated being underground, but in that moment I would have given anything to stay down there.

Light blinded me as I broke the surface before focusing on the arena around. The tributes were all rising like me but I didn't care for them, only my surroundings mattered.

It appeared that we were in the ruins of an old city. The buildings were so tall, big enough to rival the Capitol. The occasional car lay overturned next to the huge cracks in the road where plants had begun to grow through. There were posters on the side of the buildings that had half fallen down. One of a creepy mask, another of a witch. What was this place?

The cornucopia stood in front of us, surrounded by various weapons and supplies, but I couldn't concern myself with that now, I needed to make a plan.

The countdown began to countdown from sixty. I gripped my bracelets tightly and prayed for help. Where would I run to? Some of the buildings looked like they could crumble you under them.

I looked around frantically and a cracked screen in the distance caught my eye. A memory of looking through a picture book when I was younger popped into my head.

"That's New York," my mother told me, pointing to the picture of the busy square. Times square. "It was devastated by nuclear weapons. They said it was the city that never slept, anything could happen. There were parties, museums and a great park in the centre..."

The park. That was where I would go. But I had no idea what direction it was in.

The ten second countdown had begun. I needed to focus on getting as far away from the cornucopia as possible, then I'd worry about the park.

"Seven, Six..."

I planted my shaking legs firmly on the ground and crouched down, getting ready to run. The other tributes were doing the same, some looking less sure of themselves. I put on my determined mask, thinking of Thor as I did so.

"Five, Four..."

He was stood furthest away from me, being from twelve we were both on the ends. I gave him a small reassuring smile which he returned. He looked sick. I hoped he would be ok.

"Three..."  
>I looked around to see of there was anything I could grab easily. There was a large backpack not far from me.<p>

"Two..."  
>I could grab it then go left before doubling back on myself, avoiding the bloodbath.<p>

"One."

I launched off my pad and sprinted to the backpack on my left. I could see the boy from three coming for it too but he was a slow runner and I reached it before him. I slung it over my left arm and looked at the fight that was forming behind me.

The careers had already reached the weapons and were beginning to slaughter anyone who came in there way. I let out a small scream as the twelve year old girl from nine had her throat slit by Nik, from one. I needed to get out of here but I could barely move, completely frozen by the horrors in front of me.

"I'm coming for you Abernathy!" a female voice called from the entrance of the cornucopia. Hydra. She stood with a large sword in her hand, grinning hungrily.

That got me moving. I ran down the street to my left, gripping the bag with my dear life. She would give up on me eventually, but her passionate hate was winning at the moment.

I continued down the street, jumping over pieces of rubble as I went. I slowed down slightly as I secured the other strap of the backpack on my shoulder before sprinting again.

I didn't like being out in the open on a main road, I needed to go down one of the many side roads or alley ways that branched out from the street I was running along. I stuck a look behind me and saw Hydra retreating back to the Cornucopia. Gosh, she gave up quickly.

I ran down an alley between the ruins of two warehouses but found it to be a dead end. Turning sharply, I carried on back down the road, turning right at the next street. It was a lot sheltered than the main road off the cornucopia. I stopped for ten seconds, counting them perfectly as I caught my breath. I was beginning to tire now, but I needed to keep going. I was too close to the danger.

I turned left and continued running for another ten minutes before stopping to rest for a little while longer. I had seen no sign of water, trees or any type of plantation. Just rubble.

I was rather going in the wrong direction or this arena was a lot bigger than I thought.

I looked up at the building I was leaning against. It was quite tall. Maybe I could get onto the roof and see where everything was. It was a better plan than running blindly. I made my way back onto the main road and around the front entrance but the door was locked. Damn.

I crossed the street and picked up a rock before throwing it through the window. It shattered with a loud crash. Maybe that wasn't a great idea, everyone was now alerted to my location.

I quickly hopped through the window and found the stairway quite quickly. There were about fifty flights of stairs. Sprinting for ten minutes straight was one thing, but my calfs couldn't handle going upstairs.

After climbing about halfway, I deemed it was safe to have a look at the contents of my backpack. I sat down on a step and took out a pot, a canteen, a dish and a set of cutlery. Typically the knife was as blunt as anything and couldn't be used as a weapon.

There was also a sleeping bag, iodine for cleaning water, some rope and elastic, crackers, three oat bars, jerky, sunglasses, a hat and spare socks. I had a feeling that the weather would be changing a lot.

As I packed my things back up and carried on walking, it all began to sink in. For the past twenty minutes I felt as though I was living in a dream or nightmare but now it was all true.

I wondered if the fight at the Cornucopia was still going on, there had been no canons yet. I wondered about Thor too, if he was alive.  
>I had ignored my own advice and gotten slightly attached to him. He wasn't a bad guy, pretty nice even. I'd hate for anything to happen to him.<p>

When I got to the roof, I was glad of my decision to come up here. I could see almost everything within a mile radius. There were of course, a few taller buildings that would have been better but this one did the job.

I was actually very near the coast, by a river I think. The park was a little east to where I was. Close, but I wasn't originally going in the right direction.

Okay, so it would take me about ten minutes to get the park. Then I would find shelter and settle for the night. It was a little early but the careers would be going on the hunt soon, I needed to hide as soon as possible and I didn't trust these buildings.

With just the push of a button the Gamemakers could collapse them. My life and fate was in my own hands, not theirs. I turned to go back down the stairs but the sound of the cannon stopped me dead in my tracks. I counted.

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven.

Eleven killed in the first half hour. I hoped that by some miracle that the Careers had all be killed. But I knew that would never happen.  
>They were on the move now, hunting. I needed to get shelter.<p>

I hoped no one else knew any of the stories from old America about New York. This would be a great advantage to me. Hopefully the others would still be wandering aimlessly around.

I hooked my bag back on my back and raced down the stairs. It was always easier to go down than it was to go up. I peered out the window before jumping out quickly, almost cutting my hands on the glass.

I stuck to the side roads and went east to the park. After about five minutes, the trees came into view.

The park wasn't as covered as I hoped it would be; roads ran in between the trees. With my fork in my hand as my only weapon of defence, I ran through the trees.

I was a lot more comfortable in here than on the streets. This was more homely, more familiar. Throughout the park though, there were signs. 'Fifth Avenue' this way or ones for a reservoir. I passed a lake but didn't really want to make base so close to the city, I needed to go deeper.

After crossing another road I came across the reservoir. It was huge an quite beautiful actually. This would be where I made my base.

I took out my canteen and kettle and filled them with water before adding iodine drops. While waiting for them to be sterilised I found a tree to rest in. It was big and had a thick trunk, it looked like one of the oldest here. It would probably draw a lot of visitors seeking for shelter but for now it was mine.

The branches were high and it was initially difficult to clamber up. But once I was going, it was easy. The branches too were thick and sturdy. I climbed about twenty feet before they begun to get weaker. Here was good. I took out my sleeping bag and rope and made a little den in the trees.

Now all I had to do was wait.

**:-:**

It was getting dark when I heard the crack of twigs beneath me. I shot up from my nap immediately and saw a boy settled into the bottom of my tree. Was he stupid or something, he couldn't hide there. He would be caught for sure. Though I saw from his haul that he wasn't a complete fool. He had done well at the cornucopia.

He had a blanket, food, two water bottles and what looked like a large jagged knife in his hand. I wanted that. I need it. These snacks wouldn't last forever, I needed to hunt. Plus, I could easily get ambushed and I had nothing to defend myself but a fork.

As much as my conscience was protesting, I had to do it. It would be better to get over my fear of killing now that later when I was head to head with the career pack. Oh I was such a monster.

But I had nothing to use. I threw my arms down uselessly on my lap, hitting my annoying belt as I did so. An evil plan began to form in my head...

As quietly as I could I began to pack up my things before taking my belt off. Frankly I didn't see the need for a belt on a jumpsuit, but I wasn't complaining. This was my only weapon.

I waited for him to fall asleep but of course he didn't, it was too early. The only reason I had managed to nap was due to my lack of sleep from the night before.

I sighed. Could it have really been less than a day ago when I was talking to Caesar, having fun at a party, Finnick kissing me. I wanted nothing more to apologise. I needed to make it out so I could beg for his forgiveness. He was a great friend, and those were hard to find.

At nightfall, the anthem began to play as the Capitol seal was projected into the sky. Of course, this was where they would show the dead victors. I had completely forgotten.

The picture of the girl from two appeared, which meant both from one survived. Then came the girl from three followed by the boy from five. Both from seven, the boys from eight and nine. Then both from ten an eleven before the sky went black.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Thor was alive. I smiled slightly to myself. He had made it away from the bloodbath. Not bad for the guy who didn't want to win this thing.

I climbed down a few branches, being careful to keep as close to the trunk as possible in case he looked up. Not that he needed to though, my clumsiness had been sweated out of me thanks to Gale's training.

I could now hear him moving. He was finishing off his beans which looked cold before settle back down in his sleeping back, his knife in hand.

I waited about fifteen minutes before moving down closer, my belt still firmly in my hands. If I listened carefully, I could hear his jagged breaths. It took near to an hour before his breathing became regular. He was asleep.

I jumped down from the last couple of branches, my legs hurt from being couched for so long, but I wouldn't need them. As I looked carefully I saw it was the boy from three. I barely knew him. Hopefully this wouldn't be so bad. Well, as killing people went.

I took the two ends of my belt in my hands and looked up to the sky.

_Lord forgive me_, I asked before kicking the knife from his hand.

He shot up immediately looking confused and his two second delay was exactly what I needed. I put the belt around his neck and pulled tightly, the boy coming with me.

His arms failed uselessly behind him but I kicked him in the back. Under the faint moonlight I could see him turning purple, his movements becoming weaker. I swallowed the lump in my throat and ignore the tears in my eyes; I had to do this.

Eventually the boy stopped moving but I continued to hold on to the belt. I had to make sure, but I didn't think I could move even if I wanted to. The shock of my actions had frozen me to the floor.

The boom of the cannon awoke me from my dream like state. He was dead. I had killed him.

"A cannon!" I heard Rainbow call in the distance. Shit, the careers. I took the boys knife and his supplies and shoved them into my hands, their footsteps getting louder. But I had no time to run, they would hear me.

I hoisted myself back up the tree, reaching the shadows just as they came into view.

It was obvious, just by the way they moved that Nik, from one was their leader. He led the way into the clearing followed my Ethos. The girls and the district two boy hung at the back, trying to look important.

They stopped immediately as their eyes fell on the boys lifeless body.

"Is he dead?" Rainbow asked.  
>"Of course he is," Ethos said, jabbing him with his foot. "But who did it?"<p>

They all pondered as they looked through his things, but I had taken everything of value.

"They were smart whoever it was," Nik concluded. "They didn't have a weapon," he said pointing to the marks on his neck.  
>"They could now though," Two said.<p>

"Whose left?" Nik asked turning to Hydra.

"Theres the girls from five, eight and nine. Then both from six and twelve," she practically sneered as she said our district.

"There's three people traveling in a pack, do you think it was them?" Rainbow asked. Three in a pack? That didn't sound good.  
>Nik shook his head. "No, they would have had weapons."<p>

"It was Abernathy," Hydra sneered. I held my breath.

"Oh not this again. Just because you're jealous she slept with Odair," Ethos said. I bit my tongue. It took everything in me not to jump down and protest.  
>"She could have a point," Nik said. "Abernathy did get a ten and she ran away from the Cornucopia with nothing."<p>

Damn. I always thought these guys were idiots but they were actually quite clever. Dangerously clever.

"She can't have gotten far," Nik continued. "We'll set up a temp base here and take it in turns of hunting for her. Dim get rid of the body, Hydra and Ethos check the area. Make as much noise as possible, we'll set up camp."

They all left to do their jobs as I quietly sat down. Great. Now they were all hunting to kill me and I was stuck up a tree. Directly above their camp.

* * *

><p><strong>For some reason this was really easy to write, but I hated it. I wanted more character interaction but that can't happen just yet...<strong>  
><strong>I'm counting down the chapters though until the end of the games. I think I want them to be over more than Emery. Though I am really looking forward to writing the chapter 1617.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed especially AllyAlly96426 who reviewed quite a chunk. Also thanks to La-Lucy, KeepingTheSecret, xsummermuchx, Crazy-ForeverxXx, CSIGetteBlue, lolamellark123 and PumpkinPie.**

**Thanks for reading, let me know what you think : )**


	17. The Alliance

C H A P T E R S I X T E E N

* * *

><p>Me, me, me against them; Me against enemies, me against friends...<br>Somehow they both seem to become one, A sea full of sharks, and they all smell blood...  
>They start coming and I start rising;<br>Must be surprising, I'm just surmising...  
>I win, thrive, soar, higher,<br>Higher, higher, more fire!

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive,  
>I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise...<br>- Fly, Nicki Minaj

* * *

><p>I barely slept that night, I couldn't. I just waited, not even bothering to unpack my things. But there was no chance of escape, one of them was always on guard, weapon in hand. Only when the sun started to break did Nik, who had taken the last shift, began to drift off. Now was my only chance.<p>

I slowly began to lower myself, being careful not to make any noise. The night up the tree was probably my worst ever. I desperately needed the toilet and I had ran out of water a long time ago. As soon as I was well away from the careers, I would go back to the lake.

My mouth was so dry and began to get more raspy as I climbed down, the smoke from their dying fire tickling my throat. Oh no. I tried my best to swallow, but I had no saliva. I put my hand to my mouth as I let out a small cough. Nik shot up immediately. As did Rainbow and District Two.

"What was that?" he asked, pretending he had been awake the entire time.

"A cough?" Rainbow said. She had pretending to be asleep the whole time. It was a good thing I didn't climb down then.  
>"Sorry, could have been me," Two said. "My throats dry." He walked over to a large canteen and took a gulp. I counted my lucky stars.<p>

The three of them didn't seem to keen on going back to sleep so stayed up, bitching about their sleeping allies from District Four.  
>My opportunity was gone, I just had to wait for another one.<p>

After about half an hour, Hydra and Ethos woke up, looking quite peeved that the others were already awake.  
>"I quite like it here," Ethos said.<p>

"Me too. Its near to water, and I bet most those losers are hiding somewhere in here. We can make it our base for today."

After that one piece of luck I had earlier, the rest of it was gone. There was no way I could stay up this tree for another day. I could die up here without water. I just had to take the plunge.

A parachute fell down for them filled with sausages and bread; they all roared.  
>I wondered why Haymitch didn't send me anything, I probably had enough sponsors. But sending a parachute down would alert them of my location. I was on my own for now.<p>

They put down their weapons and greedily scoffed the food. My stomach let out a small rumble; I had to get down.  
>I shimmied around the back of the tree and climbed down, the branches stopping about five feet from the floor. I made such my backpack was secure and my knife tight in hand. I took a deep breath and jumped, running away as fast as I could.<p>

There was a second of shock behind me before the screams started.  
>"Abernathy! She was up the tree!" Hydra shrieked. I didn't turn around but continued running. I could hear their thundering footsteps behind me.<p>

On a normal day I was faster than them, I easily outran Hydra yesterday. But I was hungry, thirsty, and my joints were sore from being crushed in a tree for twelve hours. They were slowly, but surely gaining on me. Then the weapons came out.

I heard the whoosh of an arrow before I saw it, I managed to move my head in time, the blade scraping past my ear.  
>They shot again. I tried to swerve but it narrowly scraped my leg. Pain slashed across my thigh causing me to stop. But they were getting closer. I limped along and checked out my leg. It wasn't too deep to be fair, but it hurt like mad.<p>

"Look she's like a dying gazelle," Ethos laughed, his voice panicingly close.  
>Ignoring the pain I continued to run but it was too late.<p>

A hand gripped my shoulder and pulled me around. I came face to face with Ethos, his menacing eyes boring into mine. He drew back his fist and punched me hard in the jaw. I fell to the ground, blood pouring from my mouth.

Through my blurred vision I could see the others catching up, but Ethos was too eager.  
>"Spying on us Twelve?" he sneered, aiming a kick at my side. I rolled over though, he nearly loosing his footing in the process. He moved for his sword but he was still not stable on his feet. I knocked his feet out from under him and scrambled back up. The others had reached us now but I still tried to run. There was no way I could fight five against one.<p>

I felt someone behind me and this time I wasn't waiting to be attacked. I swung my knife behind me, slicing across someone's stomach. It was two. He fell to the ground just as Hydra jumped on me, throwing us both back to the ground. My knife fell from my hands.

I grabbed her hair and pulled her off me. She let out a loud wail as I reached for my knife, but Rainbow had now joined the fight. She shot another arrow at me, this time it hit my left arm.

I felt the initial pierce of the weapon but little pain afterwards. The adrenaline was keeping me going, but for how long? I couldn't pull it out yet. I had to get out of here.

I flipped up, causing the two of them to stop an stare at me in shock. Good. I had stunned them. This was where I would show them I was worth of a ten; I didn't receive it just because I was "sleeping with Odair."

I kicked Hydra in the face with my good leg and swung the bow out of Rainbows hands. She was useless without it. She stared at me in shock, her large blue eyes widening. She thought I was going to kill her.

I couldn't though. She was weaponless. _As was the boy yesterday_, the voice at the back of my head sang. I ignored it and punched her in the face before gathering up mine and Hydra's knives and running away.

I didn't go to the reservoir. It was too risky. I went back to the lake and filled up my kettle and canteen before going into the city, the arrow still lodged in my arm.  
>I hid behind a dumpster in the first alleyway I found. I took hungry gulps of the water, not even bothering to purify it.<p>

I looked at my wounds, wishing that there was a first aid kit in my oversized bag. I had a cut leg, an arrow in my arm, and various scrapes on my face from where I had been punched and thrown.

I thought I was a gonner before, how on earth had I made it out alive against five careers. It was luck, I was the luckiest person in the world. Someone up there must be watching over me.

As I thought about my escape, something hit me. I was not fighting against five careers, but four. Nik was no where in sight. Ethos caught up to me first, then two, then the girls. Nik hadn't even bothered to chase me.  
>This discovery made me quite unnerved. Why didn't he run? Was it because he couldn't fight, no he got a ten in training. Maybe he thought I wasn't worth killing, but I knew that was wrong too. I was probably looking too far into things, but I really needed to keep an eye on the tribute from one.<p>

A numbing pain shot throughout my left arm. I looked at the arrow in disgust, my entire sleeve was soaked red and was beginning to stick. I had to take it out.

I broke off the end of the arrow and carefully took off my bloody jumpsuit, leaving me in just a T-shirt and boyshorts. Thankfully though it was quite a warm day.

I stared at my arm, feeling quite sick at the mess of the wound. I closed my eyes and yanked out the arrow. I collapsed with the pain, tears streaming down my face. I began to taste blood as my teeth pierced my lip. There was no pain like this.

I needed help, but could I just ask Haymitch? Everyone already thought I had only gotten so far because I had a thing with Finnick. I needed to show that I could do something by myself without ending up in trouble. Beside, I may need something more important later, or Thor could. I still had no idea where he was.

There must be a hospital around here somewhere. It was a huge city, I bet there was several actually.

"Don't get me anything, I'm fine," I muttered up to the sky. It sounded a little harsh, but I needed to be self reliant for once in my life.  
>I cut the clean cuff off my jumpsuit and wrapped it around my arm.<p>

I shoved the rest into my bag and went in search of a hospital. It was in tatters and covered in my blood and chunks of skin but I may need it. And you never know, I could find some detergent on my travels.

I only had to walk about five blocks before there was a sign for 'Lennox Hill Hospital." My leg and arm still hurt, but that didn't stop me running to the old crumbling building. It's windows were shattered and the entrance was in crumbles but I would be in and out.

The lobby was cool, a nice change from the blaring sun that had been beating down on my half naked body. But it was eery. Everything was left as though the staff had popped out for a minute. Papers were left on the desk, a wheel chair waiting for a patient... I let out a small shudder before going in search for a supply closet.

I didn't have to look long, there was one on the first floor but alas it was locked. Only a very strong person would be able to knock the door down, or someone who could pick locks. Rhys had taught me how to when I was little; our sister used to think it was funny to lock me in the closet.

I took a bobby pin out my hair and pulled off the plastic coating with my teeth. It took a few attempts, jiggling the knob about, but the door finally opened with a small click.

The room full of bandages and medicine was pure heaven. I took several bandages, anti septic wipes and a box of stitches before going to the empty patient room opposite. I knew that my arm wound would never heal naturally like my leg would, it was too deep. I would rather have to attempt to stitch up myself or face infection.

The anti septic wipes stung and I wiped them over my arms and face. My leg wasn't too bad and just a small bandage around it was fine. My arm was a different story.

I had sewed clothes before, so how different could an arm be, right? There was a flannel on the side so I rolled it up and shoved it in my mouth to stop myself from screaming. It hurt, more than the arrow did, but I didn't do too bad of a job.  
>Surprisingly enough, the sink worked fine. I washed my jumpsuit and hung it up to dry.<p>

My eyes began to droop as the time wore on. Despite it being just a little after noon, I was tired. I had suffered quite the ordeal this morning and had barely slept the night before. Perhaps it was time for a little nap.

But before I could settle down, a canon sounded in the distance. I shot up immediately. Who could it be, Thor? One of the careers. I had slashed the boy from two pretty hard, maybe he had died. I hoped not. I couldn't have two people lives on my hands.  
>I laid back down and tried not to think about it, but a small beeping disturbed me again.<p>

I angrily sat up but found a parachute floating toward me. I know I said I didn't want help, but this was still an exciting moment. It showed I had sponsors. Besides, I was hungry and didn't particularly want to go out looking for food in my condition.

_Please be food_, I begged as I opened the parcel. I could practically hear his congratulatory drawl.  
><em>Good job sweetheart.<em>

I had obviously impressed someone with my fighting and sewing skills. Good. Now hopefully I would be taken seriously.

I unraveled the foil and found a chicken leg inside. I barely looked at it before ripping into it, my teeth gnashing like a cannibal; I hadn't eaten properly since I got here. The juices dripped down my faces as I devoured the leg. I must have looked a sight to everyone watching on TV, but I didn't care.  
>The leg didn't fill me, but it was nice to get something warm in my stomach.<p>

"Thanks Haymitch," I mumbled before settling back down.  
>It was impossible to relax; all I kept thinking of was the past day. How I had become a murderer, maybe even twice.<p>

I thought of the boy I had killed, his friends and family must have been devastated. He hadn't even done anything wrong, it was a completely unprovoked attack.

But had any of us done anything wrong? We were just kids who had been unlucky enough to be picked from a bowl. The careers would have killed him anyway.  
>My reassurances didn't work. I turned to face the wall and cried myself to sleep.<p>

**:-:**

I woke up at the sound of the anthem. The sky was now dark; I had slept for about seven hours. That wasn't bad. But now I was wide awake, being here had made me nocturnal.

I sat by the window and looked up to the sky. I chill ran throughout my spine as the boy from Two's face appeared, had I killed him?

I knew for a definate I had killed the next one; the boy from three. He really wasn't very old, probably just a year or two younger than me.

"I'm sorry," I murmured up to the sky. I expected for the sky to go black but was surprised when the girl from eight appeared. I must had slept through her cannon.

I looked up again feeling aprehensive about Thor, but the sky went black. I smiled smally to myself. At least one good thing had happened.  
>Thanks to my nap, I was wide awake. I thought it best to change my location, maybe investigate the arena. Everyone else would probably be asleep soon. I could even go into the woods and set up snares if I was feeling brave enough.<p>

I checked out my injuries an found they had all stopped bleeding. Without the blinding pain I could see my stitches clearly. I had done a shoddy job; it was certain I'd have a jagged scar later.

My jumpsuits had dried in the sun. The arms were different lengths thanks to my make shift bandage and there was still a little blood on it, but it was black so barely showed up.

I looked in the mirror by the sink and saw what a wreck I was. I thought I was holding up pretty well but my eyes were frantic, my face covered in scars and my hair greasy.  
>I filled up the sink and washed myself down before washing my hair with the bar soap I found. It wasn't good for my hair, but it was better than using detergent. I had changed a lot during my short time here but at least my obsessive need to stay presentable was still around. The Capitol liked pretty people.<p>

I walked aimlessly around the arena that night, for the first time feeling pretty safe. Everyone was in slumber (I hoped) and I was free to due as I please.  
>My legs involuntarily took me back to the cornucopia. It was strange being back at the place where it had all started. Though it was spooky. So many had died here. Blood was sneered on the walls of the entrance; it was sickening.<p>

I dug through the destroyed crates and found a box of granola bars. They would be great for giving energy. Although the chicken leg was great at the time, I was beginning to get hungry again.

I needed a proper meal, not just biscuits here and there. What I would give to shout up to the heavens for a stack of pancakes.  
>"I have to set up snares and find food for myself," I said under my breath before cursing myself. Now I looked crazy talking to myself.<br>But maybe it would help, I was going crazy _not_ talking to anyone. Normally I didn't shut up.

As I walked back to the forest, I sang quietly whatever came to my head. Nicki Minaj, The Black Keys, even some old songs from twelve but they were all a little morbid.

I tried to imagine New York as the beautiful city it was portrayed as in stories. People would have lived in these tall buildings that would have lit up at night. They would have played in the park, not fought. It actually wasn't very different from the Capitol. The only difference being that the American citizens would have been free.

I set up several snares on the outskirts of the park, not feeling brave enough to go all the way in. They were all hooked up in record timing. Gale would be proud.

I set up from the night in a building with a broken glass Apple on the front. It wasn't too far from my snares, which I checked out the following morning. Well, I say morning, it was closer to noon when I arose.

My stomach was rumbling and I was looking forward to some squirrel or at least a bird. But when I got to the snares they were all still in the same place. No one had stolen my food, there was nothing to be stolen.

I leant up against a tree and listened intently. Nothing. No birds chirping, no animals rustling on the floor, no fish swimming in the pond near by.  
>Had all the animals died during the bombing. The wonder that the arena may have been a replica was gone. Everything made sense from the lack of life, the broken buildings, the long ride here and our skin protecting jumpsuits. If we spent too long out of them we could get radiation poisening.<br>But someone could survive here. If it wasn't for the murders and lack of food, we were all living fine.

The gamemakers could have easily thrown a few animals in here for us but they didn't, they wanted us to suffer.  
>I shoved my rope back into my bag and continued walking. Tonight I would beg Haymitch for more food, but I would have to last out as long as I could.<p>

I continued along the edge of the park, passing the reservoir and going deeper than yesterday. I kept walking and walking until I had passed the park completely and ended up in a place sign posted 'Harlem'. I had no idea what I would find here but it was worth having a look.

After walking for another forty minutes I came to a river. I thought it could have been the one I saw at the start of the games but it was on the opposite side.  
>So New York was an island. I got to the waters edge and looked into the distance. The beginning and end of bridges stood along the bank but there was no middle joining them, they had been forced down, all of them.<p>

I was curious to what was on the other side of the river. Food, weaponry? The water was calm, I could easily swim across.  
>I took a step forward to get closer to the water but as soon as my foot stepped over the edge, I was thrown back. I flew through the air until I hit the hard concrete road, my bag thankfully acting as a cushion.<p>

What had happened? Was it a type of force field or something. I picked up a rock and threw it into the river. But to my surprise it came back a few seconds later, smoking slightly. I grinned and threw it back in, this time catching it as it came back at me. This was actually quite fun.

I went to throw it back in but a parachute came floating down to me. I smiled up at it, feeling in a good mood after my little game. Hopefully it would be another chicken leg but it wasn't it was a single leaf.

"A leaf?" I asked. Maybe it was edible and I could fry it in the force field. I threw it in and it came bouncing back like the rest. It was bland but edible.  
>I had hardly swallowed before another parcel came down. What was going on?<p>

I ripped it open in haste and found two leaves in there. "Leaves?" I said aloud. "Leaves, leaves, a leaf?" I mumbled. "Leave!"  
>Haymitch was warning me about something, maybe the careers were near. I needn't be told twice.<p>

I gripped my knife and jogged back to the forest, this time going a little deeper in for cover.

Maybe I could climb a tree and go for my routine nap. It was getting late anyway; the sky had turned an orangey pink. In a few hours the anthem would play, but to my knowledge there had been no deaths today. Yet.

I walked toward the west side of the reservoir but as I got nearer, I heard voices.

I threw myself behind a tree and listened carefully. I couldn't make out what they were saying but I could tell it wasn't the careers. They spoke in soft hushed tones, the careers were loud. There was also more than one person. Maybe this was the group of three the careers were talking about

I peaked around the tree but couldn't see anyone. I ran to the nearest tree and then behind a bush. I could see them now.  
>There was two boys and a girl, all sitting in a circle eating, their weapons at close hand. One of the boys and the girl was the team from six but I couldn't see the other boy, only the corner of his short dark hair.<p>

But then in clicked. There was only one boy left in the competition: Thor. He was alive and well. He had actually done pretty well for himself. I bet gaining an alliance with district partners was hard.

But then I was hit with a twang of jealously. I was the one who had tried to be sweet charming but everyone hated me in this arena. Thor didn't even care about living yet he was part of a group that even the careers were afraid of.

I don't know what it was about Thor but I always seemed to be jealous of him. I don't know why, I had everything but he always seemed to get under my skin without doing nothing wrong.

And the worst part was that I actually liked him. He was an ok guy and I would hate for anything bad to happen to him.  
>Maybe I should have teamed up with him to begin with. As much as I tried to prove I was independent, I really wasn't. There were so few of us left and most tributes were part of an alliance. I needed Thor but there was nothing I could do about it. He seemed happy as he sat there talking with his new friends.<p>

What would I do? Just emerge from the bush like "Hi I was spying on you. Mind if I kidnap Thor to be my ally?"  
>No, I had made my bed and I had to lie in it. No matter how uncomfortable or lonely it was.<p>

I stayed in the bush though, just watching them. It was relaxing to see some normal human interaction.

"We haven't had a victor in a long while," the boy was saying.  
>"Nor us. Haymitch is the only one I can remember," Thor said. The two of them sniggered. "Hey he's not that bad. He's actually alright when he's sober," Thor defended. I let myself smile a little. It was nice that he had stuck up Haymitch, not many people did. That was a job usually left to me, which I did feebly.<p>

"No one ever comes close to winning though. Our district industries transportation, it doesn't come in handy," the girl continued. "The only person who had any skill was Titus last year."

I froze. Titus was the tribute who went mad and resulted to cannibalism. He was the one who killed Oakham.  
>"I wish he would have won. Then we probably would have a better chance. He wasn't that bad," the boy said.<br>Wasn't that bad? He killed people then ate them! I did not want Thor hanging around psycho worshipers.

"Our industries coal. No one can get inside the mines 'till eighteen so we're already at a disadvantage. Again," Thor said, draining the dregs out of his bottle. "I'm going to fill this up. Do you want me to do yours?"

They declined. Thor took his knife and bag and left in the direction of the lake. I made to follow him but the pair from six started talking.  
>"When can we get rid of him, his martyr-ness is getting on my nerves," the girl huffed.<p>

"Soon. You know the plan. As soon as the careers strike we ditch him."  
>Oh no, they were going to kill Thor. No one hurts my district partner on my watch. I needed to warn him before anything bad happens. If I didn't win than it would have to be Thor so he could bring much needed wealth upon our district.<p>

I crawled out from under the bush and sprinted in the direction of the lake, but he was no where in sight. He couldn't have gotten too far.  
>"Thor?" I whispered. "Tho-"<p>

A pair of arms came from behind me and pulled me up against a tree, clamping a hand around my mouth. I turned around to punch them but came face to face with Thor, his eyes frantic. He nodded over to the distance where Hydra and Nik were patrolling.

He pulled me back around the tree so we were out of sight and waited a few minutes before they were gone.  
>He slowly removed his hand from my mouth but kept the other one around my waist before spinning me around into a hug. I put my arms around his middle and squeezed him tightly.<p>

"Em, you're ok," he whispered. "Carla heard that you had been shot with an arrow."  
>"I have," I said, pulling up my sleeve to reveal the scarred mess.<p>

"Oh my gosh, who would do something as awful as this stitching. Those careers are awful," he said. I gave my first genuine smile in days, my cheeks hurting from the forgien movement.

"Believe it or not I'm not here to show my battle scars. I just heard your friends, and they want to kill you!"  
>He shrugged. "I know."<p>

"You know?" I asked flabbergasted. Why was he still with them?

"Believe it or not, I'm not as stupid as you think," he retorted. "I was just going to stick with them for a few days until the time to leave came. Safety in numbers you know."

I let out a sigh of relief. I needed to give to guy more credit. "I don't want you go back to them though," I told him.

"Why, you want us to team up?" he joked. I nodded. "Really?"

"Why not. If I don't win, I want you too. And it will probably be easier on Haymitch if we're together. And who knows we may get a sponcor funded meal out of it." I left out the two most important points though. One; that I was lonely. And two that I enjoyed his company. I'd never say that to his face though.

His wise face crinkled and he pondered my offer. I kept an eye over his shoulder, getting quite apprehensive over his evil friends.  
>"So what do you say, Allies?" I held out my hand. He took it immediately.<p>

"Allies," he said, shaking it firmly. "Now let's out of here."

He kept hold of my hand and dragged me towards the city. I felt a lot more comfortable with someone by my side. Thor had dropped his previous alliance just because I needed him. That could potentially be dangerous for him, but he still helped me.

It was official. Thor Reynolds was the nicest guy I ever met. But only one of us could win. And despite us being allies for the moment, we would always be against each other. It was just the way it had to be.

* * *

><p><strong>Thor has finally returned, thankfully. This chapter was difficult to write but now she has a friend. Next chapters going to be a lot more light hearted before the horrors begin.<strong>

**thanks for all the reviews: _Kerry, AllyAlly964, xxWillsxx, lolamellark123, i dont have a name, La-Lucy, KeepingTheSecret _(There going to be Gales point of view later on... its going to be a while but it will be worth it I promise :) _265, Supernovasernity, Crazy-ForeverxXx, _and _Selin._**

**Thank you so much for reading and supporting this story. Let me know what you think : )**


	18. The Theatre

Well I take your hand inside my hand, And hold it tight tonight  
>We made mistakes and we've known troubles, But we'll leave them all behind<br>And bless our friends who stand by us, And will share this joy with us first  
>Let them stay rich in their kindness, Because we know what it is worth<p>

_- I Take Your Hand, Mumford and Sons_

* * *

><p>On the first day, Thor went snooping in the buildings around the cornucopia. He found one to be a theatre. It took a little budge to get passed the door but once we were in, the place was secure.<p>

"Wow," I said, admiring the grand lobby with its marble stairs and gold coated reception.

"This is nothing," Thor said with a smile. He led me down one of the stairways until we got to a set of double doors. "Now brace yourself."

He opened the doors into the theatre. A real theatre with a huge stage. The seats were worn but still looked comfy. But the best part was the ceiling, or should I say lack of.

The theatre was open to the sky, the setting sun illuminating the room with a warm orange glow.

"This is incredible," I grinned, running up to the stage. "Why did you even leave this place?"

"I only peaked inside," Thor said, walking up the steps behind me. "Then I went out looking for food where I ran into Carla and Novae."

I grimaced. I really didn't like those two. They seemed like the type to steamroll over their own mother if she got in the way.

"How did you even end up with them anyway?" I asked, sitting down on the floor and taking my heavy backpack off.

"They were fighting the girl from two, and I helped them fight her," he replied quietly. He seemed quite troubled.

"Did you..."

"No, Novae did." He looked down, his eyes not meeting mine. "I did kill someone though, the boy from three."

I could feel my face hotting up. "What?"

"I cut him in the leg. He limped away but that night his face was in the sky." Poor Thor looked devastated. I had to tell him.

"You didn't kill him, I did," I said, feeling ashamed of myself. Thor snapped his head up but I couldn't meet his eyes. "It was the first night. I needed a knife so I strangled him in his sleep." It made sense now why he camped on the floor. He couldn't climb the tree. I had sneered at his stupidity but he had been helpless.

I stared into the dark audience. I had to tell him the rest; I needed it off my chest.

"Then I got caught up a tree, the careers on the floor. I jumped down but they chased me. I killed the boy from two." Tears began to stream down my cheeks. Thor scooted closer toward me and took my hand.

"It's not your fault," he whispered, putting his arm around me.

"But it is my fault," I snapped angrily. "They're dead because of me."

"And you would be dead if you didn't kill them," Thor said, his voice getting louder. "No one should have to die, but they do. It's just the way things are."

A silence fell between us. All that could be heard was my occasional sniffs. Thor put his arm around me and pulled me into him.

"I just feel so awful," I whispered into his chest. "I'm a murderer. No better than the careers. I'm an terrible person."

"You're one of the nicest people I know," he mumbled into my hair. He rested his chin on my head. "The only good thing about this experience is that I got to become friends with you."

I broke away and gave him a weak smile. "You have to say that."

His smile dropped. "Actually, I shouldn't say that." My eyebrows crinkled in confusion. "Only one makes it. What's the plan?"

"I thought you didn't want to win," I said with a small smile.

His grin returned. "So we're going to slide past the topic? Alright then."

I let out a laugh and then laughed harder. A second ago I was in bits and Thor had made me laugh in just a few seconds.

"You're a good guy you know," I said quietly.

"And you're a good girl." I went to protest but he put his hand up to stop me. "Someone who spends three days teaching their competition how to fight, sticking up for them and teaching them how to dress for the Capitol is not a bad person. Accept it and move on."

"Fine then, let's changed the topic. How many of us is left?" I asked.

He looked up and counted in his head. "Ten."

"Great, so District Twelve has a fifth of a chance of winning. High five!" I said, holding up my hand for him to hit. He rolled his eyes but complied.

"You've changed your tune," he commented, but not in a cruel way. He was merely stating a fact. I shrugged.

"I always find its best to bottle up your emotions until a point where you just let it all out. Then I begin the cycle again," I told him.

I looked up to the sky and saw it had gone completely dark during our chat. I took out my sleeping bag and lay down, keeping my eyes on the sky. It was so peaceful and relaxing. It was hard to picture the fighting and murders that could be going on outside.

A few minutes later the anthem sprung up, but no faces followed.

"No one gone today," Thor stated, looking slightly worried.

"Hopefully our alliance will keep them entertained. Though if nothing happens tomorrow, I'll be worried."

Thor sat up and looked down at me. I tried to ignore him but it was unnerving.

"What?" I asked, sitting up with him.

"There was something I wanted to ask you before, well confirm really."

"Shoot," I said, getting a little worried. What was going on.

Thor gave me a rue smile. "I can't really say, what you did was, well, frowned upon."

"What did I do?" to my memory I hadn't done anything bad. "Is this about Finn?"

He laughed. "No, no, lover boys not apart of this one." He paused and then sighed. "About six months ago, someone did something very generous for the district..."

Oh that. I looked at him with innocent eyes, trying to remain as impassive as possible. "I'm sorry I don't get what you mean."

He scoffed. "I knew it was you since I saw you on stage at the reaping. Your balaclava didn't do much."

I sighed in defeat and grinned. There was no point lying to him. "If you knew, why did you want to get it out of me?"

"So everyone else knew. You saved a lot of people's lives you know."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "That could be a slight exaggeration. I don't think that giving out cashmere jumpers and dolls saved people's lives."

It was Thor's turn to roll his eyes. "I thought we were done with putting yourself down. The people sold your gifts, then had enough for rent and food."

I felt a swell of pride flush through me. I had no idea that we had created such an impact, or that I had met Thor before the games.

"What house were you in? I can't remember."

He let out a chuckle. "We didn't get anything. My dad thought you had come to steal from us and chased you away with a shovel."

I let out a hearty laugh, remembering the haggard man who had quite the belly on him, considering he was poor.

"Your friend was half way down the street before you had even registered what was going on," Thor continued.

"I know! How chivalrous of him." I pulled a face and looked up at the sky, like Gale was somehow looking down on me. But it was ironic what I said. There was no one more courteous to women than Gale.

"So... Who was your friend?" Thor asked slyly.

"That's for me to know and you to, dot, dot, dot..." I trailed off with a grin. "Besides haven't you got enough out of me? Let's turn the tables on you and get to know the real Thor."

"Who are you Caesar Flickerman?" he asked. "And I was doing you a favour, now everyone in the district knows that you saved their necks."

I huffed and flopped back down onto my sleeping bag. "Can we take the subject matter off me please?"

"Sure, let's talk about your friend who helped you out," he grinned. I aimed a playful kick at his shin, but he grabbed my foot and tore of my boot.

I tried to squirm away. "Please Thor, don't!"

But he was already tickling my foot. I kicked and shouted between giggles, but he only tickled harder. "Leave... Me... Alone," I said between gasps.

I looked up into the sky and saw a parachute floating toward us. "Thor... Look... Up."

"I'm not falling for- oh a parachute." he stopped tickling me immediately and walked across the stage to retrieve it.

He brought it over and dumped the box in my lap. "You open it."

I shook my head and pushed it towards him. "Let's do it together."

Thor took out his knife and cut a hole in the top while I ripped it open.

Inside was already cooked, steaming beans and two bread rolls from twelve.

Thor gasped it shock, sniffing the beans hungrily. "Wow, this is brilliant."

"It's from home," I said quietly, my throat getting thick. I picked up the bread rolls and inspected them but found that they were not made with tesserae grain but flour.

The beans were already cooked two. Only two people knew I couldn't make beans to save my life. One of those people also knew my hatred for tesserae grain.

"Thanks Pete," I grinned, earning a confused look from Thor. "And the rest of our amazing district," I shouted up to the sky. There was little doubt that Peeta had organised the entire thing, but bread and beans this late in the games would have been expensive.

The people of twelve were poor but they still gave money for us.

I closed my eyes as I ate my dinner and imagined Peeta and Madge running around the district asking people for donations. Darius would have gone around the Hob while Gale sold game and have some of the proceeds to the pot. It was nice having people thinking about you, even if I had made it up completely in my head.

:-:

The night was very cold. The gamemakers really took advantage of the temperature control. The days were getting hotter, the nights colder.

I made Thor share my sleeping bag. I didn't care if it was a little inappropriate. It was cold and without the two of us sandwiched together, he would have frozen.

We woke up early the next morning and walked straight to the lake to stock up on water. Thor found some buckets in the theatre store cupboard so we filled those up too. After we were done we went straight back to base, not wanting to get into any trouble.

I was really hungry. My stomach churned with emptiness. I drank extra water to fill me up, but I knew that was just a short term help.

Hopefully, we would get an evening meal off Haymitch, so I just had to make it throughout the day.

"What's your family like?" I asked Thor. We talked all the time, but I found I knew little of his life back in Twelve.

"My dad got injured in a mining accident and doesn't work, doesn't want to, claims his unfit and my mothers a seamstress. I have a younger brother and two sisters," he told me, drawing patterns in the dust on the stage. I could see it was making him a little uncomfortable, talking about home, so I let it go.

I was going to ask him about his life in the mines but then something clicked. "Last week, you said it was your birthday next week!"

"And," he asked, sounding quite bored. I nudged him. I had worked hard bringing him out of his shell, he wasn't going to revert back to moody boy.

"Well we're on day five right? And then we had four days in the Capitol, two for travelling. So we left home eleven days ago," I totted up. Wow, eleven days. It seemed a life time.

"Quick math," Thor commented. He thought hard. "My birthday was yesterday, I think."

I grinned. "Let's have a birthday celebration today!"

"But it's not my birthday?"

"So, we could have a feast to tonight? Right Haymitch?" I shouted up the sky. "Did you hear, he said yes so-"

A cannon sounded in the distance. I stopped what I was saying and looked at Thor wide eyed.

"Who do you think it was?" Thor asked, sounding a little panicked.

I shrugged. "I don't know, probably one of the girls on their own."

He nodded and looked to the back of the theatre pensively. "Top nine, just one more."

"District Twelve will have a top eight for the first time in over a decade!" I said happily. The camera crews would go home and see how awful it was. Maybe they could get some help.

"So what about you?" Thor asked, taking a large gulp of water. "What's your family like."

"What me and Haymitch?"

"No you're other family. You've only known Haymitch was your dad for a few years." There was something in his eyes that told me he didn't believe that Haymitch was my dad, but I wasn't going to query that in front of thousands of people watching.

"My dad died in a mining accident, my brother Rhys was reaped in the 70th games. After his death my mother hung herself. I found her. With no money, my brother and sister and I wandered the street. They died, I didn't. Anything else?" I bet the Capitol were having a field day that my brother was a tribute, they would be rummaging through the old footage right now. But I didn't care, now I just felt numb about the entire thing. That was a different life, the girl who suffered those hardships was not me. I had new problems to deal with, there was not point dwelling in the past.

"Oh," Thor said, his ears tinging pink.

A short uncomfortable silence fell between us.

I leant back onto my sleeping bag, but a pain shot up through my ribs. I rolled onto my side and groaned, gripping my stomach. I had been suffering with pain all day, but nothing like this.

Thor jumped up and came to my side.

"Em, are you okay, what's the matter?" he asked worriedly, stroking my back.

"I don't know, I just have bad pains and I feel sick." My mouth began to fill with water. "Bucket," I mumbled.

Thor held it under my chin as I began to spit the water out, it just kept coming and coming. "I tried to fill my hunger with water," I said between spits. My stomach churned. Oh boy.

I let out a loud retch as more water came out. There was nothing left in my stomach but I continued to heave, my ribs hurting from the strain.

"It's fine," Thor said, holding back wisps of my hair. "You always feel better after your sick."

I nodded and wiped my mouth, feeling calmer, but tired. Thor noticed my woozy look and told me to take a nap. I didn't need telling twice.

By the time I woke up, the sun was in the lower half of the sky. I allowed myself to smile as I realised it was dinner time soon.

I slowly sat up, my mouth tasting stale. I chewed a mint leaf and then spat it out. Thor turned around at my disturbance.

"It's alive!" he said dramatically. I jokingly pumped my fist feeling in much better spirits.

"Anything happen while I was out?"

The corners of his lips turned up, but his eyes were clouded with trouble. "Welcome to the final eight."

I pursed my lips but allowed myself to smile properly. Being in the top eight was good, it was one step closer to the end. But this was where the tributes get power hungry and the Capitol eager for entertainment. Anything could happen in the next twenty four hours.

I excused myself and went to the bathroom. There was no plumbing in the building but since there was twenty toilets, flushing didn't matter.

After I was done, I checked my awful appearance out in the mirror. As the days went on, I grew more and more haggard looking. My hair was greasy, as was my skin which had now turned a dingy grey color. I would love it if Haymitch sent me some makeup. If I looked ugly and dirty, I felt bad. It was vain, I know, but that's just who I was. I didn't get dressed up and presentable for anyone but me. Other peoples opinions didn't bother me, only my own expectations mattered.

I ran a few drops out of the broken taps and splashed myself, feebly trying to remove the layer of grease from my face.

"Emery, come quick!" Thor shouted from the theatre. In one swift movement, I tore my knife from my belt and ran out of the bathroom. When I got to the stage, Thor sat there with a parachute in hand, a huge grin on his face.

"Don't do that!" I scolded. "I was so worried, do you realise-" I caught sight of the box in his hand. "Is that pizza?"

He nodded. "And soda!"

The anger inside me was overtaken by pure joy. I ran up the steps and threw myself down next to Thor and the cheese pizza.

Our stomachs had obviously shrunk since we had been here and there was a high possibility that we would be sick if we ate too much. But both of us were so hungry, logic went out the window. It was only a small pizza anyway.

We had half each and devoured the thing within five minutes.

"Whoever brought us that, thank you!" I cried up to the heavens.

Thor dramatically lifted up his soda bottle and toasted to the sky. "To sponsors, may you forever hoard your money and then give to food deprived tributes."

I saluted with my own soda and gulped it greedily, giving myself hiccups in the process. I was too happy to care though. As was Thor; I hadn't seen him in such high spirits. After our dinner settled he took my hand and waltzed me around the stage.

I then broke into one of our dances of twelve, he reluctantly joining in the energetic routine. The Capitol were probably getting a kick out of our goofy dancing, but as long as we got free pizzas, who care.

Our fun was interrupted by the sound of the anthem. We stopped dancing immediately and watched as the faces of the girls from five and nine appeared. I was a little disappointed that none of the careers had gone but there was nothing I could do about it. We were in the final eight, and that was a miracle in itself.

After the faces were shown, the sky didn't go black like it usually did. Caesar Flickerman appeared, his red hair looking more menacing than ever. I held my breath, this couldn't be good.

"Attention tributes," he called. "Congratulations. For the first time since the beginning of the games we have four teams of allies, all of which are district partners." So the careers had broken up into two small packs; good.

"As a celebrations of this, a feast will be held tomorrow at the cornucopia," Caesar continued. "Nine am. Sharp. Happy Hunger Games." He shot his freaky smile before fading in to the night.

I looked back down and turned to Thor, his eyes full with worry and confusion.

"What shall we do?" he asked.  
>"Are you hungry?"<p>

"No, of course not, we just had a pizza." he looked at me as though I had gone a little mad. I think I had, but that wasn't the point.

"Than we needn't go to the feast. It's just going to be another bloody bath anyway," I said sensibly but Thor wasn't convinced.

"You sure this is a good plan?"

"No, but it's the only rational one we've got."

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><p><strong>Kind of a nice ish chapter for a changebut be warned, next ones going to be bad. I'll try not to make it too depressing and graphic but its kind of needed for the story. I've probably blown it out of proportion but its best to be safe than sorry. Apologises this chapters a little short, but the next one will be long.<strong>

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed _Millie55, Kerry, lolamellark123, La-Lucy, 265, Supernovaserenity, Crazy-ForeverxXx _and _Kaitaru Seras Viktoria._**

**Thanks for reading, let me know what you think :)**


	19. The Feast

This is the end, Beautiful friend This is the end, My only friend,  
>Of our elaborate plans, the end Of everything that stands, the end<br>No safety or surprise, the end  
>I'll never look into your eyes...again<br>- The End, The Doors

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><p><strong>WARNING: Still T but slightly mature content<strong>

I barely slept that night. Thankfully I had a long nap earlier in the day, but Thor hadn't. His heavy irregular breathing told me that he was still awake. He fell asleep not long before I did but by that time the sky had begun to get lighter.

When I woke up about two hours later, Thor was already awake, packing up our things that had ended up scattered around the room.  
>"We need to be ready incase we need to escape."<p>

I nodded in agreement. We decided to stay put in the Theatre until after the bloodbath. The other tributes would probably outside now. It would be stupid to go wandering out now. We needed water too, but that could wait.

The two of us sat in silence as the morning went on, thinking about the bloodbath that was going on right outside our door. It was past nine o'clock now, I could tell by the heat, but something wasn't right.

I closed my eyes and listened carefully. Nothing. I snapped my head to face Thor and nodded, not to the door, but to the sky.

"No canons," I mouthed. His eyes widened as he pondered my words. He stood up immediately and crept toward the entrance. I followed into step beside him but he pushed me back, wanting to go first. I let him. He was the guy, he wanted to be tough. I wasn't going to get into an argument with him at this critical time.

He poked his head around the door into the lobby and edged forward, staying carefully away from the beams of light that came from the cracks in the panelling. I followed dutifully, one knife in my hand, the other still securely in my belt.

As we neared the front door, he dropped to the ground, pulling me lightly down with him.

"Wait here," he mouthed, before crawling closer. I inwardly scoffed. Me, wait? Did he not know me at all.  
>I slithered up to one of the cracks and put my eye to it.<p>

The cornucopia stood as proud and clear as always, the only difference being a spread of food on the table and a large digital clock that hung over the top.  
>9:27. Where was everybody?<p>

I kind of wanted to go out and check, but a career pack could be waiting in the wings, ready to attack.  
>Thor nudged me and motioned with his head back to the theatre. I crawled behind him, but then stood up as we got back inside, feeling less anxious than before.<p>

"No one showed up," he said quietly.  
>"No one claimed the food," I corrected. "Someone could be out there waiting to pounce. The foods the bate."<p>

He nodded thoughtfully, his grey eyes clouded with worry. "So what do you want to do?"  
>He always asked me what to do, it was always my choice. "Stay here," I said. Was I being sensible, cowardly? I didn't know. But I wasn't ready for another fight. Not yet.<p>

He moved over to the front row of seats and sat down. I slung down my backpack and sat down in the seat beside him.

"They won't be happy." He said looking up to the sky. It wasn't a question, but a daunting fact.

I remained silent, twirling a loose thread on my jumpsuit through my fingers. Normally, I would have cracked some joke and introduced a game to pass the time and raise morale. But I feared Thor was right, the gamemakers would not be happy, we would be punished. So wasting energy dancing around the stage would be a bad move.

Not half an hour passed before the anthem played and Caesars face appeared in the sky again.  
>"Attention Tributes! A feast was held in your honour today however, nobody claimed the food." There was a pregnant pause. His expression turned angry, his hair seemed to turn redder.<p>

"Do you not trust us? Dare you look a gift of ours in the mouth. We are offended, you have done wrong. And your actions are to be punished.

The price of sponsors food has risen by 1000 per cent. There shall also be some _surprises_ throughout the day. Enjoy your time relaxing while you still can." His face faded into the bright blue sky.

I turned to Thor to find his olive skin unusually pale. The announcement had knocked him sick.  
>"I hate them I wish-"<p>

"Don't finish that sentence," I said, holding my hand up to stop him. "You'll only offend them and make things worse." But I agreed with him. They were sick. Firstly, they put no food in the arena, so we relied on sponsors. But now that cost twenty times more than normal.  
>Sponsor gifts got more expensive as the games went on. I doubted we'd even get a bread roll between us tonight. That is, if we even made it until tonight.<p>

"Do you want to go get water?" Thor asked. I nodded. I suddenly hated this theatre, I needed to get out.  
>I stood up and put my backpack back on but there was a quiet rumble in the distance.<p>

"What do you suppose that was?" I asked Thor. He didn't answer as the rumbling began to get louder and louder; the floor shaking.  
>He stood up and grabbed my arm, pulling me toward the exit. He had to shout over the noise so I could hear him. "We need to get out of here. It isn't- Get down!"<p>

He yanked me to the ground just as a large piece of the wall behind flew over our heads. Dust filled the air as the stage area began to fall down.

I turned around to assess the damage but froze. Two lions, both the size of a two story house, stood snarling, getting ready to launch themselves at us.

"Thor," I whispered, gathering two knives in my hand. "Run." I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the doorway. The lions followed, but we were smaller. We were through the doorways and out onto the street while they were still trying to knock the walls down.

We had the advantage now but once the mutts were out of the theatre, they could outrun us in seconds.  
>I was faster, so I took the lead and headed for the park. There was a thick sturdy tree by the lake, we could take refuge there until they got bored.<p>

My heart pounded hard and I began to lose my breath quickly thanks to the lack of energy and food. Thor was also a slow runner, so I had to pace myself so I didn't go too far ahead. I couldn't leave him behind.

As we ran, I wondered what the other tributes were faced with. This attack was no doubt part of the gamemakers punishment for not attending the feast. They wanted a bloodbath.

We were just two blocks away from the part when the lions roar echoed from behind us; they had escaped.

"Quickly, they're coming," I shouted, my voice raspy. I could hear their thundering footsteps behind us. My arms propelled me forward as I quickened my movements, survival mode kicking in. But I couldn't just think of myself, it wasn't just me I needed to protect.  
>I snuck a look over my left shoulder and saw one of the mutts coming dangerously close to Thor.<p>

I took a knife in my right hand and slowed down slightly, gaining balance, before throwing it at the lion. My aim was perfect. It sliced straight through its eye. It roared and curled up on the floor, uselessly hitting the wedged knife with its oversized paw.

I continued running, we were just across the street from the park. Thor followed me into the trees but a loud thud sounded from behind him.

We both skidded to a halt and turned around. The lion stood and the threshold of the grass, unable to enter, as though there was an invisible force field blocking it.

On a hunch, I picked up a stone from the floor and threw it out into the street. As expected, it bounced back at me.

"We're trapped." I stated. The gamemakers didn't want the mutts to kill us, where was the fun in that? They wanted all the tributes to be drawn together so they could get a real fight.

"This is ridiculous," I said turning around to face Thor, but he wasn't there.  
>Panic flooded through my body. He was right beside me, I saw him. He was there. But he had vanished into thin air. If someone would have got him, I would have heard them surely, at least a canon.<p>

"Thor?" I called out, trying to be as quiet as possible. I was met with silence. I spun around in desperation looking around behind the trees. "Thor!" I shouted, not caring about being caught. He could be in serious trouble, I had to help him.

"Attention Tributes," Caesars voice echoed around the arena. "We felt the arena was a little too big, so for the next two hours you shall be confined to the park." I sighed and lent up against the tree, assessing it carefully. If it wasn't for Thor I would just climb it and wait out the two hours. But he was my ally.

"The public have also decided that the eight of you have somewhat become dependant on their district partners. So you have been separated for the time being. See if you can be reunited, before it's too late..." He let out a menacing laugh before the quiet returned.

I was mad, angry. The people in the Capitol had actually voted for us to be separated. I bet they would have had a little ballot with options to choose from; should they be fed to the sharks? Have wild beasts chasing them? Death by poisonous gas? It was sickening. If it was possible, I hated them even more.

But I couldn't sit in a tree wallowing in pity. I had to find Thor. Two hours in this place was a long time. There would definitely be more than one death.

I stood up and made my way in the direction of the lake. It was hot and I hadn't had anything to drink all day. Water first, then find Thor.

Hopefully he would hide and not come looking for me. But unfortunately, I knew he wouldn't. He was out here now, hopelessly wandering like I was.

A twig snapped behind me. I spun around, brandishing my knife but no one was there. No one I could see anyway.  
>I picked up my pace and hurried toward the lake. The trees were beginning to thin out; I was near.<p>

Just as I reached the clearing, I heard leaves crunch under footsteps that wasn't my own. I was being followed.  
>"Who's there?" I called out, sounding a lot braver than I felt.<p>

"Only me," a dangerously familiar voice called from behind a tree. He stepped out. It was Nik.  
>My heart began to pound. I stuck my chin up, trying to look intimidating. But I was only five foot two and looked more like a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar.<p>

"Hello," I said, not meeting him in the eye. I looked around for my escape path but he noticed and let out a loud laugh.

"Not trying to run away from me Abernathy?" he asked, stepping closer towards me.

"You ran away before. Don't think I didn't notice you weren't there when your friends attacked me." I had a bad feeling about this. My stomach began to churn with the predatory look in his eye.

"Oh you notice me do you?" a small smirk played on his lips. This was bad. Really bad. I needed to get away.  
>I opened my mouth as if to speak but ran away through the trees. His thundering footsteps followed but I kept going.<br>But I was tired and weak. I rounded the corner to the lake but his large arms grabbed my shoulders, pinning me up against a tree, his face inches from mine.

I pushed against him, slicing his jumpsuit with my knife but he was too strong. With one strike my knife was gone from my hands, settled on the floor.

I tried to wriggle away but he was too strong. His breath tickled my face as he laughed.

"Get off me!" I screamed, not caring who heard. I would welcome an invasion, as long as I wasn't alone with him.  
>"Don't be scared now," he whispered. "This is going to be fun."<p>

My body tensed as I pushed harder but it was no use.  
>"What are you going to do?" my voice quavered, but I already knew the answer.<p>

"You're my real competition in here, little miss ten," he said, his face less than an inch away from mine. "It's only fitting that I'm the one who kills you but what I have planned didn't need an audience of those goons, that's why I let you go. And now I have you all to myself."

My breath hitched as he stroked the stray hairs out of my face. "Pretty little thing aren't you," he said, before crashing his lips onto mine, his tongue evading my mouth.

I bit down on his lip hard. He drew back, blood dripping from his mouth, and slapped me across the face. I was frozen in fear as he kissed me again, this time more forcefully and sloppily. He held my hands above my head and his tongue entered me again. But I couldn't move. It was as though I had no control over my body. Tears streamed down my face as he ripped open my jumpsuit, his hand squeezing my chest forcefully.

I let out a pained moan. He pulled back and grinned wickedly. "I knew you'd like that," he whispered before attaching his lips back to mine.

So this was how I was going to die. Objectified and attacked by this monster. I couldn't think of a worse way to go.  
>His hands trailed down my stomach until he reached the waistband of my boxer shorts. His fingers crept down, brushing against me.<p>

I let out a sob but found his crushing weight gone from on top of me. I opened my eyes and saw two blurred figures rolling around on the floor.  
>I should have helped my saviour but I couldn't move, I was still frozen to the tree.<p>

"You sick bastard," the guy on top of Nik shouted as he punched him hard across the face. Thor. He have found me.  
>I watched with wide eyes as the two of them rolled around on the floor. Thor took my discarded knife and slashed it across Nik's face. He let out a wail and scampered away. But Thor didn't follow. He threw the knife down and ran over to me.<p>

Emery, are you ok. I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner."  
>I couldn't look at him though, my eyes were still transfixed on the floor where they had just been fighting.<p>

"He-He..." I whispered.

"I know," he said, pulling me into a hug. I was finally free to move. I sobbed into his shoulder, my entire body shaking. My breathing was haggard as I began to hyperventilate.

"I want to go home," I cried, snuggling myself closer into him.

"You will," he whispered against my hair. "But we need to get moving. I'm sorry but two canons have already gone off. It's not safe."  
>Two canons. The monster had frightened me so much that I didn't hear two booming canons.<p>

He had made me scared and weak. _Pretty little thing_ he had called me. Just like President Snow did when I first met him.  
>Well I would show them who was a harmless girl. Nik would pay if it was the last thing I did.<p>

Despite still being shaken and scared out of my wits, we had to keep moving. Thor was right, we were in final six territory now. These people could smell blood.

We walked in silence to the lake and filled up our canteens. Another canon sounded. Five left.

"My dads a drunk," he mumbled to me. "He never cared for us."  
>He was saying his peace. There was a large probability that one of us would die soon. I almost did.<p>

"My friend who helped me with the deliveries was the one who sent me the note on our first day here," I admitted.  
>"I had an idea," he said, smiling slightly but then his expression turned to one of guilt. "Is he your boy?"<p>

"I don't have a boy," I said quietly.  
>"Do you want him to be?"<p>

I thought hard. "I did. But now, even of I do make it out of here, I don't think I can. I'm not the same girl I was two weeks ago."  
>A sad silence fell upon us. Gale wouldn't want me now anyway, especially after what had just happened. I was tainted.<br>I sat down pitifully on the waters edge and took a hungry gulp of water.

"I have an agreement with Haymitch to keep you safe," Thor said suddenly.  
>I choked on my water. "What?"<p>

He chuckled humorously. "He told me that if I kept you safe and helped you win, he would give my mother money to cope when I've gone." I was speechless. I couldn't believe Haymitch would do something like that.

"I didn't care about winning anyway," he continued. "I thought it best if you won because then you could help the district."  
>Ignoring my painful body I stood up, gripping his shoulders and turning him toward me. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare give up your life for me. You've done enough already. I can't even believe..." I trailed of, my voice becoming slightly hysterical with disgust.<p>

"Haymitch!" I called up to the sky. "I'm not talking to you!" It was childish, but I didn't have it in me to scream profanities.  
>Thor smiled again. "He did good. If it wasn't for the agreement, I would have just let myself die at the cornucopia."<p>

I couldn't take this. "Okay, forget that agreement. We have a new agreement for both of us. If one of us is in life threatening trouble and the other has a chance to live. Choose the latter."

"But-"  
>"No 'buts'," I scolded. "No matter what happens Haymitch will look after your family. Won't you Haymitch?"<br>I could almost hear my adoptive fathers eye roll and grunt as he nodded his head.

I spat into my palm and held it out for Thor to shake. He look at it disgustedly before doing the same and taking my small hand in his.

"So what now?" he asked. My choice again.

"We hide. There's three people out there who want us dead. We only have to wait about an hour and a half," I said sensibly.  
>He sighed and took more gulps of water. "I swear it's getting hotter by the second." He chucked his canteen lightly to one side and dunked his head straight into the water.<p>

I let out a small laugh. "The days were hot and the nights so cold," I sang, vaguely remembering a song from Finnick's music player.  
>Thor shook the water out of his hair and looked at me curiously. "Are you ok?" His expression was brotherly, concerned. Mine was aloof.<p>

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"Emery..." he sighed. "You just-"

"Don't," I said, interrupting him again. "I'm fine. Remember what I said yesterday, about bottling it up?"  
>It was best if I didn't think about it and erased my mind completely. I was embarrassed about what happened. I just wanted it to disappear, and ignoring the problem seemed the best option for the time being.<p>

Was my insides churning at the memory of that thing kissing me? Was I ashamed and humiliated, dying inside? Yes. But I couldn't let that show.

"Do you want to go back to the outskirts?" Thor asked. I was glad of the change of subject. "When the two hours are up we can just-"

A quiet whistling echoed through out the air before an arrow came to rest on a tree, six inches left of Thor's head.  
>I spun back to the clearing and saw Hydra and Ethos standing a few feet away, their expressions murderous, yet amused.<p>

"Well, well, well, what have we here. The dream team," Ethos mocked.

I scoffed. "Is that what you're referring to yourselves as now?" It was wrong to tease and get them wound up, but this could be the last fun I had. Besides, we needed to stall as long as possible so we could gain momentum to fight.

"How'd you even last this long?" Hydra asked, her once pretty face looking almost unrecognisable. Her face was covered in dirt and scars; and her eyes were frantically moving around, unable to keep fixed on something for longer than a second. Her hands fidgeted at her sides. She had gone mad.

"I got a ten in training," I said simply. "What did you get again?"

She let out a loud growl and sent another arrow spinning at me. I easily stood out the way and sent my knife at her.  
>Hydra ducked down behind Ethos. My knife hit him in the neck. A canon sounded just before he flopped to the floor.<br>Hydra's eyes widened in horror before she took off into the trees. I made to chase her and turned around to see if Thor was following. He wasn't.

He stood, leant up against a tree, Hydra's stray arrow lodged in his stomach.  
>My vision blurred, my breathing became raspy. "Thor?"<p>

He gasped loudly and flopped down on to the floor. I ran forward and caught him, laying him in my lap.  
>"It's okay," I repeated, trying to hold my tears at bay. I brushed the hair out of his face, watching him struggle with life. But there was nothing I could do to help him.<p>

"Go after Hydra," he breathed.  
>"I'm not leaving you," I mumbled, putting my hands against his wound in a feeble attempt to stem the bleeding.<p>

"You're going to be fine," I said more for my benefit than his.  
>"I'm dying," he said drily. Even in death he was still played the superior card.<p>

I took out the piece of my jumpsuit I cut off at the beginning of the games and put it around the arrow which was still lodge inside him. I couldn't take it out, it would hurt him more.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, reaching for the water. He slowly lifted up his hand but then dropped it in pain.  
>"Win," he breathed. "Live."<p>

Tears were now freely streaming down my face as his sharp breaths became less frequent.  
>"I will," I promised. Thor was my brother now. He reminded me so much of Rhys. Perhaps now was the time to say the things that I never got to say to him.<p>

"Thank you so much for being there for me," I sniffed. "I don't know where I'd be without you."

"I'm so glad... I met..." his breath hitched.

"Thor?" I cried, shaking his shoulders. But it was too late. A canon boomed and just like that, he was gone.

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><p><strong>Thanks for all the reviews<em> KeepingTheSecret, Kerry, Annie770, Loveable Leo, La-Lucy, xsummermuchx, Kai, lolamellark123, Buckley, AllyAlly123, TheGirlWhoWasOnFire21, Crazy-ForeverxXx <em>and _Supernovaserenity._**

**Next chapter will be the last in the arena so expect a homecoming soon. Sorry if some of the stuff in this chapter was a bit much, i did rewrite it a million times and cut a load out.**

**Thanks for reading, let me know what you think : )**


	20. The End

Shadows settle on the place that you left, Our minds are troubled by the emptiness. From the perfect end, to the finish line.  
>And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones, 'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone.<p>

Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silouhette,  
>A lifeless face that you'll soon forget,<br>My eyes are damp from the words you left, ringing in my head, when you broke my chest.

- Youth, Daughter

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><p>When the canon sounded I lost all sense of everything. A great weight dropped from me until I felt nothing. No sorrow, no pain, no mercy. Hydra would pay for this.<p>

I closed Thor's eyes and laid a gentle kiss on his head before taking his knife and going over to Ethos' lifeless body. I retrieved my knife and took his weapon belt off him which held six knives and a small sword.

With two knives in hand I took off in the direction Hydra went, not even bothering to conceal my footsteps. I wanted her to find me; I welcomed it.  
>I sprinted, my arms propelling myself forward. I was small and fast, I could catch her in no time.<p>

"Hydra!" I screamed, as a small figure came visible in the distance. She turned around and stared at me. Realising that I was outrunning her, she stopped and loaded her bow. But I was too quick.  
>I launched at her, knocking us both to the ground. Her bow toppled over but I still had my knives.<p>

I straddled her waist, my adrenaline fuelled strength holding her down easily. She raised up her hand and smacked me around the face but I shoved a knife through her hand, nailing her to the ground.

She let out a loud scream and began thrashing again. I took out one of the knives from the belt and put it through her other hand. The unbeatable serpent had been immobilised .

I didn't feel sorry for her. She had killed Thor, my friend. She was an evil monster. I wanted to make this as painful as possible for her. Condemnation; karma; punishment.

"You can't do this," she sobbed.  
>I glared at her. "I can do what I like," I spat, cutting lightly along her cheek.<p>

She cried and begged me to stop, looking directly in my eyes. I froze, seeing a monster staring back at me in the reflection of her dark pupils.

Who was I to torture this girl? She had killed Thor, but yet, I had killed her district partner. Hydra was a heartless bitch but did she really deserve this. Did anyone?  
>I had spent my life hating the careers for their ruthless, uncaring behaviour, but I was just as bad as them.<p>

I turned my head and sent the edge of the knife across her neck. The canon boomed. It should have been a painless death but my predatory side had taken over. I didn't care what Thor or anyone said; I was a monster.

I slowly clambered off Hydra's body, moving slowly in shock. My hands hesitated before removing the bloodied knives from her hands.

The things that happened next we a blur. I somehow found myself on the edge of the park, waiting for the two hours to be up.

If my calculations were correct, which they probably weren't due to all the shocking disruptions, there was only two of us left.

Who could it be though. It probably wasn't the two from six, so that just left Rainbow, Nik and myself. Nik... A shudder went down my spine.  
>I don't know what I would do if it was him. Would I be able to face him after what had happened.<p>

I could, I know I could. But there was a great proablity that I would go insane like I did with Hydra and do something stupid. I squirmed again at the memory. I needed to forget about it for now. What I did was disgusting, but I couldn't dwell on it. I needed to keep focus.

Part of me just wanted to shove the knife through my stomach and die right here under the safety of the tree. But every time suicidal thoughts floated through my head, Thor's voice followed them:

_"Win... Live."_

I had promised him I would. Killing myself was the cowards option. I had worked too hard to just give up now so close to the finish line. Haymitch would be distraught. As would Peeta, Madge, Gale, Darius and the other hundreds of people back home who were starving but living on the hope I would win and bring a years worth of riches on the district.

So I sat on the lower branch of a tree and when the two hours were up, I strolled away from park in search of shelter. I could have gone back to the theatre, but I couldn't have faced it.

I went back to the hospital, where I went on the second day. My bloodied gauze was still on the floor. It was still very hot, despite the night closing in, so I stripped down and washed my clothes then myself.

It felt good to have my hair clean. Tomorrow was going to be the last day, I could feel it. And win or die, I wanted to look presentable. I left my hair down and let it air dry before scooping it back up into its messy bun.

I assessed my appearance in my mirror and shrunk back. My cheeks were hollow, my eyes dark and puffy, framed by dark rings. I had two small cuts on my chin which I don't remember getting, and a large hand print shaped bruise across my cheek.

"I look terrible," I mumbled aloud. "Mascara and concealer wouldn't go amiss," I joked. However, to my surprise, a small parachute came floating down to me.

I snagged it from the window and tore open the box. Inside was a mascara/eyeliner and a small tube of concealer. I let out a strange, foreign laugh. "Thanks Haymitch!" I called. I guess with the food prices so high that he could afford to waste money. I didn't really need anything else, so I suppose makeup was my main priority.

I applied a small amount of mascara and already my appearance perked up. I saved the concealer for tomorrow, I had no real makeup remover. My plan to look nice would fail if I had zits on my face. Yes, I was vain, but obsessing over my looks was one way to keep my wandering mind busy.

Just as the sky began to darken, another parachute floated down to me. Inside was two tesserae grain rolls and powdered soup. I hated tesserae grain, but I was still thankful. This package wouldn't have come cheap.

I stepped outside and lit a fire, heating up some water I could spare. Earlier on in the games I would have been worried about being seen but now I couldn't care less. I was hungry and I needed something to help the chewy bread go down.

I added the powdered soup to the water and went back inside to eat. It wasn't awful, it just wasn't the pizza we had the night before.

I was caught off guard by this. Our feast seemed like a life time ago, so many things had happened in between. I looked at the empty spot next to me, suddenly feeling quite alone.

I ate the rest of my measly dinner in silence; it did not fill me up, but there was nothing I could do.

When the sky turned black, the anthem played followed by the faces of Rainbow, Ethos, Hydra, the tributes from six, then lastly Thor.  
>So then, it was just Nik and I. My stomach churned in anger and fear at the thought of him.<p>

He was a predator, I was surprised he hadn't come looking for me. But then I remembered.

Thor had slashed him nastily across the face, cutting into his eye. Could he be injured? Could I have the upper hand here? Was there a possibility that I could get out of here? I hoped so.

Tomorrow I would play him at his own game and go hunting. But first I had to sleep and rest. I would need every thing I could get.

**:-:**

I shot up the next morning with a searing thought. Food was expensive, but other sponsor gifts were not.

"I'm lonely, may I have a pet bird please," I said slyly. It was almost laughable how quickly the parachute came down. The gamemakers would probably be a little peeved and would raise the price of everything, but that didn't matter now. I didn't plan on staying in the arena for long.

The bird flew out the box but my aim was good. My knife hit its wing before it flopped to the floor. I gathered my things and cooked the bird on the fire that I had created last night.

It was good. I ate the crunchy thing as I walked, desperately trying to figure out where Nik could be hiding. I was banking on his injury being sever. That would be the only way I would be able to take him.

I walked around aimlessly for an hour getting more annoyed with each step I took. The arena was huge; he could be anywhere. For all I knew he could be lying in a basement on the other side of the city. If only there were some kind of sponsor gift that could track him down.

I walked around for another hour, singing quietly under my breath. The heat was stifling. The gamemakers did it on purpose, they wanted our experience here to be as painful as possible. They also wanted to please the crowd. For some unfathomable reason, the Capitol liked to see a sweaty fifteen year old suffer.

I walked to the lake and found the water supply had dwindled down. There was still water in there, but the bank was a good fifty feet away than it was yesterday.

I continued to sing and drink while my mind continue to lull in ways to catch out Nik.

"You wrote me a long list," I sang quietly. "So I sent you a beautiful gift."

It was an old song from twelve, sometimes sang on birthdays though not very often because the lyrics got a little tragic toward the end. I shook my head and tried to regain focus. _Think of ways to trick Nik_. But I couldn't concentrate. But then it hit me; the song.

"I sent you a beautiful gift," I sang softly, a small smile creeping onto my face.

I left my backpack by the lake and walked back into the town, taking just my weapons and knifes with me. Where I was going I needed little else. I found the empire state building with ease, it was the tallest building in the city so I should be able to see the entire arena from the top.

My plan was simple. I would ask Haymitch to send Nik a gift, watch where the parachute went, then hunt him down. It seemed good in my head, but if the mentors from one caught on, it would be a complete waste of time.

I didn't know how long it took to walk but it was long and tedious. I sang about twenty songs in my head before I reached the top. The only though that kept me going was that it would be easier to go down.

When I got to the top, I couldn't breath. I had practically ran up 90 flights of stairs. Once I had regained my composure, I went over to the edge and saw the entire arena. Of course, it went on for longer, way past the river, but the stupid force field prevented us from going far.

"Haymitch, could you please send Nik a present. Something cheep and pointless," I added, not wanting my sponsor money to go to waste. I hoped Haymitch knew what I was doing and complied; or at least trust me enough to send my opponent a present.

I held my breath. A long five seconds passed before a parachute fell down from the sky and floated toward the edge of the park, near the reservoir. I vaguely remembered seeing an old shed somewhere near there. I'd bet my weapons that was where he was hiding.

I sprinted back inside and down the steps, it took little time to go down. My side began to cramp up a little but I couldn't stop running. Nik's sponsors may somehow raise funds and send him a message. I had spent all day looking for him, I wasn't going to let him slip from my fingers.

Once I was outside I continued running to the park. I had no idea how I was going to fight him, I hadn't really thought about it. All day I had just been concerned about finding him. And now that I had, I was a little worried. But the feeling was overpowered by anger and revenge. I would make him pay for what he did to me.

I reached the shed in good time. I waited outside for ten minutes, trying to regain my breath. But just as I was about to go in, Nik hobbled outside.

I was frozen in shock at his appearance. The entire left side of his face was stained red with blood, the gash running from his chin to forehead had turned an infected purple. But it was his eye, or lack of, that made me stop. It had gone. I didn't know if it was swollen shut or somehow cut out, but I could tell his vision was poor. As was his leg as he limped outside.

I felt a swell of pride and sadness as he unwittingly came out of his hiding place. Thor did that to him.

I took a knife in both hands and charged at him. He seemed surprised to see me. I jumped on him easily.

We crashed to ground, me landing on top of him. I slashed the other half of his face, but he punched me in the gut at the same time, knocking me backwards.

"Well, look who got tough," he sneered. I kept quiet and lunged at him again, hitting him square in his swollen eye. He let out a cry of pain and grabbed my arm with the arrow wound. He pressed down on it hard, causing me to drop the knife in that hand.

I slunk down to the floor in agony but the knife was right by my hand. I picked it up and stabbed him in the leg. He stumbled backward but then crashed into a bush. A buzzing sound filled my ears. Had he hit me or something?

But then I saw the angry insects flying out of the bush. Tracker jackers. They had already swarmed around Nik and were making their way toward me.

Gales words rang out in my mind. _A tracker jacker sting can be poisonous. Try and get to water if you come across them_.

The water was close but they were fast. A painful prick hit my neck followed by one on my hand then my arm. The stings swelled immediately to an ugly purple colour. I tried to swat them away but it was useless.

Several clouded my vision and stung my eyes, almost blinding me.

I staggered to the reservoir but I couldn't see where I was going. Suddenly, the ground below me became water as I fell into the cool depths. I couldn't see, I couldn't breath, my body was frozen with tracker jacker venom. Everything went black.

Water filled my lungs as I fell into unconsciousness...

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><p><strong>I'm so sorry for the long wait and that it was so short, but I've had terrible writers block.<strong>

**I want to thank everyone for the reviews, there were loads; another reason I feel so bad. Thanks to _Mockingbird's Purity, SloneWesell, Kerry, La-Lucy, lolamellark123, RemaHutcherson, deeannamariee, Courtneyfan14, KeepingTheSecret, StayingAlive223, xsummermuchx, Kai, CrazyForeverxXx, Lovable Leo, Annie770, Supernovaserenity _and _SealedWithLove._**

**Thanks so much for reading, let me know what you think : )**


	21. The Victor

Little darling, we're all lonely, we don't all show our scars  
>My heart, my burden, I would never bring you down with me, And the rain fell on the towers and on the late swaying trees<p>

And it hammered and it raged on us unwillingly, And the believers were forewarned, and they ran into the storm  
>And watched the earth's light flicker and fail, They put money in their hearts and God where their mouth is<br>- Flicker and Fail, Laura Marling

* * *

><p>A slow steady beeping came from my left. Although my throat felt raspy, the rest of my body was surprisingly in no pain. My ankle, which always seemed to tingle, felt fine.<p>

I slowly sat up and opened my eyes. The white light flooded my vision, blinding me, before my eyes came to focus.  
>I was lying in a bed in a plain white room machines all around me. Where was I? How did I even get to this place?<p>

Then it hit me. The games. I was running, from tracker jackers I think; everything was a little hazy.

But had I survived? Was this some weird heaven or afterlife. I couldn't have won, could I? I looked around the room for answers.  
>There was a poster on the wall. I squinted and tried to read it, but it was blurred. That was odd, my vision was near perfect.<p>

"Ah, you're awake!" a voice said from the door. I turned and saw a very tanned man with shiny skin approaching, his wrinkle-less face making him look younger than he probably was. He wore a long white coat and had a computer tablet in his hand. He was a Capitol doctor, I had seen them before.

"Well Miss Abernathy you've had quite the ordeal. But first, a congratulations is in order."

I froze. I won. I actually won the hunger games, against all odds. At first I was met with joy but then fear clouded throughout me.  
>Winning was never good. I had once heard Joanna Mason say that it was a fate worse than death. Many victors turned to morphling, Finnick was Snow's puppet and Haymitch couldn't go a few hours without alcohol.<br>Haymitch... Where was my guardian. I hoped he had done nothing stupid in my absence. I voiced my worries.

"Your father is fine," the doctor said. "I shall fetch him now. I think it's best if the news comes from him..."

What news? The doctor left, the door shutting quietly behind him. But as soon as I was alone, panic flooded me.

I collapsed back onto the bed and put my head into my hands, desperately trying to go back into the darkness where it was safe, where I wasn't confused.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to trap the tears that were trying to escape.  
>It was impossible that I had won. The careers had been training all their lives for this, I couldn't have beaten them.<br>Nik was probably around the corner, waiting to come and get me. I hadn't killed him, he could be right outside the door.

I jumped out of bed, the IV pulling on my arm. I dragged it behind me as I went to the door, a scalpel in hand which was once on my bedside table.

The door opened. I lept forward but then stopped when I saw Haymitch standing there looking tired and haggard. I could tell from his bloodshot eyes that he hadn't drank in a long while.

"Hello," I said shyly. He practically ran toward me and pulled him into his chest, hugging me tightly. We remained silent, but his grip was firm, though he was protecting me from something. What had happened to me?

"Haymitch I-". Sobs overcame me before the words were out of my mouth.

"It's okay kid, you're safe," he said in an unusually soft voice.  
>I had missed his voice, his smell; a musty mix of strong spirits and stale bread. To most people it was revolting, but to me it was home. I snuggled in closer, my breathing becoming more regular.<p>

"What happened?" I breathed against his stomach.  
>"You were drowning, the boy had too much venom in him. You were both dying, so they saved you. They need a victor." Though his voice was quiet, he could not hide the distaste for Nik, his chest practically growled when he spoke.<br>I looked up at him, but my eyes fell on the poster I couldn't read before.

"I can't see properly. What happened to my eyes?"

Haymitch sighed in defeat. "Tracker jackers. They stung your eyes, well, everywhere really. You were smart to run to water. Anyway, the Capitol couldn't fix your eyes completely. You may need glasses from time to time. But you can't wear them in public."

I scoffed. They Capitol were so stupid. What was wrong with glasses.  
>I sighed and leaned back into Haymitch. "I suppose it could be worse."<br>His body went stiff.

"Haymitch is-"  
>He backed away. I thought he was going to leave me so I followed, but he didn't. He went to my bedside table and picked up a small mirror. He held it to his chest as he walked back over.<p>

"All retinal parts of your eye were destroyed. The doctors tried everything and as a result of the surgery..." he turned around the mirror.

My skin was a flawless, shiny white, completely free from any scars or spots. My lips seemed fuller and even more pouty and pink than they used to be, but that was not what caught my attention.

I always liked my eyes. They were a dark brown, a rarity in my district. But they were not completely brown any more. Well, my left one was. But my right eye was mixed with a light brown, my iris swirled between my natural and this mutant colour. I stared at my reflection in shock as Haymitch continued talking.

"It's called Heterochromia. It should fade a bit but the Capitol want you to wear contacts when you go out in public. I don't know why. I think you look quite distinguished sweetheart."

"Big word for you," I commented, handing him back the mirror. He merely shrugged.

An awkward silence fell upon us. Haymitch swayed back and forth on the balls of his feet. I could see he was itching for a drink, his warm eyes told me he hadn't one in a long time, but he did not leave me.

"So, how are you feeling?" he asked after a long while.  
>Scared, on edge, worried, paranoid, sick, confused, guilty. "I'm fine," I shrugged, sitting back down on my bed.<br>I couldn't tell him how freaked I was. He had enough problems of his own without mine added to it. This was my burden, and I had to deal with it as best as I could.

"Good," he told me, not meeting me in my eye. "Because your prep team will be here soon to prepare you for the ceremony tonight."  
>"What?" I asked flatly.<p>

"I asked Effie if we could have it a day earlier. Then we can go home tomorrow..."  
>I nodded but wasn't really listening, my thoughts to preoccupied with the idea of home. I could see Peeta, Madge, Gale, Darius and the rest of my district that I had grown to love, even if they hated me. I would make an effort, in honour of Thor's last wish, and help his family. Not that they would need much. Twelve would be showered with food parcels for the next year.<p>

Haymitch stayed until my prep team arrived. He tried to make conversation but my mind was elsewhere. Maybe when we got home things may be better.  
>Rohm began sucking up to me as soon as he walked through the door; Guilt, from being so awful to me before the games. My prep team gushed about how wonderful I was but like before, I tuned them out.<br>I was tired though and I began to drift off. But then I awoke with a start in our apartment in the training centre. Someone must have carried me here after prep.

I padded over to the kitchen to grab a drink, my throat was so dry. I ate some food too, since my dinner was rationed due to my shrunken stomach.  
>There were no cups around so I took a guilty gulp from the orange juice carton. It was fine, no one in our little group drank juice anyway.<p>

I put the carton back and closed the fridge door only to come face to face with Nik, who had been hiding the entire time.

I froze, in complete shock. I thought he was dead. He had made it out too. The gamemakers had played a sick trick to catch us off guard. My breath hitched in my throat as he stepped closer, a knife in hand.

"Hello Beautiful." He lunged at me, the knife piercing my face. I closed my eyes but felt no pain.

I reopened them curiously, only to find myself back in the hospital, my prep team circled around me with frightened expressions on their flawless faces.

"What's wrong?" Rohm asked, his genetically enlarged eyes appearing even wider. "You were screaming, we couldn't wake you."

"It was nothing, just a little nightmare," I shrugged weakly. Normal people would have questioned my shaky tone, but they were not normal.

"Oh okay!" one of the women in my prep team said brightly. Their creepy smiles appeared once more as they launched back into their mindless chatter. Which was fine by me, I needed to think.

My dream felt so real, it was scary. I was vulnerable to these mental attacks at any time. But maybe it was just a one off, hopefully. I couldn't burden anyone with this. I'd be fine, I always was.

After about an hour, Rohm shoved me into a strapless dark blue dress that fell to the floor with a large slit that went up the right leg.

"Don't you think this is a little... Inappropriate?" I was only fifteen and this dress was made for a twenty five year old model.  
>He let out a laugh, but I could tell by his clouded eyes that he wasn't happy with my opinion; again.<p>

"You look ravishing my darling."  
>I self consciously smoothed out my body, but found small padding near the stomach.<p>

"You're a little on the skinny side," Rohm informed me.  
>"I thought Capitol people liked skinny?" I asked.<p>

"Skinny, not homeless twig, haha," he let out another cruel laugh. I wanted to retort but didn't want to deal with the aggro. It was best just to get this over and done with.

They led me upstairs where I was taken to a lobby. I could hear the roaring crowds outside and was a little taken back. I had barely seen anyone in two weeks and now there were crowds waiting for me. I was the victor.  
>I couldn't be scared little Emery anymore. I needed to go back into role. Give them what they want and get out. But there was a problem with these people, they always wanted more...<p>

I couldn't bare to relive the games so I spent the recap starting blankly at the corner of the screen.

My night was plagued with nightmares so I was a little distant for my interview the next morning. My answers were shallow and blank, but they got what they wanted. Now I was free to go home.

I got changed out of my puffy dress and into jeans and a tshirt. I looked around my room but there was nothing I needed to take back, just my bracelets which still sat proudly on my arm.

For the first time since I had came out of the arena I allowed myself to smile. Tomorrow I would be home and all of this would be behind me.

I skipped out into the communal area but stopped in my tracks. Haymitch was pacing around the room whilst an older man in a suit sat on the sofa, two Avoxes and a peacekeeper flanked behind him. This wasn't good.

"Ah Miss Abernathy, how nice of you to join us. I am Richard Small, assistant to the president."  
>The way he said assistant freaked me out but I shook his hand all the same.<p>

"The president has called to see you, just a congratulatory procedure for our popular victors. If you'll come with me please." This definitely wasn't good.  
>I looked hopelessly at Haymitch but he nodded for me to go. There was nothing we could do.<p>

I nodded and went down in the elevator with them then into a car. I didn't know why, the presidents mansion was just across the square. But everything here had to be official.  
>My legs shook with fear as I walked up to President Snow's office door. I knocked slowly three times.<p>

"Come in," his cold voice called.  
>I took a deep breath and opened the door. It was a large room. I expected it to be modern but it was very traditional with its wooden bookcases and red carpet. There was a large window that looked out onto the square. In front of the window sat Snow half concealed between a large mahogany desk.<p>

"I've been expecting you, please sit."  
>I silently walked over to the lone chair that sat in front of his desk. As I neared, I was overcome by the stench of blood and roses. I held back a gag as I sat down on the small chair which was at least six inches shorter than his.<p>

"First of all a congratulations is in order. We haven't had such a popular victor since Finnick Odiar." Finnick. I hoped I'd be able to see him before we left. The last I saw of him was the night he tried to kiss me and I cruelly turned him down.

"The sponsors were throwing money at you," Snow continued. "You would be dead if it wasn't for them and it is only best if you repay them."

"You can take it out of my winnings. You don't need to ask," I said dumbly.  
>He let out a humourless laugh. "These people have plenty of money."<p>

"Then what do they - Oh." Prostitution. I would be forced to become a Capitol whore, my life destroyed like Finns.  
>"I can't," I protested, my face hotting up. "I'm only fifteen. I've never even-"<p>

"It's fine. We start you off at the victory tour, someone young and easy. Mr Odair will help you," he said, leaning back smugly in his chair.  
>I shook my head. "I can't. I just can't." My murderous activities were disgusting.<p>

I couldn't sleep with old men too. I wanted to leave this place and my nightmares behind. If I came back here and did Snow's bidding, there was no chance of normality ever again.

"This is not an option Miss Abernathy," he said sternly.  
>"Isn't it? Are you going to tie me up an force me?" I asked, my blood boiling.<br>"Of course not. Becoming a courtesan is a choice you make on your own. Some people need persuading, but I know that won't happen to you," he said, sinisterly.

"Persuading?"  
>"You would hate for anything to happen to the people you loved?"<br>Ok, this was make or break time. I had to put on the best performance of my life or people would die.

I scoffed and lent back in my chair. "With all due respect sir, haven't you listened to a word I've said, everyone hates me. The only person I care about is Haymitch and you can't kill him. Sorry but that would arouse suspicion."  
>His expression was murderous. His finger twitched towards a drawer which I was sure contained some kind of weapon but he didn't move. I had made him mad; I needed to fix this.<p>

"I'm not saying I'm going to be forever alone or anything but at this moment I can't do it. I'm sorry."  
>His expression softened slightly but turned sinister again. "You'll find someone, they always do. I have my eyes on you Miss Abernathy. You are dismissed, for now."<p>

I nodded and walked out the room as quickly as I could. I had brought myself some time but at what cost. I couldn't talk to Peeta and Madge anymore, Snow would get them. But some time alone would be good. It kept us all safe.

As I walked outside, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I crashed straight into a man, knocking us both to the floor.

"I'm so sorry," I mumbled, pulling us both up. I looked up and came face to face with Finnick. He hadn't time to react before I threw my arms around his waist.

"Finn!" I cried. "I thought I wouldn't get to see you. Thank you so much for the pizza. I'm so sorry that I was awful to you. You're a great friend you didn't deserve that."

"Em," he cut in, but I couldn't stop babbling.

"Did Snow tell you, he wants me to be a courtesan," I asked hysterically. To my surprise he nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry, I tried to get you out of it. I'll be there whenever you need me," he said sadly. I smiled slightly and shook my head.  
>"I'm not doing it, I'm out, for now..."<p>

"Em, do you realise how dangerous it is turning him down?" he asked, leading me down the street. Not in the direction of the training centre, but the town.  
>"I know what I'm doing."<p>

"You better," he mumbled. We walked in silence for a while until we rounded the corner and the club we went to called 'vintage' came into view. It looked different in daylight. Dead and abandoned.

"Why are we here?" I asked curiously. I wasn't getting drunk around Finnick again.  
>"We need to talk... In private."<br>He took me around the back entrance and knocked on the door thrice then once after a second gap.

The door crept open, revealing a tall bearded man not much older than Finnick. His hair was a sandy blond and he had a youthful and fun face, despite his serious expression.

"Come in, top room," he said to Finnick, opening the door wider so we could enter.

I began to panic a little as I came in. The train would be leaving soon, should I really be hanging around in an underground bar. Well, it was too late to turn back now.

I followed Finnick and the man up the stairs until we reached a landing with a lone door. The man opened it and led us into a dark room with a battered table in the middle and a sticky carpet from dropped beer.  
>Finnick and I sat down while the man hovered at the door.<p>

"Can I get you anything?" he asked.

"Just some water, thanks Rock." The man nodded and left but came back two seconds later with a big grin on his face.

"I'm Rocky Dakota by the way, the owner."  
>"Nice to meet you," I smiled back. He winked and went back downstairs. I turned to Finnick.<br>"So, what's the secret?"

He looked down. "It's not easy for me to tell you this so I'm just going to launch into it.  
>"There is an organisation, mainly made up of victors and people involved in the games, who are trying to overthrow it."<p>

"What?" I asked. Could the horrors really be over.  
>"Don't get excited were far off yet. There's barely a dozen of us. You weren't supposed to be inducted yet until you were known to be trusted but due to recent events it's been chosen that its best."<p>

Finnick was about to elaborate but Rocky returned with our drinks and a pack of cigarettes. "Am I allowed to listen?" he asked, placing our things down on the rickety table.

"You already know," Finnick said before turning to me. "Rocky's in on it. He doesn't know the full blow but he can be trusted. If you need any help, come to this man."

I nodded but didn't really see a situation where I would need a twenty year old barman.

"There's been... talks throughout the districts, nothing major but enough to make a difference," Finnick told me.

"To get this thing going we need a spark to light the fire," Rocky told me.  
>"So what does this have to do with me?" I asked.<p>

"Your actions in the arena caused people to take note. You were a flicker of hope. If we can get another victor like you, we may have a chance of an uprising and an opportunity to bring peace to Panam," Finnick said.

"You're the flicker," Rocky said. "I just hope we can get a spark. And soon."

**END OF PART TWO**

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><p>I'm so sorry I haven't updated for a while. There was this whole memory loss sub-story like but it really didn't work so I hate to rewrite the chapter a million times. I'm also uploading this on my phone, so sorry for any formatting issues.<p>

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I'm sorry but I can't do shout outs because, as I said, I'm on my phone. But I promise I have read them all and will do double shout outs next time.

I really am an awful author aren't I?

Thanks so much for reading, let me know what you think : )


	22. The Fall

PART **THREE: THE LOST GIRL**

**Lost:**

**Adjective:**

**1. Unable to find one's way**

**2. Ending in defeat; unable to win**

**3. distracted; distraught; desperate; hopeless**

* * *

><p>That's where they found me, My head and my hands<p>

The sheriff he asked me, Why had I run

And then it came to me, Just what I had done

And all for no reason, I wish I was dead, I hung my head

- I Hung My Head, Johnny Cash

* * *

><p><strong>Three Months Later...<strong>

I stood on the roof of the mayors house, watching as the monthly parcels arrive. I suppose this is the only good thing about winning.

The children from the Seam are always first in line. They practically shake with excitement when the wooden crates are brought out into the street then prized opened.

For both the other two parcel days I came to the roof and watched, it's become a sort of tradition for me. Up here I can watch unseen, without having to suffer their admiring looks or thank you's. I don't deserve anything.

The past three months have been hard.

When I arrived off the train the crowds were cheering. Madge and Peeta stood on the sidelines but as much as I wanted to, I could not greet them. The cameras were behind me, and I was sure my antics would get back to Snow.

I didn't ignore them completely but I wasn't as buddy as I used to be. I couldn't be their friend anymore. Our friendship would lead to death.

They realised though that things had changed. My hollow cheeks and glassy eyes told everyone who passed me that I was not the same bright and happy girl I used to be.

When I left here, I held the innocence of a girl, worried about her first crush, desparately wishing to return to him. But now I wished I would have died in the arena. I wasn't living anymore, merely existing.

I had pushed everyone away in order to keep them safe. Peeta and Madge were hard to stay away from but Gale was predictably easy. One vague conversation told him I really was the Capitol bitch that I had invented for sponsors. Sure, I longed for his company but our relationship with just a short fantasy. Besides, you can't miss what you never had.

So, as a result of my friendless state, Haymitch was the only company I really had. His drinking had grown worse, seeing me suffering in the arena, hearing my screams every night.

Sometimes, I gave him a night off and slept in my own cold empty victors house, but I always returned home.

I asked if the house could go to a homeless family. It was just sitting there, empty, But I was turned down flat. And I knew that if I smuggled someone in, it would only end badly.

That was another result in the games: paranoia. I felt I was constantly being watched; shadows went passed me when no one was there, hallucinations were a daily occurrence. I had gone a little mad. Something that scared me more than anything else.

I couldn't deal with knowing what was fake and what wasn't. Was a man really hiding around the corner with a knife? Should I scream and run or just ignore it?

I often came and sat on the roof of the mayors mansion. It was one of the few places I felt safe. Though the long drop to the ground was always tempting...

But I could never do it, no matter how many times I stood on the edge, spreading my arms ready to fly. I was too cowardly to end my life and I could never do that to Madge. Finding your squished best friend face down in your garden would be traumatic. She was a nice girl and would probably end up as mad as I was. And no one deserved that.

Plus, Every time I thought of suicide Thor's voice popped into my head.

_Win... Live_

His voice always grounded me and made me snap out of my insane trances. Sometimes, I felt normal. But that was only sometimes.

I sat down on the edge of roof and dangled my feet over the edge. I took out a cigarette from my pocket and watched the happy children play fight over a box of chocolates.

Rocky gave me a cigarette the day after my little meeting with Finn and they helped a little. I knew it was bad for me but it helped me cope. All victors needed their escapism and this was mine. I concluded that it was better than being high on morphling or drunk all the time.

One of the boys with the chocolates let out a loud cheer as he held them in the air. He took three out of the box before handing them to a small girl.

I knew the boy, I had seen him from time to time. It was Thor's brother. Though I had never plucked up the courage to talk to them, I knew who they were. And they knew I knew or else they would get suspicious over the twenty gold coins I left on their porch every month.

I kept my promise to look after them, just like Thor's kept his to look after me.

Once I was done, I stubbed out my cigarette on the edge and walked over to the fire escape stairs. There was a little jump from the lowest landing to the ground, but it was nothing I couldn't handle.

I had initially left the house to get supplies, but the parcel had distracted me. Haymitch would be worried where I was, he always worried now days.

I walked briskly to the Hob and brought food and alcohol for Haymitch. I almost made it out without bother but Darius was hanging around Greasy Sae's stand.

"What a fine morning it is Miss Abernathy." It wasn't. It was overcast for September, but he always made an effort to speak, I had to give him that.

"Hi Darius, how's peacekeeping treating you?" I asked, trying to input some enthusiasm in my voice.

"Very well. How's victors life going?"

"It's good..." an awkward silence fell between us. I had to turn to Sae and order soup for us both, just so the tension wasn't so noticeable.

"You don't have to buy me anything. I bet you're too famous to be hanging out with the likes of me," he grinned, his smile still boyish and carefree.

"It's fine. I have a lot of money," I told him. I tapped my pocket weakly to prove it. The heavy coins that I always carried jingled heavily.

"Wow, how much money do you get?" he asked, taking long sips of his soup to fill time.

"I don't know. More than I need." I didn't mean to be dead pan and rude. I just didn't know how to talk to people anymore. It was as though my mind was incapable of conversation, the only thing I could think about was Nik, Hydra, Thor, the games, Snow's offer and a million other depressing things.

"I best go," I said as another long silence fell between us. "See you soon."

"See you!" he called, but I was already gone. Though I was sure I heard him mutter "Poor girl," to his peace keeper friends.

My next stop was the butchers. I brought meat quite a lot now. Though I was rubbish at it, I cooked a lot to kill some time. Meat dishes were always the most delicious to make.

Rooba stood behind the counter as usual, giving me a pitiful smile as I came in.

"Good morning Emery."

"Hello," I said quietly, looking around the room. It was well stocked. "What do you have?"

"A lot, we've just had a delivery not two minutes ago." I knew what that meant; Gale had just been here. I was sad that I had missed him but it was for the best. I didn't think I could cope with his judgy glare anyway.

"Squirrel?" I asked.

"Two?"

"One please." I could have gotten two, maybe even three. But if I stocked up now I would have no reason to go into town tomorrow. It was one of my few distractions.

I payed Rooba for the squirrels then went to my last, and hardest, stop: the bakery.

Peeta and Tiger were talking behind the counter while their father served a customer. They both stopped when I entered. I plastered a fake smile on my face but when I saw my reflection the corners of my lips were hardly turned and I appeared to be grimacing.

I dropped the act and marched up to them indifferently.

"Hello," I said, my voice unusually chipper. Peeta noticed this. A boyish grin appeared on his face.

"Hey Em, what can we get for you?"

"A loaf and six rolls please," I said politely. Peeta nudged his brother to carry out my order. Tiger rolled his eyes but said no more, he would rather work that talk to me. We had never got on well.

"How's school?" I asked Peeta. Since I had won, I didn't need to go to school. At first it was a blessing but now I kind of want to go back. I was lonely at home and school would be a good distraction.

"It's good thanks. History's still spectacular."

I found myself smiling slightly at his comment. And it was a genuine smile, my first in a long while.

"Aw, having a hard time without me?" I joked.

"It's impossible," he smiled. I wanted right there to jump across the counter and hug him. But I couldn't. Our friendship would surely get back to Snow.

"Watch the front for five minutes. I've got to pay for the game," Mr Mellark said before going into the back. My good mood disappeared instantly.

Gale was just around the corner. I had seen him around the district and had done a marvellous job of avoiding him. But could I really stay away. He always had a way of drawing me in, no matter how cruel he was to me.

But I couldn't. Besides he would never want me. I was a murdering monster.

My cheeks began to hot up as Peeta looked at me curiously.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine!" I snapped.

Tiger was slicing the loaves, I could here the cutting loudly in my ears, my eyes couldn't help but zone in on the knife.

The tip of it was blooded but I did know how, had Tiger cut his hand?

"Why is there blood on the knife?" I asked hysterically.

"There's nothing there. It's clean," Peeta said, walking over to me with a panicked expression. I stepped away. Why was he lying? I could see with my own eyes.

"There's blood." I looked over to the counter but I saw it was covered in blood. Hydra stood behind the counter, her hands, neck and body covered in blood from my attack.

She smiled at me sadistically.

"You killed me," she grinned, coming closer to me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for any of this to happen!" I shouted.

"Emery, who are you talking to?" Peeta asked.

I could hear the boy from threes screams, Ethos' last breath, Hydra's plea's for mercy. Their voices blasted through my head, ricocheting off my brain. I covered my ears with my hands and squeezed my eyes shut, but it did nothing to help. They were still there, taunting me.

"_You only lived because of Odair and your dad, you're worthless."_

_"You pretend to be innocent but you're a cold hearted murderer."_

"I'm not," I cried, sinking to the floor.

"Tiger, get dad!" I heard someone shout. I knew the voice but I didn't know who it was.

A hand rested on my shoulder. It was Hydra. I screamed and lashed out at her but she backed away, her voice deeper, different.

I closed my eyes and allowed them to focus. I reopened them and saw Peeta sitting cautiously beside me, like I was a cobra waiting to strike. But we weren't alone.

Tiger, Mr Mellark, Katniss Everdeen and Gale all stood at the door with shocked and frightened expressions on their faces. There were a few people in the street too who had stopped and stuck their heads in the window to find out what the ruckus was.

I breathed heavily, trying to regain some composure. It was just a hallucination. Nothing new. I had never had an episode like this in public before. I just needed to calm down and get out of here.

"I'm sorry," I said smally. I was met with silence. I tried to stand but my legs were shaking and buckled beneath me.

Peeta caught me but Gale rushed forward. Our eyes met briefly. They had hardly changed since our last meeting, still cold and grey. But they now held a look of concern that I had rarely seen. The look that use to make my stomach churn with excitement. But now I was just embarrassed about my little episode.

"I'm sorry, I'm just going to go home."

I stood again but felt both Gale's and Peeta's arms around me. They glared at each other for a second.

"I'll take her," Peeta said. Gale retrieved my bags from the floor and shoved them into Peeta's hands.

"Walk with Katniss, I've got her."

I didn't see the look he gave Peeta but my friend practically ran across the room to Gale's rumoured girlfriend.

I scolded myself for thinking about that and getting jealous. Gale was at perfect liberty to go out with who he liked. I was out of the running since I had returned.

Why was this happening to me? I wasn't safe any where even in the bakery. Wherever I went I was haunted by my nightmares and memories. I needed to stop them but how.

I knew what I did was wrong. Acceptance was the first step to normality but what was the second. Regret? Fear? Sorrow? I was already feeling all those emotions.

I shut my eyes, feeling more comfortable in the darkness. I must have zoned out because the next thing I knew I was being carried while voices talked around me. Peeta and Gale. I kept my eyes shut, not wanting to face any awkward questions.

"Why are you two so..."

"I don't know what you're talking about, I just look out for her," Gale snapped from just above me. He was carrying me. I could tell from his woodsy smell and thick arms.

"You were the one who brought her home after she was mugged. Don't pretend there's nothing going on," Peeta said protectively.

"She changed in the Capitol. She pushed us all away," Gale said defensively.

Peeta tutted his teeth. "And... No matter what's gone on she's still my friend. She's confused, she needs help and I'm not going to turn my back on her."

I wanted to cry at his little speech. But I was supposed to be unconscious so I couldn't.

"Wow bakery boy. That was inspiring," Gales said scathingly. Peeta huffed but said no more. They continued their walk in silence.

There was a slight incline as we walked up the steps before I heard the front door swing open and slam on the inside wall.

"What's happened, is she ok?" Haymitch asked. I couldn't keep my eyes closed no matter how much I wanted to.

I smiled weakly at my scraggly guardian who stood panicked in the doorway.

"Hi."

He let out a large sigh of relief.

"Put her in her room," he instructed Gale before pulling Peeta in the kitchen to grill him over what had happened.

I was kind of glad I didn't have to speak to Peeta. He meant well, but his kindness made me feel even more guilty and undeserving. Gale's scowling eyes were exactly what I needed.

"Where's your room?" he asked me, his voice impassive and emotionless.

"It's okay I'll walk." He didn't put me down. "That one," I said pointing to the door next to the bathroom. God, I hoped it was tidy.

Gale nudged the door open and put me down on the bed. He hovered over me with questioning eyes.

"Thanks," I mumbled, looking down. "And I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "You were always strange."

Really I should have cried and protested at his comment but I could only smile. "Can't argue with you there. But today... That wasn't what I was apologising for."

I shouldn't have said anything. It was better we weren't friends. It was safer for us all that way. But I couldn't help myself.

Gale took one small step towards me and perched on the end of my bed. I studied him carefully. He looked the same as he always did. Pretty much unchanging except for a few new scars on his hands.

I looked up to meet his eyes but found them staring back into mine. I looked down shyly, my hair falling into my face.

He lightly lifted my chin with his hand and brushed it behind my ear.

"I always liked your eyes," he commented softly, his fingers lingering on my jaw. "They were always so warm and bright. Now their different."

"It's called heterochromia," I muttered quietly.

"I'm not talking about the color," he said quickly. "They just look so..."

"Dead?" I offered, my tone somewhat humorous. He smiled slightly.

"I see there's still hope for you yet."

He rose to leave but then stopped at the door. His arms resting on the door frame, though debating whether to stay or not.

He turned around slowly. "Remember when I said, I'd tell you when you got home..."

"Don't," I said, holding up my hand. I couldn't know now, not in my state. It would only end in disaster for both of us. I wasn't ready for, well, wherever Gale and I were once heading, not yet anyway.

"Tell me when I'm sane," I smiled slightly.

He grinned. "You never were."

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><p><strong>Thanks to AllyAlly9462, La-Lucy, KeepingTheSecret, Annie770, opalvampire, Loveable Leo, Kai, KattyHunger, CarpeDiemForLife, Arocora, XMasterBlackX, Kerry, Alice Williams, StayingAlive223, revanha, Crazy-ForeverxXx, TheGirlWhoWasOnFire21, greenliandakes and anyone else who reviewed because there were lots of 'guests'<strong>

**Next chapter Emery will have a very important visitor. And I may include her talent...**

**Again, sorry for any typos or formatting issues, I'm on my phone.**

**Thanks so much for reading, let me know what you think : )**


	23. The Confessions

I'll show you mine, If you show me yours first

Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse

Let's unwrite these pages, And replace them with our own words

- Swing Life Away, Rise Against

* * *

><p>Haymitch asked me to cut his hair. Normally, he had it cut in the town but today he asked me to do it. It was to give me something to do.<p>

Since the incident in the bakers I had not left the house. I was mortified and humiliated about it. However, I was glad I was feeling another emotion than guilt and fear.

Peeta came to the house with cheese buns and asked how I was. I was dry and uncaring. He hasn't visited since. Gale hadn't either. I was upset, but even if they had come again, it would only end badly. I was 90% sure the house was bugged.

"Emery you with me?" Haymitch asked, bringing me back down to earth. I nodded then shook my head, trying to rid all irrelevant thoughts. If I wasn't concentrating, I could botch up his hair, then he wouldn't be happy.

Haymitch handed me the electric razor and sat down on the chair in front of me. Ironically, he had to go to the lady who usually cut his hair to borrow it, but I didn't bring that up. I wasn't really in the mood to argue. I just wanted to cut his hair then go back to moping.

His hair was thin and balding so it didn't take long at all. Once I was done he thanked me and went to get a broom to sweep up.

I took the guard off the razor and moved to put it back in its box but I caught my reflection in the mirror.

I did look awful, my greasy hair hung around my face. It was so long and scraggly. I remembered in the arena how Nik grabbed it and pulled me back. There was really no need for my long hair. I used to love how I could do anything with it, but now it just got in the way. I wanted it short. In fact, I didn't want it at all.

I turned the razor on and put it behind my ear. I glanced uncaringly at the mirror and moved my hand up. My thick hair momentarily blocked the razor before falling daintily down to the floor. I only shaved about two inches before it got clogged. I pulled the hair off and moved to the other side.

"Emery don't!" Haymitch shouted, pulling the razor from me but my hands were holding it tightly.

He yanked it away but the vibrating razor cut his hand. Immediately I let go, zoning in on the blood on his hand. My breath hitched in my throat.

My eyes zoned in on the blood as my breathing began to get more ragged. It was back again, I was being mentally transported back into the arena. My face heated up.

"Emery?" Haymitch said warily. "It's fine, it's me, I've just cut my hand. Calm down."

I closed my eyes. It was the razor that cut him, not a tribute or me. Everything was fine, it was just a hallucination. I'm in no danger, everything was fine.

I slowly opened my eyes. Haymitch stood in front of me, a clump of my hair in his hands.

"Oh Emery," he pulled me into his arms as I sobbed into his chest.

"What's happening to me?" I cried, burying my face further. I truely had lost it.

Not only was I hallucinating, I had shaved a huge chunk out of my hair. It was like I had no control over my actions. I was a bystander in my life while someone else took over and ruined it.

My life had turned to shambles. I needed help, but not just any help, the help of my friends. But I couldn't do that.

Haymitch had sensed that there was something up since I turned Peeta away last week, and he had chosen now to ask.

"What's going on with you? I know you've had a hard time, but you're not doing anything for yourself, sweetheart."

I pulled away and turned to look out of the window; I couldn't look him in the eye. I used to be an excellent actress but now everyone could see right through me.

"I can't say," I mumbled.

Haymitch huffed and then walked out the room. I heard the shuffle and bangs of the cupboards opening before he returned with two bottles of vodka in hand.

"Living room now," he said sternly. I followed slowly behind him, not liking where this was going.

Once we got there, he sat on the floor, his legs sprawled under the coffee table. I sat opposite, kneeling down in case I had to make a quick get away if the conversation turned uncomfortable.

Haymitch popped the lid off one of the bottles and pushed it towards me. I stared at it unmoving. I was more likely to spill all under the influence, and Haymitch knew that.

"Come on, what's wrong. You'll never get better if you keep everything bottled up," he reasoned.

"You keep everything bottled up," I said cheekily, pulling out a cigarette from my pocket. "Care to share?"

I triumphantly put the cigarette in my mouth but Haymitch leant across the table and pulled it out.

"Not inside," he scolded. "Now back to the sharing, you tell me your story and I'll tell you mine."

I debated his offer. Even to me, Haymitch was alway a question mark, his past uncertain. All I knew of his life before me was that he won the second Quarter Quell. He had no family or friends. To my knowledge he had never been married, or had a girl friend. My years of wondering would be over, if I swallowed my pride.

I sighed in defeat. "Snow wants be to be a... Courtesan."

"What!" he shouted, standing up. He lost his footing and fell to the floor, his vodka sloshing all over the carpet. "But you're only-"

"I know!" I muttered. "He threatened to hurt the people I care about, so I cut off all ties with my friends."

He huffed in anger, his face tomato red. "Trust me sweetheart, you need your friends to help you through this."

"I know, but what are my options." I shrugged and took a swig from the bottle.

A silence fell between us as Haymitch thought hard over what I had just told him. I appreciated his concern but there was nothing he could do for me. I was a crazy fifteen year old could-be prostitute with a botched hair cut. I was beyond help.

"So, what's your story then?" I asked, trying to ease the tension. He hesitated. "Remember we had a deal."

"What do you want to know?" he slurred taking a gulp from his bottle.

"What happened to your family?" My voice was hesitant, small.

"I pissed off Snow. When I got home they were all dead, including my girl: Matilda Theréy."

It took a second for the name to register but then it clicked. "My Aunt?"

He nodded, a glassy expression in his eye.

"I'd grown up with Carla and Matilda. We started dating when we were thirteen. She was the one." He stared into the corner of the room as he spoke, a stray tear rolled down his cheek. I wanted to comfort him in someway, but I was too stunned.

"But when I came to your door, when we met, you said you didn't know her," I protested.

"I didn't. I hadn't seen your mother in years, we lost touch after... Oh course I knew who you were as soon as I saw you," he recovered. "You have the same eyes, and no one has eyes like that. The only other person who does was your brother."

I froze again, now completely in shock. So he did know Rhys. How long did he know he was my brother? Forever, by the way he was talking. Why didn't he tell me?

I couldn't talk, he had lied to me. Well, Haymitch technically hadn't done anything seriously wrong, but I still felt betrayed.

We had lived together for two years but he had told me nothing. Heck, if Matilda was still alive, Haymitch would probably be my uncle.

The connection between our families, his secrets, it was all too much to process. I could see now why he had been driven to a life of drink.

I lent across the table and gave his hand a squeeze before letting mine fall limply at my side.

"I'm sorry about everything, I really am, but it's been a long day. I need time to process everything."

I took my half empty bottle with me and raced upstairs. I kept my cool for a long while. Even when I thought through the days events I did not cry. Only when I saw my reflection in the mirror did I breakdown.

I was used to being messed up on the inside, but my carefree appearance always made me seem fine. But now I was as messed up inside as I was out.

My kingdom truly had turned to rubble.

:-:

"Emery, get up, the trains going to be here in twenty minutes!" Haymitch called up the stairs three days later.

Apparently, Haymitch was obliged to give a weekly report about me to the Capitol. He let slip that I had shaved my hair so now a hairdresser was traveling here especially to sort me out. Couldn't have a victor appearing weak now, could they?

To be fair though, I was a little happy for the company. Things between Haymitch and I had been tense, so it would be nice to have someone to talk to.

It was quite warm for September so I dressed in a sundress and put on a straw trilby hat. Apparently, no one was allowed to see my awful hair.

I decided to walk to the train station just to get out of the house. In the space of two weeks I think I only left twice and one of those was to go to my house next door.

There was a small group of kids at the station, there always was when a big shiny Capitol train arrived. I suppose it gave them false hope of what they could have one day. It was sad, but it was nice to have something to look forward to.

I milled at the back of the crowd and leant up against the wall. It really was a hot day, I wanted nothing more than to take off the stupid hat, but I couldn't.

A few Capitol photographers were hanging around for some reason too. They took a few snaps of me before eagerly going back to the platform.

Photographers were not part of the plan. Who else could be here? Dread ran down to my feet as Snow popped into my head. Could he have came to reprimand me and force me to be a courtesan. I really hoped not.

I waited about five more minutes before Rohm stepped down from the train. I groaned loudly, causing some of the kids to stare at me. Rohm was the last person I wanted to see (excluding Snow of course)

I turned around, ready to walk back home but someone else stepped from the train. I turned around and saw the familiar bronze hair of Finnick Odair.

At first I didn't believe it was him, he couldn't be here in district twelve. But then my eyes connected with his green ones and his face broke out into a smile.

My feet moved on their own accord as I began to run towards him. He was here, Finnick was actually here. I had been alone for months and now the person who I had no secrets with was just a few feet away.

I threw my arms around his chest and hugged him tightly. His arms wound around me as he pulled me closer, kissing me lightly on my head as he did so.

"Act lovey dovey, I'll explain later," he whispered lightly into my ear.

I wasn't really listening, I was just so happy to see him.

The few photographers snapped photos of us as we left the platform and onto the street.

The kids waiting outside froze in surprise at the sight of Finnick. Hushed whispered followed as we walked to the car where Rohm was already waiting inside.

"Maybe we could go for a walk?" Finn suggested. "You could show me the hot spots of twelve."

I nodded and took him in the direction of the meadow. I knew what he really was asking, he wanted to be alone, he had something important to tell me.

"So, how have you been?" he asked as we walked around the dirt track.

"Fine..." I said, kicking the dust as I walked. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"That's not what I hear."

"Well, if you knew why did you ask." My tone was scornful and I regretted the words immediately.

"What are you doing here anyway, I thought traveling between the districts was forbidden apart from victory tours?" I asked, my voice lighter.

"Snow sent me here to tell you something important. He said it was better coming from me than him."

Oh dear, what could Finnick possibly have to tell me. It would have to be pretty serious for him to come across the country.

The meadow was thankfully empty. We sat under the large tree in the middle, no one could over hear us here.

"Shoot," I said, wanting him to get to the point.

"So Haymitch is really concerned about you. And I'm just going to cut to the chase here; you need your friends."

"But-"

"Forget Snow and the courtesan thing for now," he continued. "We can work something out. You could, I don't know, make friends with everybody and then the spies wouldn't know who your real friends were. Go back to school, that would be a good ploy."

I was about to protest but then when I thought about it, it wasn't that bad of an idea. Quite genius really.

"I suspect you didn't come all this way just to tell me that," I said with a small smile. Immediately an awkward silence fell between us as Finn rubbed the back of his neck, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Well, this is what Snow wanted me to tell you. The rich men who wanted your... Services aren't happy so Snow had to think of an excuse as to why you couldn't... Fulfil their needs." I wanted to gag.

"Also, some of the enthusiasm about me has fizzled out due to my, let's just say, whorish ways," he said with a boyish grin. "So Snow said that we have to pretend to be a couple."

"What?" I asked dead-panly.

"It explains why you're off the market and shows that I'm 'settling down.' My meetings now just need to be a little more private."

I didn't want to be Finnick's fake girlfriend. I didn't want to be anyone's girlfriend.

Finnick and I would have to kiss and be all loving in public, and that was just the horrors of now. What would happen in a few years time? Would we be expected to marry, move in together?

"It's just short term," he said quickly, noticing my expression. "And it's better than being a courtesan."

He had me there. "Fine," I mumbled.

He patted me on the back. "There's a good girl, now you can have your presents."

"Presents?" I asked, my mood perking up.

He unzipped his bag and took out a polystyrene box and a CD.

"Ellie Goulding," he said handing it to me. "One of two known records. But I didn't give it to you for that reason."

He pointed to her hair which had a chunk shaved, like mine.

"Rohm's here to give you a similar style, you never know you may start a trend."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

He looked at me sadly. "And to cheer up your solemn mood. Pancakes!" he gave me the tray.

I wanted to be happy, I wanted to smile. I wanted things to be how they used to be. But they weren't. And it wouldn't be for a long while.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the typos and formatting issues I'm on my phone again. I've also changed my name. Ive had the same one for three years and I kept meaning to change it. Sorry for any confusion.<strong>

**Thanks for all the reviews and for reading, let me know what you think.**


	24. The Plan

You've got the words to change a nation, But you're biting your tongue  
>You've spent a life time stuck in silence, Afraid you'll say something wrong<br>Yeah we're all wonderful, wonderful people, So when did we all get so fearful?

I wanna sing, I wanna shout  
>I wanna scream till the words dry out<br>So put it in all of the papers, I'm not afraid  
>They can read all about it<p>

- Read all About It Pt III, Emeli Sande

* * *

><p>Finnick's visit had set me straight. I was tired of hiding, tired of shutting myself off, tired of tiptoeing around the Capitol. By doing this, I would only let Snow win. I needed to get back to my old self and the only was for everything to return normal.<p>

After Rohm had cut my hair, he and Finnick had to leave immediately. My hair looked better. I wasn't crazy about it but at least now it looked styled and not like I had a mental breakdown.

The following morning I did something I thought I would never have to do again; I got dressed and ready for school.

Despite appearing dim a lot of the time, Finnick had made some valid points. If I got around, made friends with a lot of people, then Snow wouldn't know who my real friends were. He couldn't exactly kill half the district, he'd have no workers.

So school was the best option. I could mix with everyone but spend as much time with Peeta and Madge as possible without getting suspicious.

I wasn't used to getting up so early so I was running a little late. I got into school just as the warning bell went off. The halls were empty as I raced to my first class; math.

I hoped it was still in the same room, it would be very awkward if it wasn't.  
>I slowed down as I got to the door and knocked quickly.<p>

"Come in," Miss Dragg's voice drawled.  
>I slowly opened the door and poked my head around. Thankfully it was the right room.<p>

"Sorry I'm late," I mumbled, keeping my head down as I walked to my seat at the back. Everyone stared at me in shock. I was a victor and victors were not supposed to attend school.

Just as I was about to sit down, Miss Dragg spoke again.

"What are you doing here Miss Abernathy?" she asked, trying to sound somewhat polite. Suck up. She was like this last year when she thought I was dating Finnick.

"I was bored, I wanted to come back," I shrugged. It was a half truth.

"Then take your seat," she said, returning to the board.

I sat down, looking at Gale for the first time since my breakdown in the bakery. His hair was longer. He looked at me with the same questioning eyes as everyone else, but his were guarded; like I was a china doll that could break any second.

I huffed and took out my book. Copying down the equation from the board.

"How long are you here for?" Gale whispered as the class worked in silence.

"Forever, I guess," I said quickly, just wanting to work on the equation. I hadn't seen it before. I supposed it was punishment for missing so much school.

"This is a senior class now. We won't be here long." He was right. In less than a years time, the other students in the class would go to work, most of them in the mines. For some reason, that really freaked me out.

I looked to Gale in worry but he had turned away, scribbling down his working out furiously. Once he was done, he slid it to me.

I never copied but I would need to see his method. I went through the first few lines before nodding to him in thanks and carrying on.  
>I understood it now. At least my Maths abilities were back to normal.<p>

About half way through the class, Miss Dragg told us to work with the person next to us and gave us a series of pointless questions on mineshafts and velocity.  
>Between the two of us we finished fairly quickly which only left us time to talk.<p>

"So, why'd you really come back. Nobody comes to school because they were bored." He gave me a knowing smile. It was only a small one, but Gale's smiles were rare so everyone was worth noting.

"I was lonely," I admitted. "Believe it or not, having Haymitch as your only company can get a little tiring."

"Shocking," he commented. I felt a little mean taking it out of Haymitch, but it was all in good spirits.  
>I let out a short laugh but a silence fell upon us as I didn't respond.<p>

"Your hair, it's different," Gale stated. "It looks good."

I blushed slightly but I pulled a face to cover it. "Don't lie it's awful. But mark my words when I go to the Capitol in two months, all the idiots would have copied."

His ears turned pink at my words. "Why'd you have to go to the Capitol?" he asked, his words sharp and accusing. I held up my hands in defence.

"Victory tour, it's not like I have a choice."  
>He visibly relaxed. "Sorry, it's just that place... It gets me mad."<p>

"I know," I said shortly, not really wanting to have this conversation here in front of all these people. "At least your safe though. I have to perform a talent for them."

"So?" he said, doodling boredly on his paper. I had a feeling he didn't like all this Capitol talk. Neither did I, but I couldn't just shut up mid conversation.  
>"I'm talentless."<p>

He laughed again. The sound was deep but strangely uplifting. "You talentless. The girl whose in a senior math class, who can hit anything with a knife."

"The girl whose failing English, and gym. Who can't sing, draw, cook, play an instrument, dance or do anything else creative," I defended. Sure, I could do those things that Gale listed but those were not the things that the Capitol wanted. They wanted the artsy, beautiful talents, but I couldn't deliver that.

Gale snorted. "You're the most creative person I know. You're living on a different planet most the time."  
>"So what's my talent going to be? My weirdness?"<p>

"Or lying about your whereabouts. Actually lying in general," he commented. "It's a real shame you can't make use of that."

A light clicked in my head as a wide grin crept across my face. I was sure I looked creepy but I didn't care. "Gale you're a genius!" I squealed. I threw my arms around him and squeezed tightly but then withdrew, sensing he was uncomfortable.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, blushing slightly.  
>"Acting! I could act. Or no wait!" I said, a better idea forming in my mind. "I could write a play, get kids to act it out and then get the Capitol to record it. And we could rehearse in my empty house. This is so great!"<p>

I had gotten loud now and everyone was staring but I was too excited to notice. It was a wonder I didn't think of this earlier. Haymitch regularly called me the best actress in the district. And whether the comment was tongue and cheek or not, there was no denying it was true. I could fool anybody.

And to get the district involved would be perfect. It would take a lot of work to get them in the spirit but it would all work out fine. We were a quiet district with not a lot to celebrate. I was sure this would bring everyone together.

In English, I payed no attention to the teacher and spent the hour brainstorming ideas.  
>I had no idea what the play should be on. It needed some kind of political message, but not one so strong that I would end up in jail.<br>As I thought, my mind wandered to Gale. He had been a huge help, even if he didn't realise it.

Usually, when people saw me, the first thing out of their mouth was "are you okay?" Gale never asked at all, despite him being the one who carried me home after my breakdown. He didn't bring it up, and I was grateful.

I thought about the times when we were carefree. Sure, we were training for my doom in the arena but everything was a lot more relaxed between us. Maybe the next time I went to the Capitol I could steal more clothes and give them out like before.

"Robin Hood!" I said aloud, causing the class to turn and stare again. I buried my face back in my notebook and scribbled down characters and a brief plot outline. This could actually be quite fun...

I was so absorbed in planning, I didn't even notice that the bell signalling the end of period.

I threw on my gym clothes in record time and ran into the gym. Even though I was five minutes late, Coach still hadn't arrived.  
>The guys in the class all huddled together, talking boisterously, while the girls all simpered around them.<p>

Suddenly it felt like my first day again, when I knew no one. But back then I had my saving grace: Peeta.

I searched for him in the crowd and saw a spot of blond hair, his back facing me.  
>I walked over to him and tapped his shoulder.<br>He spun around, confusion evident on his face. But when he saw me his face broke out into a smile.

"Emery!" he said, throwing his arms around me into a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I've returned," I said simply, not really wanting to explain myself yet again.

"How are you doing?" he asked.  
>I inwardly cringed. "I'm fine," I said, a fake smile plastered on my face. Peeta didn't mean any harm, he thought he was being nice. It wasn't his fault is good intentions made me feel like crap.<p>

"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages," he said, still smiling. The people around has stopped talking in order to stare and eavesdrop on our conversation.

"I know, it's been what, a month?" My tone was over chipper, I hoped no one one saw through my desperate charade for normality.

And they didn't. Poor Peeta was ecstatic that I was back to normal. I kind of was, not completely, but I was getting there.

He sat with Madge and I at lunch. Katniss Everdeen still sat silently at our table. Throughout lunch she offered wary glances, though I was about to explode at any second.

"Tell Madge your idea," Peeta said, scooping his rice into his mouth.  
>I turned to Madge with pride and told her about the play.<p>

"That's great!" she said, once I was done. "May I help?"

"Yeah sure, that would be great," I said, a little taken back. Madge was never really out there. I guess a lot had changed in four months. "Actually, you could help with music, play the piano and stuff."

Her face lit up. "Maybe I could write songs, and Peeta could paint to sets?"  
>We both looked at Peeta expectantly. He signed in defeat. "Fine."<p>

"I didn't know you painted," Katniss said quietly. The three of us stared at her in shock. She never spoke at lunch, only occasionally offering an answer when prompted. She looked down embarrassedly as we continued to gawk.

"Yeah," Peeta said, regaining himself quickly. "I sketch mostly, paints pretty scarce. But Em brought me some for my birthday. I'm ok."

"He's better than ok, he's brilliant. He could easily be a professional," I boasted like a proud parent.

Katniss nodded but then looked down at her food again, seeming bored. Oh well, at least she was semi-happy for ten seconds.

"So since history's a bore, why don't we make some posters to put up to advertise for auditions," I suggest.

Their eyes widened. "You want us to skip class?" Madge asked.

I shook my head. "No it's fine, we can do it after school."  
>I had gotten so used to not caring about the rules that I was dragging them down with me. They needed to stay safe; not in danger. I also needed to mingle more to hide my traces.<p>

Yes, school was stressful, but I was glad I returned. And with that and my play. Maybe everything would go back to normal... Maybe.

* * *

><p><strong>I am so sorry. There is no excuse to take so long, I'd be surprised if anyone was still reading this. I had terrible writers block. This isn't the most exciting chapter and I really could not write at all.<strong>  
><strong>However, this is the last dull chapter. It was kind of setting the scene for the next few. Promise, next chapter they'll be lots of arguments and personality clashes.<strong>  
><strong>Thanks for reading, let me know what you think.<strong>  
><strong>Ps. If you like divergent, I'm in the process of writing a HG crossover. First chapters on my profile :)<strong>


	25. The Conflicts

When the roll is called up yonder  
>I hope you see me there<br>You're the rose that was called from yonder  
>Never sold yourself away<p>

It's in the water, It's in the story of where you came from  
>Your sons and daughters in all their glory its gonna shape 'em<br>And when they clash and come together, and start a rising  
>Just drink the water where you came from, where you came from<br>- Radioactive, Kings of Leon

* * *

><p>As soon as I handed Darius the poster he burst into laughter. I glared at him, quite offended. I had spent ages trying to make a poster advertising auditions that was appealing to all. Darius, however, found my efforts hilarious.<p>

"Archery, sword fighting, pretty clothes... Seriously, is this an advertisement for a play or a Capitol army?" he joked.

"Shut up," I whined. I knew not many people would show up so I had to make it as appealing as possible. If we taught archery it would be both fun and relevant to the plot of Robin Hood. Plus, a future tribute may learn some skills needed later.

"And who drew this?" he mocked, pointing to a picture of a tower with a green stick man under it.

"Me..." I mumbled. He laughed again. "Okay, thank you. I did not ask for your opinion!" I said, snatching them off him. I took a tack from my pocket and pinned one to the side of Greasy Sae's stand.

She tore it off almost immediately and looked at it with interest. "What's that? One of those rocket shooters?" she asked. Darius broke out into a fit of laughter again.

"No it's Robin Hood at Prince John's castle," I said snobbishly.  
>"Robbing who?"<p>

I sighed. "I'm going to leave you guys to it. Thanks for your help," I sneered at Darius. I walked over Ripper's stall but he followed me, snatching the posters from my grasp.

"Apologise for being rude," he said, holding them high above his head.  
>"You apologise for being rude," I retorted, my hands on my hips.<p>

"I'm a peacekeeper."  
>"I'm a victor." This could go on all day. We glared at each other for a minute but then the posters were snatched from behind.<p>

Darius spun around to find the source. Gale stood with them in his hand while Katniss flittered behind.

"Thanks," I said, but he did not give them back. Instead he filtered through them looking vaguely amused.  
>"What is this?"<p>

"It's my talent. I already told you about it," I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Please tell me your talent isn't drawing."

Darius burst into laughter again but it was Gale I glared at. I had told him not a day earlier, did he really not listen to a word I said.

I took the posters off him and stormed away. I really wasn't in the mood for teasing. I had only had about two hours sleep thanks to the creation of the posters. I knew they weren't great but they could have at least pretended.

As always when I was in a mood, I found myself at the bakery.  
>As soon as I entered the door, Tiger groaned. "I'll get Peeta," he mumbled, before stalking out to the back room.<br>Bannock offered me a small smile but went back to kneading his dough, effectively ignoring me.

"Em, what are you doing here? Is everything alright?" Peeta asked, coming out from the back.

I smiled. "Yeah I'm fine." It was only the second time he had seen me since my meltdown. His precautions were understandable.  
>I handed Peeta my poster and asked to hang one up in the store.<p>

"These are... Good," he said, filtering through them.  
>I scoffed. "I've already been to the hob and been slated, there's no need to sugarcoat it."<p>

He grinned at me sheepishly and took out a pencil from his apron. "They can be easily amended."

Peeta rubbed out my stick figure and drew a quick sketch of a man. He then added a few bricks to the tower. Already it looked a million times better.

"Thanks," I said as he quickly finished improving the second one. "Mind if I hang one up here?"

"Yes," Tiger muttered but Bannock and Peeta just rolled their eyes.

"Sure, put it in the window," Bannock said, pointing to the few notices in the window. The other three were just plain advertisements for jobs so hopefully mine would stand out.  
>Peeta was done in no time but he had to get back to work; he had wasted a lot of time already.<p>

"Thanks so much for your help," I said earnestly. "Are you coming to help next Sunday?"

He screwed up his face in thought but then shrugged. "Why not," he said with a small smile.

I have him a hug and then went to the florist across the street and asked to hang one up.

For the rest of the morning I went from shop to shop in the town, making sure to have a good chat with as many people as possible. My plan to confuse Snow was a lot easier than expected.

After I was done I went to Madge's house before dinner. When I arrived she was staring into space, absentmindedly eating a bowl of strawberries.

"Are they in season?" I asked, making her jump.

"Oh hi Em, didn't see you." She looked at the strawberries thoughtfully. "I don't think they are but I'm not going to question strawberries in November," she grinned. "What have you been up to."

"Just putting these up around town," I said, showing her the last poster. She looked at it appraisingly.  
>"Wow, this is really good."<p>

"Peeta did it," I said blankly.  
>Madge grinned. "Ah that explains a lot."<p>

I glared at her and snatched away the bowl on her lap. "My strawberries now," I said, taking a handful.  
>She glared back but continued to help herself from the bowl. "Have you written the play yet?" she mumbled, her mouth full.<p>

"No, have you written the music?"  
>"No, I need something to go on. What are you doing now?" she asked.<br>"Nothing, I need to go and get some dinner though." and feed Haymitch, I added silently.

"Just eat here, we've got plenty."

Madge and I spent the rest of the afternoon planning out the play. It was a little dull but it would have been a lot worse if I had to do it alone.  
>By four o'clock we had two acts and nineteen characters planned, with room for more if needed.<p>

"Now Emery, what is your homework?" Madge asked with a giggle.  
>"Script," I said dully. "And yours?"<p>

"Music. Are you coming to school next week?" she asked.  
>I shrugged. "Maybe, it depends whether I can get up. Friday killed me."<p>

"Okay then, see you next Sunday!"  
>I grinned mischievously. "Next Sunday."<br>I don't think any of us knew what we were letting ourselves in for.

:-:

The turn out was a lot bigger than I expected. We had to open up the French doors and have half the meeting in the garden and since it was cold, a lot of people were not happy about it.

"What's up Abernathy? All this money and can't afford heating?" a boy called, gaining a few sniggers. I ignored him.

A lot of kids my age had accompanied their younger siblings, most of them just to goad or have a nose around the house.

Gale was standing near the back with Rory and Vick. There were a surprising amount of boys here. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the archery, but it was too late now. Anyway, it was better to have more people than less.  
>Once everyone had settled down, I awkwardly walked out into the small free space at the front.<p>

"Hi," I said my voice sounding rather small. "Thanks for coming."  
>A group of girls giggled at my lack of confidence. I used to have loads of it, maybe it was too soon to do this.<p>

I scanned the crowd, my eyes landing on the third row. It was Thor's brother and one of his sisters; Skandar and Rowa. They looked so much like him, especially Skandar, he had his pained eyes and straight mouth.  
>I almost lost it there and then but I felt Peeta's hand on my shoulder. I wasn't in the arena. I was here, I was safe and I had to help these people.<p>

"So the idea is to put on a production of Robin Hood, a play about a guy who steals from an evil prince and gives money to the poor," I continued.

"But most of you will need lessons in archery, fencing and maybe hand to hand combact." This made the boys in the room perk up considerably.

"Today I just wanted to take down names, see what roles people are interested in and what can you do. So if you could just-"  
>The ring of the phone interrupted me. I, along with everyone else, looked around in confusion. Who would be calling me here?<p>

"Could you start with the names please?" I asked Peeta and Madge walking out to the hallway.

I felt quite apprehensive. It was common knowledge that the Victor's houses were bugged. What if Snow had heard my plan and figured out the real reason of the play was to teach the kids combat skills. He could easily pull the plug before we'd even started.

"Hello?" I said warily into the receiver.  
>"Jesus Emery, do you know how hard it is to get a hold of you?" Finnick's voice boomed down the line.<p>

I let out a sigh of relief. "Sorry Finn, you know I don't really live here."  
>"Well you need to get Haymitch to get a new phone. So, what'cha up to?" he asked.<p>

I narrowed my eyes but then remembered he couldn't see me. "I'm sorry Finn but I'm kind of in the middle of something: my talent."

"You've found your talent!?"

"Yes, I'm putting on a production of Robin Hood," I said proudly.

"I love that story. A little controversial though, don't you think?" he asked.  
>I shrugged. "Oh well. I'm surprised you've even heard of it."<p>

"Are you kidding, it was one of my favourite as a kid. I even- nevermind." I could hear the smile in his voice. He was up to something.

"What?" I asked impatiently.  
>He laughed. "Nothing. I won't keep you, but remember to call me back. I have some couples debriefing for you."<p>

"Will do," I groaned. "Bye Finny-Winny."  
>"Laters Emmy-bear."<p>

A second later, he hung up. I put the receiver down and turned back down the hall, but Gale was leaning casually against the wall, an impatient look on his face.

"Your boyfriend," he sneered.  
>"I don't have one," I said, holding my head high and walking past him. I couldn't deal with his mood swings now, I had too much to think about.<p>

"So what's your plan with all this anyway?" he continued. "Who's going to teach them archery and sword fighting?"  
>"I am," I said, coming to a definite halt in the doorway.<p>

Gale scoffed cruelly. "You? You can barely hold a bow."  
>"I won the hunger games, didn't I?" I was getting tired of his attitude. I went back into the living room but he still followed me.<p>

"That seems to be your answer for everything lately."  
>I spun around angrily. "Seriously, what's your problem. You've been downing on me all week."<p>

He laughed. "'Downing on you?' Did fish boy teach you that?"  
>I was about to retort but then it all fit into place. "You're jealous," I stated.<p>

"I'm not," he defended.  
>"That wasn't a question." He was jealous, even if he didn't know he was. I should have revelled in the fact but I just wasn't in that place yet. And neither was Gale apparently.<p>

"How about I help with the archery?" he suggested, red faced and eager to change the subject. Rookie mistake, but I'd let it slide.

"That would be good thanks. Peeta, Madge and Clary are helping out too."  
>"Clary?" he asked.<p>

"She's from the seam, she makes clothes."  
>"I know who Clary is," he interrupted. "I was just surprised."<p>

I was too. I had never spoken to Clary before Wednesday. I had occasionally seen her sulking around looking intimidating but I barely noticed her. But as I walked through town she offered her services and I was in no position to refuse.

After the meeting, Gale had to take his siblings home, as did Clary, but they promised to come back once they were done.  
>Peeta, Madge and I gathered around the fireplace with cups of tea, looking through the names.<p>

"I have no idea who these kids are, what did you think of them?" I recognised a few last names but I couldn't really put any faces to them, excluding the Hawthorne's and the Reynolds.

"Aren't we holding auditions?" Madge asked.  
>I shook my head. "We don't have the time. It's not like a big massive thing, it doesn't have to be perfect. I thought we could just cast it but then if they're really awful, we can fire them."<p>

Peeta narrowed his eyes. "Isn't that a little cruel?"  
>"What's cruel is staying in this house for days, watching twelve year olds acting," I said riffling through a list of Maid Marion's. "Primrose Everdeen?" I read out, I knew the name.<p>

"Katniss' sister," Peeta said.  
>"What's she like?" I asked, looking at Madge but Peeta answered again.<p>

"She's really cute and well mannered. I think she'd be good."  
>I look out my pen and a new piece of paper. "Primrose for Marion then?" They both nodded.<p>

We worked through names and characters for the next hour. Unfortunately, Peeta and Madge couldn't remember a lot of people so those forgotten had to be discarded. We had a good cast so far though, with Ryan Cartwright playing Prince John and Skandar Reynolds playing Little John.

So maybe I was being a little biased there. But Skandar was very tall for his age, he'd be a perfect Little John.

The only character left to cast was Robin. Gale and Clary arrived just as we were arguing over choices.

"Simon Kyler would be great," Peeta said. "His dad owns the fruit mart."  
>"Exactly, he's too fed. Robin should be someone from the Seam, someone who knows hardship," I argued.<p>

Madge rolled her eyes. "You're being prejudice. Simon would be great or even Ryan Gould."  
>"Ryan's too cocky," I dismissed, pushing away the paper in front of me.<p>

"Oh my God. Please can you just choose," Clary interrupted.

I groaned and flopped my head onto the table. I said casting wasn't important but it was. Well, Robin was anyway. He had to be perfect.  
>I picked the notes back up and flicked through them. On the last piece of paper, there was a name we'd missed.<p>

"Rory Hawthorne," I read out. My head snapped up and looked to Gale. "I didn't know he signed up?"

"Neither did I. He told me he came to mock," Gale said with a grin. "Now I'm going to mock him."

I glared at him. "Don't you dare. Besides, I'm going to cast him."  
>"What?" Peeta, Madge and Gale asked simultaneously. Clary just watched the exchange; bemused.<p>

"He'd be good. And you could teach him to shoot and stuff. It would be so convenient!" I argued.

Peeta and Madge expected my reasoning and added Rory's name to the list. However Gale wasn't done. "No, I don't want my brother to be humiliated."

"He's not going to be humiliated but why'd you bring him in the first place," I huffed. He was back to Mr Moody-Pants Mood-Swings.

"I don't know. This entire things stupid. I don't want my brother to be paraded in front of the Capitol. I'm out too." He took his arrows off the table and marched out the door.

I gave the others apologetic looks. "I'm sorry. Carry on, brain storm. I'll go sort him out."

I didn't even bother to hide my anger. As soon as made it into the hallway, I started. "Gale!"

He was already at the bottom of the steps that led to the victors square. He glanced back but then carried on walking, his posture hunched, his hands in his pockets.

"You are such an ass!" I threw the pen that was in my hand at his head. My aim was perfect.

He angrily spun around. "What do you want from me?"  
>"You said you'd help," I said simply. "You voulenteered."<p>

"And you said before you could do it yourself. Why do you care?" he asked harshly.

He had caught me off guard. Why did I care? Gale smiled at me triumphantly and stormed away into town.

Oh, I wasn't going to let him win that easily.  
>I chased after him down the lane. I was getting a little chilly and all I was wearing was a skirt and a tank top. I hadn't even any shoes. But I couldn't let him win.<p>

"What about your brother?" I asked, running beside him.  
>"There were plenty of kids that signed up," he said, not even looking at me.<p>

I wanted to scream. Why was he being so difficult all of a sudden. It just made no sense. I knew Gale suffered PMS more than a thirteen year old girl, but that was no excuse for his behaviour.  
>I followed him all the way to the Seam, begging him for answers that he would not give me.<p>

I protested until we Blank End. That was when the cries began.  
>Gale stopped walking and put his hand out in front of me, a look of confusion on his face. I stopped too and listened carefully.<p>

It was an animal whining, followed by a gruff mans voice hailing profanities.  
>I ignored Gale was walked into the street, following the sound of the pained wails.<p>

"Emery, stop. You don't know-"  
>I hushed him and carried on walking. I wasn't going to pay any attention to his protectiveness when he was being so mean a few minutes prior. He sighed heavily but followed me down the track, taking out an arrow from his sheath. He was completely overreacting but I kept quiet, not wanting him to get angry again.<p>

As we stalked down the street, it was easier to hear where the sound was coming from. As we rounded the corner at the bottom of the road, a scruffy man stood with a small puppy, holding him by the scruff of the neck. The puppy cried as the man brought him toward a barrel of water. He was going to drown the little thing. I couldn't stop myself.

"What are you doing?" I asked, running towards him.  
>"Ain't none of your business girly," he replied, lifting up the lid to the barrel.<p>

I slammed my hand on it, preventing it. The mans face turned bright red in anger. Gale ran forward and tried to tug my arm away.

"Emery he's a runt. It's fine, it happens all the time."  
>I looked at the puppy with pity. He shouldn't be killed just for being small.<p>

"I'm little and pretty useless, you going to kill me?" I asked no one in particular. I turned to the man. "I'll take him."

"You want the runt?" he asked in disbelief.  
>"Sure." Gale watched the exchange with wide eyes, though he couldn't believe my stupidity.<p>

"Three bob," the man said, revealing a very gappy smile.

My face fell. "But you were going to kill him!"  
>"And now I want three bob. Maybe even four." He dangled the puppy over the water.<p>

Gale grabbed his arm then looked to me.  
>I dug into my pockets and handed him three coins. The man snatched the money off me and handed Gale puppy.<p>

"Pleasure doing business with you, now get off my land."

We didn't need telling twice. We ran back down the street, Gale still carrying the puppy, until we were out of Blank End.

"Are you nuts!?" Gale asked handing me the puppy.  
>The little guy put his front paws on my shoulders and licked my face.<p>

"Gross," I grinned, pulling away. He really was one of the cutest things I'd ever seen. He was white but the top of his head was grey. He was a husky I think.

"Did you not think this through. This dog is yours now. You have to look after it. And that guy was clearly not right. He could have easily hurt you," Gale continued.

I narrowed my eyes at him again. "Are you done?"  
>He glared at me and came over to stroke the puppy. He jumped from me onto Gale, licking his face like he did mine. Gale smiled slightly. I had a feeling my new cutie would be a great softening tool.<p>

"So, what you going to call him?" He asked, seeming a lot more relaxed.

"I have no idea," I said thoughtfully. "How about runt?"  
>He smiled again. "That's perfect. You're going to need a lot of stuff. Food, milk, he's only little..."<p>

And just like that, the tiny little orphan that no one wanted had melted the ice king. I just hoped his good mood lasted.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry about the slight delay, it seems that an illness has fallen across everyone and work and I had to fill in.<strong>

**Next chapter should be the play, then the Capitol, then the build up to the games.**

**This story was always supposed to be an introduction before the sequel so please bare with the slowness. It all happens in 'War Games' which will be posted in the next few weeks after I've finished this.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing, let me know what you think :)**


	26. The Victory Tour

**PREVIOUSLY IN THE SURVIVAL GAMES:** Emery Abernathy is Haymitch's adoptive daughter and winner of the 73rd Hunger Games. After having a hard time coping with normal life, her friend Finnick visits her and helps her out, but also tells her that President Snow wants them to fake date for publicity. Emery planned to perform a play for her talent before embarking on her victory tour.

* * *

><p><em>You wasted all that sweetness to run and hide<br>I wonder why  
>I've fallen from grace<br>Took a blow to my face  
>I've loved and I've lost<em>

_It's okay to be afraid  
>But it will never be the same<br>- Explosions, Ellie Goulding_

* * *

><p>The train journey to District 11 seemed to be a blur, like it wasn't real. I was still in a daze from the play. They were all brilliant of course. It was filmed live then sent to the Capitol where it apparently went down a storm. The capitol citizens like it when their little district pets put on a show.<p>

As soon as the show was over, I was whisked away to the Justice Building where I was interviewed for television. It was my first official appearance since I went mad and shaved off my hair. I smiled and laughed at their questions but on the inside I was squirming.

I was also asked 101 questions about Finnick and I. Were we dating? Were we in love?

"We're just friends," I said, looking down at my lap and smiling slightly. Snow would like that. I had received a letter telling me that we were to go public at my ball. Until then we were to keep the public guessing. Was I happy about this, of course not. But I had gotten away with so much; even I knew not to rock the boat.

"We're here Em," Haymitch said, shaking me lightly.

"Thanks," I said, standing up from my window seat and brushing myself down. The district was warmer, lighter than 12, but there was something quite unfriendly and oppressive in the air.

This would be one of the easier districts. Both the tributes from 11 had died on the first day and I had very little interaction with them. It would be the career districts and three that would be the worse. I had actually murdered their tributes; I doubted I'd get a warm welcome.

There was a small crowd milling around the station, photographers and such. Haymitch put his arm around me and led me to the taxi.

"Ugh, I do not to be here," I moaned, leaning my head against the cool window.

"Just think, in ten minutes, you'll be reunited with Rohm."

I let out a loud groan that strongly resembled a cow giving birth. "Please don't. I can't handle the frills and the nakedness."

The tops of Haymitch's ears turned pink. "Don't let him. You're a victor, you're in charge now."

"I was in charge anyway," I said with a small smile. He scoffed.  
>"If my memory recalls, it was Finnick who gave you the trowels and saved you from embarrassment."<p>

"You're a drunk, your memories mush," I answered back with a grin. The car pulled to a stop outside a building just like our justice building, I had a feeling they were standard issue.

"I'll make you pay for that sweetheart," Haymitch answered, getting out the car.  
>"I'd like to see you try old man."<p>

My rare happy mood dissolved as soon as I walked into the lobby. I looked around for Effie but she wasnt there. Instead Peacekeepers lined the walls, surrounding a man who stood grandly at the stairs.

"Welcome, Abernathy's. I am Reg Dobson, the Mayor of the District." I was surprised. He looked quite shabby for a mayor. We weren't the richest district, in fact we were the poorest, but even Madge's dad owned a jacket that wasn't threadbare.

I smiled back at him and held out my hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Sir. My names Emery."

He let out a chuckle. "Of course you are. Have you met our previous victors?" He gestured to the far corner of the room where a group of three people sat. I couldn't really make out their faces because I wasn't allowed to wear my glasses, but if I remembered right, Haymitch's best friend was from District 11. No wonder he was so chipper earlier.

"Miss Abernathy, I'd like you to meet Rosie, Seeder and Chaff." Before the words were out of his mouth, Chaff pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

"Lovely to see you she-mitch! Haha," he laughed. My face remained stony.  
>"Is there really a need to squeeze the life out of me, every time we meet?" I asked, rubbing my sore ribs.<p>

"Ignore him honey, he's just bitter because he was made to get up before 5pm," Seeder said, putting an arm around me. I laughed, that I could relate to. I saw the elderly woman, Rosie, crack a smile too.

"I'm sorry, I don't recognise you, what games did you win?" I asked politely.

Rosie grinned at me mischievously and opened her mouth. She had no tongue, only a green and blue stump of flesh in its place. I shrunk back in disgust while everyone else laughed.

"Rosie's a mute, a career cut her tongue off in the 19th Hunger Games," Chaff explained. "But it doesn't stop her completing her little party trick every time we get a new victor aye Rosie?"

Rosie let out a strange howl of approval then laughed along with the others. At least she seemed happy. She'd accepted the past and moved on. I could do with taking a few life lessons from Rosie.

"My apologises," Mayor Dobson cut it. "But we're under a very tight schedule and your stylist is here to dress you."

I looked to the top of the stairs and saw Rohm waiting at the top with the prep team I couldn't remember the names of. There was another man with them I didn't recognise. He looked quite normal for Capitol stylist, something that made him strangely attractive.

I didn't get offered introductions. As soon as my foot touched the top step, Rohm took us to a large bedroom where four dresses had been laid out.

"It's so lovely to see you again Emery, we must catch up later. I'd grab us some tea now, but they're running a very tight ship." He let out an annoying fake laugh that made my ears ring in pain. I think I preferred evil Rohm to suck up Rohm. Mean I could deal with, eyeball gouging behaviour I couldn't.

"Now which one, the pink or the black?" He held up two dresses, one pink and puffy, the other plain and demure.

"I like the pink," Haymitch said with a snigger. I resisted the urge to punch him.

"Black please," I said, snatching it off Rohm and running into the bathroom to change. Once I was done, they did my hair and make up while the new guy stood back and watched, studying my face. I tried to stare him out but I felt unusually shy and intimidated by this man. So instead I stared down at my lap and listened to my prep teams mindless babble.

Once they had done my make up, Rohm took out something that looked like furry caterpillars and held them up to my eye.

"Woah, no chance," I said, backing away. I'd never wear fake eyelashes, they looked ridiculous.

"They really make the dress pop," he argued.

"Over my vision and my popping dress, I'd go for vision. And you still haven't given me any contacts," I said. I heard my tone and hung my head. Thor would be scolding me now, calling me a brat. I couldn't help but smile sadly.

"I think the eyelashes should be Vetoed and replaced with this," the new guy said, taking a diamond necklace out of a box. It was nice, but not too underwhelming to make the bling king Rohm throw a tantrum.

"Yes that's perfect," Rohm said, fixing it to my neck. "Let's go, chop chop."

I mouthed a thank you to the man before I was dragged out the room and back down the stairs.

"Now Emery, this is the part where you make your speech, I expect you're prepared?" Effie said, appearing from no where.

"Effie!" I exclaimed pulling her into a hug. "Where have you been?"

"Planning your ball in the Capitol, it's causing quite the buzz, one of the biggest I've seen."

I groaned again. We had reached the front door now, I could hear the mayor giving a little welcoming speech. I tried to prep myself but it was useless. All too soon I was pushed out into the cold on to the stage, fronting a crowd of about 1000 people.

I tittered slowly up to the microphone, cursing Rohm for giving me huge heels. "Hi," I said, exhaling slowly. "I've never really been great at speeches in front of crowds. Normally I can talk the hind legs of a donkey but... Yeah."

The crowds expressions still remained emotionless. I found a spot on the top corner of a building and focused on it.

"I'm sad to say that I never really knew any of your tributes, but if they were like the people I met today, I'm sure they were lovely. In my time as a victor, I have learned so much about myself and dealing with hardships.

Sure, it was awful that they died so young but there is nothing you can do to change it. We need to just move on and deal with problems as they come. Should we forget these hard times, no because they shape us. We can learn from them and build on it.

In such an agricultural thriving district as this, I am sure you can agree with this statement. Be it applied to the games or everyday life. Thank you for having me here."

I cringed as I walked over to my seat. Haymitch sat next to me, struggling to hold back a laugh. I had gone completely off topic but at least I did it.

"Was it really that bad?" I whispered.

He shrugged. "You've still got ten more to get it right."

:-:

District 4 could not come quick enough. After eight speeches, parties and district tours I had enough. All I wanted was to chill out with my friends and sleep in until noon. I couldn't have the sleep but at least Finn would be here to make it all a bit more bearable.

He was waiting for us on the platform as we pulled into the station. I didn't have to fake my excitement to see him. As soon as we pulled to a stop I jumped off the train and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"Gosh I've missed you," I mumbled into his chest.

"You too Em. Your hairs looking neat," he said playing with the ends lightly.

"Yours too." It had grown out a bit since the last time I saw him, giving him a more boyish and carefree look.

"There's been a change of plan," Finnick said as Haymitch and Effie joined us. "I'm to take Em to the victors village for an hour while the rest of you go to the mayors house."

"Why?" Effie asked. "We're under a tight schedule."

Finn shrugged. "Snow's orders."

Now it made sense. We would be alone, creating the buzz of a relationship. Not in the open, but the mystery was there. I hated Snow, but he sure as hell knew what he was doing.

Finnick held my hand as we walked down the road, a couple of stay photographers trying to subtly follow us. It was a lot warmer here than at the other districts so I loosened my scarf and undid my coat.

"Any news?" I asked. "Been to the Capitol lately?"

Finnick cringed. "Unfortunately yes, but at least my little 'meetings' are less public now. How about you, any more meltdowns?" he asked with a playful smile.

"I almost threw my drink over Joanna Mason the other night, does that count?"

He nodded seriously. "Yes, I think you can add that account to your crazy chart."

I nudged him in the ribs. It wasn't actually my fault. Joanna was being her usual snarky self. I was sleep deprived, stressed out. Anyone in my position would have lost it.

The walk to the victors village was relatively short. Only after about five minutes of walking, the houses came to view.

Where our victors homes were called 'town houses' these houses were a lot wider and brighter, panelled with painted wood, complete with front porches.

"Wow, your houses are so nice," I said sincerely. Their village was a lot less dreary than ours, though that may be because we only had two occupants.

"Thanks, behind the houses on the south side, we have our own private beach. My back porch actually looks out onto the sea," he told me, pointing over to a bright house with shells and rope decorations hanging outside the windows.

"Really?" I asked excitedly. I had never seen the sea before, not properly anyway. This was one of the few things I was actually looking forward to on my victor tour.

"Come on, I'll show you."

Finn took my hand and led me into his home. It was bright inside, everything was made of wood and the few furnishings that wasn't were pastel colors.

"Finnick, is that you?" a deep voice sounded from the far room. I froze, I didn't realise there would be other people here.

"Yeah Dad, it's me," Finnick called back. There were footsteps before a door opened to reveal Finnick's father. He was quite tall, like his son, and had white, wispy hair. His eyes, which looked tired and sad, widened when they saw me.

I smiled at him kindly. "It's nice to meet you sir."

He smiled back at me wearily before turning back to Finnick questionably.

"Oh right, this is Emery Abernathy," he explained. "She won the games this year and she's my... Girlfriend."

If his Dad picked up on the hesitation in Finn's voice he chose to ignore it. "Girlfriend? What happened to that Cresta-"

"Annie's just a friend dad," Finnick said quickly. "I'm just going to show Emery the sea, we won't be too long."

He grabbed my hand again and all but dragged me out the back door. I was about to protest but the sight of the waves crashing against the shore had me speechless. I closed my eyes and listened to its steady rhythm, letting the sea breeze blow into my hair.

"This is so cool," I said, edging closer to the waters edge.

"It's a shame it's so cold, otherwise we could go in."

"Another reason to hate the victory tour," I muttered.

Finn laughed. "One day, we'll do it... Somehow. I'm learning how to surf too, I'd like to see you attempt that."

"What's surf?" I asked, sitting down on the steps of the back porch.

"There's a board and you have to stand up on it while riding the waves," he explained, using his hands to demonstrate. "You'd fall off in the first second."

"I'm not even going to disagree with you," I laughed.

I looked into the house and saw Finnick's dad at the kitchen sink, pretending not to look out at us.

"Hey Finn, why'd you tell your dad that I was your girlfriend?" I asked.

He looked down at his lap. "The less my dad knows the better. But he's not an idiot, I know that."

"Like with you and Annie Cresta?" I asked with a smile. His head shot up immediately.

"W-what? H-how did you-?"

"Your dad mentioned Cresta and I put two and two together. She is a victor here after all. And I remember your meltdown in the taxi at the Capitol where you were all "I love her but she doesn't return my feelings" crap."

He mouth gapped open before he smiled. "You remember that?"

"Yeah, it was really weird, hard to forget," I said monotonously.

He elbowed me in the ribs. "Hey, don't be cheeky fake girlfriend or I'll dump your ass." He stood up and brushed himself down. "You want any snacks, energy drink?"

I frowned at him. "Are you still drinking that crap?"

He looked down shamefully. "I have an addiction, I think it's the sugar."

I stood up with him and followed him into the kitchen. "You know how many chemicals are in that stuff. They're probably more harmful. You may as well just take a spoonful of sugar a day."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said, cracking open a can.

I ran across the room and snatched it from him. "No! Here, have... This," I said, picking up a sugar cube from a bowl.

He looked at his distastefully before taking it off me and popping it into his mouth.

"A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way," I sang with a grin.

Finn rolled his eyes then grabbed his coat. "Come on Mary Poppins, we've got a dinner to attend."

* * *

><p><strong>I am ridiculously sorry that I haven't updated this story in so long. I tried to do a brief summary of what happened but please feel free to go back and read it again. <strong>

**There have been a million things going on in my life. I got a job then got fired then got another one, ive had a lot of school work, friend drama which turned into boy drama which turned back into friend drama. I really was not in the right frame of mind to write. I could've forced myself to write but then it just would have been garbage. **

**But I'm back now with my writers mojo, this chapter only took be a few hours to write. I tried really hard but I COULDNOT write the play, it was just not flowing.**

**I'm so sorry I took so long, it's really inexcusable and it won't happen again. Thank you for still sticking around. Please review and let me know what you think : )**


	27. The Return to the Capitol

_All they do is piss and moan_  
><em>Inside the Rolling Stone<em>  
><em>Talkin about how hard life can be<em>  
><em>I'd like to see them spend a week<em>  
><em>Livin' life out on the street<em>  
><em>- Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous, Good Charlotte<em>

* * *

><p>To say the next few days were awful would be an understatement. Although Finn was there, It was still very uncomfortable since I had both their tributes; Ethos and Hydra. I had killed three's tribute on the first night followed by twos boy the next morning. And then there was Nik...<p>

There was something awkward in the air of their pretty little district. I was the girl that had killed their champion, I had embarrassed and stolen from them.

Cashmere was okay with me but that was only because I had a letter for her from Darius. The other victors were polite, but very frosty. There were no hugs or jokes exchanged here. Even though I did almost throw a drink on her, Joanna Mason did offer to show me some furniture she had carved.  
>Haymitch said that it would all blow over, but I wasn't really bothered. Being friends with a bunch of snotty people from one was hardly a priority of mine.<p>

"Okay, Emery, you're looking fabulous," Rohm said, straightening out my white fury coat. "Last one now, knock them dead."

The doors opened and I walked out onto stage for the eleventh time. Even in my coat, I felt chilly. At the other districts the audience looked bored, but these people looked angry.

I didn't know why they felt the right to be pissed. There were no underfed children here, no tattered clothes, no lice jumping out of hair, no old people begging on the streets. They were like spoilt children. I'd love to see them last a week in Twelve or Eleven. I pursed my lips at their ridiculousness and walked over to the microphone.

"Good afternoon," I began. "And thank you for having me in your lovely district. It's been so nice to come to such a thriving place and see your pretty town. It's great to be able to relax and admire after such a trying time with the games."

Someone in the crowd scoffed. "Yes, it must have been really difficult for the innocent little bitch to kill one of our own," they whispered to their friend.  
>It was quiet, not many people would have heard it, but I did. And I snapped.<p>

"Yes, ok, I did kill Nik. I killed a few people, and they in turn also killed. As did these," I said, gesturing to the rows of victors behind me.  
>"You are NOT the only district to lose a tribute. In fact, you've won more times than anyone else. I've been treated like crap all day. You all stand there in your nice clothes with your fully bellies judging me? Trust me, I've been around the country all week and you are not hard done by." I wanted to stop. I knew I was digging myself into a huge hole but I couldn't stop myself.<p>

"Nik came at me on several occasions and tried to do a lot more than kill me. And you know what, if he came at me again, I would kill that bastard it a heart beat." I straightened up triumphantly and smiled at them insincerely.

"Thank you for having me in your district you stuck up bitches." I gave the crowd a salute before stomping off stage and back inside. Every thing behind me was silent, but I was too angry to care.  
>I stormed upstairs up to the room we had prepared in and flopped onto the sofa. Maybe I had over reacted, but people needed to see my point of view.<p>

The people of one had everything and there they were moaning about ONE tribute. Yes it was a shame but twelve, and the other outlines had lost two a year since the games began, with the occasional exception of course.

As I calmed down, I began to regret my out burst. It had been shown live on TV. Snow would have a field day when he saw me. There was no getting out of this one.  
>The door knocked, interrupting me of my thoughts. "Yeah?"<p>

The door creeped open and Haymitch popped his head around. "How you doing sweetheart?"  
>"Been better, what's everyone said?" I asked timidly.<p>

"Nothing really, just an awkward silence." He walked across the room and sat down beside me. "Listen Kid, whatever happens I just want you to know that I'm proud of you."  
>"Wait, what?" I asked, my head shooting up.<p>

Haymitch gave a rare genuine smile, showing the tops of his rotting gums. "They had it coming if you asked me. A similar thing happened to me. It was the district one girl I killed with the axe in the final two. I got shit for it, but I didn't have the guts to say anything. You may have gone slightly overboard but I bet there's millions of people across the country giving you a cheer."

"Seriously?" I smiled. He nodded and squeezed my hand before standing up. Loving moment over.  
>"Ugh, I don't want to go back out there," I groaned.<p>

Haymitch shrugged. "Then don't. They want to take you down the diamond mines anyway and I know you how much you hate that. Let's just go straight to the Capitol. Have some fun, drink some wine."  
>"Are we allowed to do that." Surely skipping part of your victor tour was against the rules.<br>He smiled wickedly. "Whose going to stop us."

:-;

The train driver unfortunately wouldn't leave without everyone on board, as much as we tried. The plan was to ditch Rohm and maybe Effie too, and head straight the the Capitol. I didn't exactly like the place but it was better than sticking around in one.

Only after the luncheon did Effie and Co make an appearance on the train.  
>"What are you two doing?" Effie cried. "We have a schedule, commitments."<br>Haymitch scoffed. "Effie, my dear, I'm sorry but we're off. Little one over there's in charge and she wants to go to the Capitol early."

"Early?" she questioned.  
>"Yes, imagine how good you'd look being ahead of schedule," I reasoned.<br>She paced the compartment, steam practically coming out of her ears. "But what about the trip to the mine."

"It's nothing I haven't seen before," I said bluntly. "I'm sorry Effie but there's no way I'm getting off this train, so we may as well leave."

I stormed away to my room and not five minutes later, the train slowly started moving. Round one to Emery and Haymitch.

It took not three hours to get to the Capitol. It was getting dark and thankfully no photographers were waiting for us thanks to our quick departure.

We took a cab to the training centre, something Effie was not happy about. As soon as we got into our apartment in the training centre, she called up the offices and let them know of our arrival. I wasn't too please about this but it was best not to anger her further.

Once she had finished her call, I claimed I was tired and went to bed. I needed my rest before the god awful interview tomorrow.

Rohm arrived early to do my hair and makeup. For once his idle chat was actually interesting.  
>"Thankfully, there was a technical error during your outburst yesterday so it wasn't shown on television. How lucky is that?"<p>

Yes, very lucky indeed. I was kind of glad. Sure, Snow would be angry, but at least he wouldn't have to get revenge because I had damaged the perfect Victor image.  
>Once I was dressed in a long green gown, Effie escorted me outside where a stage had been erected in city circle.<p>

"You know the drill my dear," she tittered on as we walked into the cold. "Smile and look pretty, everyone is here to see you. Please keep calm and remember your manners." She gave me one last smile before leaving me at side stage.

I snuck a peek through the curtain and saw Caesar Flickerman warming up the crowd. There was a lot of people out there, just as many as the tribute interviews. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the task. Be charming, cute, vague with answers.

"And without further ado, please welcome our Victor Emery Abernathy!" Caesar called. The crowd erupted into cheers as I walked out and sat down on the chair next to Caesar.  
>"Hello," I grinned at him kindly. "How are you?"<p>

"I'm fine, my lovely girl. How are you?"  
>"I'm great, it's been quite a fortnight."<p>

I went into detail about the victory tour and how much I loved the districts. Caesar made jokes, the audience laughed, I bartered back. It was all going to plan. Then at the end of the interview, he asked the question I had been anticipating all morning.

"So Miss Abernathy, you may not know this but we here at the Capitol have been dying." I looked at him puzzled.

"We have been dying to know what is going on with you and Finnick Odair."  
>The crowd, mainly the women, cheered and screamed hysterically. I smiled shyly as I did before.<br>"We're just friends."

"Oh Emery, please don't give us that," Caesar laughed. "You've kissed, he's visited you in your district, you've been to him. You were at his house for a few hours if my sources are correct."  
>I didn't have to fake the blush that rose to my cheeks as the cat calls echoed throughout the square. But my embarrassment just added more fuel to the fire.<p>

"Finnick is very important to me and I care for him deeply, he's one of my best friends," I defended. And it was actually the truth. But tonight at the ball, the whole dating rouse would begin.

For some reason, I was really bothered what the people in Twelve would think. And by people, I meant Gale. I would be teased even more for being shallow. And though nothing had transpired between us and he was just my old mentor. There was still that unfinished spark of what could have been between us.  
>As soon as I stepped off the stage, I was bombarded by the man I dreaded to see.<p>

"Miss Abernathy, I am Richard Small. Assistant-"  
>"To the President, I know," I commented dully.<p>

Mr Small tutted his teeth. "If you follow me then please."

I hung my head as I followed him through various secret corridors to get to the Presidents Mansion from the training centre, all the while thinking of horrible scenarios.

I had no idea what he wanted. Was it to reprimand me for my outburst in one, scold me for teaching the kids in the play how to fight or shoot arrows, I had no idea. But each one of my imaginary punishments got worse and worse.

All too soon we arrive at Snow's office. He called me in before I had even knocked, something that unnerved me even more.

"Welcome back Miss Abernathy, I hope your tour served you well," he said, as I sat down opposite his desk. I just smiled and nodded in response.

"I'd also like to congratulate you on your little play. The citizens here loved it, you're even more popular than before." He looked up at me slyly. "Any change of heart on the courtesan front."

I pursed my lips and shook my head slowly. "Nope, sorry," I said, not breaking eye contact.  
>Snow laughed humourlessly. "It's only a matter of time. Now, you know the plan for this evening?"<br>I shook my head. "Not in detail."

"None is needed. You and Odair sneak away, and be found in a compromising position by a reporter. It's easy enough, they'll be tailing you all evening."

I nodded. "Is that all?"  
>He leant towards me sternly, the smell of blood choking my throat the closer he got. "That is all, but you know what happens if you mess this up."<p>

I smiled triumphantly. "But I have no-"

"Friends?" he offered. "Tell that to your friends at that illegal trading dump, or the dress maker." I could feel my heart pounding in my chest the more he spoke. "Or the baker boy." I almost fainted. "You're very easy to track Abernathy. You'll put on a good performance tonight, yes?"  
>I nodded dutily. "Good girl. You are dismissed."<p>

I couldn't get out of there quick enough. Despite my efforts, he still knew. I must have spent too much time at the bakery or helped Clary in public more than I realised.  
>This fake dating just got serious. If I made a mistake tonight, then someone would pay. I didn't doubt Snow for a second.<p>

:-:

"May I cut in?" Finnick asked the old guy who was dancing with me. He looked dejected, but handed me over to my friend right away.

"Thank you," I said breathlessly. The guy was really freaking me out. He smelt like cheese and kept squeezing my waist at every change of tempo.

"It's show time," Finnick said quietly. "When I pull you away, smile and giggle, but don't draw too much attention to yourself."

"But I thought we were supposed to-"  
>"You're the guest of honour. All eyes are on you any way," he said. As the music slowed he pulled me closer and put his lips near my ear.<p>

"There's a closet near the entrance hall. We'll go in there. A waiters been told to tell the reporters where we've gone if they ask."

"Ok..." I whispered taking it all in.

"Hey Em," Finnick said, knocking my chin up with his finger. "It'll be fine. Now come on."  
>With a look over his shoulder he took my hand and led me out the room. Once we were outside, we practically ran to the closet. It held various mops and vacuums, but it was just big enough to fit us in. It was very cosy, but I think that was Finn's idea.<p>

"Let's get to work," he said, loosening his tie and undoing a few buttons. I ruffled up his hair then untucked a few strands of my own.

"Your lipstick, here," he said, smudging it slightly then rubbing the excess on his lips, giving them a red tinge.

I had to smile, despite everything. "Why are you do good at this?"  
>He smiled, his eyebrows creasing. "I actually don't know... it's worrying. Here." He pulled down one of the straps of my dress so it fell passed my shoulder.<p>

"It'll be ok Em," he said, squeezing my hand lightly. "Just a kiss, we've done it before."  
>"Against my will," I joked, but there was little humour in my words.<br>"You loved it really."

Footsteps echoed across the hall outside.  
>"Ready?" he asked, breathlessly. I nodded.<p>

Finn put his hand at the back of my neck and pulled me closer, crashing his lips against mine. For a second I was shocked but then I relaxed into it, trying to get into the mind set of a young victor in love with her handsome boyfriend.

I put my hands on his shoulders and tip toed closer to him, closing my eyes in process. Not that I had much to compare it with, but he was a good kisser. My stomach churned with excitement as his hand slipped down the cold skin on my back.

My lips seemed to have a mind of their own as he opened our mouths to deepen the kiss. My right hand found itself tangled into his hair as the door swung open.

"Oh my God!" an annoying Capitol accent echoed throughout the hall. We broke apart just as a photographer came out of no where and took a picture of our shocked faces. I looked at her wide eyed then to the photograph, then to Finn who was looking down at his shoes. Our hands had somehow became entwined throughout the reveal.

"Sorry to entrude," she squeaked, a huge smile on her face. She had just landed the biggest story of the year. No doubt that by the end of the week, she'd have enough money to retire on.  
>The photographer took one last photo before the door was shut on us.<p>

Finnick let out an embarressed laugh. "That went well."  
>"Yup," I said awkwardly. "That was..."<p>

"Strange," he answered. I looked up at him in confusion. "A good strange," he corrected. "Don't get me wrong, you're a pretty girl but I'm not attracted to you, but that..."

"I know," I said, just as confused as before. "I didn't expect to get so into it."  
>Finnick looked down at me and smile. "You know, just because we're being made to do this, doesn't mean we can't enjoy it."<p>

"You're right. We can be platonic friends, and do this in the public eye with no awkwardness whatsoever. Deal?" I said, holding my hand out to him. He shook it firmly.  
>"Deal."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I was quick again haha This chapter was actually surprisingly difficult to write. I think it's just because I really want to get to the next chapter which is going to be set a few months after this. There will be summer, a hunt, and maybe a return to the woods...<strong>  
><strong>Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I'm surprised there's still people reading after my long league of absence. If you're an old reviewer, please let me know if you're still here.<strong>  
><strong>Thanks to everyone who reviewed, Ally, Lucy, Kai, smileykat14, hunger games hungry and ShortySC22.<strong>  
><strong>Sorry for a sucky chapter but it was really needed for the plot. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think : )<strong>


	28. (what) The Hell was Going on with Gale

So we struggling, fighting to eat  
>and we wondering, when we'll be free<p>

But it's my home, all I have known,  
>where I got grown, streets we would roam<p>

Out of the darkness, I came the farthest  
>out of the hardest survival<br>Learn from these streets, it can be bleak,  
>accept no defeat, surrender retreat<p>

- Waving' Flag, K'naan

* * *

><p>"I can't believe how hot it is," Madge said, stretching out on her sun lounger.<p>

"I know," I sighed, turning over so my face was now catching the sun. "I hope I can get a tan." I could see Runt out the corner of my eye sleeping peacefully near my feet. I smiled to myself.

It had been five months since my Victory Tour and quite a lot had happened. News of Finnick and mine's relationship spread like wildfire. It was in every Capitol magazine for weeks.

My first day of school after the Victory Tour was the most awkward day of my life so far. As soon as I walked into math, Miss Dragg zoned in on me. Thankfully, the class was fairly empty, but that still didn't stop my embarrassment.

_"Oh Miss Abernathy, I saw your pictures in the magazine," she giggled. She was a stone hearted bitch but as soon as it came to gossip she turned into a Capitol school girl._

_"Yes, I had a good time," I mumbled, sitting at my desk._

_"And there was some photos of you at the ball..." she sang, fishing throughout he bag. I just smiled and prayed she wouldn't blurt it out as more people filed into the room and took their seats, staring at me questionably._

_As soon as the ball was over I took off home, so no one knew about my 'relationship' with Finnick yet. I thought I'd be able to evade the questions and snarky remarks for a week, but by the looks of things I'd barely be able to make it two days gossip free._

_The class seemed to ignore our exchange and returned to their own conversations as Miss Dragg continued to look through her bag._

_I rolled my eyes and started mindlessly doodling on my notebook. I don't know why I even bothered to come to school if Dragg was in this mood. Math was the only lesson I actually enjoyed and if the teacher wasn't going to teach, then there was no point in being here._

_The chair next to me scrapped along the floor. I looked up and saw Gale sliding into his usual seat beside me._

_"Morning," he said gruffly.  
><em>_I couldn't help but smile. "Hello," I said, cheerily. "Anything exciting in the district happen in my absence?"_

_"This is twelve, nothing happens," he said with a shrug. The corner of his lips turned up in a half smile as he turned to face me. "Although, there was something on TV..."_

_My stomach churned. "What?" I asked quickly.  
><em>_"I had a feeling we weren't supposed to see it, it shut off pretty quickly but they showed a few seconds of your speech from one... Well done," he appraised with his signature smirk._

_My eyebrows flurried in confusion. "Well done?"  
><em>_"Yeah, my favourite part was when you called them all 'stuck up bitches'," he snorted. I could help but smile along with him._

_"Don't remind me, did they show why I did it?"_

_He shook his head. "No, I just saw the end where you stormed off stage. And even though you were being a spoilt princess, I'm impressed."_

_A stupid grin appeared on my face; I did my best to wipe it off. "Impressed? I stole from the Capitol and sold to the poor, won the Hunger Games, put on a play with helpless twelve year olds, and only now you're impressed?" I joked._

_He smiled slightly, though it was more of a grimace. "As much as I don't like to admit, I was impressed the first time we met. I seem to remember you floored me."_

_I laughed, but was interrupted by Miss Dragg waving a magazine in the air. "I've got it! Here front page news, Emery Abernathy and Finnick Odair go public," she said, slapping it on the desk in front of me, the picture of Finn and I kissing blazing in my face._

_I could feel the colour drain from me, as members of the class gathered around to have a look. The girls giggled, the boys wolf whistled and Gale remained beside me in silence, his fist clenched at his side._

And that was the last time we spoke. We were finally on the right track again and then kaboom, we were back to the beginning.

We sat next to each other every day in silence, only conversing when working on a pair assignment.

I don't know why he was upset but I had spent way too much time trying to figure out Gale Hawthorne and his PMS ways. It was best to just forget about him and think about the sun that was tanning my stomach nicely.

"I feel uncomfortable here," Madge said, looking around the meadow in the Seam where we lay.

"It's fine," I shrugged. I'd rather lie half naked in public then in my garden back home. I felt as though I couldn't even sneeze without it getting back to Snow. He knew about my friendship with Peeta, having a gossip at home with Madge wouldn't do anyone any good.

"I don't understand how you can lie in public dressed like that," she said, half criticising, half in awe. I had taken my tshirt off so I was only laying in my shorts and a bandeau. Madge seemed to disapprove but in my defence, I was due back at the Capitol in less than 6 weeks. Dodgy tan lines would not do.

"If anyone comes just tell me," I told her.  
>"Or we could just go to one of our-"<p>

"Nope," I said, cutting her off with a grin. "Come on, you have to admit, it's nice here."

I loved the meadow in the Seam ever since I was a kid. There was only one place in the district that rivalled it. But that place was in the woods, and I had no idea where to find it. If Gale and I were on speaking terms, I'd probably ask him to take me to the lake where he'd taught me to swim. But we weren't, and I doubted I'd ever see it again.

"Its a shame Peeta's working," Madge said, though the relaxed tone of her voice told me she wasn't too worried.  
>"Peeta's always working," I huffed. "We may have to spring him one day."<p>

"Good luck with that," Madge scoffed.  
>I leant up on my arm to face her and pouted. "What's that supposed to mean, his family love me. Especially the mother."<p>

"And Bannock, you too have a lovely bond," Madge joked, reminiscing about Peeta's brother who seemed to have an immediate hate for me from the word go.

"Wouldn't surprise me if a proposal's on the cards." I lay back down and put my hat back on, shoving all my stray hairs into it, though they fell down into my face immediately after.

I closed my eyes and let the heat warm my face, but after a few minutes I was cast in shadow.

I opened my eyes and saw Gale Hawthorne standing above me looking pretty pissed off.

"Just leave it Gale," I heard Katniss grumble in the background.  
>"Leave what?" I asked sitting up. Madge rolled up too and smiled shyly at Gale.<p>

"The districts in desperation and you're just sitting here, not a care in the world," he mumbled, glaring at me. It was the same look he had in his eyes when he was moaning about the Capitol; he thought me one of them.

I stood up immediately and narrowed his eyes at him. "What do you mean desperation?" I was pretty sure he was exaggerating, but I had to be certain.

"The food parcel hasn't been delivered, there's some kind of trouble with the train. I thought you would have done something about it, it being the last parcel before the games. I can't believe-"

"It hasn't been delivered?" I asked numbly, but I had heard him clearly the first time.  
>"Like you didn't know," he mumbled.<p>

"I didn't," I defended. "And I don't know why you're getting all crabby with me!"

I was angry, but it wasn't 100% directed at Gale. Snow taking things out on me was bad enough, but when he was messing with my starving district, that really was crossing the line. A lot of people depended on the monthly parcel, and now they would go without food.

I flopped backdown on to my lounger, the anger making me unable to speak. I had to somehow make this right, but I knew that giving out money would only piss Snow off more. That was against the rules, but there had to be someway of anonymously helping people without getting into too much trouble.

"Well... I'm going to go," Gale said awkwardly. "I'll see you around."

"Wait," I called, running to catch up with him. "I have an idea." Runt woke up with a start and ran straight to Gale, jumping up around his legs.

He stopped to stroke him then turned around to face me. I suddenly became aware that I was wearing nothing but a pair of tiny shorts and a bandeau. I blushed, but then looked up defiantly at him.

"I'll need your help though, both of you," I called to Katniss. "And any one else you know who can hunt."  
>"Hunt?" Katniss asked, walking over. "There's no one I really-"<p>

"There's a guy I know from school," Gale cut in. "But why do you need us."

I took a deep breath, then called Madge over to our little circle. She jogged over, my tshirt in hand.

One I was a little more covered up, I told them my stupid plan. "Ok so I was thinking that a few of us go into the woods to hunt, while Madge sets up at the hob and Peeta makes buns. We can give the hungry people from the Seam sandwiches."

The three of them narrowed their eyes at me.

"You're going out of the boundaries?"  
>"Free game?"<br>"We'll use up all the grain for the month on the buns."

I held my hands up to quieten them. "I'll pay Peeta and get new grain shipped in."

"But what about the train rails?" Madge asked cluelessly.

"I can guarantee that there is nothing wrong with the rails," I said boldly, watching this information sink in to Gale and Katniss. "And I won't get it off the official sources either."

I doubted they'd give me any. My plan was to get Rocky from the bar to help me out with the grain replacement. He was rich and well connected; I was sure he could do it.

"So we're just supposed to go and hunt, and give away the game for free?" Katniss asked skeptically. I glanced at Gale and saw that he too didn't look too convinced. It would be a lie to say I wasn't disappointed, but I smiled and shrugged all the same.

"If you don't want to do it, that's cool, I'll go by myself."

"You're not going in there by yourself," Gale said quickly. "Why can't you just give out money?"

"It's against the rules, and I don't really fancy another secret handout," I said.  
>I looked at both of them expectantly. "So are you in or out?"<p>

They both looked at each other. I could see in his eyes that I had cracked Gale but whether or not he would do it without Katniss was the question.

"Katnip?" He asked. Just when I was about the question the strange nickname, she spoke.

"Even though there's no way we'll get food for everyone, I'll do it. They need our help. But only for a little while," Katniss agreed.  
>"That's all I ask for," I said with a grin.<p>

"So you guys go find your friend, I'll go to Peeta and Madge can drop Runt home and help set up the hob; explain to Sae, she'll help."

Gale picked up the yapping Runt and scratched his ears. "Can't he come too?"

"That dog can't even catch his own tail, never mind any game. He'd just scare everything off."

Gale looked disappointed but place Runt back on the floor. Even if he hadn't realised it, Gale had developed a cute attachment to the little dog.

"Do you have a weapon?" Katniss asked, narrowing her eyes.

I nodded and pulled out my belt from my back which had three knives hanging inside. I quickly stashed them back in my bag as they stared on bewildered.

"You carry those around with you?" Katniss asked.  
>"I'm paranoid," I said simply. I wasn't half as bad as Haymitch who slept with a knife in hand, but now wasn't the time to get into that.<p>

"So we'll meet back here in ten?"

I jogged to the bakery where Peeta and his dad were working on the till. It took a lot of persuading and a big chunk of money, but they promised to help out under the condition that the new grain got here in a week and that I wouldn't tell Mrs Mellark about the excessive baking. Like I would ever tell that old witch.

There was still a lot of time left, so I walked slowly back to the meadow, lighting a cigarette up for the first time in months. I blamed the stress.

I had no idea why I was doing this. Maybe it was that I had a point to prove, or maybe it was a bribe to get people to like me. I may act tough, but it didn't sit well with me being disliked by most people, especially Gale.

We both arrived at the Meadow at the same time. I knew the boy they had brought with them, I had seen him in school. Thom was his name. He was very tall and had a very cheeky smile on his face as he sauntered up to me.

"I heard you needed my services," he said dramatically. Something about his mannerisms reminded me of Finn. I liked him instantly.

"The more the merrier, but we need to get cracking," I said, awkwardly. Normally I was good at taking charge. But bossing around three hunters who knew more than me didn't really seem fair.

"Where will we go to get the best chance of getting a deer or something of a similar size?"

Katniss snorted. "We've only ever caught a deer twice, odds are its not going to happen today."

"Well we can at least try," I said, trying not to sound to snarky. The girl knew what she was doing and I didn't want to offend her. She was too headstrong for her own good but I needed her help.

Gale led the way as we walked to the fence and into the forest. Katniss remained a few paces behind as Thom and I trailed at the back, he firing questions about the Capitol.  
>Normally people from the Seam hated hearing things about our superiors but Thom found the whole thing hilarious.<p>

"They have sidewalks that move, so they don't have to walk?" he asked.  
>I nodded with a small smile. "Yup, it's ridiculous."<p>

"I'll say, lazy bastards," he laughed. "Are they all insane."

"99% of them. You've seen Effie Trinket, they're all just like her. There is the occasional normal person, like my friend Rocky and Finnick, but he doesn't really count," I explained.

Thom wolf whistled. "Oh yes your lover boy. Caught getting it on in a closet."

He was only joking, but it still annoyed me. "No, we weren't." I wasn't in the Capitol anymore, I didn't have to blush and giggle. I could defend myself. And yeah, I did kind of like the kiss, but we weren't together, not properly. And here at home I shouldn't have to pretend to be someone I'm not.

"Touchy, trouble in -"

"You two be quiet," Gale scolded. "We're not going to catch anything if you're stomping around."  
>"Sorry mother," Thom muttered. I had to smile.<p>

I took out my own knives as Katniss and Gale retrieved their bows and arrows from a tree trunk. Thom had about ten knives slotted into his large jacket. His put my small collection to shame.

"I'd say to check the snares but we were only out here this morning," Gale told us. "So it's just gonna be hunting."

We walked around for a few minutes as quiet as possible, trying to deem where the best place to go would be. I noticed that Katniss seemed a lot more happier here, even if we were in silence. It was the first time I had seem her smile properly. The woods here did that to a person.

I gripped my knife in my hand, ready to strike if the opportunity arose. It did. As we neared a clearing, a squirrel coming out of his tree caught my eye. Without thinking, I flung my knife at him. My aim was way off and I missed him by about six inches.

Katniss easily shot the guy in the eye then sauntered over to collect her kill. I followed shamefully behind to retrieve my knife from the tree.

I could feel my cheeks turning pink as the three of them looked at me pitifully. "Cut me some slack, I haven't thrown a knife in almost a year," I defended, holding it tightly in my hand.

Katniss rolled her eyes and continued walking.

After half an hour, Katniss had shot two birds, Gale a squirrel and Thom a badger. They were becoming restless at the lack of game and wanted to turn back. I refused to return with just five small animals, that would just about feed two families.

Besides, I had organised this little expedition, I had to catch something.

"Can we head back now, I'm bored," Thom whined.

"No," I said, crouching down to the floor, desperately looking for some kind of animal tracks, but the hot weather had dried up all the soil. I studied the ground and surrounding trees carefully until I came to a trunk which bark had been rubbed bare near the bottom.

"Is there wild boar around here?" I asked excitedly.  
>"I think I saw one once," Gale said. "Why?"<p>

I pointed to the base of the tree. "Only a boar or something similar could've done that. They travel in herds of ten to twenty as well. If we find them, we're done!"

Katniss scoffed. "Sorry but what makes you think we'll find them. You've been with us all morning, there's nothing around."

"Yeah, the hot weathers sent them all off," Thom said, flapping the collar of his jacket to get some air.

Then it clicked. I looked up and saw Gale smiling too. "The lake!" we said simultaneously.

"Lake?"

"There's a lake. It's hot, they'll have gone for a cool down. It's only a few minutes walk from here too," Gale explained, looking the happiest I'd seen him in a long while.

"Wait, how do you know about the lake?" Katniss asked, looking to Gale.  
>"I found it, how do you?" he responded.<p>

"My dad showed it me," she mumbled. "How does Emery know?"  
>I pursed my lips awkwardly. "That is not important," I said, sneaking a sly look at Gale. "We should get going."<p>

I raced off in the direction of the lake. I knew exactly where it was, even though it had been a while. The lake was the last time I had real fun before the games. It was where Gale and I almost kissed. I had been so light headed around him afterwards, it was a surprise to think I had once thought about him in that way. But I supposed the games changes you in more ways than one. And a fantasy romance with your handsome math partner seemed less important now.

It took everything in me not to grin smugly at Katniss when saw seven boars bathing in the shallow ends of the lake. We stayed hidden amongst the trees as we discussed a plan of action.

"Charge and hope for the best?" Thom offered.  
>"We need to think of something more strategic," Gale said.<p>

Katniss shook her head. "It's too hot Gale, we could be here all day thinking of a plan. There's four of us, let's just go for it. Emery?"

I was quite surprised that she was asking for my opinion but I nodded quickly. She was right. And to be quite honest I was bored of trekking around the woods, I just wanted it to be over and done with.

"On three then," Thom instructed. "One, two, three."

I jumped out of the trees and immediately threw one knife at a baby boar who was resting by the edge if the waters. It hit the poor guy in the back of the neck, killing him instantly.

The other boars began to run away as members of their herd dropped to the floor.

They scattered in all directions, desperately trying evade the hunters but they were just sitting ducks.

With a blink of my eye I was in the arena again. Running away from the Careers at the cornucopia. The untrained tributes tried to fight, the smart ones tried to out run, but they were no match for the skilled killers. They were massacred on to spot, uncaringly. It was just a means of survival.

:-:

"Emery?" A familiar male voice hesitantly asked.  
>My eyes fluttered open only to be blinded by light. Once they had focused I saw that I was in the bakery, with Peeta and Madge hovering over me.<p>

"What happened?" I groaned, sitting up. A pain shot through the back of my skull. I gritted my teeth and winced.

"I'm not really sure. They said you just blacked out and hit your head," Madge explained. "They brought you here, took the bread then left."  
>"They just left?!" I asked, completely forgetting about my injury. "They dumped me here then left?"<p>

"They wanted to stay but they had to give out the food," Peeta explained.

Well this blowed. I had organised the little giveaway, spent the day hunting, having a meltdown blackout in the process, and they got all the credit. I couldn't catch a break.

Against Madge and Peeta's concerns, I collected my few things and began to walk home, wallowing in my selfish self pity.

The strange arena flash back had sent me insane but I knew it wasn't just that. I was acting like annoying self centred Capitol Emery. I had thought that she disappeared as soon as I returned home but obviously I was wrong. I wanted to cry at the thought of how much I had changed. Most people wanted to grow up, but I would give anything to be that innocent little girl again.

I had reached the flowery path up to the victors village when someone called me from behind.

I turned around and saw Gale jogging up to me. "I went to the bakery to see if you're alright."  
>"I'm fine," I snapped, still pretty pissed at him for leaving me. Though it was sweet he had come back.<p>

"I brought you this," he said, awkwardly holding out a meaty sandwich. "they really went down a storm, especially the ones from your kill."  
>"Don't flatter me," I said with a small smile.<p>

"I'm being serious. It was quite young, the meat was tender." I felt guilty about killing a baby animal so I remained quiet.  
>"Anyway I just wanted to thank you for today and... Apologise," he continued.<p>

My eyebrows involuntarily rose, causing Gale to laugh.

"I treated you like a Capitol idiot and I'm sorry. You're different; not like them at all." His ears turned pink when he realised what he'd said. I smiled at him broadly grinning like an idiot. Any half sweet comment from Gale was rare; I treasured them all.

He cleared his throat. "So... Yeah, I best get going. See you around."

"Bye." I waved goodbye as he walked down the lane then continued home in a half daze.

Having Finnick as my fake boyfriend would be harder than I thought. Did I like him in that way? Or was I just caught up in the moment. And what the hell was going on with Gale Hawthorne.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry you had to wait a little while for the update but the chapter was a little longer than normal.<br>I really dont know why I didnt just push myself before when I had writers block because theres only two chapters left. But there will be the sequal which im really looking forward to writing. As i said before, this story was just an introduction to it all, the real action starts later on.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed: _PoisonedTiger, XoANNIEoX, La-Lucy, loco chanel, jessie2000, AllyAlly96242, ShortySC22, lolamellark123, smileykat14, revanha gabz1197 _and anyone else who reviewed who i forgot to write/never signed in. Is it possible to get to 300 before the next update? : )**

**Thanks for reading, let me know what you think**


	29. The Kiss

And your hearts against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck

I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet

I've been feeling, everything from hate to love, from love to lust, from lust to truth I guess that's how I know you

- Kiss Me, Ed Sheeran

* * *

><p>The next week passed fast, too fast, and before I knew it, it was only two days before the reaping.<p>

I woke up on Thursday morning to our phone's shrill ring echoing throughout the house.

I heard Haymitch grunt then roll over in his bed. So I guess it was my turn to answer it.

I fumbled out of bed and into the hallway then picked up the receiver.

"Hello," I yawned.

"Emery, are you still asleep, it's almost 7am," Finnick scolded.

"Its Seven am?!" I asked, looking down at the clock. He had woken me up over an hour earlier than I should have. "This better be good?"

I was met with silence. "Erm... I'm off the energy drink," he said weakly. I could picture him smiling at me like a small child who had done wrong.

"Finn!"

"Sorry for waking you. I'd thought you'd be awake and this could be the last opportunity for a pregames gossip," he defended. "So, got any secrets..."

"Yes because twelves full of them," I said scathingly. "But did you hear about the railroad tracks, they stopped the last parcel."

"Wait, what?" I could feel the rage in his silence down the line. He knew what had really happened, it doesn't take a genius to realise that Snow was behind it. It wouldn't surprise me if he had done something similar to Finn in the past.

"Sucks doesn't it. But there's nothing I can do. Though some kind folks cooked for the poor and gave them food."

"Well those people better be careful," he warned. "Stuff like that can land a person in trouble."

I pursed my lips. He knew it was me, maybe Snow did too. But I was passed caring. Snow hated me prior to this; I doubted it was possible for me to piss me off further. Part of me wished I had just given out money, but there was another part of my brain, the safe part putting me against the idea. Although I thought I had it all figured out, you should never underestimate Snow.

"So, how are you feeling about Saturday?" I asked, trying to stray away from the topic of my extra curricular activities.

"Like shit," he said honestly. "I feel for you though, first years always the worst."

"Gee thanks," I murmured, but I knew he was right. I had all these visions and dreams of me being the best mentor ever and bringing a victor home, but the chances of that were slim.

There had been a twenty three year gap between mine and Haymitch's win. I doubt we'd get another one just a year later.

"I have some news that'll cheer you up though," he continued. "I was in the Capitol this weekend and I found out Four's new stylist."

"Who is-" I realised the answer before I had spoke. "Rohm?" I laughed.

Finn grunted down the phone. "Why are you laughing so hard, it's not funny, it's tragic."

"Sorry pal but this is hilarious," I laughed. "I get rid of him and he just boomerangs back to you."

"Shut up," he whined. "I met your new stylist too. He's... Different."

My eyebrows flurried in confusion. "Different as in rainbow Mohawk or..."

"Normal different. He's really nice, not like a Capitolist at all." I could hear the confusion in Finn's voice too but this wasn't something to ponder about.

"Good, I think we deserve someone nice, lets just hope he's good."

We spoke for a few minutes more until someone knocked on Finnick's door and he had to go.

Once he hung up, I looked at the clock and groaned. It wasn't even 7.30 yet. There's was still an hour and half before school started. I sighed and stomped back to my room to get ready, maybe I'd be early for once.

Since the weather was still stifling hot, I put on a summer dress and threw my hair up. Little makeup was needed too, so I was done and ready in ten minutes.

It was typical. The one day I was early and I set the world record for fastest morning dressing. I never really ate on the mornings either so breakfast couldn't really be used as a time waster.

I settled on a cup of coffee before deciding that 8.30 was an acceptable time to leave. And even though I walked slowly, I still arrived a good fifteen minutes early.

The chatter outside the school was loud; filled with nervous chatter about the upcoming reaping.

Like the cafeteria, the front of the school was divided. The merchant kids sat on the steps while the people from the Seam hung further away, littered around the dying grass.

I looked around for Peeta or Madge, even Katniss, but I couldn't see them anywhere. I refused to sit on the ground by myself, so I wandered around, trying not to look to lost.

As I neared the side of the school, I smelt a whiff of tobacco smoke. I wanted to ignore it but I was too curious to see who was crazy enough to smoke on school property.

I walked around the side and saw a group of older Seam boys sitting on the steps to a fire escape, all rowdily talking and joking.

I went to turn away but one saw me.

"Piss off and leave us alone," one called. Senior Seam boys who were too good for education, always a class act.

"Sorry, I smelt the smoke I was just..." I didn't know why I was bothering to explain myself to them.

"Poor Abernathy, did we upset your gold encrusted lungs?" They all laughed, except for one boy.

"Abernathy?" Thom stood up from the crowd and smiled at me. "Trust me fella's, this girls lungs are a lot more corrupted than ours."

He handed me the cigarette he was smoking and all eyes fell on me. I didn't really feel like it but I wanted to proof a point. I took a small drag and handed it back to him.

"How's the head?" Thom asked jokingly.

"Shut up," I moaned, turning slightly red. I was half expecting him to launched into the story of how I passed out while hunting but thankfully he shut up.

"Hey, you can help us out. We're all in the reaping bowl a lot, so odds are its going to be one of us and we want to do something fun before Saturday," Thom said. "Got any ideas?"

They all turned to me expectantly. I felt quite intimidated by this big group of men. I twisted my earring around as I thought deeply.

"You could get a good nights sleep before one of you goes off to meet your doom. That sounds fun," I suggested sarcastically.

The one who taunted me earlier scoffed. "Should've known you'd be no help. This doesn't effect you in your mansion anyway."

I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows. "Really? Are you forgetting who went through all this and will be a mentor this year? I suggest you start being nice to me or its not going to end well."

Thom laughed while the others around looked mildly amused. "She sure told you Dan."

The boy, presumably Dan, looked down angry, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. "So can you help or not?"

I thought hard. I wanted to help but what could I do. Giving out money wouldn't help and it would just get us all in trouble. My victors house was empty though, maybe I could offer it to them.

"How about a gathering at my house. We could invite as many people as possible and have food, and dancing and stuff," I said excitedly, as the idea began to form in my mind.

"You'd even invite the merchants?" A grumble echoed through their small group.

"Yes the merchants. Everyones stupid prejudices have to stop. I'll sort it all out just spread the word, my house tomorrow at 6," I instructed, begining to walk away. The front doors had been opened and soon the bell would ring.

"Can my little sister come?" one of the boys asked. "Shes always been obessed with those houses."

I smiled at him kindly. "Sure, bring your whole family if you want."

For the first time ever, I was the first to arrive for math class. I sat down at my desk, feeling quite proud of myself, as everyone filtered in behind me.

Gale came in last, slumping in silently. I smiled at him as he walked through the door, the gesture returned with a nod.

When he got to our desk, he lowered his voice and began talking. "Why has Thom just ambushed me about a party at yours?"

"Its not a party persay, just a gathering tomorrow. You're welcome to come. Bring your mom and your brothers and Posy," I said with a smile. I missed Gales cute little sister, I hadn't seen her in a long time.

"I'll see," he said, getting his things out his bad.

His reply translated to a heartbreaking "no". I was disappointed, but not surprised. Gale wasn't really the sociable type.

"It's at six if you change your mind," I said with a small smile. "And it won't go on too late."

I didn't really want one of those wild teenage parties like I had read about and seen in the Capitol. I wasn't saying no alcohol, my 'father' was Haymitch Abernathy after all, but it wouldn't be the soul of the party.

After school I went around the town and brought food and drink for the party, Peeta tagging along. With my big donation a few weeks ago, the bakery could afford to let their labour go for a few hours.

"What food are you thinking?" He asked, nodding his head towards the bakery. I laughed.

"Because you haven't robbed me enough this month. Cakes a definite," I grinned at him. "We need some kind of meat and potatoes, and pancakes!" I remembered happily. How could I forget those.

Peeta rolled his eyes. "And I wonder who'll be making those."

I stuck my tongue out at him and made my way down to the Hob. Peeta hated the place but he had no choice in the matter. I needed someone to help me carry and it was rather him or Madge, who had even less strength than I did. I was a pitiful victor.

"Why are you even doing this anyway?" Peeta asked as we walked down the familiar dirt track to the Seam.

I shrugged. "I thought it would be nice. Get everyone's mind off the games, including mine. Plus I always feel guilty about that big empty house having no use."

He raised his eyebrows. "So this isn't one of your attempts to get everyone to like you."

I laughed, but Peeta's comment stung a little. He was only joking, but it felt desperate being said aloud. It was common knowledge that I was a little insecure about being hated, which is why I ran around like a puppy, cracking jokes, charming people and begging for attention. Peeta was right, I just didn't like hearing it.

The Hob was pretty empty when we got there, as most the trading happened in the morning, but there were still a few things on the stalls.

We brought two bottles of whiskey, three vodka and a keg of beer. I told the vendor they were for Haymitch. He shrugged understandingly at my large haul and asked for no questions as I handed over the money.

"Couldn't you have brought this last?" Peeta asked as he rolled the keg around the warehouse.

I honestly didn't think and felt bad for not caring. He was a strong boy, he could handle it.

After we had brought some fruit and veg and had bumped into Darius, inviting him to the party, we made our way home.

The guilt sunk in so I carried the bags as Peeta lugged the keg along the rocky roads. We got a few confused looks as we walked but thankfully the road to the victors village was rarely occupied.

When we got home, Haymitch, who normally sat half dead at the table, perked up at the sight of alcohol.

"Is this for me?" He asked, immediately eyeing up the bottle of whiskey.

"Sorry booze cruise but we're having a party tomorrow next door. You don't have to come if you don't want to," I said, snatching the bottles out of his reach and hiding them in the utility under the sink.

"Don't you know me at all sweetheart, I go where that goes," he called, his slurs echoing throughout the hall. "Besides, it's not a party unless I'm there."

I came back into the kitchen and stood next to Peeta who had positioned himself next to the fridge.

"Hungry?" I asked with a grin, noticing his longing glances at the appliance.

He laughed. "Just a bit. Lugging bear around can be hard work."

"I'd offer to make you some food but I don't really fancy giving you food poisoning."

"Same," Haymitch mumbled, trying to prize open one of the bottles with his teeth. I snatched it out his hands for the second time and pulled the top off easily before handing it back to him.

"You're already a drunk, we don't need you toothless either," I said before turning back to Peeta. "I'll have a look and see if there's anything easy I can whip you up."

"It's alright, I should be getting home," he said, walking towards to door.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Wait, you didn't get our unsubtle hints for you to make us food?" Haymitch looked up at him from beside me and nodded his head.

"I did, but I was just going to ignore them. Now I feel guilty..." He murmured looking down at the floor.

"Relax St Peeta," I laughed. "I give you permission to go home and bake until your hearts content."

"Gee thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."

I took various scraps of food from tge fridge and sat down at the table opposite Haymitch as Peeta let himself out.

There was still a few slices of ham left so I ate them raw as Haymitch continued to drink the whiskey, sneaking bites of the cheese when I wasn't looking.

"You seem in a good mood today," he commented randomly. "What with everything going on."

I shrugged. "I think it's this whole party thing. Keeps my mind of things. No doubt I'm going to be a complete wreck after it."

"Hope not," he said, finishing off the dregs in his bottle. "You seemed like the old you. Sarcasting, biting..."

"Is that a good thing?" I cut in with a small laugh.

"Anythings an improvement from Crazy Emery," he commented.

"I was always crazy."

:-:

Friday. Reaping day was tomorrow but I tried not to think about that. Today would be focused on the party. I had told people to spread the word around so hopefully there would be a good turn out under the pretences of mountains free food and beer.

I took the day off school to sort everything out. I had a lie in until ten then threw on my sweatpants and tennis shoes and went next door. I was too lazy to put my contacts in so my glasses made an appearance too.

Thanks to the heat, it was possible to have a garden party but the main problem was how to set everything out. We had quite a few chairs but not nearly enough tables. I had only two and that was where the food and drink was going to go.

Food was another problem. I was the worst cook in the world, how was I supposed to cater for a large amount of people. I was way in over my head.

Yesterday, I called up Rocky and asked him to send two pig roasts on the train which was dropping off the Capitol reporters who were setting up for tomorrow. Which was all well and good, but I doubted two pigs would go around.

I went out into the backyard and stared blankly out, trying to envision where everything would go. My garden was pretty plain; just grass and a large tree at the bottom with the branches from the neighbouring gardens hanging over the fence.

I could easily decorate them with streamers. And somehow create a dance floor and maybe an isle of some kind running through the centre of the tables.

Once I had got a semi idea, I went into town and brought a roll of left over fabric from the dress maker which would serve as the isle.

I then found about nine large squares of cork board for the dance floor dumped in the seam. It took a few journeys to get it all back to the house but I managed to do it without drawing too much attention to myself.

Once everything I had gathered was laid outside, I started to gather chairs from mine and Haymitch's house, something that really annoyed Runt for some reason. His barking was so bad, it woke up Haymitch before noon, so I was forced to take the little devil next door with me.

By the time Madge and Peeta had arrived from school, a dance floor and isle had been created, a sofa was in my garden, and Runt was running a muck, weaving in and out the randomly placed chairs.

"Help me!" I begged, my voice strongly resembling a monster, as they came through the door.

"What's up?" Madge asked, eyeing my handy work with interest.

"Tables! I have no idea what to use," I moaned.

Peeta walked over to the drinks table and began setting up cups. "Can't you just use this?"

"It only fits ten people around it," I said, leaning up against the large keg of beer that Peeta and I brought yesterday.

Madge looked at it with interest. "How many of those are at the Hob?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm not buying more. I don't want people to get too drun- We could use the barrels! Madge, you're a genius." I hugged her tightly, a huge grin on my face.

With just over two hours to go until the party, we sprinted to the hob to buy more beer but thrown around the back were about fifteen empty barrels.

"Take them and run?"

They both nodded wearily.

The barrels were a lot easier to carry empty, but were still awkward because of their size. It took over half an hour before we had transported them home. I hoped no one needed them later.

We set them around the garden, placing four chairs or stools around each of them. The garden looked great and very chic, but there was something missing.

"We need to hang something," I said, looking at the bare trees.

"How about lanterns?" Madge suggested. Peeta and I looked at her in confused. "My mom showed me how to make them years ago. You get a tea light and put it in a jar with a hole in the lid."

I pursed my lips, trying to think where we could get a lot of jars in short time. But then I remembered all the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I made while we were rehearsing for the play.

I rarely came here, so never emptied the bins. My laziness had actually paid off.

I almost vomited as I riffled through the months old trash to find the jars. Thankfully there was no rotting food. But there was 10 glass jars in there. Those added to my eight back home created floating fairies across the garden as we hung the lanterns on string from one tree to another. I couldn't wait for it to get dark to see it all properly.

While Madge and I made the lanterns, Peeta baked cakes and a huge stack of pancakes. With that and the bread and bovril to go with the pork, I thought we'd do okay.

At five thirty while we were hanging up the lanterns, I caught sight of my reflection; frazzled hair, flushed face, glasses and sweat pants.

"Crap! Why didn't you remind me to get ready!" I complained, dropping my lantern and running over to the fence. I climbed over easily, much to Madge's amusement then ran into my own house. Haymitch was sat chilling in the kitchen but I hadn't time to chat or lecture him about his behaviour for the evening.

I really wanted to look great tonight but because I only had twenty minutes to get ready, I didn't even have time for a shower.

Since it had been in a bun all day, my hair was ridiculously curly and very voluminous. I shook it down then added quick make up before sliding into the first outfit I found which happened to be shorts and a purple floaty top. At least I looked semi presentable.

Haymitch was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, as he always did.

"Ready to go sweetheart?" If I knew any better, I'd say he looked like he was looking forward to the evening.

I shook my head. "Not in the slightest, but given the time frame, this is as good as it gets."

When we got next door there was already about ten people milling around; checking out the refreshments and admiring the garden.

I had to admit it looked pretty cool. And in an hours time when it started to get dark, it would look even better with the lanterns that were hanging across the garden.

Thankfully, someone had the sense to turn the music on so the quiet lull of music filled the silence of the small crowd.

I said my hellos and helped myself to food as more people began to show up, mainly from the seam, though there were a few townies present.

Peeta brother's had came which was cool to see, though it looked like the girls they had come with had forced them. But whatever made Peeta happy.

At about 7pm, when it was finally getting dark, a cute familiar voice called from behind.

"Emery," Prim called from behind.

I turned and saw her and Posy Hawthorne running towards me.

"Emerly," she said shyly, but still looking very happy to see me.

"Hey Prim, hey Rosy-Posy, I like your dress." She looked down and blushed. "And you too Prim, you look lovely."

Really, their dresses were quite plain and very seam like, but I could see they had made an effort. Everyone here had, something that strangely made me want to cry, but I was unsure of why.

"Who are you here with?" I asked Prim and Posy hopefully.

"Our moms and Rory and Vick," Prim said. "Everyone was talking about it so I begged my mom to let us come. We can't stay too long because of tomorrow. It my first reaping you know. I'm so scared what if..."

As Prim continued talking, I tried not to be disappointed that Gale hadn't come, or even Katniss for that matter. It was pretty weird that their families had come and not them.

I wondered if they were hanging out together, having fun or hunting freely in the woods. I felt a pang of jealously at the thought of them together. There had always been rumours, but I had dismissed them, having faced the same thing with Peeta. But maybe for once, gossip was right.

I said a brief hello to Prim and Posy's mom then went to stand by Madge and Peeta who were standing by the drinks table.

"This is so great!" Madge said, admiring the yard filled with people.

"I know, part of me thought no one would turn up."

"It's really great, you should be proud of yourself," Peeta said, smiling at me kindly. "It sure has taken everyone's mind off tomorrow." He pointed to the group of kids who were playing happily on the 'dance floor'.

"I can't take all the credit. You guys have been brilliant."

"Aww that's so sweet, is there going to be a group hug. Go team!" Darius came and stood beside us, his usually cheeky grin still in place.

"This is a private conversation. Don't you have some peace to keep?" I asked sarcastically.

"Most the districts concentrated here, I thought I'd take up your invite."

"And it's nothing to do with the free booze?" I raised my eyes as he pulled the cork out of a bottle with his teeth.

"Course not," he said, as it opened with a pop. "Want any?"

"I'm good. But thanks for offering me my own drink."

Madge and Peeta smiled, mildly amused but then excused themselves. They always felt weird when I teased the law.

There was a fine line and I seemed to have crossed it. But thankfully a butterfly was more threatening than Darius.

"Careful Abernathy or I'll revoke my gift," he warned with a cheesy wag of his finger.

"Gift?"

"I'd brought you the band. The retired peacekeepers who play at our shitty events. You can't say I don't treat you good."

I looked over into the house and saw the familiar five ex peacekeepers with their instruments. I grinned broadly.

"Wow thanks. We can get people up to dance now."

"Only if I get the first."

I agreed immediately. Dancing with Darius was always fun.

Lots of people began to get up and danced after our display. We just watched from the sofa, talking idly about his plans.

He had applied to work at the Capitol, so he would be able to see Cashmere again. Then, in five years time, he would be able to transfer to her district if a senior peacekeeping position was open.

"Can't you just find a girlfriend here, it would be a lot easier," I suggested, licking the frosting off one of Peeta's cakes.

"I can't. She always in my head. As pathetic as it sounds, it was like love at first sight. It's always going to be her," he said softly.

I smiled at him sadly. "Wow, you do have a heart."

His joking expression returned almost immediately. "Which is why the ladies can't stay away."

I scoffed. "Ladies? You're having to move to another district to get a girl. Slight contradiction there."

Darius narrowed his eyes at me. "Do you want me to leave with the band."

"No sir." I shook my head and saluted him.

He shook his empty glass and handed it to me. "Then be a doll and fill this up."

I stuck my tongue out at him but still skipped off to the drinks table.

It was after nine so a lot of the little kids had started to go home but the place was still pretty full. Posy sat asleep on one of the chairs as her mom chattered happily to her neighbours. I had always liked Hazelle, she had a warmth about her that you couldn't help but like.

I went to pour more beer but we were all out. I tried to get angry but it was probably Haymitch who had consumed if all. And there was more in the cellar.

I went into the dark house but bumped straight into someone.

"Oh I'm so sorry," I apologised, squinting to see who it was.

"It's fine," Gale answered quietly. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," I said, trying to hide the excitement in my voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see where everyone was, it's getting late. I can leave if you want?"

"No," I said a little too quickly. Even thought it was dark, I could tell he was smiling. "Let's go into the kitchen."

I held my head down as we walked, trying to hide my smile. I gave myself three seconds of grinning to get it out my system before looking up to him.

"You want a drink?" I asked, spying an unopened bottle on the kitchen counter.

He shook his head. "I'm good thanks."

I shrugged and poured myself a glass, leaving Darius' discarded on the side. He was pretty drunk, he wouldn't remember.

"Not a bad turn out," he commented, looking out into the garden. A lot of people were beginning to leave now, leaving only a dozen or so milling around.

"You should've came earlier, the place was rammed. But everyone's leaving now because of... You know."

An awkward silence fell between us as we both stared off. The odds weren't in Gale's favour and chances was that his name would be pulled out the stupid bowl.

"Do you want some food?" I asked quickly. A ghost of a smile crossed his lips.

"Why do you keep offering me things?"

"I don't know I'm just being a good hostess. But if you don't want me too..." I smiled, copying his joke from before.

"Hilarious," he said dryly. He looked out the window and spotted Posy asleep on the chair, with Rory and Vick not far behind. "They're completely gone."

"I think everyone is. The people of twelve can't hack the party life," I said wistfully.

"No one else is used to your Capitol lifestyle," he mumbled dully.

I folded my arms, feeling the anger slowly rising, just like the other times when he had lumped me with the Capitol. "Haymitch," I defended quickly.

"Don't speak too soon." Gale nodded over to where Haymitch had passed out in the hydrangea bushes with a bottle in one hand, pig leg in the other.

I tried to hold my ground but a smile seeped through my mask. "Did Gale just crack a funny?"

His eyebrows crinkled in fake sadness. "I'm always funny."

"Funny looking," I said childishly. I mentally slapped myself and the alcohol which was infecting my brain

"Coming from the girl with a half shaved head."

"I thought we'd already established, I'm crazy," I said, holding my hands on my hips. The best way to end an argument was always to put yourself down.

"You're right about something."

A small silence fell between us as the band began to play their final song.

I looked up to Gale shyly. "Do you want to dance?"

He looked down to me and grimaced. "Sorry but I don't dance... I should get going anyway. It's passed ten, I need to get the kids home. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You too," I said, trying to hide my disappointment. "Good luck if I don't see you."

After Gale carried Posy out, everyone else seemed to slowly filter out. We had done well to last this late, considering how early the party started.

The guests thanked me as they left, leaving just me, Peeta, Madge, a passed out Haymitch and a crate of unopened wine.

"This place is a mess!" Peeta cringed looking across the empty garden.

"You guys can leave if you want." I was met with protests from the pair. "Seriously it's fine. A cleaners coming from the Capitol while we're away. I only need to get rid of the food that'll rot."

"Are you sure?" Madge asked wide eyed; I could see the bags under her eyes.

"Totally, it's late and you need sleep for tomorrow..."

"Don't remind us," Peeta mumbled, pulling me into a one armed hug and kissing my cheek. "And follow your own advice and get some sleep."

"Yeah, yeah," I said with a faint smile, hugging Madge goodbye.

Once they had gone, I sighed and flopped over to the sofa, ignoring the mess and focusing on the beauty of the garden. The lanterns still flickered, leaving a magical glow over me.

This would probably be the last time for weeks where I would be able to get some peace. It was all downhill from here.

I remained seated for a few more minutes before reluctantly standing up to beginning cleaning up. I wasn't lying when I said a cleaner would be coming while we were away, but I doubted they'd be happy with the garden filled with rats, feasting on left over pig roast.

I put the record player back on and sang along to the music as I cleaned. The alcohol had not 100% worn off yet, so my voice was a lot louder than normal.

"Little darling, it feels like years since we've been here," I sang, sweeping the contents of one of the tables into a trash bag.

"Here comes the sun, doo do do doo, here comes the sun and I sayyyy, it's alright. Do do do do do do. Little darlin-"

"You really are a terrible singer," a voice said from behind me.

I jumped in surprise and spun around. Gale stood on the steps up to the house, an amused grin on his face.

"Erm, Thanks," I said, still panting from the shock of being snuck up on. "What are you doing here?"

He awkwardly looked around, his hand resting on the back of his neck as he spoke. "I came to help you clean up. And I wanted to apologise for being rude."

"You weren't rude," I said politely.

"Emery, yes I was." For some reason I blushed when he said my name. I prayed he didn't notice.

"Okay, maybe a little," I admitted with a small smile. "But you know how to make it up to me," I said, throwing him a trash bag.

He caught it easily, as I had expected. We worked mostly in silence, which made the whole cleaning process go a lot quicker.

"What shall I do with these?" Gale asked, holding up an unopened crate of wine.

"Drink it if you want," I shrugged. "Haymitch doesn't like it, and there's no way I'd go through all that by myself."

"I'm alright," he said, putting the crate back on the table. "Thanks for the offer."

"You're so uptight," I said, putting my own trash bag down. We had cleaned up all the perishables now and was free to go home, but I didn't want to. Not yet anyway.

"Me? Uptight?" He asked offended.

"Yes you. The guy who avoids party's and fun at all costs. Who turns down a free drink."

"I am not uptight," he defended still.

"Oh yeah," I said, folding my arms and nodding over to the crate. "Prove it."

He pursed his lips into a small smile and sighed, pulling out two bottles and throwing one to me.

I just managed to catch it, the bottle scraping across my fingers. I looked up to see if he had noticed my hiss of pain, but he was too busy taking the cork out his bottle with his teeth. I quickly followed, it releasing with a small pop.

Gale held out his bottle to me and clinked it against mine. "Here's to... Not being up tight."

He put the bottle to his lips and drank half of it at an impressive rate. I gulped mine down too, not wanting to be shown as weak after bullying him into drinking.

"Slow down there Abernathy, don't want to do yourself an injury," he said as I held back a hiccup.

"You can talk. I haven't seen as eyes as glassy as yours since New Years with Haymitch."

He stepped closer towards me, so our chests were touching. I froze as our eyes met. Without breaking eye contact he downed the rest of his drink. I followed suit, being careful not to blink or look away.

The air was electric between us, the feelings I had tried to repress for the past few months came up to the surface as the drink went down.

"So, am I still up tight?" He asked again, his voice so hoarse it sent a shiver up my spine.

"So you can drink. You still never danced with me," I challenged.

He raised his eyebrows and held out his hands. "Miss Abernathy, would you like to dance?"

"I would be honoured Mr Hawthorne." I curtsied and took his hand, a tingling spreading through me when we touched.

He pulled me closer to him and swayed be back and forth as the slow song played on the speakers, our right hands joined, his left on my hip. I was initially frozen but I relaxed to his chest. I could hear his heartbeat speeding up, as mine probably was too.

I closed my eyes as we moved side to side. I sighed in content as his breath tickled my forehead.

My stomach fluttered, as though a thousand butterflies had been let out of their cages inside of me. It was happening. I liked Gale. Really liked him.

I had known this earlier but I had just dismissed it, ignored my feelings and thought they had gone away. But they were still here, but this time more intense, stronger.

But what would hansom Gale want with a short, little brat like me.

_He wouldn't be here, holding you like this of he didn't_, a voice in my head sang.

He let go of my waist and spun me out, before bringing me back in to his chest. I smiled and put my hand on his arm as we moved together.

He spun me out again, this time slower. Our eyes met as the lanterns above us glowed. We stopped moving, our hands still joined together.

He looked conflicted as his dark eyes clouded over, his thick eyebrows flurried.

Gale slowly pulled me back in to him then let go of my hand. I couldn't hear the music anymore, I couldn't see anything but him.

And then his lips were on mine, soft and hesitant. My heart skipped a beat as I froze in shock. And then my insides exploded.

I closed my eyes and pulled him closer but he backed away, looking down at the floor as he went.

"I'm sorry..." He muttered, walking past the sofa towards the steps. "I should go."

My brain went into overdrive. No way was he leaving. I had waited six months for this moment. And I wasn't going to be unhappy just could Captain Uptight had freaked out.

I ran over to him and grabbed his arm. In one swift move I turned him around and pressed my lips back onto his. He seemed surprised at first but then kissed me back, his hands trailing down my sides and resting on my waist.

I put mine on the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me. But nothing satisfied the yearning inside of me.

I parted my lips as his tongue invaded mouth, making me want him even more.

We toppled to the sofa, breaking the kiss for a second before returning to each other with an even more passionate force.

I knelt up on my knees, so I was hovering above him. He smirked under my lips and did the same, so he was taller than me again.

I groaned as fingers went up my shirt, pressing hard into my skin. Our teeth clanked together in the desperate frenzy, the feelings, the tension between us finally being expressed.

But nothing we did seemed to be enough. I hooked my fingers into the waistband of his jeans and pulled him closer.

This got a response from Gale who's hands began to wander up by body. Two could play at this game.

I grabbed the hem of his shirt and ripped it over his head, placing my hands onto his chiseled chest.

"Emery," he breathed against my lips, winding one of his hands into my hair.

Feeling egged on by the sound of my name, I pushed myself against him, making him groan into my mouth.

He pulled back for air, throwing my shirt across the garden. I was in such a daze, I hadn't even noticed him taking it off. Whether it was the alcohol or lack of oxygen, I didn't know, but he was my oxygen now. He was what I needed to keep going.

He rested his forehead against mine, his hand cupping my face, his eyes darker, even more so than before. I suddenly felt shy under his intense gaze.

"Emery, I need you."

"I need you too," I whispered.

His lips were on mine again, this time less urgent but somehow more intense, like he was putting all this feelings into the kiss.

My hands trailed down his toned stomach and down to the button on his pants. He began to unclasp my bra but a loud grunt from the bushes broke us a part.

Haymitch, I had completely forgotten about him.

We froze, half naked as Haymitch staggered into the house, not noticing us at all.

I stared at Gale wide eyed, my swollen lips parted. His expression mirrored my own. His eyes trailed down my body, then to his own topless self, his pants half off.

My face was bright red as I padded across the garden, putting my shirt back on. When I looked over Gale was now fully clothed, doing up his button and zipper.

He stopped when he was done and looked at me with questioning eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise," I said quickly. Even though I was embarrassed, I missed his warmth.

"It's late, I should go. I'll see you tomorrow."

With one last lingering looked, he walked back into the house, leaving me alone outside.

* * *

><p><strong>This is where my grovelling begins. I'm so sorry. As I said before, I write my chapters on my phone. However, my phone was stolen, just as I completed the new chapter. So I had to wait for a new phone and then write it all again. I'm really sorry for the wait, but on the plus side this chapter is over 7000 words long.<strong>

**Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, next chapter (and last chapter) will be soon!**


	30. The Morning After

You've been acting awful tough lately, smoking a lot of cigarettes lately

But inside, you're just a little baby

It's okay to say you've got a weak spot, you don't always have to be on top

Better to be hated, then loved, loved loved for what you're not

You're vulnerable, so vulnerable

- I am not a Robot, Marina and the Diamonds

* * *

><p>I woke up the following morning feeling as though someone had bashed my head repeatedly with a pan. I groaned and rolled over, but the movement just upset my stomach.<p>

I made it to the bathroom just in time for the alcohol from last night to come up. As I lay on the cool tiled floor, the nights events began to creep back to me. Drinking, dancing, more drinking, more dancing, this time with Gale. Kissing Gale, half nakedly dry humping Gale on my sofa.

I groaned again, this time out of pure embarrassment. Why did I always make a complete idiot of myself in front of him? He probably hated me even more now. It was no secret he had a thing for Katniss, and I had gotten him drunk and taken advantage of him.

I slowly stood up and went downstairs, making sure not to move too quickly. Surprisingly, Haymitch was already seated at the table. I was about to comment, that was until I saw the time.

"12.45, shit!" The Reaping started at 4, and Haymitch and I were supposed to get there early to be briefed for the ceremony. On what, I don't know. I thought sitting on a stage and looking pretty was an easy job, but apparently you needed a half hour meeting to qualify.

"Food?" Haymitch asked, holding up a piece of toast. I was hungry but I shook my head. Anything to enter my stomach today would likely just come backup. Nerves and a hangover were not a good mix.

"Do you... Remember anything from last night?" I tried to sound indifferent, but my curiosity crept through.

Being Haymitch though, he didn't push it. He just laughed and answered my question. "I remember drinking, and I remember a pig. I don't even remember coming home."

I let out a small sigh of relief. "It was a fun night," I said, successfully hiding my blush. If it wasn't going to be so awkward next time I saw Gale, I would've allowed myself to enjoy in the post make out bliss. But I knew his eyes would hold their usual guarded cloud as they met mine across the square later today.

I took a mug of tea but the slight sweetness to it made me feel even more sick than before.

"Ugh, how do you cope with this hangover thing everyday?" I asked Haymitch.

"Hair of the dog," he replied simply, pulling out a flask of whiskey. "You know what to do."

I took a shot of the whiskey and stirred it into my mug. The tea tasted a lot nicer with it in.

"I heard you throwing up this morning," he commented with a lazy grin.

"Just keeping up with the tradition of hurling my guts up every reaping day."

I drank the rest of my tea in silence, my thoughts trailing from Gale, to the Games and then to Runt who was still asleep in the corner.

I needed to offload him to someone so he could be looked after during the games. I assumed Gale would but now... I didn't think he would bale. He loved Runt, he would always play and pet him. With his hands. Gale's hands... Gale's hands on my waist...

I shook my head, trying to get dirty thoughts out of my mind.

Gale would have to look after Runt. There was no where else he could go. It would be unhygienic having him run around a bakery, and pets weren't allowed in the mayors house. It was Gale's or nothing.

I excused myself from the table then went upstairs to take a shower. I looked in the mirror and cringed at my reflection.

There were dark bags under my eyes, my skin was blotchy and my lips chapped. Probably because I was kissing Gale. His lips tasted so...

I threw water on my face and stepped into the shower as quick as I could. As of tonight, two people's lives would be in my hands. I couldn't get distracted by anything.

That didn't last long. I spotted light bruises on my hips from Gale's finger tips, which just provoked frenzy number four.

I took a long shower, making sure I was all shiny, including shaved legs. I would get a slight primp at the Capitol, but I still had to look clean for the reaping. All eyes would be on the new victor. Just another year of this, then I would be old news as someone else took over the role of rookie.

My tangled hair took a while to dry and my the time it was straightened, it was already 2.30.

I picked out a flowery dress that fell to my knee and a low pair of heeled sandals. Surprisingly enough I was ready on time.

As always, Haymitch waited at the bottom of the stairs. And as always, we barely spoke on the way into town.

He seemed to have taken 'hair of the dog' a tad too far. I watched in mild amusement as he staggered down the road, his flask popping out of his pocket. The Capitol wouldn't be happy but it was out of my control. This would probably be my only amusement of the day, I may as well enjoy it.

Runt walked by our side on his leash to the justice building. The peacekeepers didn't want to let him inside, but I kicked up such a fuss they had no choice. Point to me.

I shut him in one of the spare rooms with a treat and promised to collect him later and hand him to Gale. If Gale hasn't been reaped.

I mentally slapped myself. No one was getting reaped. Not Gale, not Peeta, Madge or anyone else I knew.

But it would be someone's Gale or someone's Madge, someones daughter or someone's cute little neighbour you had seen playing in the street. It sucked, but what could I do.

We were told the obvious. Sit quietly, then we have half an hour after the ceremony before the train leaves. That would be the time for me to get rid of Runt, and for Haymitch to drink another keg.

Just as we were lining up to get on stage, Haymitch began to back away.

"Where are you going?" I hissed.

"Erm... Bathroom," he said, before running back inside.

"Bathroom my ass," I mumbled, walking up the steps to the stage and taking my seat next to Mayor Undersee.

I smiled politely and said hello, but this wasn't really time for chit chat. The square was filling up, and the reaping would be starting in a few minutes.

My legs jiggled about as I nervously twisted my earring. This would be the moment of truth, where I would find out who I would be protecting for the next few weeks.

I scanned the crowd, spotting poor Prim near the front looking petrified. I gave her an encouraging smile which she did her best to return. First year was always the worst but there was little to worry about. Her name was only in their once. Runt probably had a better chance of being reaped than her.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see a peacekeeper standing beside me, an envelope in hand.

"Message from the Capitol, Miss Abernathy," she said, handing it to me before shuffling away.

I eyed the envelope emblazoned with the Capitol seal suspiciously. What could be so important to interrupt the reaping.

I tore open the letter and read it through. Then again, then again. On the fourth read it finally sunk in. I froze, I could feel the colour draining from my face.

_You say there is no one you care about, we shall see if that is true._

A single rose petal was glued to the bottom of the card.

I looked around frantically, trying to locate Peeta and Madge in the crowd. I was an idiot to think I could keep my friends. My selfishness has put them in danger. Because of me they were going to die.

My eyes suddenly met Gale's. He was standing tall at the back, his eyes questioning my frantic expression. I sighed and composed myself before smiling at him slightly. He didn't look convinced.

He looked tired, like I did this morning. Obviously the alcohol didn't agree with him either.

I thought to last night, then froze again. There were camera and microphones everywhere in the house. What if Snow knew what had happened? What if reaping Gale was punishment for defying his order to be a courtesan? Gale was in the bowl a lot; many people were expecting him or one of his friends anyway. It was the perfect murder.

At that, Effie trotted up on stage, the annoying tap of her heels echoing throughout the square.

"Welcome, Welcome to the seventy-fourth annual Hunger Games." She was met with no applause.

As the usual video about 'war, terrible war' played, I looked at the empty seat beside me. Where was Haymitch?

Maybe he bailed. There was no need for him now there was a sober mentor around.

Just as Effie stepped back up to the microphone, Haymitch staggered onto the stage, bumping into Effie as he went. The crowd sniggered as he yelled nonsense at the camera. I made no move to stop him, it would only make the situation worse, if that was possible.

When he got to my side I yanked his arm down so he sat on the chair.

"Jesus sweetheart if looks could kill," he said loudly, as I glared at him.

I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to Effie who had her hand in the girls reaping bowl.

My legs began to jiggle again as I stared intently. It seemed to take her an eternity to choose one. Slowly, she unfolded the slip and went back to the microphone.

"And our female tribute is... Primrose Everdeen."

I was on my feet before I even knew what I was doing. I couldn't focus. All I could think of was Prim, little Prim, who had innocently starred in my stupid play. The play that had now gotten her murdered.

Haymitch pulled me back onto my chair as people began to stare, but they weren't looking at me anymore. They were looking at Katniss as she was fighting her way to the stage.

I couldn't hear anything, just the muffling in my ears that usually played before one of my episodes.

I took deep breaths and watched as Katniss walked up to the stage. Had she volunteered to save her sister. That was brave.

"I bet that's your sister," Effie said to her, as my hearing returned.

I had a sudden flashback to last year.

_"I bet my vintage McQueen's that you're Haymitch's daughter..."_

I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead.

"Keep it together sweetheart," Haymitch whispered to me.

I looked over and saw Effie fishing through the second bowl. I had no time to worry or pray or wish for a miricle. There was nothing I could do, it would all be in vain. I was numb as Effie pulled the name out.

"Peeta Mellark."

I felt my sharp intake of breath, before everything went black.

**END OF PART THREE**

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><p><strong>And that's the end of the story! I've posted the prologue for the sequel, titled 'WAR GAMES', on my profile and the first chapter will be up in a day or two.<strong>

**Thank you so much to everyone who has reviews and read this story. And also a quick shout out to Cometas Por El Cielo who went and reviewed every chapter. **

**Hope to hear from you all again in the sequel. Thanks for Reading **


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